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The Arcane Paladin
Chapter 23 – Idiot Mages

Chapter 23 – Idiot Mages

Now, as I mentioned last chapter, the elven churches were not happy about the expedition into the Valley of Monsters. So, it shouldn’t be surprising that Eldar showing up with a dozen natives of the zone caused a ruckus at first, and then a full-blown riot when Eldar translated that one of the humans was claiming to be a chosen of one of their gods.

Apheros wasn’t exactly popular amongst the elves due to his status of being the god of trees, alcohol, and debauchery, and us dwarves were under the impression that he was one of the fallen gods. So, hearing a completely foreign set of tales about him, was calling into question the validity of the churches.

The chosen one, Oskar, was confused after Eldar started translating the elven stories to him, stating that the domains they assigned to Apheros was incorrect.

For starters, according to Oskar, Apheros was the god of nature, both plant and creature, not just trees. He’s only credited as being one of the creators of alcohol, due to one of his minor domains being healing, and although the debauchery was somewhat true, Oskar was adamant about pointing out that it was because Apheros’ other minor domains were fertility and the harvest.

Many were baffled by this statement, confused as to how their lore about one of their gods could be so incorrect.

According to multiple eyewitnesses, the confusion wasn’t cleared up until Oskar visited one of the elven churches of Apheros and started laughing hysterically at the sight. It took nearly an hour for Eldar to calm down the human, but eventually Oskar finally spoke to the angry crowd, “You’re all idiots! You’ve been pranked by the child of Apheros and Ignitious, the minor god Aelder.”

---

Travis

Burnsday, the 19th of Fifthmonth

“Time to wake up.”

I groaned at the intrusion of my dream, then gave out a startled yelp when cold water was splashed in my face.

“I’m sorry Travis, but it’s already 12 past.”

My body refused to follow my command to leave my nest of comfort, but I managed to at least sit up, “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

“I did, you immediately fell back asleep the first two times.”

“Ugh, I don’t even remember…”

“It’s alright, here… let me get the light for you.”

A small orb of Light appeared above my head, allowing me to see the interior of my room, and the pile of clothes on my chair.

Well, at least I was smart enough to have everything prepared.

---

Not surprising, I was the last to make it to the table with the others. I sat down with my breakfast and was given a bunch of concerned looks.

“Are you ok? You don’t look like you got any sleep last night.” Umm, rot… what was his name? I scratched Arc’s cross-guard. Oh, right, Adrian.

“You might want to answer his question…”

I tried to focus, “Oh, umm, sorry… what did you ask?”

The Ashman girl stood up and walked over to me, then placed the back of her wrist against my forehead, “No fever,” she looked down at me, “it’s rare for someone with high mana to get sick, but it does happen, do you want us to take you to the infirmary?”

Infirmary? Why would I? “I’m not sick, just a bit tired…, only got 4 hours of sleep last night.”

“More like three… but…”

I shook my head to disrupt Arc’s spell, there was too many people talking, my brain felt sluggish, and I needed to eat.

---

Arc

Worry creeped into me as Travis ignored his friends and started eating with a glossy-eyed expression. I must have underestimated just how much a lack of sleep would affect him.

The only thing keeping me from panicking was his friends at the table taking action.

Jethro looked to Mattius and Adrian, “Go get changed, I’ll make sure he gets to the armory so you two can dress him.”

The two left and Bridget moved in to get her orders, “Anything I can do?”

Jethro thought quietly, then did it out loud, “He’s barely sapient right now, he’ll never pass inspection. Unless…” Light flickered in his eyes and he looked to Bridget, “You said that you brought a bunch of herbs to decorate your room, do you have a spike-leaf plant?”

Bridget made a puzzled expression, “Yes, but there’s not enough time to brew a tea with it.”

Jethro smiled mischievously, “No need. My sisters told me that they used to chew on spike-leafs during morning drill if they stayed up too late the night before. It doesn’t last as long as when you brew it, but it’ll kick in fast and long enough to wake him up enough to pass inspection.”

Bridget nodded, then hurried off to her dorm room while Jethro slid an arm under Travis, “Alright bud, let’s go get you changed into your armor.”

