Chapter 37
This Violation of Spiritual Law
Alyndia was dabbing some brown paint onto the canvas when Gerald appeared at the doorway of the backroom studio. He leaned against the doorway, admiring the concentration in Alyndia’s expression as she moved the tip of the brush against the canvas. Rose stood nearby, watching her work.
“That’s it,” Rose said. “Make those strokes a little longer—there you go. That’s better.”
After a few more strokes, Alyndia took a step back to survey her work. “How’s that?”
“Good. Keep doing that.”
“Hi, Sweetie,” Alyndia said to Gerald, adding a few more dabs of brown paint to the canvas.
“I don’t want to disturb you.”
“You’re not disturbing us.”
“We’re just wrapping up for today,” Rose broke in, putting her brushes and paints into a battered metal lunch box.
Alyndia put a few more dabs of paint in one section of the canvas, then she dropped the brush into a nearby glass of turpentine.
Gerald walked over to the canvas to get a better look. On it, he saw a partially completed portrait of a bowl of fruit, modeled after a bowl that sat on a table by windowsill. “Not bad,” he said.
“Your wife is very talented,” Rose said. “She’s one of my best students, especially with oil.”
Alyndia smiled. “Rosie, you’re flattering me.” She dipped a rag into the jar of turpentine and wiped the paint off her hands. She gave Rose the fee for the lesson from her purse. “Next Thursday, same time?”
“Sounds good,” Rose said, smiling, at once noting that Alyndia had given her a generous tip. “See you then.”
Rose left the studio through the large sliding glass doors that opened into the yard. She exited through a gate at the side of the house as Alyndia scrutinized her rendition of the bowl of fruit on the canvas.
“What do you think?” Alyndia asked Gerald. “Does it look like a bowl of fruit?”
“Yes. It’s much better than I could ever do.”
“She’s a great instructor, Gerald. I’m so glad I found her. You really ought to study with her.”
“If I ever take up painting, I’ll do that.”
Gerald sauntered around the room while Alyndia took off her smock. There was a stack of canvases leaning against the wall. He casually went over to them.
“How’s this studio working out for you?” he asked, looking through the canvases.
“It’s perfect. Thank you for setting it up for me.”
“I’m glad to put this room to good use again. Elise used to do her sewing projects in here. She liked it because it was so bright.”
Alyndia noticed him looking through the canvases. “Oh, don’t look at those. I was just fooling around.”
He pulled one out to examine it. It was a pastoral meadow of vine-covered trees on a gentle slope with a pale green sky above. Orange dots that looked like flowers peppered the vines on the trees. The edges of the canvas were unpainted, with some lines sketched in pencil faintly visible.
“Green sky. Alien flora. I can guess where this is from.”
“That was one of my experiments.”
“Is the sky really that dark a green? It’s very dark.”
“Actually, not really. It’s supposed to be dusk, but you can’t tell that, I guess. By the way, that’s a real place. It’s near the cottage where I was born.”
“Yes?”
“Uh-huh. It’s about twenty leagues east of Tollingwood in a region called Nembara.”
“Wow.”
“I call that one ‘Dusk in the Vdalian Meadow.’ I’ll repaint it someday when I get a little better.”
He looked through a few more of the canvases. “I cooked us some dinner. Pasta tonight.”
“Great. I’m hungry.”
“I also wanted to tell you that I got the package from Amazon today. For all it’s worth, the chamber is nearly set up.”
“You don’t sound very pleased.”
He laid the canvases back against the wall and turned to her. “Rosie called you ‘my wife’. Didn’t you tell her that we’re not married?”
“No. Why should I?”
“What did you tell her about us?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Why not?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. The topic just never came up. We spend most of our time talking about painting technique and such, not much more than that.”
He nodded slowly.
“Well, I’ve been thinking—what do you say we get married?”
“You want to marry me?”
“That’s what I asked. What do you think?”
“Are you serious?”
He frowned slightly. “You don’t sound too excited by my proposal.”
“It’s not that. I’m just—I mean, it’s so sudden. Is this because of what Rosie said?”
“Not really. Actually, it’s been on my mind for a while.”
“Well, I have to admit this is unexpected. When we were first reunited, you talked as though you didn't want to continue your relationship with me. You were afraid that Connie would come back. Now you want to marry me.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it over the last few weeks.”
“If your feelings were true, you would have loved me from the beginning.”
“You don’t think I love you?”
She took his hands in hers. “Gerald, I have no doubt that you love me, but I have to go back to Cerinya someday.”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“I know.”
“If I marry you, what will happen when Connie comes back? You’ll be married to her. Is that what you want?”
“I’m not thinking about Connie—it’s all about you and me. I just want something more of you to hold on to before you go. I just want our relationship to mirror in reality the same that I feel in my heart.”
The eloquence of this statement touched Alyndia. She felt her eyes become moist. Overcome with emotion, she let go of his hands and turned away.
He embraced her gently from behind. He pressed his body fully against hers, stroking his cheek against her head. “So, what do you say? Shall we tie the knot?”
“I can’t, Gerald.”
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
“What will you do when Connie comes back?”
