Swaquen 20th, Magpie Era 152,

Hi! My best friend gave me this diary for my 50th demon birthday. To be honest, I don’t know what to write, she said to introduce myself so that’s what I’ll do.

My name is Charlie Gulmarith. My parents are dyers in Outer-Alvoort. It stinks like a stable in here but it’s mostly the dyes we use. I like a lot of things: dyeing with my parents, running around town for errands, going to the Rose to darn the drag queens’ and kings’ costumes, learn about Dunya’s spells as she learns them, and most of all, running in the fields after a tiring day and listen to Joseph’s newest song. He performs at the Rose almost every day, he plays the lyre and, to be honest, it looks very much handmade, although he never told me where he got it. He’s the first blue demon I’ve ever seen. Here, all demons are some shades of pinks and sometimes reds. I’m a red demon, like my parents, my horns are pretty small and black unlike what the others have, which just look like a ram’s, but Joseph’s go back toward the back of his head and curl back up, I find them much prettier than mine to be honest.

Braen 45th, Magpie Era 152,

Dunya called me last night to help her, she had her first delivery. To be honest, it is terrifying. She was much more trained than I was, I mean, she vowed to Brehena, the cû goddess of fertility. I expected everything but this, I mostly held the young woman’s hand and patted her head with a cold rag, while Dunya was doing her magic. She couldn’t keep the woman’s pain away for as long as she wanted, but she delivered her baby safely.

Braen 47th, Magpie Era 152,

Joseph brought me to the fields again, like always, but this time he had the night off. He had prepared everything; he put a blanket down, brought some food, he even put some lanterns down around us. My heart was beating like never before and I think I even blushed. Oh, my gods, I blushed.

Asen 2nd, Magpie Era 152

Talking with Joseph has been awkward lately. I don’t know if I’m making it awkward or if he is, but it’s definitely happening. I talked about it with Dunya and she just laughed at me. She told me it was love. My parents did the same when I told them. I don’t think it is. Is it?

Asen 10th, Magpie Era 152

We did it. He invited me over to the fields again, and we did it. I mean, I’d done it with other people before him, but this time it felt different, it just felt right, like it was supposed to happen. Dunya and my parents were right, it is love. I can’t believe I’m still giggling like a child about it.

Anden 37th, Magpie Era 153

The new year has barely begun and bad news is already spreading. I’ve heard that male demons are getting recruited more and more. Some talk about a war with the Sheyja kingdom in the East. Some eastern witches have been recruited too, but not much. I’m happy Dunya and her mother can’t take part in this. They are still searching for volunteers but that feeling in my stomach tells me it will not last long. What will happen if they take my father? He has done no pilgrimage to know how to unlock his magic, he’s just a dyer and has been happy that way for decades.

Anden 40th, Magpie Era 153

Joseph tried to ease my pain a little, but it only made me more scared. He’s found his catalyst, he was so proud of it. He played his lyre and sang the most beautiful love song I’ve ever heard him sing. And then it happened, the sound from his lyre warped the air and the surrounding flowers bloomed. Spirits flew around him and seemed to dance to the sound of his lyre. I was amazed but I couldn’t help the growing fear in me. I have to talk to him about it.

Elephen 2nd, Magpie Era 153

We had a fight. Not that it’s the first one, but this one is going to be difficult to come back from. We can usually calm down and talk about things but this time, he doesn’t want to listen to me. I told him to hide his magic, that no one could ever learn about it, not even Dunya or anyone else. He got angry, he said he had felt it in him the moment he touched his lyre but could never find the right feeling, and now that he had it he was supposed to forget about it because I feared it being discovered. I couldn't even answer, it tied my throat in a knot. I could only cry. I hate when my throat does that. Because I couldn’t answer, he walked away. I wish I could just go back in time and tell him why I’m scared.

Elephen 26th, Magpie Era 153

They did it. They proclaimed they would take all male demons in to fight against the Sheyja kingdom. My father left this morning. He hugged us and told us how much he loved us and then walked away with the soldiers. When I came out to tell him goodbye one last time, Joseph was being taken. He was screaming and spitting and his lyre was on the floor, smashed to pieces. I wanted to run toward him but my mother blocked me. I fell on my knees and cried. He called out to me as they dragged him away in the carriage my father had just jumped in. He shouted he loved me and that he would be back. He promised it.

Amaen 15th, Magpie Era 153,

I want to run away. I want to run wherever he is and bring him back here. It’s been months and I haven’t heard from him or my father. The rumors from the battlefields are getting worse and worse. Villages near the border have been destroyed and giant beasts of flesh and bones have been roaming around, killing anyone in sight. I can’t bring myself to even think of it. They wouldn’t do that. Our emperor wouldn’t do that, would he? He must know. Someone must’ve told him about it. He can’t let that happen. Not under his watch. Please, tell me it’s a lie.

Ikeden 29th, Magpie Era 153,

He finally came back, my Joseph came back! I held him so tight when I saw him on the other side of the door. He looks so pale and thin. Last night, he couldn’t sleep so he climbed through my window and stayed in my bed, and he cried until he fell asleep, I’ve never seen him like this.

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Ikeden 37th, Magpie Era 153,

Joseph has been staying at my house since the first night he came back. He hasn’t moved much, he stays in bed all day. It doesn't bother me but it worries me a lot. He barely eats anything I bring him and at night, when we’re together, he wakes up screaming names I’ve never heard before. My mother says it’s going to take time before he’s on his feet again.

