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The Autobiography of Donk the Barbarian
Ch 1.2 Discovery of Disappearances

Ch 1.2 Discovery of Disappearances

“I hate feral goblins,” I muttered as I returned from my little look-around to camp. There’s a significant difference between city goblins and feral goblins, as any city goblin is sure to assure you. City goblins speak Common, are capable of complex reasoning, and find joy in fitting into tight places. By contrast, feral goblins speak a harsh combination of sounds only decipherable by their fellow tribe members, can’t count past their fingers, and enjoy fitting sapient flesh into tight places, usually their mouths. Both subspecies have varying traits, caused mainly by the difference in cleanliness, but the easiest way to tell the difference is to look at their eyes; city goblins have white sclera, and feral goblins have red sclera. Pa says feral goblins have red eyes because of all the blood they drink, but that just sounds like an old wive’s tale.

“I agree. There is no need for their cruelty to disgrace this land.” I jumped and grabbed my axe before relaxing. A slim half-orc walks alongside me, and I recognize him from the guildhall.

“You introduced yourself as Lucith if I remember correctly?” I ask the quiet man. He makes no sound as he walks silently through the leaf litter.

“Yes. That is what they called me.” He whispers back. I can’t tell if that’s because he’s trying to be quiet or if he can’t speak any louder. None of my business. Walking back to where we left the carriage, it looks like everything is just as disorganized as when I left. Lucith goes inside to grab something, and I stand watching the chaos. Before long, however, Ludwig, the forest elf, emerges from the carriage alongside Lucith.

“It’s going to take Stella a while to fix her ‘wardrobe’ and get going,” Ludwig tells me. “Are you up for some reconnaissance? Lucith and I plan to sneak along those tracks, and I figured you’re sneaky enough to join.” Lucith nods silently.

Looking between the two, then at the commotion inside the carriage, I quickly make up my mind. “I’d love to join. I doubt I’m as stealthy as Lucith, though.” I reply.

Ludwig grins at me. “If the ferals could hear us, they already have.” He gestures towards the wagon that appears to be rocking back and forth before continuing. “I was thinking of inviting you, so we’ve got a bit more firepower in case we get caught.”

His explanation made sense to me, so I nodded my consent. Ludwig then moves silently into the forest, followed by an even quieter Lucith, before I come tromping through. I’m trying to be quiet, but half-orcs aren’t the most stealthy, even at the best times. Except Lucith, apparently.

After a minute, the tracks become much more apparent. Ludwig whispers, “They stopped trying to cover their tracks. This’ll be easy-peasy, shimmer-squeezy.” The path continued on for another ten minutes before opening into a clearing. I survey the scene before bowing my head in consternation. There are lean-tos scattered across the now-obvious camp, with broken bone tools lying about in the grass. A strip of cloth tied to a pole, painted in dried blood, appears to be a flag. The symbol depicted proves that this camp belongs to goblins, with the crude strokes and a poorly written sign the trademark of feral goblin camps. It looks like there’s something written in Common underneath the crudely depicted sword-club, but the words are too mangled to make out. I can’t tell if it says “winners” or “tree bark,” the handwriting is just that bad. The missing carriages we’re here to investigate are lying about, some damaged and some smashed into firewood. Simple goods and rotting foodstuffs lay piled about at random. Moving closer, I spotted something else that both whitened my ears and made steam blow from my nose with rage. A burned-out fire pit, underneath a copse of trees to disperse the smoke, holds the undeniable proof of these goblins’ wickedness. Charred bones lie scattered in the ash, some far too small to come from any adult.

A hand laid upon my shoulder before I could start moving to destroy those demons. “Peace, brother.” Whispered Lucith. “I see the tragedy. We must prevent more, but we can not do that if we perish in the process.” He removed his hand before pointing towards a cave entrance I had been too distracted to notice earlier. “Our enemies lie in wait. Let us return to our allies to bring justice unto them.” Taking a few deep breaths, I solemnly turned to follow Lucith out of the forest.

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“So… that was disturbing,” Ludwig said, trying to lighten the mood as we walked under the canopies.

I gave a tight smile back and replied. “Yeah. When Jekyl said ‘missing carriages,’ I assumed it was just carriages and supplies. I didn’t realize that the people would also have gone missing.” I shake my head before continuing on. “But that’s what we’re here for. To stop this from happening or prevent it from worsening.”

Ludwig looks into my eyes and then gives me a cheeky grin. “You got it, kid.”

I snark back, “You’re a kid, too. You can’t be any older than 24, can you?”

Ludwig gasps and pretends to be mortally wounded. “24! Do I look 24 to you?!?” He recovers from his wound. “Whatever. Anyway, I was wondering. What was up with the sparks?”

“The sparks?”

“Yeah! The sparks! Lucith and I were looking at the cavern entrance, but then sparks started flying everywhere! He spun around and saw them coming from your hair as you looked at that campfire! What’s up with that?” He questioned.

I scratched the back of my neck, embarrassed by both blowing our cover and missing an obvious cave opening. At least there was nobody but my allies there to see me mess up. “Ah. Yeah. Well, ever since I was a little kid, magical phenomena started happening around me whenever I had strong emotions, especially when I was upset or angry. At first, my parents were ecstatic to have their children use magic, especially at a young age. But I can’t control any of it before you ask why I’m not a mage now. It’s always random and mostly harmless.”

“That’s a shame,” responded Ludwig. “Magic is awesome. I can only do a few cantrips now, but I’ll hopefully get better soon.”

I tried not to feel jealous when I heard that. However, I was used to being outshone in magic, so my frustrations were quickly quashed. By the time I had fully calmed down, we arrived back at the carriage.

Despite our reconnaissance trip taking a good 40 minutes, the party still wasn’t ready yet. Well, I say the party, but it was actually just one person still suiting up. Everyone else was standing and talking, looking like they were waiting for us to return. Before I could do anything, Ludwig shoved me from behind into the center of the circle. All eyes turned to me.

Turning my head back to glare at Ludwig, he gave me an encouraging thumbs-up and gestured to explain what we’d scouted. Turning back around, I noticed that Lucith had already appeared at the back of the party, despite having to pass Ludwig and me to get there. Coughing a little, I started my explanation.

“Lucith, Ludwig, and I scouted out the tracks behind us to see if they led anywhere,” I paused, waving a hand towards the trail before continuing. “It leads directly to a feral goblin camp.” Some of my party members shifted uncomfortably, but no one spoke up. “The camp is scattered with the remains of carriages, but we didn’t find a single goblin. Instead, we found a cavern entrance. I propose we sally into the cave to rescue who and what we can. I’ve already seen evidence that the goblins are willing to go so far as to” I stop as my breath catches, and my eyes tear up.

I take a deep breath before continuing on, “Well. You all know what feral goblins do to civilized folk.” A few people look queasy at this, but their eyes harden into resolve. “We don’t know what’s down there. It could be nothing; it could murder us all by rolling over in its slumber. But if we leave, by the time experienced adventurers get here, it’ll be too late for whoever is still alive. Besides, we’re all adventurers, even if we aren’t the most experienced. We owe it to those people to save them from a horrible fate. All in favor of diving in?” I put forth the vote. 7 hands raised in unison. I nod, taking another deep breath, before speaking once more. “It’s decided then. We’re going in.” Everyone gives a small cheer, and we start walking into the forest. Before we could leave the road, our final party member finally popped out of the carriage.

Looking at our worried yet resolved faces, she frowned and looked around. After not finding anything out of the ordinary, she turned to me and asked, “What did I miss?”

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