Travis, reduced to a primal state, moved like a stubborn bull, but did start walking once Jethro forcibly man-handled him enough to accept the directions.

The three of us made it to the armory, but Travis became aware enough to start fighting Jethro’s grip, “I need to… Drozuk… help…”

“I’ll take care of him,” Jethro pushed Travis into a ready Mattius and Adrian, “you just worry about yourself.”

He then looked around and spotted a pair of students walking out, “Hold on! Can you two make sure that this guy’s orc roommate is ready? I’m not sure what happened last night, but Travis can barely stand from the lack of sleep.”

The two nodded their heads and turned around, leaving Jethro free to put his armor on. He was able to get the leg armor and the breastplate on before Mattius and Adrian joined in to help him finish.

Mattius and Adrian then lifted the passed-out Travis off the bench and out of the uncomfortable sleeping position he was in.

Adrian shook Travis awake, then spoke to the other two, “How is he this out of it? He’s acting like he hasn’t slept in days, not skipped a single night.”

Jethro cleared the way for the group, then answered, “One of the side effects of using mana, your body heals and recovers faster, but the need for rest increases. Most knights and mages can’t function without less than eight hours of sleep, and during a flood, may need up to ten due to the constant physical activity.”

Wait, really? How come Travis and I never noticed that? Oh, duh, I always encouraged Travis to get plenty of sleep, especially when he was younger, since I know I wasn’t the best about getting enough sleep in my previous life.

Adrian made a look of epiphany, “Oh, I thought I was just a heavy sleeper.”

Mattius chuckled a bit before nodding his head, “You can counteract it some by taking stimulants, but as soon as you amp up your mana, you’ll burn through it at a quick pace and be left even more tired.”

Jethro opened the door and smiled, “Speaking of stimulants…”

Bridget was standing outside waiting for them. She held up a leaf to Jethro, who grabbed it, then stuffed it into Travis’s mouth, “Chew it into a wad, then stick it under your tongue.”

Travis did as ordered and immediately began to perk up, “Ugh, what is this?” He cautiously gave it a few more chews, wincing with displeasure each time before his jaw stopped moving.

Bridget leaked a small laugh, “Spike-leaf, it tastes much better when you brew it.”

Travis looked confused, “Spike-leaf? Isn’t that an invasive weed? My village’s clerk used to bribe me with pulled pork sandwiches to walk the fields and pull out any growing patches.”

Wait a second… Travis never thought it was strange how the patches were always in the middle of the fields?

Bridget tilted her head, “No, it’s not native to Lakeland, and considered a low-grade narcotic, illegal to own more than a single plant without a license.”

Travis, now looking alive, scratched his head, “Huh? Why would she lie to me?”

Oh, Travis, you’re too pure for this world.

Travis’ friends shared glances, hinting to me that they thought the same. The group’s silence, however, was broken by a pair of students dragging out an unruly orc.

“Get yer hands off me!” Drozuk kept struggling to free himself from the grinning students. They were followed out by Drozuk’s posse and a number of other students who were all shouting at each other.

Jethro smiled, then turned to Travis, “Never got to ask, why weren’t you able to get any sleep last night?”

Travis let out a yawn, but managed to answer, “Drozuk didn’t get his uniform fixed, so I had to stay up late tailoring the sleeves back on. Took me a long time, since he ripped off his sleeves instead of undoing the stitching, and I let out the arms a bit, so he’d stop complaining.”

Jethro stared at Travis and his expression softened drastically before he quickly turned from the others to hide his face. He then grabbed a pocket watch from his belt to read the time. His eyes bulged, then he amplified his voice with Air Mana to ensure that everyone could hear him, “Hurry up! We only got a couple of minutes to report for morning drill.”

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Drozuk, finally free, growled at Jethro, “Shut it crybaby! I didn’t come here to get bossed around by some greenhouse flower noble, or to become a sycophant for the queen.”

“Then why the storm are you here!” shouted Mattius. “You’re here to learn how to become a mage and are even going to become a noble yourself when you graduate.”

