"Please, mama bear! Don't persist in doing this. There's no justice I will have on this. I want compassion! I'm getting a lawyer, I'm using my rights, and I will file an appeal. Justice for the children who have experienced being badly treated by their parents!" I raised my right hand with a solid fist. I am almost shouting while complaining to my mom.
"What is that act for, Jelaine? Do you feel like you're in the spotlight where cameras are around, shooting? What? Are you an actress? You have so much of a show. Fix yourself up! And what mama bear do you keep on saying? Did you forget that your call to me is mama? Ma-ma! And don't be repetitive, Jelaine! You are going to transfer to another school whether you like it or not because that's what I want, and you can't do anything to change my mind!" My mom answered me. Her voice sounded louder than I did.
We are here at our house, and I did not attend my class today at my existing school. It was because my mom suddenly decided on something crazy. She went to my room early in the morning before I ever woke up and got ready for school. She told me about her crazy decision. She told me that she was planning to get me transferred to a new school. By which seems to be just like that. Like it was simple. It was easy for her to communicate with me about the decision she made without my permission. She decided on something that I was involved in without having a word from me. When she spoke to me about her decision, it was final. She said that I do not have a say in it anymore, which is not fair! She should have thought about asking how I would feel about this, especially that associated with me.
That's why I am here, complaining to her about it. I'm telling her that I oppose this decision she's about to make. That is against the law and my human rights. I am very unwilling! So, I will stand and fight for my rights!
Since kindergarten, this is the school where I attend, and I feel like it is my home now. I don't want to transfer to another school, especially since the school I am about to go to is the worst school I've ever heard of in my life.
"That school is a big mistake! Big mistake, 'ma! Do you hear that? Why suddenly did you decide to transfer me to a new school? Why of all schools in the Philippines did you choose that school? Listen to me, 'ma. My friends are here at my current school! Why are you doing this to me? My grades are good, and I maintain them well. I give you no problem. I am a good daughter. I'm a goddess, I'm so cool, and after all that, you're doing this to me? Is this what you're going to pay for all the sacrifices that I am doing as your daughter? For all the good things that I'm doing? But then, when I ask you for a valid reason, you can't give any. You don't answer me properly! What is this? A game for you? You are bored, and you chose to play with me? Is that it?" I sulked.
I was faking to be crying to show it to her to somehow get a little sympathy from my mother. I was trying so hard for a tear to drop from my eyes to make it believable and realistic, but no matter how hard I tried pressing my eyes close to making some tears down, no tear came out from them. Oh, my veggies! My beautiful eyes, can you do me a favor just this once? Please, drop some tears! It is a simple favor I'm asking! "You're right, 'ma. I feel like I'm in a drama show, and I feel like you are the antagonist!" I covered my face with my palms. "How I wish this is just a tv drama that's happening right now. How I wish this is not real!"
I slumped on the floor while showing that I was crying. I was acting like I am an actress who was shooting for a dramatic scene. Oh, my veggies! She might find it obvious that I was faking a cry because of my silly eyes that couldn't once give me a favor and cooperate! I hope she won't notice it. But this is no joke at all. I want to show her that I am crying so that she would give me some sympathy. These eyes of mine are just not cooperating with me! Oh, my veggies! What am I supposed to do now?
"You know what? I just noticed something that's missing. Just one little detail." My mom said, nodding her head, pouting, while she kept looking at me. Both of us know that she's fooling around.
I seemed to know what was going to happen.
She stood up from her seat on the sofa. She started to walk, and I saw her going to the kitchen. When she returned, she was already holding a glass of water in her right hand. "Here!" She said. She put down the glass of water on the center table with heavy gravity that the water spilled out. I got startled by the sound it created. "That's for the tears. That's the only one thing left that you're missing, and you are going to perfect this drama scene you are making."
I feel like someone just splashed cold water on me. I have already awakened from this dream that my mom is going to believe me in this drama. It's depressing because my acting has gone to waste. She gave me a leer face. She rolled her eyes and sighed like she was tired and running out of patience.
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"I already told you the reason why I am deciding to transfer you to another school is that I just wanted to. Don't be repetitive, Jelaine. Alright? Could you?" She strictly uttered in a low and calm voice.
