“You know, when they dragged me into existence to be the sidekick of an alien assassin, robbing a grocery store wasn’t something I was expecting,” said Amelia.
“If you’d been living off crappy granola bars for the last six days, you’d feel differently,” Hat grumbled quietly back.
Evie shot the bird a dirty look. “Oh, shut up. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much lighter that bag of bird seed has gotten.” It was their sixth full day on Honrad. She was already so sick of meal replacement bars that she’d been tempted to try some of the seed herself, just for a bit of variety.
The building across from them was more of a supermarket than a grocery store. Evie had had her eyes on it for a few days, ever since she noticed the display of backpacks in the window. She had been coveting the bags since the incident with the Honrad five days ago, and had decided to get herself one.
The bag and the food weren’t her only motivations for breaking into the building. The supermarket had a basic Honrad security system. According to Inor, who had been relatively responsive to Evie’s questions the last few days, this system should be comparable to the one installed at Ude’s house. After a full Honrad week of tailing Ude, his home was currently the most promising assassination location, and Evie wanted to test how easy it was to break in without tripping an alarm.
According to Inor, crime on Honrad was relatively rare, thanks to the plentiful resources provided to all members of The Understanding, but not completely gone. Break-ins and petty robbery were common forms of rebellion, especially among younger Honrad. As a result, most public establishments and private residencies used basic security systems. Doors were locked and unlocked with eyeball scanners, and if anything was broken or forced, the police were contacted automatically. Luckily for Evie, cameras, motion sensors, and other more advanced security measures weren’t common at less important locations.
Evie pulled out her tablet. It was a few minutes before hour twenty-two, when the store closed, but that wasn’t why she was looking.
“For fuck’s sake Evie, stop looking at your tablet every two God-damned seconds. The episodes will be up by the time we’re finished here.”
“I know, I know…” she said, tucking the tablet away. She knew she should focus on the task at hand, but the thought of getting to see Lubanzi in a few hours made that hard. The episode was a pale replacement for training together, and their long, late-night talks, but at least she would get to see him. Get proof he was ok, even if it was three days outdated.
A noise at the door to the supermarket pulled her attention back to the present. A sole Honrad stood outside, locking up for the evening. Without her mask, Evie would have had difficulty making out the shadowed figure. The only illumination along the otherwise empty street came from a few yellow street lamps, spaced too far apart to be consistently effective.
After the Honrad shopkeeper departed, they waited another ten minutes to make sure the area was deserted. Few Honrad moved around the city at night, but few weren’t none. When Evie was satisfied the coast was clear, she darted from her hiding place, crossing the narrow street to the locked entrance of the supermarket.
“Hat, make sure you have your cameras ready. This heist is going to be one to remember,” Amelia said, her voice dripping sarcasm. Evie reached out and pulled on the door. It swung open. She had shoved a few pebbles into the latch earlier, while the Honrad were on their lunch break. The similarity between human and Honrad doors really was amazing.
“Damn,” said Hat. “I was kinda hoping that wouldn’t work and you’d have to break a window. Would’ve been great for the episode. Very dramatic.”
“Unless the window didn’t shatter. Then it would’ve been hilarious.” Amelia tapped her carbide tipped ferrule lightly against the window. The ferrule was designed to shatter both regular and tempered glass, but they had no idea what material Honrad windows were made from. Inor was reasonably sure the umbrella would be able to shatter one, but doing so would definitely trip the security system. It would have shown Evie how long the police took to respond to a break in, but she was glad her trick with the door latch had worked. She really, really wanted time to grab some fresh food.
As the door cleared the frame, the deadbolt snapped into place. Evie suspected it would prevent her from closing the door on the way back out, but that didn’t matter. Tomorrow, everyone would know she was here, anyway. She shut the door as far as it would go and entered a large, dimly lit room full of neat rows of food and other wears.
“God the Honrad are boring,” said Amelia as Evie made a beeline towards the display of large, waterproof backpacks. “It’s really unbelievable that they were able to discover the Sniffers. They seem less technologically advanced than humans. All the aliens in Star Trek could materialize food out of magic boxes. They wouldn’t be caught dead shopping for food like animals.”
Evie snorted, but couldn’t help but agree. The Honrad lived excruciatingly repetitive, simple lives. Watching them go about their day-to-day was like watching automatons go through preset motions. They went to work, ate lunch, then returned home like clockwork, only occasionally deviating from their rails to do equally boring chores. Like grocery shopping.
After giving the bags a thorough once over, Evie selected one of the larger ones. It was dark brown and had two straps, meant to be worn like a backpack. She threw it over her shoulder experimentally. Content with her choice, she headed towards the food.
“Ok Celia,” commented Amelia. Evie felt her face flush beneath the mask. The resemblance to the other assassin’s bag had crossed her mind.
