It's an awesome thing when a person is able to be their true selves. This is what John Miller had on his mind as he was leaving his office. The clacking of his shoes echoed as he navigated through the hallways of the hospital where he worked. Bright lights over head reflected off the white floor, masking the fact that the sun had already set hours before. With dark brown hair and eyes, with a stature at just under two meters, his presence would be that of a background character ii this were any other place. But in his place of work, that would be near impossible.

Walking past the nursing station he was flagged down by one of the nurses.

“Wait! Dr. Miller!”

He slowed down to face the person calling him.

“I just wanted to say how wonderful you were during that operation.. I don’t know how you do it.” Wearing gray scrubs, clipboard in hand, a women complimented him.

Dyed blonde hair, brown roots showing, shoulder length, tired hazel eyes, oval face, smile creases, stressed, name: Rachel. People enjoy being called by name. Smile and accept her praise.

For a brief moment, John studied the woman. Picking her apart till he recalled her name and flashed a smile.

“Oh, you give me too much credit Rachel. When you have a passion for what you do, doing the job is just in a day's work”

Wider smile.

Untrue to his actual feelings he broadened his smile to cover up his discontent. He was actually unsatisfied with how the surgery went.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know how grateful we are to have you around here. When that man from the car crash came in with those pinched and severed arteries… I didn’t know if he was going to pull through. When things get out of hand we know we can depend on you” Rachel said earnestly.

“I enjoy working with my hands, so luckily I’ve been able to grow them quite steady. With the quick prep work that you all do, it makes things easier. Remember that everyone plays a part of this team .The reason I can be a good ER surgeon is because I have people like you right behind me” John said.

Rachel hugged her clipboard and beamed at him “Thank you sir! That means a lot.”

I could have her… but first.

“No problem” John replied, “Just look forward to the end of the shift like I do that’s the light at the end of the tunnel. Speaking of which I’ll have to catch you tomorrow! I’m in a bit of a hurry, I have some stuff I have to do at home”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to hold you up! Good night Dr. Miller!”

“See you Rachel”

John walked off, escaping the nursing station, and made his way to the parking lot outside. He got in the car turned on the ignition and started the journey home. It was cool night. Letting down the window John reflected on is life. While driving home on autopilot.

It took him a long time to get to where he is today. It’s a miracle that he did. To be truthful, John really does have a passion for his career as an emergency room surgeon. However his reasons.. his reasons were perverse and grotesque. The reason he was unsatisfied with the surgery he performed earlier was because he had hoped he could watch the life leave the eyes of that man. He was envisioning it now. He wished to see the  deep red pools of blood collecting on the operation table then drip on the tiled floor of the hospital. He would check for a pulse, knowing he wouldn’t find one, feeling the warmth of the body leave as they called the time of death.

However, he couldn’t neglect his practice and intentionally sabotage himself. So he made his best effort and controlled the bleeding while he stitched the arteries together. At the very least he found a little joy in cutting the man open and “playing” with his insides.

At a young age he had always felt like there was some part of him missing. He felt like an outsider only having one or two friends in school, but apart from that, he would usually be on the swings by himself or off somewhere playing in the mud with a stick. It wasn’t until he was nine years old that he found out how to fill that missing “part”.

His first victim was a frog that he found on the sidewalk while he was riding his bike. He got off his seat and picked it up to play with, not uncommon for boys that age. It was a green frog with darker green markings on its back and yellow eyes. But for John the most identifiable trait of this frog was that it was quiet plump.

Seeing how plump this frog was, he set it back down on the sidewalk and decided to run it over. Building up a good speed, when the weight of the first wheel passed over the frog, a high pitch squeal sounded. The sound heard was something between the air being let out of a balloon when pinched tightly and a dog toy. When he got off to see what he had  done he saw the frog flattened in the middle of its body and trace amounts of blood splats on the sidewalk. John was a little let down expecting to see much more from how plump the animal was.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

His curiosity piqued, John wanted to try killing more animals. From then on his prey would usually consist of small animals like squirrels, rats and if he was lucky, maybe an opossum. The biggest kill he made was a medium sized dog from his neighborhood. He baited the dog to follow him into the woods with food and then strangled it with its collar watching as its shallow breaths grew weaker and weaker. Disemboweling it, with a knife he brought from home, the blood stained the dead dogs white fur. John breathed deeply as if he was breathing in the animal's life essence. This is his strongest memory from his childhood. After that, he realized how much trouble he could get in if he were to get caught once he saw missing dog pictures being posted on telephone poles.

