"You want action, right?" the voice echoed, ethereal and mocking.

"Yeah, I already told your Godliness, I’m tired of being a shopkeeper," I retorted, my voice revealing my sarcasm. I hoped the deity wouldn’t take offense.

"Well, as you wish," the God smiled wickedly, his grin sending a shiver down my spine.

"No, wait…" My protest was cut short as darkness enveloped me, swallowing my consciousness whole.

I woke up with my head spinning, enveloped in a smelly, viscous liquid that clung to my skin like a second disgusting layer. It took me a moment to reorient myself, to process the dimly lit surroundings. Weak sunlight filtered through a gap resembling a cave entrance.

"That damn God tricked me again," I muttered under my breath. I had asked for a normal fantasy adventure, but where had He dumped me this time?

Frantically, I reached for my equipment but found nothing. Not a ring, not a weapon. Not even a simple pendant. "Fuck! I'm done!" I cursed aloud, my voice echoing off the damp cave walls.

Then, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was standing on eggs. Huge, gargantuan eggs, covered in a layer of amniotic fluid that now adorned my clothes. What kind of beast lays such enormous eggs? A sense of dread washed over me. "No! He didn't!" I whispered, the horror of my situation dawning on me.

Scrambling out of the broken shell mess, I didn't give a damn about my image or anything else. My only thought: to get the hell out of there before...

That's when I heard it. A roar so deafening it sent my whole body shaking, my legs giving out and dropping me to my knees. It's here!

Desperately, I tried to crawl away, but the damn eggshells were everywhere, hindering my escape. Then it appeared at the cave's opening — a massive, fire-scale dragon, probably the mother of the eggs I'd just vandalized.

"You call this a favor?" I muttered to myself in disbelief. "Is this someone's idea of a fucking favor?" I couldn't help the sarcastic snort. A beginner’s safe point in a quaint village would've been nice, but no, that deceptive God had to drop me straight into the boss level!

"Oh, my floating knife," I lamented. "I could really use you right now!"

"Sorry! It wasn’t my fault, I swear!" I yelled at the dragon, which glared at me with eyes filled with pure hatred. Obviously, it disagreed.

But I wasn't about to stick around and plead mercy. Changing direction, I increased my mad crawl through the sea of broken shells, heading the opposite way. ‘It won't just blast everything with firebreath, right?’ The thought raced through my mind. ‘It wouldn’t sacrifice the rest of its eggs just to kill me, would it?’ But deep down, I knew better than to underestimate the wrath of a mother dragon.

I bolted, my feet slipping and sliding on the remnants of the eggshells, deeper into the cave. This is a stupid idea, I thought, my brain screaming at me to choose a better path. But really, where else could I escape? Once cornered, it's game over.

It didn't matter, though. Adrenaline and sheer terror propelled me forward, deeper into what I realized was the beast's lair. And then I saw it – a glimmer in the darkness. Gold, jewels, and artifacts scattered around. "Thank God!" I blurted in exasperation under my panting. Not that God, obviously, I corrected.

Artifacts, those I could use. No time to enchant them, though. I'd asked for adventure, sure, but this was borderline suicidal. Can I go back now? I wondered, not really expecting any divine intervention.

The dragon's growls echoed behind me, seething with hatred. Sure, I might have inadvertently killed its offspring, but come on, it wasn't exactly my fault. I was portaled right into this mess. "Go breathe fire on that divine trickster," I screamed, wishing the dragon could redirect its anger.

The cave narrowed, leading me to a dead end. Of course, there were no other exits. Why would a dragon need more than one way in?

Scrambling through the treasure, I desperately searched for something, anything, that could be enchanted quickly. A small, ridiculously useful artifact would do. My heart hammered in my chest, not built for this kind of adrenaline-fueled excitement. I'm not cut out for this kind of action, I thought, a bit resentfully. What about a nice, gradual introduction to adventuring?

But no, life never did like making things easy for me.

The fire-breathing behemoth was drawing nearer, the heat in the room rising to almost unbearable levels. It probably hadn't attacked yet because it wanted to protect its treasure. It knew I was weak, that it didn't need to unleash its fiery breath. Just one swipe of those colossal claws would be enough to shatter my fragile human bones.

"Human! You dare to invade and desecrate my lair?" The dragon's voice boomed, resonating off the walls of the cave.

"It wasn’t my fault, I was portaled into here!" I retorted with indignation.