Anden 36th, Magpie Era 154,

Last night he finally told me. I haven’t pressed him on what had happened, but he felt it was time for him to say it. My worst fears were confirmed. They did the unthinkable. Joseph told me how they tortured them until they couldn’t take it anymore. That’s how they made them enter their bestial form, then they would “free” them and let them kill anyone they saw on the battlefield. They repeated the process until all they had to do was show a weapon and they would spontaneously enter their bestial forms. Some, like my father, went mad because of it, and started attacking Dobrin soldiers and officers. They executed him, but he was one of so many others. That night, we held each other, he held me tight while I cried, he kept apologizing, probably thinking I couldn’t hear him. My mother must never know what happened.

Elephen 36th, Magpie Era 154,

The Counsel, under order of the emperor, has demoted every demon. More and more people have been living in Outer-Alvoort and demons of all shapes and colors flooded the brothel district. Joseph, my mother, and I have been giving them food and clothing while the inns and the taverns have been giving them a place to sleep in. The carpenters from other districts are trying to build them houses. My insides are knotted, I can only wait and see. Joseph has been helping the carpenters too but his attitude became, well, something else. He’s angry most of the time or frustrated. I try to comfort him or at least calm him down a little but it feels like all this is doing is worsening his state. I should go see Dunya, I haven’t seen her since Joseph came back.

Elephen 37th, Magpie Era 154

I saw Dunya today, she was monitoring the new demons’ children. They were mostly scared, they had been thrown out of their homes without a warning. Some were playing but their smiles didn’t look right, others talked about wars further out of Alvoort and its bad suburbs. I told her how my relationship with Joseph was going and it did not surprise her in the least, he had every reason to be angry. She said that I should too, but the fear in me is preventing me from it. It’s paralyzing. Dunya also said something to me I could never expect. She took one good look at me and she asked me when was the time I bled.

I don’t want to give birth in these times, what if there’s no future for our child? What if they grow up alone and scared? Should I even tell Joseph?

Elephen 42nd, Magpie Era 154,

I told Joseph. First, he cried of joy and hugged me, before his tears turned into sobs. I knew he’s always dreamed of a family. My mother cried too, but she walked away after a few minutes to go to her bedroom. After a few moments with Joseph I joined her, she was kneeling in front of my father’s altar, praying, telling him the good news and how scared she was. She just wished he had come home too. I prayed next to her.

Swaquen 3rd, Magpie Era 154,

Soldiers have come to the district, they are yelling orders left and right. Joseph doesn’t want to come out of the house anymore, his eyes keep getting lost in some sort of nothingness, he barely answers when he’s like this.

Swaquen 19th, Magpie Era 154,

Joseph has been sneaking out at night lately. I don't know where he goes, but if he wanted me to know, he’d tell me.

Braen 4th, Magpie Era 154,

Joseph has been running away during the day too now. He says soldiers don’t scare him anymore and I’m scared for him. What if they catch him after the curfew and someone finds his body in the streets?

Braen 49th, Magpie Era 154,

Oliver, the son of a woman Dunya helped, was hanged today. He looked at a soldier the wrong way and apparently it is an offense to the Emperor himself now. He was 19 demon years old. Still a child. The soldiers have beaten off anyone that tries to get his body off of the post they made for it.

Braen 50th, Magpie Era 154,

Someone took Oliver's body down during the night, and a falcon has been painted on the post. I don’t know if I should be hopeful or terrified.

Asen 12th, Magpie Era 154,

My mother has put me on bedrest, she says I shouldn’t move so much or work while my baby is still growing. Dunya says she’s a bit over dramatic but she understands, demons only have one child per partner so, if it’s not this one then I’ll never have another with Joseph, I need to be careful.

Asen 30th, Magpie Era 154,

Joseph has been coming to see me. He has a glint of hope in his eyes that I thought I’d never see again. He’s smiling again, he says the Falcons will save us, that they will end our mistreatment. I want to believe it, but more and more people get hung up every day.

Amaen 45th, Magpie Era 154,

I asked Dunya to do some divination for the baby, she said the baby would live a long and healthy life and that nothing bad will happen to it. She lied, I know it, I’ve known her for ages and I can tell when she does. I just smiled and thanked her.

Earenden 56th, Magpie Era 154,

Joseph and I talked about names for the baby, he’s sure it’s going to be a boy but I’m not. He wanted to call them Balthazar, like his father but, with all the respect I have for him, I’m not letting him do that. I will not have a child whose nickname is Balthy or something like that. We came to an agreement on the name Jesse. It’s masculine but can also be feminine and pretty in between if the baby ever is. Jesse… I like it.

Earenden 65th, Magpie Era 154,

The council has banished falcon symbols. Anyone proven or even suspected to side with the Falcons or be a part of them will be executed. Soldier’s have been raiding people’s houses because of this. I hear their screams in the night. Where is Joseph?

Ikeden 23rd, Magpie Era 154,

Dunya is requesting that I have the most rest possible since I could be due any day now. Joseph hasn’t been around as much. I’m terrified.

Ikeden 26th, Magpie Era 154,

Early this morning, Jesse was born. I am so proud. He looks just like his father. His skin is purple and his hair is almost white, but I’m sure it’ll darken overtime. My mother has been taking care of him when I’m exhausted. I wish Joseph would have been here, but he was there later in the day. He took Jesse in his arms and lulled him to sleep. He admired our son for hours.

Dear Jesse,

I hear them now. They’re coming for us. Your father and I might not be there when you grow up but, hopefully, my mother, your grand-mother, has brought you to a safer place. I would’ve loved to see you grow up, to see you with your horns fully grown out, to see your first love, your first friends, and your first steps. I hope you can forgive us, we did the best we could. If you ever need help, go to Dunya, she’ll know what to do.

Never forget how much you are loved and how much we’re proud of you, even if we’re not there to show it.

With all our love,

Joseph and Charlie