From then on he decided the best way he could get his fix was by getting his father to take him hunting. Killing big game from afar wasn’t as fulfilling as doing it up close and personal, but there was one advantage. Gutting such a large animal like a adult buck was such a pleasure! He didn’t bother draining the blood so he could enjoy every bit of the primal act. With each organ he ripped out of its belly it felt like the empty place inside of him was being filled. He felt fully alive! The best part was pulling out the heart, squeezing it with pulses of red with blood washing over his hands. Running his finger along with the muscle fibers it felt smooth as velvet. Gutting the animal like this left the fear in the meat. John fed this fear, consumed it, making him whole. He knew there was something wrong with him, he was a psychopath.

During high school he took up wrestling as a way to direct his urges, but wasn’t a good idea. He ended up nearly crushing a kids throat in a choke hold. He wanted blood. John started doing research on anatomy wondering what would biologically happen if he had crushed the kids throat. This better helped him control his urges, and it was then that he realized of how great would be to become a doctor. Not to save lives, but to watch them fade away right in front of him.

Arriving home John came back to reality, coming off auto-pilot. He closed the window as he pulled into the driveway and into the garage. He bought a nice property with lake, with just enough land that he could have his privacy from his neighbors. Becoming a doctor served another purpose, with his six figure income he made a custom, luxurious cellar fit with a walk-in freezer to store the meat from his hunting. Entering his house he walked down a hallway he finished the floor with a marble tile ceramic. Opening the doorway leading to the cellar he made his way down the stairs as he heard the TV he mounted on the wall playing some comedy show. It was quite loud, but that wasn’t a problem. The walls were solid cement and he had some acreage so there was no way his neighbors would be disturbed by any noise made on his property, especially down in this cellar.

John grabbed one of  his sharpest carving knives and walked to the corner of the room, he was going to carve some fresh meat for dinner. In that corner was a mattress with a terrified shivering woman. The woman wore nothing but a shirt, some bandages on her left thigh, and a chain connected to the wall on that same leg. She was averaged sized, but it was hard to tell because she was hugging her knees curling herself into a ball. What could be seen, is that she had some nice shapely thighs on her.

She was definitely whimpering for him to let her go, or maybe “stop.. please..” but her voice lacked power, like she had already accepted her fate.

Meat always tastes best when you can taste the fear. John grinned.

With his knowledge of human anatomy he was going carver this woman piece by piece, keeping her alive as long as possible. He grabbed her right leg and prepared to carve off a nice slice of thigh. That was his favorite cut of meat. He loved the layer of fat that marinated the meat when it cooked over a fire.

Then there a loud scream!

The knife dropped and John was doubled over; both hands grabbing his head. Screaming at the top of his lungs, there was an excruciating pain in his head as if his mind was being shattered. Suddenly, he fell and lay on the floor limp. The woman, in disbelief, gave her captor a nudge. With no response she fumbled for his pants digging in his pockets for the key to her chain. Luckily, she found it on the same ring as his car keys.

The woman made her escape running up the stairs and finding John’s car in the garage. She drove to the nearest house to cry for help. The woman found help at one of the neighbors houses, they covered her in a blanket as they called the police. An ambulance came with the police and they questioned her.

Eventually John Miller was arrested by the police and sentenced to capital punishment for three bodies found in his freezer. When they went to search his house they found still in the cellar eating the raw body of a person while sitting on the the mattress while watching the TV. He pled not guilty, rambling about being a snake man. The jury believed him to be faking insanity and he was sent to prison anyway. He would later be given lethal injection and died a relatively painless death.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A life giving deep breath was taken and John regained consciousness. He was lying face down in a green forest. Still lying, he raised himself on an elbow. Looking around he didn’t recognize the scenery he was seeing. Panicking his heart dropped into his stomach.

I’m not in the cellar. WHERE AM I… NO! WHERE IS THAT WOMAN!

He scrambled to get up but his legs were not working as they should, leading him to fall flat on his face; the earth finding its way into his mouth.

Spitting it out.

FUCK! Did that bitch mutilate me?

He propped himself up on an elbow and looked down feeling for his legs with the other arm, but what he found was a scaly long tail. He made an attempt to pat down his body to reaffirm he still had arms. Again, he ate the dirt. Flipping over on his back he held his arms to the sky and studied them.

Ok.. I still have arms. They're scaly like a snake.. My hands.. They’re there too.. But my nails… They are like claws!!

Dropping his arms to his sides. Staring at the canopy of the forest, with bits of sunlight poking through. He thought to himself.

I’m a monster.