Chapter 9.1: On the Cusp of Autumn
Carlita breathes in deeply, savoring the crisp September air on the rooftop. The earthy vegetable aroma of the greenhouse next to her mingles with the expectant notes of the changing season, perking a smile on her lips.
She’s always loved this time of year. She often wonders what it must have been like before the Fall, back when the Earth was covered with greenery that would turn to brown and die off every autumn. Did September have this same distinct scent back then? Were people filled with the same sense of finality at the end of summer, the same bated anticipation for the changing weather?
She looks to the greenhouse, her eternal summer garden, and sighs. She would never know.
Raz steps in close behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. His hands clasp around her midsection, locking her in a gentle embrace. “It’s like being on top of the world,” he says, nodding toward the panoramic evening view of the shrouded city from their high vantage point. He settles his chin on her shoulder.
This is a new development, too. She smiles and sinks back into his arms a little.
It’s been over a month and a half since Dead Boy ran off into the fog and Garden was expelled. Raz has been bringing her regular updates from Garden, running messages back and forth a few times a week. He tells her he’s in touch with a few people from the “underground rebellion”, as he calls it, although she knows it’s more like two or three Crypts tunnel rats who’re keeping Garden hidden purely because they refuse to take orders from Committee topsiders. But as long as it means Garden is safe, she doesn’t care what they call themselves.
Her thoughts dwell more often on Del Rey than his sister, anyway. He’s been gone so long. She knows he’s probably dead, but refuses to admit it. She misses him fiercely.
Raz has been her sole comfort. He’s come to her nearly every day since everything went all wrong, checking in on her to make sure she’s alright. No, she’s not OK, she’s let him know again and again. She lost her best friend and the boy she loved (she doesn’t tell him that part, but suspects he knows it anyway). She has nobody else topside who cares for her, and even worse, she’s still being forced to work in the kitchens every single day alongside colleagues she now knows for a fact would rather she were booted to the Crypts than suffer her presence another day longer. She even has to sleep in the same room as her detestable aunt every night.
She’s thought of going to Sunshine, seeing if she might take Carlita in, give her Garden’s old room—she could still work in the kitchens while living a few floors down, right?—but can’t bear to bring herself to broach the topic. Garden’s mother has lost so much, and even her own husband hardly comes topside anymore because he’s so busy keeping his daughter safe down below. No, better Carlita just suffers her own circumstances in silence than contribute to Sunshine’s worries.
But Raz has stuck here through it all, always by Carlita’s side. Sure, she’s the only other teen left in the whole ‘scraper, but that’s not saying much. He’s a courier after all—she’s sure he has every opportunity to meet plenty of cute girls down in the Crypts. Yet he keeps coming back to hang out with Carlita, day after day, and the two of them have grown very close.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
First came the comforting hugs, for which she was eternally grateful. She didn’t have anyone else to turn to, and doesn’t know what she would have done if he hadn’t been there for her. He’s always so good at lending a listening ear, and even when she doesn’t feel like talking, is content to just spend time with her.
A few weeks ago, their cuddles started getting a bit more … cuddly. Warm embraces, spending time just relaxing in each others’ arms. It felt good, and for Carlita, it was enough. She never tried to move things along more quickly than this, and thankfully, Raz didn’t push her.
Carlita knows that Raz is just giving her enough time to grieve, that he doesn’t want to step in too early after she’d just lost all hope for Del’s return. It doesn’t help that whenever she and Raz start talking seriously about anything, she slips up and mentions Del Rey in passing and makes things all awkward. But Raz doesn’t seem to mind, or at least silently makes it clear that he’s willing to give her all the time in the world before taking their relationship to the next level, letting her know with his presence that he’s here, he’s available, and he cares for her.
It feels nice. She just wishes he would hurry up and kiss her already, because she’s getting so tired of grieving.
“Oh! Before you go, I’ve got something for her,” Carlita says in a low voice, stressing the pronoun they both know means “Garden”.
“Yeah? Is it time for the weekly delivery already?”
She leads him by the hand inside the greenhouse, all the way to the rear of the room. She’s sewn a nearly undetectable pocket in the opaque green tarpaulin that runs along the bottom few feet of back wall, hidden low down behind a rack of planters. She stashes any contraband there that she wants Raz to smuggle to her best friend—today, it’s just a letter she wrote to Garden, but every now and then she’s able to send along a little extra something that she’s certain won’t be missed.
She knows she’s risking expulsion again by keeping in contact with her friend, but she’s beyond caring anymore. Anyway, she’s lucky that Raz, as a courier, has official access to make greenhouse deliveries, making his visits inconspicuous enough to avoid attracting undue attention.
“When did you last see her? Is she still ok?” Carlita asks.
Raz nods, keeps his voice low. “Just a couple days ago and yeah, she’s fine. Still as unhappy as ever about her living arrangements, but she’s hanging in there.”
Carlita tries to smile, but only manages a glum pucker that immediately makes her feel ridiculous.
“OK, well, just keep this safe,” she says as she passes him the letter. The paper is a crumbly bit of many-times-recycled pulp that she’s not entirely sure is even going to survive the ride downstairs in Raz’s pocket.
Raz promises he’ll do just that and says goodbye with a clumsy pat on her shoulder that silently irks Carlita all over again. He’s never able to stay for long because people might get suspicious, she knows. She thinks it’s stupid though—who cares if she’s got a boyfriend? Is he even my boyfriend, though? Ugh!
As he heads back down the long flight of stairs that will carry him to the Crypts, Carlita wishes for the hundredth time that Raz would just go ahead and sneak a peek at one of the letters she writes to Garden. Even a glimpse of their girl talk might clue him in to her developing feelings. But no, he has to be the honorable type.
Boys can be so dumb.
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