"You just wanted to? Really, 'ma? Is that it? You just wanted to? Right! You just wanted to make my life miserable! That's it, right, 'ma? What about my friends? I will leave them behind! What about me? I never want this! I won't do this. I am unwilling to leave my current school and go to another. I don't like the idea of leaving my school to go to the school you want for me!" I paused and breathed deep. "You just wanted to? What about what I want, 'ma? What about what I want for myself? For my life? Won't you ask me? Don't you have a better reason for doing this? Something that I could understand you for doing this?" I am exploding because of a lot of emotions coming out of my chest right now. Honestly, I'm very disgusted with my mom. She was never like this before. She's acting weird.
It's all because she just wanted me to do this? She must be kidding me. It must be a big joke of a lifetime.
"Oh, yeah? You still don't understand me? Can't you understand those simple words? I'll repeat it to you. You are going to transfer to Eco High because I want to! You still can't understand? That was very simple to understand, Jelaine." Like me, she's also acting like she doesn't have much patience left. She inhaled deep and exhaled. Her facial expression became a little gentle. "Okay. I just thought that you've stayed in your old school almost all your life and I already found that school boring for you. Don't you think it's good to experience new things? See new places and people. Meet and interact with new people? Experience those things that you haven't yet experienced? Color your life brighter colors than you ever have? I think that you deserve to have better and awesome chapters in your life. Why not try, right?" She carefully said.
I knew her last sentence was sarcasm. I admit. There are just the same things for me every day at my current school. Everything is like a repetition of yesterday, a routine, but I am just fine with that. I don't even mind that. I am not asking for any new stuff or breathtaking chapters to come.
She's chilling like none of this is a big deal. Maybe, for her, but I am driving crazy because of this sudden decision she's making. Seriously, what is happening to my mother? Is she driving crazy for real? Oh, my veggies! No. I don't think she is.
"What? Did you say try? Hwoa!" I snorted in disbelief. "Seriously, ma? Do you hear yourself? Will I try to get bullied and be a toy of the students there? Is that what you want, 'ma? Do you think that my life is going to last when I get there yet? Are you sure you are putting me in that scary school? Please think again, 'ma! Think carefully! Please! I want to live long. I don't belong in that scary school. I'm too good to mix with the students there." My school right now is the best school for me. It's where I am fit. I have an ordinary life with regular students.
And what's important I will not perish while staying where I am right now.
"Enough! I am enough of you, Jelaine! Stop that act right now! Let's stop this discussion! I have already decided. Nothing can change that. I see no bad reason for you not to transfer. You can't guarantee that the rumors you hear about that school are real. You have not been there all your life. So, cut your wide imaginations, okay? Now, go to your room!" She's looking at me with a sense of authority, and her voice also has it. So, she's that serious about this? She wants me to move into a new school like dumping waste.
Am I going to that school for real? I can't imagine. I hope this is just a bad dream. How I wish this is just a huge joke. I hope I am an actual actress shooting this scene!
Right! Why can't I become an actress and not attend school anymore? So that I could escape this thing like a ninja? Gosh! I know. That's not the best idea to do. Not a solution.
"Do I still need to prove a fact? 'Ma... Please! Don't do this. I haven't done anything wrong for you to do this. Why in all schools did you choose Eco High? Students there have bad reputations. There are no students there but badasses. Bad girls and boys! Do you hear me, 'ma? Bad girls and boys! Bad girls and b--"
"Okay, stop! Just stop it now. You are telling me that multiple times. I told you not to be so repetitive! You are repeating over and over!" She said with extreme annoyance and disgust.
"Then, tell me why there? My first day there could be the last day of my life. I have a strong feeling that the first step I take inside that school could be my end. I might not be able to come home anymore. So, think carefully, 'ma! Think again. But if you are already decided, okay, go on. It's your choice to lose a perfect goddess of all daughters in the world that no one could ever have and had."
A valid reason, that's all I need. To be able to understand this. That's enough for me.
I am a good daughter. I'm not the kind who takes home a trophy or a medal, but I am doing everything I can to make them proud. I'm doing and taking all my responsibility as a child and student seriously. I'm doing my very best to study and be a good student for all sake. I don't get low grades or marks because I'm putting my most excellent work on every task I'm doing. I see no reason for her to do this to me.
What have I done wrong that propelled her to put me into a school like that? I swear I don't think that I have done anything for her to do this.
"Don't say that! You are a good girl. I know that. I know you. You are my daughter! Don't worry about anything and just trust me, okay? All is well. You'll find out why I am doing this. For now, just do what I say and don't ask questions. You're not going to die or something. I know. Trust me. Okay?" She smiled gently and tapped my shoulder before she stood up from her seat again. "Go to your room and get ready. You're coming with me to process all we need to process so that you can go to school tomorrow."
I looked at her helplessly and hopelessly as she was walking away.