Most of the food available was produce, but there was a good selection of nonperishables. Evie didn’t have any way to cook in the pod, which limited her choices, but there were still plenty of options. Smiling, she started to fill her new backpack with food.
“Go grab some of that!” Hat said, landing heavily on Evie’s shoulder and gesturing at a bulk container in the center of the floor. Evie walked over and groaned as soon as she saw what was inside.
“Hat, we still have like three quarters of that bag of birdseed I stole off the Honrad,” she said in exasperation.
“You’d rather commit murder every time I run out of food? What’s wrong with stocking up a little?”
“You’re going to get fat.”
“So? Amiya says she likes a man with meat on his bones.”
Evie had no response to that. She shook her head, pulled a medium-sized sack from next to the container and scooped birdseed into it. She filled up half the bag, paused, and looked at Hat. He stared back at her, his bulbous eyes wide with anticipation. He looked at the sack, looked back at her, and bobbed his head expectantly. She added a few more scoops.
“Jesus, it’s not like it’s going to go bad, Evie.”
“You don’t have to carry it home.” Evie grumbled as she filled the bag up to the top, tied it shut and slipped it into her new backpack.
“Neither do you, so stop complaining,” said Amelia.
A strangled cry interrupted them. Evie spun to see a Honrad standing in the door, staring at her with shock. He wore a belt and holster. For a moment he stood frozen, cavernous mouth agape, then he recovered and reached for his weapon.
“Amelia!” Evie cried, but the umbrella was already there. Her shield slammed into place just in time to deflect a small silver dart. Two more darts bounced off before the Honrad’s weapon clicked. Empty. As the creature fumbled to reload, Evie’s mind raced through her options. The Honrad might not be alone. Evie knew she could take one or two Honrad, but any more than that could easily overwhelm her. She had an alternative.
“Drop!” she yelled, and Amelia snapped shut, her shield vanishing as she closed. Evie spun around, vaulted over a display of root vegetables and tore towards the wall. She flipped her grip on the umbrella’s handle and slammed her, point first, into the nearest window. The glass, or whatever it was, exploded into a million tiny, glittering crystals. They crashed around Evie as she threw herself out into the night, slicing into her as she rolled to her feet in the road. Amelia popped open. Hat hit Evie’s shoulder, and they took off into the air, Amelia’s shield back around them just in time to deflect several more darts before they flew out of range.
“How the hell did we tip them off?” Evie panted, desperately trying to slow her raging heartbeat.
“The door,” Amelia said as they rose. “It must have triggered an alarm when you opened it, since it was supposed to be locked.”
Evie nodded, wincing at the motion. Small daggers of glass had embedded into the back of her arms and shoulders, radiating needles of agony. Thankfully, her new backpack had protected her from the worst of them.
“We’ll have to rethink how we get into Ude’s house, if we decide that’s where we want to collect him,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Let’s worry about it later,” said Hat, looking at Evie’s back with concern. “For now, let’s get you back to the pod and cleaned up. The episodes have posted. We can watch how the others are doing, then regroup.”
Evie immediately forgot about the stinging pain in her upper back. She resisted the temptation to whip out her tablet out and watch as they flew. A few more minutes wouldn’t change anything.
“All things considered, that worked out okay,” continued Hat. “You’ve effectively announced your presence, but everyone would have known by tomorrow anyway. And we got what we came for, so no real loss.”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Uh huh. I’m glad I risked my life to get you more birdseed,” Evie responded.
Back in the pod, Hat forced Evie to address her wounds before they settled in to watch the episodes. The pigeon, perched on Amelia’s handle so he could reach, delicately plucked out each tiny shard of glass from Evie’s skin. The cuts weren’t deep, but there were dozens of them, and they were painful and distracting. For the first time, she found herself missing the resurrection chambers, despite her suspicion of them. Hopefully the Skonarian dressing she applied would help a little.
Finally, Hat deemed her ministrations satisfactory, and they settled onto the bed. Evie, unable to wait any longer, pulled out her tablet and started Lubanzi’s episode.
Lubanzi stood on a thick branch, his tall figure framed by tufts of dark green needles. He looked well, exuding confidence as he surveyed the ground below. The bark beneath his feet was ragged, a brown mosaic of crevices and jagged, flaking scales. As she watched, the camera panned back, silhouetting him against the surrounding scene.
Lubanzi was in what strongly resembled a pine forest, but the trees were monolithic. Twice as tall as any Evie had seen on Honrad before. The city below seemed small at first, only a few dozen buildings crowded together between the colossal trunks and lichen covered rock formations. None of the buildings were taller than those in Shlordal, and for an instant she was underwhelmed. Until she followed the column-like trunks into the air and saw the structures built into the trees.
