Winter passed as it always did. But now, Dyla's usual spot curled against Bryn was taken by Lyra and Fenrin. She tried to hint to Bryn that they should begin to sleep in their own rooms but he would not have it.
By the time the frost melted away, the twins were toddling around the estate. Dyla watched them digging into the soft garden soil, piling the leaves, rocks, and occasional worm into a pile. Bryn came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, she reached up and held it. They watched silently for another moment until Bryn rumbled, "It is almost time to go."
Her grip tightened slightly but she said nothing. Bryn continued, "I want you with me."
Dyla stiffened. She did not want to choose between Bryn and the twins, but he surprised her again. "Fenrin as well."
"And Lyra?"
"She will stay here with Ulris. She is not as strong as the boy."
Dyla frowned. It was true that Lyra was a bit smaller. She had caught the fever during the winter and although it had broken quickly, her appetite had been affected. She ate less and was quickly outpaced by her twin. Dyla watched as Lyra carefully shifted the thorny rose branches and reached into the bush, removing a snail shell to her brother's delight. The girl was clever.
But cleverness came second in the wilds.
"When will we return, my lord?" Dyla asked, trying to mask her anxiety.
"Midsummer."
Dyla breathed a sigh of relief. A four month trip was much more preferable over the usual eight. "When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow."
Heart tight, that night Dyla did not mind the children as they snuggled between their parents. When she woke early and packed their bags, she cried silently at her children, their little arms entwined. But when Bryn and the children awoke, her eyes were cleared and the bags were ready.
Carefully, Dyla tucked Fenrin's feet into his shoes and double checked his jacket ties. Fenrin looked at her quizzically and then back at his sister, still in her nightdress.
"Going?"
"Yes, Fen. You're coming to the woods with Bryn and I."
"Ly?"
"No, not Lyra. She's staying here with Ulris."
His little brows furrowed but he stood obediently when she stepped away. Then she turned to Lyra who had toddled over and grabbed her shoes. Bryn swept her up, gently taking the shoes and dropping them to the floor. Her bright eyes flicked at her father angrily.
"Shoe."
"Lyra, you stay with Ulris."
"Shoe!"
Bryn handed Lyra to the steward who held her tight as she tried to wriggle free. "Shoe! Shoe!"
Dyla couldn't help herself, she stepped forward and placed a hand on her face. "Be good, Lyra. We'll be back."
Lyra knocked her mother's hand away now fully screaming. Dyla turned to Ulris. "Take care of her." The man gave her a solemn nod.
Quickly, Dyla took Fenrin's hand and shuffled him out, Bryn following behind. Her hand was shaking and Fenrin kept looking back at the house, his round face concerned. "Ly no shoe?"
Bryn answered, "No, son, but look at the trees."
Fenrin was quickly distracted by the wonders of the forest he had never entered. He babbled and pointed from atop Bryn's shoulder. Dyla walked behind silently.
They travelled west. As Bryn sensed opportunity, he would tuck Fenrin into his fur cloak and hand him to Dyla. They would wait until Bryn returned with his ill-gotten gold and goods. Fenrin would giggle as he played with the shiny coins. But for the first few weeks, at night Fenrin would cry. He would call out for Lyra until Bryn's stern growl silenced him. Slowly, Fenrin got used to having one less body to snuggle up against and begin to sleep peacefully once more.
By the time summer had arrived, Fenrin was walking confidently. Scrambling over rocks and twigs, only occasionally falling. He seemed to always have some cut or bruise but also a grin on his face. He helped where he could, carrying small sticks next to Bryn's logs, stacking the coins as Bryn counted and added them to his chest, or washing himself in the occasional stream. Bryn watched him proudly and Dyla smiled but half her heart was back in Hjor.
When Bryn announced it was time to head back, Dyla squeezed Fenrin's hand and he looked up. "Back?"
"Back to Lyra."
Fenrin looked down at his feet. "Give Ly shoes?"
Dyla didn't answer.
As they grew closer to the estate, the hot summer sun tiring Fenrin and making him more often on Bryn's shoulder than his feet, Dyla walked faster. She didn't see Bryn studying her, she didn't notice the way he took longer to get the firewood, or when he began walking behind her instead of at her side.
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When they arrived at Hjor, Fenrin wriggled down from Bryn's shoulder, recognizing the road. He ran down it and Dyla followed. Bryn waited a moment, watching before following. Dyla grabbed Fenrin's hand and pulled him to the estate gates. They spotted Ulris in the garden, checking over his book. He looked up and rose with a smile on his face.
"Welcome home, master Fenrin. Welcome home, my lady." Bryn rounded the corner and Ulris bowed. "Welcome back, sir."
Suddenly cautious, Dyla opened the gate and looked around. Lyra was watering a plant with a small tin can. When she saw Dyla she ran over. "Momma!"
Dyla swept her up and held her tight. She was wearing a simple yellow dress and her hair had grown long enough to be put in a small braid.
Fenrin tugged on Dyla and she hefted him up as well. The twins begin talking to each other and quickly, Lyra wriggled down to show Fenrin how to water the plants.
Ulris walked up beside Dyla and whispered, "She is fine. She slept poorly after you left but became accustomed to her bed. She missed you."
Dyla nodded, not taking her eyes off the twins. Ulris noticed the dark look on Bryn's face and stepped away from Dyla, watching the man carefully.