Drozuk grinned, “Who said I was going to graduate?”

Travis looking stupefied, spoke before he could think it out, “But, you’ll be barred from becoming a knight for 12 years…”

“Why would I want to become some pompous knight?” Drozuk lifted his hands to properly preach to the crowd, “I’m going to learn everything that I can here, then bring back that knowledge back to the monster hunters, so that the real defenders of the kingdom don’t have to scrounge for table scraps.”

Jethro went slack jawed after hearing the orc’s statement, “You’re… You’re… an idiot!” He buried his face in his hands, “You’re a complete moron! I… I can’t…”

Different expressions spread across the crowd. All of the non-nobles were looking at Jethro confused or angry, and half of the noble born were sharing Jethro’s look of disbelief. The rest were like Mattius and I, visibly trying to figure out the missing context that Jethro wasn’t saying.

I was confused, I know it is illegal for a knight or mage to train a non-ward in magic, but what about monster hunters? They don’t receive a formal education in magic, even their spellcasters must cobble together spells from observation or testing. That “wizard” that visited the village way back technically wasn’t even a mage, just a skilled witch.

My concentration was broken by Sir Felicity marching over to the dorm and shouting at the students to line up for disciplinary action.

---

Travis

Hector was angry.

No, he was more than angry.

He was furious, infuriated, incensed, and quite literally steaming with anger.

I partially activated my mana sight out of morbid curiosity to confirm my suspicion, yep, red and blue mana was swirling around him like a tornado.

Sir Hector Hopkins, Drill Instructor Knight, stopped his pacing then glared, “It appears that I’ve been too lax with this group.” I could hear him barely able to restrain his voice into a calm, but firm, tone, “You were the only battalion that failed to have everyone prepared yesterday, but since it was only two individuals, I decided to be kind. That was clearly a mistake.”

Hector stood there, steam still wafting off him, “Take off your armor, you disgrace the kingdom by wearing it.” He then turned to Sir Felicity who looked a little scared of Hector herself, “Run them hard.”

My morning sleepiness was long forgotten and now replaced with fear, I quickly started taking my half-plate off as fast as possible, setting it into a neat pile on the ground. Hector barked to take off our arming jackets as well, so I took mine off, then marched over to Sir Felicity to prepare for our morning run.

Once the entire battalion was lined up, Sir Felicity ordered us to start running, taking an overly long path that looped and zig-zagged in on itself. We eventually made it back to our starting location, but something was immediately triggering my sense of dread. I darted my eyes around and finally noticed that everyone’s armor was thrown into a huge pile.

Hector stood nearby with a pocket watch in his hand, “Enjoy your walk?” He held up his free hand to the pile of gear, “You have 6 minutes to get your armor back on. Beginning… now!”

We stood there stunned for a few seconds before all dams broke loose and everyone scrambled to the pile. I got hit multiple times by flailing arms and tried to catch one of the pieces of gear that were being carelessly tossed out of the center.

I managed to catch a gauntlet, but after looking, the tag inside didn’t belong to me, so I shouted the inscribed name, then tossed it to a person that shouted back.

The six minutes flew by way too fast, and before I could even put on a single piece of armor, Hector boomed with a voice loud enough to quiet the group, “Times up, remove your gear. Sir Felicity, take them for another lap.”

Terror started to sink into me, was it even possible to get armored up that fast? And how many times would we get to try before people started to collapse? My friends were still running close to me, but I noticed that Adrian was breathing hard, and likely couldn’t keep at our current pace.

I tried to think of some way to help. Maybe press my hand on his back to help him keep momentum? No, that wouldn’t work, he’d just pass out once we finished our run. Think… oh, I know.

I amped up my Wind Mana, then shaped the accumulating ambient mana on my skin into a [Wind Aura], adjusting the rotation so that Adrian would get a tailwind and fresh, mana enriched, Air to breathe. It looked like it was working, and Adrian didn’t seem to be growing exhausted as quickly as before.

---

I black out for a second, but that was enough for me to lose concentration, making me slide and tumble down the side of the elevated path, barely able to tuck my arms in as I roll into the bottom of the ditch.