Elevator-like shafts rose along the trunks, connecting the ground to the familiar rectangular buildings interspersed through the foliage. Roped pathways traced along thick branches, and bridges connected the individual trees into a single, unified network. The Honrad’s simple, repetitive architecture blended into the spectacle, refusing to distract even a little from the awe-inspiring natural beauty.
“Why did we have to get stuck in a swamp,” said Amelia. “It doesn’t even look like it’s raining there.”
“I think he’s near the planet’s capitol,” said Hat. “I’ve heard a few descriptions… that’s really fucking something, isn’t it?”
Evie didn’t respond. Her attention, momentarily captured by the incredible landscape, focused back on Lubanzi. Her stomach clenched itself into a knot. He was hundreds of feet in the air with no safety net, no Amelia to catch him if he fell. They had been through the same training, and he knew what he was doing, but it still terrified her. One slip, one wrong move or moment of distraction, and it would be over for him. And she could do nothing.
Evie spent the entire episode on the edge of panic. It was relatively uneventful, as most “introductory episodes” were. Assassins usually took a week or so to come up with a strategy, so the first few episodes of each assignment focused on introducing the setting and highlighting the assassin’s skill sets.
Lubanzi was leaning into stealth. His ability to creep around the Honrad unnoticed put Evie’s and Haruto’s to shame. Evie white knuckled the sheet beneath her as she watched him push the limits of what she thought possible, and decimate the limits of what she found sensible. Lubanzi brazenly inserted himself into the heart of the city, clinging to the underside of bridges, and concealing himself mere feet from Honrad going about their lives. No building, no secluded corner, seemed out of his reach.
“That’s a ballsy strategy,” said Hat as they watched. “It definitely builds suspense, but he’s also effectively challenged the whole damn region to a game of hide and seek. Everyone will be looking for him. I hope they realize that... Amiya knows what she’s doing though… this has to be intentional.” Hat nervously chewed on one of his claws.
The episode left Evie feeling worried and empty, full of an almost irrepressible desire to re-watch it a second time. But she resisted the temptation. He was ok, and she would see him again in three days. Reluctantly, she clicked on Haruto’s episode.
Haruto was in a more familiar region, similar to the one Evie knew from Celia’s first episode. The tropical landscape was wet and lush, but the trees, though towering, looked less impressive contrasted against the behemoth pines in Lubanzi’s episode. Evie searched the frame for Haruto unsuccessfully. Then, with an explosion of motion, he made his entrance.
Haruto, crouched atop his motorcycle, sped straight up the thick trunk of a tree at a break-neck pace. He wove around the huge, colorful mushrooms attached to the trunk effortlessly, navigating onto a branch in the tree’s canopy. The branch seemed too thin to be a reliable pathway, but if anything, Haruto only sped up. He reached the end and launched himself into the air, soaring gracefully onto the roof of one of the towering buildings.
“I wonder how many times he had to practice that.” Evie muttered, smiling despite herself. Haruto seemed to take inspiration from Celia, creating tension mainly by performing gravity defying feats on his eerily silent motorcycle. He navigated around the city by jumping from one roof to another, with no attempt at concealing his presence. Evie grudgingly conceded that the effect was impressive and successfully distracted the viewer from how nothing of actual substance occurred.
When Haruto’s episode concluded, Evie reached for her own, then hesitated, suddenly nervous. What if she didn’t stack up? She moved her finger to another episode, telling herself she wanted to save hers for last. Celia was still on break, and the other assassins, though interesting in their own ways, failed to distract Evie from her nerves. Their episodes passed in a barely registered blur. Finally, she had no obvious excuse to avoid watching her own. Stealing herself, she pulled up the last episode and pressed play.
The scene opened on a spectacular view of Shlordal. The rain was, for once, light. It misted from the heavens and cast the landscape in a mysterious haze. Sunlight split the clouds, radiating down on the city and the mangrove-like forest below.
“That’s false advertising if I’ve ever seen it,” said Amelia. Hat snorted in agreement.
The camera cut to a peaceful rooftop. A few dozen pigeons roosted contentedly, beginning to wake up and mill around. Then, as one, they exploded off the roof, scattering in a frantic flurry of wings that cleared to reveal Evie standing on the roof’s edge.
Evie stared, unsure what to think. She had seen herself in the mask and the clothing before, but the setting made all the difference. She wasn’t large and intimidating like Celia, and had none of Lubanzi’s lithe grace. It was more subtle than that. She looked like a coiled spring. Like the slightest touch might make her explode.
On the screen, she strode forward, opening Amelia above her as she walked. She spun the umbrella, creating a momentary spiral of droplets around her. Evie remembered that feeling playful. But in the episode, Hat had manipulated the angle and the lighting. The gesture had the same effect as an executioner running a thumb along the blade of an ax.
Clips of her in the city and forest followed the introduction. In some she had the decoy umbrella, in others she flew with the real Amelia, but all captured the same essence. Barely contained violence.