Bryn's grey eyes travelled from the twins back to Dyla and then to Ulris, who he gestured to follow him. The master and his steward went to Bryn's office where Bryn lowered himself into the large red chair and Ulris stood respectfully in front of the large oak desk.
"How is the estate?"
Ulris opened his book, though more for appearances. He had this speech well planned. "Construction continues on schedule. With the final addition to be finished by the month's end."
"Good."
There was a long pause and Bryn's fingers rubbed his jaw. Ulris sighed internally, it would be a long summer if Bryn was frustrated or unhappy. He snapped the book shut. "How was your travels, sir? Would you like an early dinner?"
Bryn scowled and he stood up. "No. I'm going out."
Ulris bowed, hoping he hadn't stirred up trouble. Bryn stalked past and exited out the north entrance, avoiding the garden. Dyla's gentle laugh trickled from the entryway and Ulris went to help with the family's resettling.
At dinner, Dyla waited for Bryn. The staff served the meal and Fenrin and Lyra tucked in eagerly. Dyla did not touch her food. Her smile slowly fading as Bryn failed to appear. When the servants took away the twins’ plates and hovered by Dyla, she nodded stiffly for them to take it.
Without any cues from parents, the twin were soon playing around the table, ducking under and knocking each other over. Dyla stayed still until finally Ulris stepped into the room. He saw the rambunctious twins and the pale Dyla. "My lady, would you like me to have Nelly put the children to bed?"
"Yes," Dyla breathed, and Nelly, awaiting the cue herded the children out. Ulris moved forward to stand by Dyla's side. They waited in silence for another hour until Dyla whispered, "Where is he, Ulris?"
"I do not know, my lady. But I urge you to get some rest."
Dyla shook her head slowly. Then she stood and walked carefully out of the room. Ulris followed as a respectable distance and waited in the hall when she entered her and Bryn's bedroom. He was just hoping she had decided to rest when she emerged wearing a blue cloak and a small pack. "I'm going out, Ulris. Watch the children."
Ulris swallowed his objections and watched as she strode down the hall and out of the estate.
Dyla's sharp green eyes flicked around the house calculating. She set out behind the estate, exiting the town the long way, around the Jarl's manor. She walked into the darkness, following the river. She walked knowing if Bryn did not wish to be found she would not find him. She walked praying she would see his large form in the darkness. She walked knowing she was the cause of his leaving.
She found him perched on the top of a grassy hill overlooking the river, appearing like a boulder in the darkness. She stopped at the bottom of the hill, waiting anxiously. Finally he spoke, "Woman, why are you here?"
"Because you are not happy, my lord."
There was a soft grumble and she couldn't tell if it was a chuckle or a groan. After a moment of hesitation, she climbed the hill and stood beside him.
"I cannot stay here," he said, his voice low and steady.
She sat down beside him. "I know."
"And you cannot leave."
She tried to deny it but the words caught in her throat. At her silence he sighed. Suddenly, he turned to her, his sharp grey eyes glistening in the starlight, like an owl. His hand rose and he placed in on her chest, where the silver bear was holding the cloak together. "I want you."
"I am here." She leaned into him but his hand held her back.
"No, you are not." She stiffened. He groaned and removed his hand. "I want to go south. The wilds here are too tame, I am too strong for them."
It was an invitation and she grabbed his hand, clutching it to her. "Please, my lord, do not do this. Do not make me choose." Her voice caught in a sob and angrily he tore his hand away. He stood, his eyes flashing in the dark and locking her in place.
"Then do not choose," he spat and walked into the darkness. She dared not follow, but watched him go, clutching the bear pendant.
Ulris's search parties found her in the morning, wrapped tightly in her blue cloak, alone on the grass.
When Dyla awoke, she refused food. She lay on her bed, clutching the blue cloak close to her. She sent away Ulris, Nelly, and even the twins. At noon her wailing sobs could be heard across the manor. They died down throughout the day and at last she emerged as the nanny was putting the twins to bed.
Without a word, she took them both from the woman and brought them to her room. That night she held them close and whispered to them the story of Bryn and Dyla. Long after they were asleep she told them about their journey through the wilds, the mountains they climbed, the wonders they saw together, and the long journey to find a place Bryn could call home.
Tension filled the estate the next few days as the servants gossiped about what had happened, wondering if Bryn would return. Some feared Dyla would do harm to herself and the children but she simply went about the day mechanically. Eating her meals and watching the children play, only smiling when the twins showed her their latest treasure.
On the third day after Bryn left, Nelly entered the bedroom to clean and found Dyla wearing the blue cloak and a well worn green dress. She stammered an apology and without thinking asked, "Are you going after the master, my lady?"
Dyla sighed and removed the cloak, folding it slowly. She placed it in a drawer and reverently put the silver bear atop it.
"No," she answered, "I cannot leave. If I leave he will never come back."
Nelly didn't understand this logic, wondering how Bryn would ever even know if his wife had stayed or not and if it even mattered, but she bit her tongue. Dyla looked determined and when she left the room, she walked with purpose and not dazed as she had been the days before.
Walking into the gardens, Dyla turned to look at the estate. She clenched her fists. This was Bryn's home, he had chosen it and built it of his own wish. He would not stay away forever and when he returned she would be here for him. If she could not be by his side, she would guard and watch over his home.