“Space warts?” spoke Marilyn in the darkness of space to her now-favorite former humans. The two were now pulverized sand flying at astronomical speeds between mercury and mars.
“Mister Space Herpes to you,” quipped the Jester from within his ball as the background music began to fade. She chuckled. “Yes,” he added.
“Did you just feel something? Like the stars jumping ahead or changing position? Behind, did the sun appear to get smaller?”
“Nothing we noticed, Poudy?” Christian answered. “That’s his new name in his current predicament.” She giggled some more.
“Your music choices have been splendid by the way,” answered the Chairman. “Twelve famous songs with the word sand in a row.”
“You noticed,” she barely added breathless by her laughter.
“Something happened?” questioned Maltais. The two retired humans were zooming through the Cosmos on their way to mars.
“We just jumped forward it seems, in a strange way. I wanted to see how you perceived it. Two days were just cut from your trip from where we stand on mars. We are now thirteen days before your entrance.”
“Time is different in this form.” Marilyn knew something brilliant was coming, “we have been speaking and this feels like relative time variations.”
“Hawking’s type, not Wang’s type,” added Nick. Marilyn was slowly falling in complete admiration for the pair. “We felt nothing really and you know I don’t like to lie to megalomaniacs with life and death power over me. Trust me. How is that possible, the girl?”
“The Attractor and the Multiverse are getting ready for the Sixth Attraction. They want this over with and I can’t blame them. Every reason to get upset moves us ahead in time. But this time the jump was different, a bit more local like a burst that radiated only to certain things touching the Nexus. I just needed the confirmation this was not another pinch since you boys did not see the latest dance.”
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“You lost me.”
Marilyn tried some humor of her own, “Not yet but I plan to lose you quickly.”
As the music began to return suggesting the conversation was over, “Wait,” asked the Chairman. “No one misses you if that’s what you are about to ask,” joked Marilyn.
“If we are going to land and live on mars, looks like we need to make friends with these new dry salty neighbors.” She chuckled. They were masters at humor, she wanted to learn.
“I personally am no fan of the martians for a whole bunch of reasons which are about to become clear very soon. But I see no problem in unleashing your levels of crazy on them. I also like you boys, Emilio was right, I would like to keep you around and for that to happen.”
“From one crazy to another. You flatter us.”
“Let me try something. The one named Grox seems to the brightest of the creatures floating next to you. Get him on your side, he could be helpful convincing the morons down on mars.”
While from millions of kilometers away the balls formed a tight formation in space, they were still traveling at extreme velocities and to be safe, Marilyn kept a couple of thousand feet between each. She willed and ordered a change and one began to move slowly over the course of an hour. The little white spinning disk inside one of the balls began to twist imprecisely. Slowly the ball began to approach until it was mere feet away from the human traveler’s. The clicking sounds got closer until it was distinctive.
“You guys talking?” she asked.
“I don’t speak popcorn popping, it’s a buttery language.” Marilyn exploded in the loudest laughter. She laughed hysterically for several long minutes. She loved the deranged humor, god she needed these guys.
“All right,” she finally added after wiping digital tears in the corner of her invisible eyes, “once on mars, these stranded boys will have hours, not days to calm the martians and tell them what is happening before the Sixth Attraction. LO will be arriving hours after and I am sending you guys along and far away to avoid interference. I have you landing a hundred miles from my house closer to their garbage dump of a hole in the ground.”
“You really hate them.”
“All this Sixth Attraction is their stupid fault. I plan to keep most of the balls for leverage as LO lands. I may let a couple out. Try to be good ambassadors. The landing will be violent, no time to decelerate. Ronaldo says the martians have no sense of humor.”
“You hear this Puffy the Vampire, no fart jokes.” Marilyn exploded once again.
As the computer intellect began the painful long translation, she giggled thinking about the boys telling the martians fart jokes. She knew Emilio’s gift picked the Jester and who in turn picked Nick for this expect reason. Marilyn needed to love humans, she needed to care and humor was a powerful draw. The irony was not lost on her, she was using LO for the same reason. Sophie had to care for mankind and want her to keep the lights on a bit longer.