"Audacious! You still dare to make excuses. I’ll make your end an eternal suffering," it threatened, its voice a low growl that made me feel even weaker.

"Fuck! Fuck," I cursed under my breath, my mind racing. There I was, an engineer turned involuntary shopkeeper turned voluntary adventurer, facing off against a dragon in a scenario no amount of practical thinking had prepared me for.

In a desperate scramble, I darted between the heaps of treasure, each pile large enough and spaced just so, to allow the massive dragon room to maneuver. My eyes flicked across the hoard, settling on a silver-coated spear gleaming in the dim light. Nope, my mind was calculating rapidly. I can’t enchant it fast enough or powerfully enough to take out a dragon.

"Help me, help me," I pleaded, half to myself, half to any unseen force that might be listening as I rifled through the items in a nearby pile. The dragon's growing anger was almost palpable, each growl reverberating through the cavern as it watched me sift through its belongings.

Then, my eyes caught a glimpse of something – a mirror. A golden-framed, gem-encrusted mirror that sparkled even in the faint light. For a moment, I was distracted by the thought of the fortune those gems would fetch. No, focus, Alan! I chided myself. Escaping and surviving, remember?

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I lunged for the mirror, grabbing it just as the dragon let out a thunderous roar. With the mirror in hand, I dashed behind a pile of what looked like ancient tomes. Each book seemed like a treasure in itself, likely filled with precious magic. Such a pity… A pang of regret hit me. But survival was the key. Focus! I reminded myself again, clutching the mirror tightly, hoping against hope that it would be my ticket out of this fiery nightmare.

Hunkering down behind the ancient tomes, I tried to muster all my concentration. This was going to need every ounce of my focus.

"Little human rat! You can't hide from me here. First, I'll skin you alive. Don’t worry, I know how to keep you from dying too soon." The dragon's voice, dripping with malice, echoed closer than I liked.

Great, the dragon was toying with me, and it was working, chipping away at my focus. But I couldn't let it get to me. I just needed to enchant the mirror with something simple. It was going to be a half-assed job, sure, but it didn't matter if the enchantment broke after a few uses. I just needed it to work once.

I rifled through my memories, trying to find the right piece of technology. Nothing too fancy or advanced, just something simple that could give me a fighting chance. And then it hit me - a holographic projector with a camera, a prototype I remembered from a technology fair. And this cave, with its poor lighting, was the perfect setting for a bit of lighting trickery.

With my plan hastily forming, I began the enchantment, praying that my oversimplistic solution would be enough to fool a dragon.

Clutching the mirror tightly, I focused solely on the holographic prototype, letting the chaos around me blur into the background. My heart pounded like a drum in my chest, not exactly helping with the concentration. But I'd done enchantments like this countless times before. The familiar green smoke began to swirl around the mirror, and mentally, I commanded, Combine!

"What are you doing there, little rat? Don’t pretend that you can do anything. I know your ilk can be shady," the dragon taunted, its voice nearing menacingly.

As the smoke vanished, I knew it had worked. Quickly, I activated the enchantment and positioned the mirror, praying it wouldn't fall or fail.

In the shadowy confines of the cave, amidst the piles of treasures, I saw it - a projection of myself. It was incredibly detailed, though slightly too translucent to be real, standing in the opposite direction like a reflection.

I couldn't help but smile, relief and pride washing over me. Moving slowly, I prepared to leave the hideout. Peeking out, I saw the dragon moving leisurely. It knew where I was but seemed to enjoy toying with its prey. In a moment of risky improvisation, I nudged a silver plate off a shelf, letting it crash to the ground with a loud clatter. "Damn it!" I cursed out loud, trying to sound as if I'd made an accidental noise.

"Got you, little rat!" The dragon's voice boomed with malicious glee as it moved towards me.

Taking a deep breath to steady my racing heart, I gave a nod to my holographic double and, in a bold move, pushed over an entire section of ancient coins and metal trinkets. The resulting cacophony of clattering and clanking sounds filled the cavern, masking my hurried footsteps.

In a perfectly synchronized moment, both I and my shimmering reflection dashed off in opposite directions. The dragon, towering over the pile of treasures, was momentarily fooled by the chaos. It saw my reflection, roaring out a string of draconic profanities, and chased after the image.

