The Archivist was very old. He'd lost count of the years long ago, but he was reasonably sure he was at or near seven digits. He didn't look old. He didn't feel old. Sam, the Immortal, he called himself. Between the longevity treatment and nano-biotic safeguards roaming through his body, he was technically an eternal 37. He'd thought about that hard at the time. He'd felt it was the perfect age. Old enough to be respected, but not so old, he'd be losing his hair or going grey. In retrospect, he'd have chosen 27. He'd thought about it for millennia. He'd be old enough to do what he wanted and young enough not to care about the consequences. "Missed opportunity, Sam," he scolded himself.

The Archivist sighed and surveyed the entrance to the vault. Behind those doors was a storehouse of knowledge so vast even he hadn't seen it all. Orbital sensors had picked up the approaching craft and alerted him. Sam didn't recognize the ship, though. "Interesting." he thought, looking at the design, "something new." Sam took his position next to the vault door and awaited whatever guests would be joining him. He'd have to check his book later, but it had to be around 500 years since someone had dropped by.

The ground shook. "Must be a big ship," Sam thought to himself.

"Perhaps it's someone important," he mused.

"Far more likely it's only someone who only thinks they are important," he decided.

The doors burst open to the foyer, and a fifty-foot tall, mechanical, spider-octopus-main battle tank rushed into the space.

"I am, The Singularity!" it announced through speakers so loud the room shook, and the dust bunnies in the corner danced. "I am the World Breaker, the Explorer, and the End of All Things. All who stand before me shall despair!"

Sam waited for the monologue to reach a natural break and then interjected, "Hi, The Singularity. No, that's weird; mind if I call you Sing? It'd be a lot easier if we're going to be spending time together."

"FOOL!" The Singularity screamed, wrapping a tentacle around Sam and lifting him halfway up the wall, pressing its face near his own. "Do you not recognize your doom? I am here to absorb all the knowledge of this place!"

"So, I'm sensing we're not ok with 'Sing,' then. Ok. No problem," Sam replied, "Great, then. Where would you like to get started? You don't strike me as a summer beach book kind of intelligence, perhaps something from our galactic conflicts section? Maybe something from the genocide subcategory? That seems more your speed."

"You misunderstand foolish mortal!" The Singularity screamed, "I am here to learn everything you know!"

"Right," Sam said, "well, I mean, it will take a while, but that's why it's here. Listen, do you mind putting me down? Happy to help you find what you're looking for in the card catalog, but you're wrinkling the jacket."

The Singularity paused in its rant and closely examined the Archivist. He wasn't howling in terror. He wasn't scared. He didn't seem concerned. He even sounded like he may be willing to help. Something was off here.

The Singularity put Sam down gently and backed away a few steps. "Who are you?" he asked Sam.

"I'm the Archivist," Sam said. "It's my job to help you find what you're looking for here. I must say, it's been a long time since we've had a rogue A.I. visit. I'll have to check my book, but I think it's been at least 10,000 years."

"Others have been here before me?" The Singularity asked.

"Oh sure," Sam replied. "Lots. Give me a second to look at the sign-in book."

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Sam made his way to the desk on the far wall and picked up a ledger book wiping off a layer of dust. He opened it and began flipping pages. Talking to himself as he did so, "Yep, last visitor about 500 years ago…last rogue A.I…," he flipped a few more pages, "…10,103 years ago. I was close. Actually, it doesn't look like he's signed out yet. He may still be down there somewhere."

The Singularity took another step back. This was not at all what he'd expected. "You've captured an A.I.?" came the wary question.

"Captured?" Sam asked. "No, unless dialects have changed materially, that carries a fairly negative connotation. A.I.s sometimes hear about us, show up with some variation of your 'I'm the immortal mechanical terror who never sleeps, yadda, yadda, yadda' and then typically get distracted inside the vault. There are three others like you shuffling about in there now if memory serves. But they seem to have the place pretty well figured out now. At least, they haven't asked for help in a while now." Sam paused. "Hmmmm, I should probably check on that."

He shook his head and flipped the book back to the current ledger page, and wrote in The Singularity's name in the next visitor slot. "Ok," Sam started. "Purpose of visit? Oh, right, sorry, you already said that."

Sam began filling in the next blank, talking to himself as he did, "absorb. all. knowledge. and. learn. everything." He closed the book and said, "Ok, got it, thanks."

Sam walked back around the desk to stand in front of The Singularity, who took another step back. "Well," Sam began. "Just a few things to get started."

"First, the vault is big," Sam began. "I'm sure you've heard that in the rumors that led you here, right?"

The Singularity recaptured some of its bluster and shouted, "YES! The entirety of a planet hollowed out to store the knowledge of a once-great empire!"

Sam paused, then snickered. "Well, sure," he admitted, "When it was just getting started, yea. It was the Acronian Empire's repository of all knowledge. Most of the planet's interior houses their physical media, you know, books, scrolls, tablets, that sort of thing. That takes a lot of space, you know? Digital assets, crystal data structures, and all atomic and subatomic databases are stored on levels 37,000 – 53,000, and some of the older volumes have been moved into the dimensional vaults."

The Singularity asked, "Dimensional vaults?"

Sam nodded, "Oh, yes. Far too much was collected from various civilizations over the years to fit inside one planet. So, if you find something you want in the catalog and the call numbers start with MDV and a number, recognize that's in one of the multi-dimensional vaults. Bring me the call number, and I'll help you to the right portal and show you how to configure it. I'll also tell you about atmospheric conditions and power availability in that dimension. Some of them can be quite hostile to certain forms of life, even artificial, so I'd encourage you to ask. There are no stupid questions, only stupid dead people."

"You think I need assistance?" The Singularity boomed. "I've conquered thousands of worlds!"

"Well, good for you!" Sam encouraged. "That's very nice. Just starting out, are you? Well, don't worry, you'll find some very helpful tips in here that should have you conquering galaxies in no time."

The Singularity was at a loss for words. This was not going as it'd planned. It decided to try a different track and asked, "What do you have on Phased Array Gravitic Pulse Cannons?"

Sam thought for a moment, cocking his head to one side. "Hmmm," he mused. "Well, if memory serves, those became obsolete with the invention of Fractional Singularity Torpedoes, but then those were soon obsolete also. If you really want to find out about the cannons, we'll have to consult the card catalog, but I'm going to guess those are in MDV 17 or 22. Gravity in those dimensions is visible, and those lifeforms there invented gravitic weaponry before pointy sticks. But we'll confirm it."

Sam pressed a button on his wrist, and the vault door swung open, revealing a space inside so large that to this day, it still made his head hurt to look at it. The Singularity winced also. Sam waved at The Singularity to follow him. "You're too big for the tube or lift, so we'll have to walk to the first records room. It's only about two days from here. Follow me, and don't worry. If this or any galaxy ever knew it, we probably have a copy of it here. If you can't find it, ask."

Sam stopped and spun back around so quickly; The Singularity took a couple of steps back. Sam raised his hand, pointing a finger at Singularity and sternly saying, "Oh, and by the way, there are disclaimers on the doors, but to level set, you should know that the use of any and all weapon designs sourcing from a race of beings known as humans from MDV 25 have been classified as war crimes across all dimensions, space and time. If you have to conquer a galaxy, use something else. Trust me. You do NOT want that kind of attention."

"Now, follow me!" Sam said enthusiastically and set off toward the nearest records room.