How can I describe the depths of despair?

How can I show you a life devoid of hope, as everything around you crumbles to pieces, each and every life ground to dust, as the world stops from the sheer pain of it all?

How can I explain the bottom of the abyss to those who have never felt their souls cry out from the sheer weight of it all?

The first note ruined me.

The second taught me what it means to feel despair.

The third was empty.

The fourth was a rebirth.

Something exists despite the overwhelming weight of nothing. The void presses on it from all sides, and yet that piece of existence refuses to bend or break, instead growing to encompass everything.

I drop to my bed, gasping for air as my flute rolls across the floor.

It takes a moment for my vision to return to me, but even then, I fear to move as my qi rampages through my body and through the room around me. Sharp arcs of qi slice through the beds, causing fleece and fabric to fly into the air. My heart beats a thousand times a minute, and I attempt to bring my mind back to the world, to control the ever expanding aura of qi around me.

Finally, it lessens. Feathers slowly fall through the air, resting daintily on the carved up beds of the room.

I stare at the ceiling, wooden beams that had barely escaped the rampaging qi. I raise my hand to my forehead, and wipe away sweat.

I need to clean myself.

My hand falls back to the bed.

I need to pick up my flute.

My hand tightens around the blanket, straining as I put all my strength into my grip.

Ever so gently, I calm my qi. I hum the Third Song: Tranquil Lake

The song further brings peace to me, as my mind enjoys the tranquility.

I push myself up slowly. My body is sore, my muscles protesting every movement. I move to my feet, but my legs betray me and I fall to the floor.

I let out a small groan. I reach out and grab my flute, my fingers wrapping around the dangerous instrument.

With a monumental force of will, I push myself back to my feet.

I immediately sit down on the edge of my bed.

That… that was… I’ve never lost myself like that.

It was terrifying.

I put my hands to my eyes, only for my flute to bonk my head lightly. I adjust my grip and fall back into my bed.

“What happened here?” Xia Jing asks.

I hadn’t even heard her enter.

I raise my hand and waive it in a vague gesture.

She walks farther into the room, and sits down on the bed next to me. Hair clouds my vision as she looks down at me.

“Are you alright?”

I nod, “No, but Shia’s watching over me.”

A hiss from the wooden beams above me is the snake’s response.

Xia Jing snorts, then places a meatbun in my mouth. “Lai Ming is out gathering information, she’ll be back soon.”

I chew on the food, mustering enough energy to grab the food with my hand so I don’t choke.

“‘s good.” I say, taking another bite.

“We’re lucky someone would sell to us.” Xia Jing lifts up her pillow, all of the fluffing falling out of it from a large cut in its side. “Everyone’s shut down.” She kneels down to the floor and restuffs the pillow. “They’re scared.”

“There’s lots of things to be scared of.” I say. I push myself up, managing to sit on my bed. “I think I broke through again.”

Xia Jing pauses, and looks up at me. “So soon?”

I nod. It’s hard to tell, my meridians still sore from the rampaging qi, but I can feel the qi flowing through my twelfth meridian, the blockage gone. All from playing four notes of the eleventh requiem.

“I’m jealous.” The words ring more true than I thought they would.

I look over to the other girl, but she’s not looking at me, instead her gaze is on the ceiling.

She shakes her head and matches my gaze, the corner of her mouth tilting up in a half-smile. “I’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”

I nod emphatically, part of me feeling guilty.

Before I can say more, Lai Ming returns, and the topic turns to easier things. We finish dinner, then stay up late working on our own things. I meditate in order to further soothe my sore meridians, while Xia Jing examines herbs and writes into a notebook, and Lai MIng moves through the movements of a martial art I’m not familiar with.

***

I’m woken by the sound of a bell ringing through the city. The bell is followed by yelling and screaming.

Our door bursts open, showing the same orange-eyed woman that had agreed to find us passage. She rushes into the room. “Hurry, get ready!”

Lai Ming rolls out of her bed, while I blink blearily at the commotion.

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Xia Jing is by my side a second later, pulling me from the bed.

“Get dressed.” she hisses.

Her words finally wake me up enough to the world around me, and I hurry to follow her instructions. Shia crawls up my leg as I dress.

The woman sticks here head out the hallway.

“What’s happening?” I ask, struggling to tie my robes.

“The army moved in the night, they’re at the walls now, but that won’t stop them for long.” A young girl runs over and hands the woman a bag. She whispers something to the girl, and the young girl runs off again. “There’s a boat waiting for you by the river, but I’m not sure how long they can stay.”

I tie my sword to my waist, and double check my flute in my pocket.

Seeing the three of us ready, the woman steps out of the room with a hurried “Follow me.”

She half runs, and we hurry to keep up with her as she leads us through a kitchen, and into a storage room filled with foods and wine. She hurries over to the wine shelf, and leans against it, grunting with effort as she pushes it out of the way to reveal a trap-door.

“This isn’t the only entrance into the tunnels, so keep your eyes open and your blades sharp.” The woman opens the trap-door. “Keep the boat there as long as you can. I’ll join you after I’ve made sure the others are safe.”

I look down into the darkness, a sense of deja vu hitting me.

“Follow the path right and it’ll lead you straight there.” she says.

Lai Ming jumps first, followed by Xin Jing. I’m about to follow when a hand grabs mine. “Stay safe, Lin Jia.”

I smile at her, “You too, Sun.”

The shocked look in his eyes is all I need to confirm my suspicion before I jump down. Laughter follows me, the voice changing from it’s higher pitch to a lower one as his spirit shifts back into his normal self.

