Ever since she awakened those foreign memories at the age of eight, Alice had been plagued by deep anguish. She constantly worried about the possibility of being taken over by this girl and occasionally became suspicious of her own memories. She wondered if they were slowly being overwritten by those strange dreams that lingered in her long-term memory instead of quickly vanishing upon waking.

Although this feeling was rare, she couldn't help but fear that she might have forgotten more memories than she realized. After all, one couldn’t know what they didn’t know. Still, Alice had learned in those dreams that it was typical to forget things that occurred before the age of five, so she didn't think it was significant enough to be alarmed.

Despite her worries, Alice grew up without believing she was being consumed by that earthling. This might have been auto-persuasion or self-deception, but she tried her best to convince herself of that for the sake of her sanity. For all intents and purposes, she even tried to think of that girl as her former self. In the first place, their sharing the same soul was the most logical explanation for Alice receiving those memories.

Now, even though she didn’t feel like having been taken over, Alice acknowledged that those past memories had left an impact on her. She had inherited a whole new set of values and beliefs, which had developed in another world over two decades of experiences, encounters, and extensive reading. While most of these values had been irrelevant in her current world, a good portion of them gave Alice a unique perspective that differed from most fellow inhabitants of this planet.

For instance, Alice wasn't sure if the public executions performed in every kingdom were truly necessary or justifiable. Her former self had lived in a relatively peaceful country, so such acts of violence felt jarring and contradictory to a part of Alice. Nevertheless, despite the dissonance it caused her, she still felt in control of her thoughts and opinions.

However, she now found herself in a difficult situation. For years, she had pursued a goal that didn’t feel like her own: to gain more power. She suspected this desire had been ingrained in her mind even before her accidental magical awakening at the age of twelve. Alice had pushed herself to do challenging and mentally taxing things to achieve this goal, but now she questioned whether it was truly what she wanted herself. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was currently under someone's control.

Alice's heart pounded in her chest, her breath coming in short as panic seized her. For several minutes, she tried to remember if there were more similar occurrences of her doing things that were unlike her. She didn’t find any, but it didn’t mean there were none. After all, something as obvious as her motivation to perfect her magic went under the radar for years.

With trembling hands, Alice pushed herself up from her bed and made her way to the window, seeking solace. She used some mana to ignite a candle, and she just watched the flame consuming the wax for several seconds. She needed a break.

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/563044399261417475/1089458786814656563/SPOILER_Alice.png]

The stars were easy to spot on this warm and clear spring night. The seven brightest stars seemed connected and formed a constellation called Phaethon.

(This is so strange.)

She closed her eyes, controlled her breath, and activated her mana veins. There, she saw the exact same stars arranged in the exact same way. Although the current weather conditions were supposedly optimal, that Phaethon constellation Alice was used to seeing while closing her eyes was even clearer.

The nebulas, barely visible to the naked eye next to the real constellation, appeared in perfect clarity to Alice. Those nebulas were clearly not there the first time Alice had activated her mana veins during her first magic lesson with Viktor.

This vision of space had become clearer and clearer the more Alice looked at it. Over the years, Alice had become fascinated by this view. Whenever she felt anguish, she just closed her eyes, focused on that constellation, and this let her calm down. This little trick might just have been her most effective spell.

She didn’t know why she was seeing this when she closed her eyes, though. Sure, stars were kind of related to energy as both sources of light and natural nuclear fusion plants, but the connection seemed a little tenuous. Alice was puzzled as to why she was seeing Phaethon specifically.

(Maybe she would know. I guess it’s her magic, in the end.)

The reason why Alice had awakened this magic type was only due to that foreign knowledge. Maybe it was why this energy conversion magic never felt like her own.

Every day, Alice was convinced that she was reaping the rewards of her former self by using her knowledge. She was seen as a genius by her parents and the Vallmonts, but she was merely using another person’s memories. She felt like she didn’t deserve to be called smart.

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(Maybe Serena was right, and I’m actually stupid.)

Now that she had gazed at the stars, a sense of calm washed over Alice, easing a bit her troubled thoughts.

She deactivated her mana veins, kept her eyes closed, and searched through those dreams that were stored in her brain. It was very much like using a mind palace, except Alice had made no effort to create it. It simply expanded by itself between the time she was eight and the time she turned ten.

