"I want you to help me destroy the demons that have infiltrated humanity. Will you do it?"

These words were bizarre in themselves. After all, everyone knew that demons, or rather the [Evil Spirits] that have been plaguing humanity for centuries are extinct, driven off the planet by centuries of effort by our stalwart defenders.

Humans are, after all, a strong species. Not in body, because we've got neither claws nor teeth nor poison nor super-strength, but in our ability to work together.

But to get back on point, the words were bizarre in themselves because they demanded the accomplishment of an already accomplished task. But that was not the full extent of their bizarreness. The truly strange thing was -

"You can SPEAK?!!"

 -that they were said by a cat. A beautiful black cat with a strangely elegant golden moon - the crescent - that was sitting on my table as if it owned it, and was looking at me with sternness no cat should be capable of.

"Obviously I can, boy. Surely you can see my mouth moving and eyes on you? Even a mundane sceptic would know what that means. But you, a student of such fantastic sciences, are asking me such a stupid question? Have I picked an idiot to be my champion and the saviour of humanity?"

That ticked me off. Speaking cat or not, nobody can insult my intellect.

"Well, Miss Cat, have you considered that as an intelligent - nay, brilliant - student of the fantastic sciences (as you called them), I may have a higher bar for accepting bizarre events than some idiot that doesn't know how many laws of logic and science you are casually defying? And what's with the snobbery? I wouldn't care at all if you decided not to make me your 'Champion' - whatever that means. In fact, the only reason I haven't thrown you out yet is because I'm not quite sure where this is going."

"A cautious man, good. You'll do a lot better than some gung-ho meathead that thinks nothing of risking his life for cheap thrills or the joy of battle. But your curiosity is still there. You're not one of those stubbornly mundane cattle either, the sort that only wish to live and die meaningless lives."

Needless to note, she hadn't actually answered my (unsaid) question.But before I could hint that I was still interested in how a cat was trying to hand me a quest like the king in some old myth, the cat thoughtlessly cut me off.

"And if you are still interested in how I, a cat, am talking to you? Forget about it. All you need to know is that I am the only one that is aware of the full extent of the threat humanity faces, and I would rather keep it that way. If only because I don't think your authorities would believe me, or even listen to me before throwing me into some bestiary or lab so that a mad Magus or scientist can poke at my brain and throat to figure out how I speak."

That did sound like something Thales's faculty would order. They were nice folks, but when it came to research, they were demons in human skin. Whether it was the natural or supernatural sciences, they were no less obsessive than... well, me. But that doesn't matter.

"Well, miss cat, then give me one reason for listening to your entire drivel. Rather than just calling the authorities and letting you do the aforementioned?"

"Other than the part about demons infiltrating your society?" The cat drawled lazily. I was starting to really hate that obnoxious smugness. A four-legged animal has no right to condescend to a human! Nothing does. We are God's favoured creations.

"Yes," I growled. Or at least, gave the slightest hint of a growl. I'm not one for showing too much emotion.

"Well, there I'll have to depend on your sense of charity being greater than the tiny little part of you that's thinking about how much your reputation as a student can be advanced by turning me in."

Damn it. The cat was clever. It had me figured out. I was thinking of turning it in, but the idea of what they would do to her... I am as ambitious as anyone who is forced to play politics to survive long enough to pass out. Every student is, or at least the ones that don't come here just for the degree (imagine that!). But there are some lines in the sand I will NOT cross. And sacrificing others for the mere hope of some recognition is beyond that line.

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And the cat, somehow, knew it. Which meant that my hypothesis about it being highly intelligent was correct. Alongside the one about it studying me, and wanting to use me in some way. This was... slightly dangerous. I forgot about the absurdity of a cat - of all animals - talking to me about demons and started to think about the implications of this revelation.

I could be in serious trouble if I didn't just turn it in. But at the same time, this cat needed me for something. And it wasn't for my opposable thumbs, at any rate.

"If you are looking for a warrior, and especially a warrior of justice," I said carefully, "I'm the wrong choice. I've barely passed combat classes, and barely have passing attendance for phys ed. There are others I can suggest that could fight better."

"Like that redhead friend of yours that beats up hoodlums as a hobby?" The cat asked casually. I did not give her the pleasure of freezing. All I did was to raise an eyebrow even as my mind worked furiously.

She knew. If I had turned her in, she could have just betrayed him to the authorities. It was a test, and I passed. Meaning this was a lot more obnoxious than she was letting on.

"I agree to your proposal," I said casually.

Much to my pleasure, it was the cat who froze - but only for the briefest moments.

Interesting. So she hadn't seriously expected me to fold that quickly? And yet she gathered up blackmail to make sure I'd have no choice? Or did she expect me to keep playing around, to even shrug off the knowledge that she could expose my friend's dangerous little hobby to the authorities? Which, of course, she could only do if I turned her in?

....because what she had done was to ensure that now I had an interest not only in not betraying her, but actively keeping her safe from detection. But none whatsoever in aiding her. 

Think of it. I could easily just capture her and keep her prisoner. She's a cat, and I have knowledge no normal human can or should have. I could keep her trapped in my tiny rented room for as long as I wanted. I have no incentives whatsoever to go along with her.

-unless this was all a verbal trap?

And now comes the paranoia. Why had she done that? Well, I already thought it through.

Option one, she didn't have any other choice. Her bizarre story was - in fact- the truth. There were seriously demons operating on Earth in the 21st century. And for whatever reason, she couldn't tell anyone about it. So she picked....me. The reasons were irrelevant for now, though I'd ferret them out soon, but the main problem was solved. She was just surprised her wild gambit had worked.

Option Two, she hadn't been blackmailing me at all. That bombshell she dropped was just to show me that she knew my social circle, and that betraying her had consequences. She was leaving me a choice to join, and there were no repercussions for refusing. So letting her go was a perfectly legitimate option. So she’s only surprised because my volte face seems too sudden.

Option Three...well, this one was a doozy. It was that she somehow believed that I wouldn't be able to capture her even if I tried. And that she could keep herself safe even without my assistance. She only told me she knew about his bizarre hobby to let me know about the extent of her abilities. In which case her surprise was just her not realising that I had considered the possibility.

The safest option, therefore, was to go along with her for a while. To let me see whether that was really blackmail, what she could do if I refused to go along with her absurd claims, and to show her that I was useless if those claims - in violation of common sense- were somehow TRUE.

I was already mentally planning out the ways I could bail on her if that last absurd eventuality proved true when she made a very strange sound.

It was a chuckle.

"You are exactly what I expected. Never mind, I can work with that. Now, my Champion, just follow me. I'll show you what your mission is, and how important your choice was towards our mutual interest of keeping humanity alive."

And with that cryptic remark, the cat jumped off the table and leapt out of the window. Of the third floor. 

Feeling like a total idiot, I threw on my (only) overcoat and followed her. Through the door, of course. I wasn’t an animal that always fell on its feet.  

But even as I reached for the coat, I realised I had just gotten pulled into something that promised to be really troublesome. 

Why do these things have to happen to me? 

I'm just a humble student of magic!

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NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which I Meet a Demonic Noodle Merchant.