Finally, the episode cut to the forest. A lone Honrad plotted their way through the mud, occasionally stopping to squint up into the trees. The camera’s focus shifted, revealing Evie crouched above. In that moment, Evie had felt terrified. Full of self-loathing for not being more careful. But none of that was visible. The Honrad had become her prey, and it was already too late for them.
The Honrad paused and pulled out the monocular. It held the lens to its eye, and Evie descended. Hat had removed all her hesitations, her momentary disagreement with Amelia, everything that made the kill look anything less than brutal. She suffocated the Honrad beneath the mud with emotionless efficiency, unaffected by its thrashing limbs and gurgling, muffled cries. It was horrific. Mesmerizing. Impossible not to watch.
The episode ended with Evie rummaging through the Honrad’s bag, searching for something she seemed to know was there.
“Wow, I’m actually impressed, bird!” said Amelia after a moment, her voice a jarring contrast to the charged silence left in the episode’s wake. “You made our toddling little Evie look like a cold-hearted killer!”
“I’m not a bird, I’m a pigeon,” corrected Hat, chewing thoughtfully on a seed he had pulled from who knows where. “I know this was a bit extreme out the gate, but the ratings have been really positive so far. We’ll have to see how the next episode stacks up, since you’ve neglected to kill anyone else. We can try out a few character variations over the next few episodes. Stick with whatever gets the best reaction.”
Evie eyed her producer, internally conflicted with what he was implying. Ironically, she wasn’t sure she wanted her entire persona to revolve around being a killer. However, the murders weren’t real, and she couldn’t deny how effective the episode had been. She had spent a long time worrying about how she would compare to the other assassins, and her first episode had more than exceeded her expectations. If brutality worked, why not lean into it?
“Anyway, we should think about the plan for the next few days,” said Hat, oblivious to Evie’s internal turmoil.
Evie settled back onto her bed, trying to clear her head. After a full week of tailing Ude, they had a good handle on his schedule but hadn’t yet come up with a strategy. “Anything new on the game cameras, Amelia?”
“Hmm, let me see. His backyard is currently empty. I saw a squirrel earlier… well, a squirrel-ish. Switching to the next camera…yup, the side of his neighbor’s house is still there. Let me check the tree next to the Resurrection Center. Oh good, it hasn’t moved either.”
Evie rolled her eyes sky high. A few days after their meeting with Inor, Evie and Amelia had snuck to Shlordal Sha before sunrise. They had chosen three locations to attach the game cameras: The window of Ude’s bedroom on the second floor of his house, the window of the main family room on the first floor, and the window at the Resurrection Center nearest to where Ude regularly sat and worked. Attaching the small, sticker-like circles had been easy, and they blended into the clear panes of glass well enough to not be easily noticed. However, once they had booted up the cameras, Evie realized her mistake. Each camera’s lens faced in the opposite direction as the adhesive side, which in hindsight was obvious. Short of breaking into the buildings, which Evie was even more hesitant to do after today’s events, she wasn’t sure how to fix the situation. It was far from a total loss, though. The camera’s microphones were excellent and had no difficulty capturing audio from inside the buildings.
“Thank you for that update, Amelia.” Evie said dryly. “Now stop being an ass and give me a summary of everything you heard today.” She could pull the audio up on her tablet, but sorting through the data would take her forever.
“This morning was boring. Just small talk, nothing interesting. Once he got to work, it was more of the same. The Halston Resurrection center is still down, which means Shlordal Sha is picking up a lot of the slack. Ude spent his day in meetings coordinating the relief efforts. For someone who runs the place, he sure seems to have a lot of technical knowledge.”
“His background is engineering, so I guess that fits,” Evie said thoughtfully.
“It sounded like a stressful day.” Amelia continued. “He left work about an hour later than normal. His partners left for a dinner reservation before he arrived. From the sound of it, he didn’t spend much time at home. Just dropped his stuff and left again, I assume to join them.”
Evie chewed on that for a bit. “Damn, that’s the first time I think we’ve seen him home alone.”
“Heard him,” corrected Amelia.
Evie ignored the umbrella. “Didn’t they have a dinner reservation last week as well?” she asked the room.
There was a moment of silence as Amelia and Hat thought back. Last Friday had been their first full day on Honrad, and Amelia had spent the whole day tailing Ude, while Evie and Hat explored Shlordal Sha.
“Yes,” said Amelia after a moment. “To the same restaurant, actually. One of Ude’s partners mentioned the name, ‘Good Food Cooked by Id.’ I tailed them there last Friday. Seems like a popular place.”
A smile spread across Evie’s face. “Does that sound like a recurring reservation to you?”
“We’ll know for sure next Friday. If it is, it’s one they don’t want to be late to,” replied the umbrella.
Hat fluffed up his feathers in excitement. “You might be onto something,” he said.