The mood on the training grounds was one of uncertainty. The majority of the staff at the estate had been taken in for questioning after Kerrim’s attack and had yet to return. Elshana, Isidro, and Vashti had spent the better part of the morning cleaning up the mess left behind by Kerrim. Vashti’s questioning led Isidro to show her the book about the Seal of 1000 Years, which left her speechless. After a quick lunch, the group resumed tidying up the training grounds. When Isidro told Vashti what he planned to do next, he was met with disdain.
“You’re going to visit your father?” Vashti asked as Isidro rolled past her. “I don’t mean to question your judgement, but is that really a wise idea?”
“I don’t see what other option I have,” Isidro replied as he tried to straighten out a bent dagger. “Kerrim is going to be a bigger problem than I previously thought. For the good of everyone in Vekoba, I can’t delude myself into thinking that I can handle this without an army.”
Elshana looked up from reassembling a suit of armor. “Hold on, like the royal army?”
“I’m not sure what other army I could be referring to,” Isidro answered. “At first, I wanted to handle this problem on my own so my father would finally see me as a worthy successor to the crown. But now I see that a single, untrained shadow mage will be powerless once the seal opens and Kerrim gains full power.” He glanced at Elshana. “Try not to take it personally.”
“Why would your father see you as unworthy of the crown?” Elshana asked.
Vashti stiffened and Isidro offered Elshana a warning glare. “That’s none of your concern,” he said. “But you will be accompanying me to the palace tomorrow. You must show him your magic. I’m sure my father would like to know that at least one shadow mage still exists.”
“Actually, I was going to ask about that,” Vashti said. “I thought Kerrim removed all shadow magic from this realm in his quest to save Lipora. If that’s the case, how is Elshana a shadow mage?”
“I have two theories about that,” Isidro replied. He tossed a few broken spears into a bin. “The seal is about to burst, and given my observations, it’s clearly leaking bits of shadow magic into this realm. Where else could the shadow wolf Elshana fought have come from? My first theory is that shadow magic may have latched onto Elshana since she was a non-mage. My second theory is that the seal has been leaking the entire time, which means there’s more shadow mages than we know of in this realm. But since they’ve never been put in a situation where they had to use their magic, they think they’re non-mages.”
“Until I destroyed that shadow wolf, I had no idea I was a mage,” Elshana replied. “Part of me hopes your second theory is the right one. That way, I won’t have to be all alone.”
“So far, my first theory is the correct one because I have yet to find another shadow mage.” Isidro picked up a quiver of broken arrows and sighed. “What a shame. I liked these ones.”
The cleanup went well into the evening. By the time Elshana made it back to her bedchamber, she was exhausted. She indulged herself in a long, warm bath—a luxury she still wasn’t used to. When she emerged from the bathroom in a nightgown, she was surprised to find Mazidi waiting for her.
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“I made this for you,” Mazidi said as she handed Elshana a thin box. “Every mage needs one.”
Elshana opened it and found a red shonjan. She ran her fingers over the satiny fabric, savoring every second. “Thank you,” she said. “I never thought I’d get to own one of these.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Mazidi said. “I didn’t know I was an aqua mage until I was fourteen. When I finally got my shonjan, it was like finding a lost piece of myself.”
Elshana picked it up to put it on, but Mazidi stopped her. “Before you can wear it, you must go through the harmony ceremony. It’s an ancient tradition designed to bind a shonjan to its wearer.”
Elshana nodded even though she had no idea what a harmony ceremony was. “Whatever you say.” She admired her shonjan one last time before placing the lid back on the box. “So…what do I do first?”
Mazidi laughed. “You don’t do anything. Only a warrior such as I can initiate such a sacred ritual.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize,” Mazidi replied. “You were deprived of a magic education because you were thought to be a non-mage. If anyone should apologize, it’s the so-called ‘warriors’ that treated you like you were somehow worth less than them.”
Elshana sat on the ground and watched in bewilderment as Mazidi lit up three candles in front of her. “These are to be blown out one by one,” Mazidi said. “Before blowing each candle out, you must admit to an inner weakness.”
“I talk too much,” Elshana said.
“You only think that that’s a weakness because others have told you it is,” Mazidi replied. “But in your heart, you think its one of your greatest strengths.”
Elshana couldn’t help but laugh. “Damn, you got me!”
“I want you to dig deep and pull out three weaknesses that haunt you every day,” Mazidi said. “Only then will these candles be worthy of being extinguished.”
Elshana took a deep breath. “I’m bitter at my parents for disowning me.” Noting Mazidi’s approval, she blew out the first candle.
As the flame turned to smoke, Mazidi said, “The pain isn’t gone, but you were strong enough to admit the pain to yourself and to me. That’s the first step to healing.”
“I don’t appreciate the good things in my life,” Elshana said. “I spent years as a mail carrier hating every second of it, but looking back, I’m grateful to have had a warm bed to sleep in at night and enough food to keep my going. A lot of non-mages don’t have what I had.”
“You know what they say about hindsight,” Mazidi said as she pushed the second candle toward Elshana.
Elshana blew out the candle. “I wish I had more control over my emotions,” she said. “I let little things upset me when I should really just let them go.”
After she blew out the last candle, Mazidi smiled. “Now that you have considered your faults, do you promise to strive towards a better version of yourself?”
“Yes,” Elshana said. And she meant it.
Mazidi pulled a pair of scissors from her pocket. “It is customary for mages receiving their shonjans to cut their hair as a symbol of a new beginning in their lives.”
“Woah woah woah, hold on,” Elshana said. “This ceremony is usually performed with children. They don’t care about their hair. I do.”
Elshana didn’t see a hint of anger in Mazidi’s eyes. Instead, she saw understanding. “I didn’t want to cut my hair either when I received my shonjan, but I’m glad I did.” She pointed to her grey tresses. “And the best part is, it grew back.” She placed the scissors on the ground. “But I won’t cut it if you don’t want me to. The ceremony must be performed willingly.”
Elshana ran her fingers through her long, dark hair. It was still damp from her shower and smelled of sweet soap. She remained silent for a long time before saying, “Fine. You can cut it.”
With no mirror in sight, Elshana cringed as clumps of her beloved hair fell all around her. The torturous haircut lasted for about ten minutes. With a sigh, Elshana said, “I’d better look in a mirror just to get it over with.”
“Put on your shonjan first,” Mazidi said. “You’ve earned it by sacrificing a part of yourself.”
Elshana slipped the deep red shonjan over her shoulders and adjusted the waistbelt until it fit her snugly. With her heart pounding out of her chest, she willed herself to step into the bathroom and look in the mirror.
The girl staring back at her couldn’t be Elshana Devere. She looked too powerful. Too sure of herself. Mazidi had left Elshana with a generous amount of hair that almost touched her shoulders. Still, the shorter hair highlighted Elshana’s dark eyes and prominent cheekbones. Adding to the spectacle was the shonjan, a garment Elshana had never so much as pictured herself as wearing.
“I don’t look like myself,” Elshana said.
“You look like the mage you were always meant to be,’ Mazidi replied. “Embrace who you are, and I promise good things will come.”
Mazidi left the bedchamber, leaving Elshana alone to adjust to her new appearance. She was glad she let Mazidi cut her hair, but it still seemed wrong. The shoulder-length style made her feel as if she hadn’t fully surrendered herself to her magic yet. Elshana searched the bathroom until she found a pair of shears tucked away with the shaving supplies. Before she could allow herself to think, she cut the rest of her hair off until there was almost nothing left.
She had been reborn.