Ugh, what happened? I was concentrating on maintaining my [Wind Aura], but then my lack of sleep came back violently.

My face is buried in the dirt, and my body aches with pain from the multiple scrapes on my body. I try to lift my head, but my brain is so tired, and my emotions are a complete wreck. All that effort I put in last night was wasted.

I hear people shouting, then a [Message] reaches me, “Are you injured?”

My brain takes a moment, but I eventually recognize it as Sir Felicity’s voice, “No,” I groan while pushing myself up, “just a few scrapes.”

“You need to get moving then. No one is allowed to skip punishment.”

I nod my head, then take a few deep breaths and think. This is the fourth lap we’ve done, and we weren’t even close to getting armored up in time last round. There must be a way to complete our task… if only… wait, Hector doesn’t start the timer till after the group arrives, what if I beat the group there?

Too exhausted to think of a smarter plan, I amp up my Earth Mana and shape a pair of formations on my feet.

THUD. THUD. Thud. THUD. …

I sprint as fast as I can, using a mix of body enhancement and external manipulation to give each step the traction and power needed to catch up with the group. Once there, I start summoning [Water Orb]’s to fling at anyone in my way and force myself through the crowd.

Sir Felicity looks at me strangely but doesn’t stop me as I rush past. I keep running, recasting [Wind Aura] to help cool myself off and help with my breathing.

Eventually I make it back to the starting location, and immediately rush to the pile of gear, ignoring whatever Hector might be saying.

“Travis? Thank the gods and God, quickly, I got a solution. Start by lifting your leg and slamming it down like you’re casting an Earth spell.”

I do as Arc instructs, and the pile pulls apart in eight different directions due to the ground underneath sliding away.

“Good, now once everyone gets here, have them circle around the piles and keep passing gear to the right until they have their full set. Then just have everyone check the person to their left and right to ensure their gear is on correctly.”

I tap my right ear, and amp up my Air Mana so I can repeat Arc’s instructions. Everyone looks exhausted, and to my relief don’t argue with me as I shout out the commands.

We get into a large circle, and I start pulling gear, checking the tag, then passing it on. The plan isn’t perfect, some of the students who finished collecting their gear left gaps in the circle after leaving, but soon all the piles are empty, and everyone is changing. I put on all of my gear without tightening the straps, then start throwing on the pauldrons to the guy on my right. Once on, I bark at him to help tighten my straps, then turn to my left to double check that person’s gear.

I make him double check me, then scan my eyes for anyone who needs help, but suddenly hear Hector’s voice boom over the crowd, “Time’s up. Submit yourselves for inspection.”

My heart fails to calm down as the Logistics Corp shows up to inspect us. An elven woman gives me a pat on the chest to confirm that I’m good, then moves on to the next in line. My anxiety is fully peaked now, and I don’t even try to control my breathing.

One of the Logistics Corp officers gives a shout to Hector, then raises a thumbs up so everyone can see.

My legs turn to jelly, and I start to sway, barely able to hear Hector, “About time. Initiates, take a rest.”

I don’t remember sitting down, or passing out, but the giant grin on Hector’s face when he woke me to tell me that morning drill was over, made me feel like I was finally free from an unending nightmare.

---

Arc

I watched in horror as Travis went weak at the knees and tumbled to the ground.

“Travis! Travis… are you ok?”

Sir Felicity rushed over to check, then gave out a sigh of relief once she determined that Travis had merely passed out from exhaustion. She repositioned his armor and body to make Travis more comfortable, then walked over to Hector.

“Is he ok?”

“Just exhausted, we should probably let him sleep.”

Hector nodded his head, then let out a breath, “Thank god, Marcia would rip my head off if Travis injured himself on my watch.” He looked over the barely awake students before turning back to Felicity, “I suppose we better start interrogations. Know where to start?”

Felicity, who was staring at Travis on the ground, narrowed her eyes, “Quick question first. You said that Travis was self-taught?”

Hector raised an eyebrow, “Yes, according to Lancel, there was no one present in Travis’ village that could have taught him. Why do you ask?”