It worked, I did it! I screamed internally, adrenaline surging as I sprinted away. But my triumph was short-lived. The dragon's enraged scream echoed through the cave, and I couldn't resist the urge to glance back.

There it was, the massive creature swiping its claws through the holographic projection in confusion and frustration. Its movements were so violent that they sent shockwaves through the room. And then, my heart sank as I saw the mirror sway and... crash to the ground.

Without wasting a second, I resumed my run, pushing myself faster than ever. The dragon's growls and profanities thundered behind me as it resumed its pursuit. I was nearing the eggs again. Only two remained intact, one of them visibly cracked. The situation was rapidly spiraling beyond control, and I knew I had to be faster.

Dodging the remaining eggs, I sprinted ahead. Finally, being the smaller guy pays off! I thought, a hint of wry humor in my mind even in the face of danger.

The dragon was in a fury behind me, the air crackling with heat. Oh, fuck! I realized as a wave of searing fire scorched my back, almost melting my clothes. Why? Did it sacrifice the remaining eggs just out of spite?

Then, suddenly, the pressure wave from the fire pushed the heated air ahead of the actual flames, launching me out of the cave in what could only be described as an embarrassing imitation of flight.

Flight? Uh, was I actually flying? The thought made me terrified. No, no! This is a cave on the side of a mountain. Now, I’m really screwed. Escaping the lair of one of the most dangerous monsters just to become a smudge on the ground. Great!

Panic set in for a split second before I forced myself to focus on another crazy, seemingly impossible way to survive. Time seemed to slow down around me. I was still being propelled at an ascending angle, giving me a few precious moments before gravity would inevitably pull me down. The speed at which I was launched from the cave could be a problem, or a blessing if I managed to survive, because it meant landing far from the raging beast.

Focus, Alan' I commanded myself. Okay, use your power, enchant something on the fly! I felt the urge to laugh. No puns, not now! My mind raced, desperately searching for any solution that could save me from becoming a human pancake.

Thank the gods my grubby hands swiped a few treasures from the lair, I thought, plummeting through the air. Who knew kleptomania could come in handy? Among the items I'd grabbed, gems and gold medals were useless right now. But an ancient tome with powerful magic? Hell, yeah!

Already starting to descend, time was not on my side. Ignoring the part of me that fantasized about selling the tome for a fortune, I hastily unwrapped it. Thankfully, it was lengthy enough for my hastily hatched plan.

The actual enchantment was a stretch of my abilities. I imagined a modern contraption, something not typically seen as advanced technology, but effective nonetheless. 'It works if it works, I reasoned. The tome wasn’t wide enough to serve as a parachute, but its length might just make for a makeshift glider.

Quickly, I conjured up the image of a modern glider, complete with cloth wings and an aerodynamically smart design. I focused on the technological aspects that made it glide efficiently. Hey, power, do you have any idea how much knowledge went into creating the improved materials and perfect shape for this thing? I argued internally. That's advanced, okay?

This was how my combine power worked; it needed a justification to summon the technological effect of an Earth device. I wasn't entirely sure this would work. Even with understanding, enchantments could fail. But technically, I had everything I needed here.

The green smoke whirled around the tome, defying the raging wind that threatened to tear it away. Please work, I silently begged, fearing it might fail. But then, as if answering my silent plea, the smoke vanished, leaving the tome transformed. It worked. The pull was immediate, nearly yanking the enchanted tome from my grasp. Good thing I was already holding it like a glider.

My descent morphed into a downward-angled glide. Struggling to angle it less steeply, I gradually managed to direct my descent.

Then, the first tree hit, its branches scraping against my side. "Damn!" I gritted my teeth, struggling to maintain my grip on the gliding tome. No, not that way, I mentally urged, trying to veer to the right. But the tome was stubborn, not responding quickly enough.

Branches whipped and scratched at me as I hurtled through them. There was no time for curses; I was plunging deeper into the dense foliage. The leaves and branches slowed my glide until, inevitably, the tome was ripped away by a branch, and I fell.

The ground rushed up to meet me, and the impact sent a spike of pain through my back. "No!" I groaned, wincing as I tried to move. Everything was going so right... The pain was intense, but I was alive, and that was something. I have to look on the bright side. It worked, and I'm alive. I escaped.

Then, from a distance, came the roar of anger. Oops, maybe I spoke too soon. It was the dragon, furious and far, but still too close for comfort. Maybe it'll think I died? Just maybe?