The hatch closes behind us, and I hear the shelf being pushed back into place. We’re surrounded by darkness for a moment, and I whistle softly to add light with my qi.

The two girls start moving as soon as we have the light and we hurry further into the tunnel.

Above us, we hear the faint sounds of screams and fighting. I do my best to ignore it, instead following the tunnel deeper.

A crashing sound echoes out, and what I thought to be a wall burst open, revealing a group of cultivators in Qi Awakening, their clothes covered in blood. They stare for only a moment before they run at the three of us.

My blade leaves its sheathe, meeting the blade of another cultivator. I twist out of the way of a throwing dagger as it goes by my head. I can’t switch my song without losing the light, so I rely on my movement to duck around the blade and slice through the neck of the first man. A second man swings at me, only for his blade to slow as he is covered in ice. My blade goes through his chest a second later.

The last man dies a second later, six bodies lying in the dirt.

The three of us pause for breath, and I see a line of red going down Xia Jing’s sword arm. She notices my look and shakes her head at me, telling me it’s fine.

We continue deeper into the tunnels, and are let out into a small beach hidden by the walls of a cave. A river boat is docked on the sand.

A large bearded man lifts his lantern from the boat, examining us, then nods. “Hurry on then, and we’ll be off.”

We don’t need more prompting to hop on the boat, and I stop whistling, the lantern light plenty to see by.

I stop the man before he unties the rope holding his boat to the shore.

“We’re waiting for one more.” I say.

“The waters are going to be dangerous enough at night.” The man mutters. “Best to leave while they’re distracted by sacking the city.”

“I can hide our escape, but we have to wait.” I say.

He looks into my eyes, then nods. “Ten minutes.”

I turn my gaze to the tunnels.

We quiet, the sounds of the fighting still echoing through the city to us.

A dragging sound makes its way through the tunnel and my spirit sense is filled with the feelings of hunger and death.

My breath catches as a woman steps out of the tunnel, dragging the body of one of the cultivators we’d killed. Her aura extends, showing the prowess of a cultivator in Core Formation. “I’d had such high hopes for this one.” She says, throwing the body towards us, “Then you had to kill him.”

I jump from the boat, my feet sinking into the water. I draw my sword and bring her attention to me. Shia twists around my waist in anticipation.

She raises an eyebrow, “Brave, but you should know when to bow to your betters.”

I spread my feet and lift my sword, adapting the First Song: Dance of the brook to The Movements Of The Ruinous Dragon, “I’ve killed more of your kind then I can count, Demon.”

Lai Ming and Xia Jing join me in the water a second later.

The woman looks over the three of us calmly. “No, I don’t think you’ve fought someone like me.”

Qi rushes from her, filling the cave with its dark presence. Then the dead man in front of her decomposes, turning into a mass of blood and flesh that circles around the woman. Shards of bone fly forward towards us, only to be met by walls of Earth and Ice.

I flow forward, my sword slicing for the woman’s neck.

She blocks the strike with a dagger made of bone, then strikes towards my neck with a second dagger of bone.

I twist around the strike, but she nicks my neck, drawing blood. Qi and dark spirit invades my flesh, making me freeze.

A second dagger makes it’s way towards me, only for her to pull back as a spear of ice pierces the spot she’d been standing.

Xia Jing and Lai Ming attack the woman, both their blades caught by daggers as she dances around them. The demon waves her hand and shards of blood and bone fly towards me.

Shia’s spirit floods my body, devouring the concoction poisoning me, and I jump back, avoiding the shards.

“Her blades are poisoned!” I call out to the other girls. Then I draw breath.

The First Requiem: Field Of Blood

Rivers of blood flow under our feet as an army of warriors surround us.

The woman smiles, her qi suffusing the illusion.

The blood of the illusion moves, striking through the heart of every warrior in the illusion, only two men avoiding the death caused by her control over flesh.

I cough up blood, stopping the song, the illusion disappearing. The First Disciple meets my eyes, and mouths something to me before he too disappears.

Annihilation.

I fall to the floor and gasp for air at the complete dismantlement of my illusion. I’d never experienced someone do that by controlling the illusion before. At least it tells me one thing. In order to control it, she had to believe it.

The first disciple recommended the eleventh requiem, but am I ready for that? I hesitate, blood dribbling down my lips.

A cry makes me look up to my sister disciples.

The woman pierces Xia Jing’s stomach, the bone of her dagger sticking out of her back.

My world stops.

The dagger is pulled, and Xia Jing falls to the ground. Lai Ming’s sword blocks a followup strike from the woman, and ice covers the room as Lai Ming screams.

I pull in my breath, not caring about any of my hesitations as I call upon all the qi and spirit within me. My flute is pulled from my robes and placed to my mouth.

Eleventh Requiem: Annihilation

Everyone freezes as the pressure of the requiem settles in on the world. A look of fear fills the woman’s eyes, and suddenly she’s in front of me.

The first note brings her to her knees.

I hold her eyes, as she stares at me wide eyed.

The second note rips her open.

The third note ripples through her, and removes her from this plane.

The fourth brings her back.

My flute falls to the floor, the requiem ending. She stares at me, not seeing me as her mouth is held open in true terror.

I use the last of my strength to draw my sword, and cut off her head.

Then I collapse to the floor. My eyes looking into her dead ones.

Shia leaves my robes, her mouth opening wide to devour the body of the demon.

A familiar male voice yells out, quickly shifting into an upper register as a calming and healing spirit wraps around me.

I look into the distance, to see Xia Jing’s chest slowly rising and falling, then my eyes close.