Felicity tapped her fingers on her tassets, “That spell he casted… [Earth Slide] … it’s a starter spell, but a multi directional one is something you’d only see an end of first-year student capable of casting…”

Crap! I didn’t think my spell was that advanced, I made it one that Travis could have done himself had he enough time.

“Maybe he has an affinity for Earth magic?”

The female knight stood there pondering, “Maybe… I guess I’m just surprised that someone so exhausted could free cast a spell that quickly.” She shook her head, then turned to Hector, “Back to the matter at hand, I didn’t catch the altercation, but I did see Drozuk and Jethro at the center of the crowd.”

Hector began to scratch his beard, “Guess we’ll start with those two.”

The two knights called over Drozuk to get his version of what happened this morning. It boiled down to him accusing Jethro of sending two lackeys to harass him while he tried to get ready. Hector and Felicity nodded along, but I could clearly tell by their unamused faces that they knew there was more to the story.

They then called over Jethro, who gave them a full account of what happened, starting with Travis staying up late to repair Drozuk’s uniform, the effort he and the others went through to get Travis ready and awake, then whispering to the knights that Drozuk didn’t intend to graduate. That made the two knights facepalm and call Drozuk an idiot, leaving me annoyed that I still didn’t know why.

Jethro was sent back to join the rest of the students in this world’s version of Tai Chi, sans Travis, who was still fast asleep. The two knights whispered to each other for a bit on what to do, but decided it was best to report the situation to Administration.

Dammit! Why all the secrecy? I move my focus back to Travis who’s resting blissfully, “When you wake up, you’re going to get some answers for me.”

---

Travis

Hector’s grin may not have been the same as Rabiria’s children’s, but it was still a welcome sight. He offered a hand for me to grab, and I was swiftly pulled up. I took a moment to shake of my bleariness, then started to panic when my head cleared up enough for me to realize that I must have slept through the rest of morning drill.

A hand was placed on my shoulder, and Hector spoke in a calming voice, “Relax, you’re not in trouble, but I don’t recommend making this a habit.”

I let out a breath, then tried to explain, “Sir, there’s no excuse for my…”

Pain emitted from my shoulder as Hector squeezed it, “You are part of a team now Travis, one of the many droplets in the cloud, running off on your own without backup or informing your teammates is unacceptable behavior in the army.” He released my shoulder, then gave it a quick pat, “You have made some reliable friends already, learn to trust them.” Hector then stepped away and nodded his head towards my friends.

Adrian and the others walked up to me, but I could barely acknowledge them while my mind raced. Hector was more upset that I wasn’t being a good teammate. Was that true?

A clap on my still sore shoulder jarred my thoughts back to the world outside my mind, I looked to the source and scratched Arc to find out it was Jethro, “Sorry, just got told I was being a poor teammate…”

Jethro raised an eyebrow, “You? Mr. I’m going to stay up all night repairing my roommate’s uniform even though he hates me?”

I shook my head, “No, the running ahead of the group without warning.” I let out a deep sigh, “Sir Hector’s right. If I did that during a flood or Fall Purge, I could get myself killed. I’m sorry guys, I’ll try to do better.”

Jethro grew upset, “What? You’ve been nothing but a model teammate to us!” He took a few breaths to calm down before continuing, “Day one you helped Adrian get ready unprompted, yesterday you invited me to sit with you despite everyone mocking me, and then you invited Mattius to partner with you during class.”

Jethro turned to Bridget with a finger raised, “Umm, not sure what Travis has done to help you,” she smiled back, “but I’m sure it was something both thoughtful and helpful.” He turned back to me, “And yes, you ran off on your own during drill, but we needed someone to think up a proper plan, we were never going to pass at our current pace.”

Guilt took a hold of my insides and squeezed; I wouldn’t have done any of that without Arc first prompting me. Hector was right, I need to stop being an idiot and become a team player.

I wiped my eyes, and spoke despite my voice cracking, “I don’t deserve you guys. I should have asked for your help instead of doing things on my own.”

Jethro threw his arm around me, and started leading us towards the dining hall, “It’s Day Three, we have plenty of time to learn from our mistakes.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”