As she looked into her brain’s shelves, the origin of that goal became more apparent. Her former self had always been a fan of superheroes. During her childhood, she had spent countless hours reading or rereading her favorite books and watching the series adaptations on TV, dreaming of one day having the power to make a real difference in the world as well. She was especially a fan of very specific superpowers that could be used in many different ways with some creativity.

As Alice investigated even further into those memories, it was easy to see that the earthling’s love for science had initially manifested because of those heroes. Some were mutants, some were aliens, while others gained powers through failed scientific experiments.

As Alice checked all those dreams, she even saw that seven-year-old girl stealing a book about gamma radiation from a library, in the hope of becoming a powerful being.

(That girl...)

In the end, as far as Alice explored those memories, her former self had never realized it was those heroes that had made her pursue this college path. With the years passing, she had forgotten all about this and only her interest in science remained. Somehow, Alice felt relieved to not be the only one being manipulated by a third party.

(No. Wait. Wasn’t there a dream in which she realized something before passing away?)

Alice began looking out for that specific dream. And indeed, since she returned to her parents’ house in the countryside to spend her last few months, she became aware of it when she opened a box with all the books from her childhood inside.

However, instead of reacting like Alice by panicking and cursing said third party, she merely smiled. She even called for the first time in years her childhood friend who was an even more hardcore fan of superheroes than her. That friend had lent her hundreds of books, and she had decided to catch up with all the current releases. She also borrowed multiple game consoles to try out all the games she had always wanted to play. By then, she just knew her end was near.

Alice had technically seen this dream when she was about nine years old, but she had not realized what it really meant at the time.

Although that girl had learned that all her life had been decided by mere drawings and speech bubbles, she didn’t regret choosing that path. If anything, she was glad to have found a purpose.

Frankly, Alice was impressed by that girl. Despite her disease and even though she constantly looked sad, her former self never snapped at anyone. She never cursed anyone for what was happening to her either, not even the gods.

(I… I don’t have that wisdom.)

And here she was, freaking out because that wish of getting stronger didn’t come from where she thought it would. At the end of the day, Alice truly wished to obtain power. The shady origin of that desire didn't make it any less real.

Sure, without those memories, values and beliefs, she probably would not have had said desire. Without them, though, Alice might have lived an aimless life. She would have been stupid and this arrangement with the Vallmonts would never have occurred. She might not even have awakened at the age of twelve, and she wouldn’t have met Serena. To Alice, such a life would be plain. In a way, everything good happening in her life was thanks to those additional memories.

(Maybe she’s not a threat. Maybe she’s here to fill up this empty shell.)

With a deep breath, Alice slowly opened her eyes. Her perspective on her current predicament had ever-so-slightly changed.

Now, she was sure of it. This goal of gathering power was just a stepping stone, a necessary condition to achieve her former self’s dream.

As for this dream, it was as simple as it was ridiculous: becoming a hero. Not the kind of hero who would save the entire world by defeating a demon lord with a sword, but a more simple kind. A lone, powerful superhero without a name, who would travel the world and save individuals from villains and monsters. In a world where literally everyone had magical powers, she just had to be better than most.

Now that Alice had been made aware of the truth of this purpose, she felt like she was once again the one in control. In the end, she could decide to go on that road of gathering power, or instead give up and live her life as a regular noble. Having the ability to choose her next course of action made Alice relax quite a bit.

Would going for the hero route be for herself, or for granting her former self's dream?

(Both, in the end. Does it even matter?)

She may or may not have been controlled, but Alice truly wanted to know more about this world. It was crawling with intelligent humanoid species she wasn't even aware of a year ago, and she did want to see them with her own eyes. It was her own world, and yet she was a lot more familiar with Earth. She wanted to see what her world had to offer.

On the other hand, if Alice owed everything good happening in her life to that former self, then deciding to pursue her dream was the least she could do.

(Don’t our wishes coincide, anyway?)

Traveling the world to learn more about it and its people, and traveling the world to help them.

If Alice had been a commoner, it might have been simple enough to achieve both of them in a lifetime. However, she was a noble. She would be an adult in a few months, but she would be married off into another family in a few years. She would not be free indefinitely.

(The time range is quite narrow.)

Moreover, she would also need to assume now and then her noble duties as the oldest child of the Ravendall family, especially while her little brother was still a kid.

She needed to think of a plan in order to blend her noble obligations with this desire to explore the world, and fast. Despite feeling a sense of urgency, Alice faintly smiled.

(But this tension isn't so bad.)