“Divorce her, of course.”
“You would marry me just so you can divorce her?”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
She turned to face him. “Gerald, isn’t marriage sacred to you?”
“Of course it is.”
“But listen to what you’re saying. You want me to take an oath to remain with you til death do us part when we both already know it won’t happen.”
“So?”
“Don’t you see the problem?” she asked, incredulous. “You can’t take an oath when you already know beforehand that you can’t fulfill it. It’s tantamount to a lie. Our marriage would be founded on a lie.”
“But the oath would be just between you and me. We could break it if we wanted to.”
“Gerald, where I come from, an oath means something. You don’t make oaths lightly, and when you make one, you keep it.”
“But they’re just words here. Marriage vows nowadays are more of a tradition than anything else. Nobody takes them seriously anymore.”
“That’s very cynical of you, Gerald. Honestly, I’m surprised to hear you say that.”
“Look, Alyndia. If that’s the only thing that’s stopping you from marrying me, we can take those words out of the vows. In fact, we don’t even need vows. We can just have a simple civil ceremony, sign the papers, and be done with it.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Gerald. I don’t feel right about it. In any case, I’ve already done enough damage to Connie’s life. She even told me that herself.”
“She already knows we’re together. Right?”
“Yes. And her former partner knows. Her sisters know. They all know I’ve stolen Connie’s body, and now you want me to parade myself around to these people as your wife.”
“She’s not the only one who has suffered. Think about all of our suffering. Think of all the sacrifices you and I have made to be together. Me, losing my job at the university; you, having to endure living in the psychiatric ward, and everything else we’ve gone through in between. For all of that, I think we deserve to be together. We deserve to live the kind of life we talked about when you were still in that chamber. Do you remember the dreams you shared with me? Those were my dreams, too. They still are. Maybe you pity Connie. That’s all right. But let’s not forget that we’re all in this mess because of what she did. She shattered our dreams. She ruined everything for herself and for us. It’s all her fault.”
“Let’s not go there again, Gerald,” Alyndia said. “She didn’t know what she was doing at the time. She knows better now, I’m sure. In any case, I forgive her for it.”
His face turned red with anger at those words. “You say you forgive her for fucking up our lives?” He slammed his fist down on the table nearby. The loudness of it startled her.
“Look, Gerald. Until she returns to this world, you have me one hundred percent. For all practical purposes, I am your wife. Think about that. And just so you know, I would never live with a man who wasn’t my husband in Cerinya like I’m doing with you here.”
“Did you ever think that Connie herself wouldn’t mind if we got married? Maybe you should ask her for permission the next time she visits you.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“She might approve.”
“I don’t think she would.”
“But suppose she did?”
Alyndia sighed. “Well, if she approved, that would certainly change things, but I would never ask it of her.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t feel right about it. And then there’s still the matter of the oath.”
“The oath, the oath, the oath! I’m tired of hearing about the oath. We can get married without an oath.”
“It wouldn’t be a marriage without an oath,” she retorted.
“Only because you say it wouldn’t.”
Alyndia could tell by his tone of voice that he was feeling increasingly exasperated with her. The feeling was mutual.
“I don’t get it, Alyndia. You are here, and she is there. Why can’t you just leave things the way they are?”
“It’s against the code of ‘Spiritual Law.’ An anomaly has occurred, and it must be corrected.”
“Says who?”
“Says the Law—and the Law is immutable.”
“We don’t have such a law here on Earth.”
“Well, we do in Cerinya.”
“Where is Cerinya, Alyndia?” He held up his hands. “I don’t see Cerinya here. Do you?”
“That doesn’t matter. I know it’s real. You should know that too.”
“Okay, then tell me how I can get there.”
“You can’t get there from here.”
“Of course you can’t. Because now you live on Earth. Here, there is no Cerinyan magic, no Cerinyan culture, and no Cerinyan country. For all practical purposes, the laws of your world are invalid here.”
“But I am here and Connie is there, and both of us had to traverse the Wild to get where we are. The Wild extends to Earth, just as it does all other possible worlds. Remember? That’s how we were able to meet. That also makes Connie and me subject to Cerinyan Spiritual Law.”
“Why don’t they go after Connie? It was her fault for putting on the bracelet.”
“Because they know she’s innocent. They know she had no idea what would happen when she put that bracelet on.”
“But I explained to her what the bracelet was and what to do with it, and she chose to ignore me.”
“Why should she have believed you? You don’t have here on Earth the magic we have on Cerinya.”
“How come you keep defending her?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll admit that I didn’t like her at first, but I’ve come to realize that she’s not the bad person as I made her out to be. I understand her better now. Strangely, as time goes on, I feel like I’m becoming more like her. It could be the entanglement of our spirits is causing aspects of our personalities to merge.” Alyndia went over to the window and looked out. “Although I love you, Gerald, I sometimes regret what we did. It was so foolish for me to attempt that spell. Because of it, I have caused injury to someone of this world, and I destroyed an irreplaceable Cerinyan artifact in the process.” She turned to face him squarely. “To put it bluntly, I fucked up.”
“Did you ever think that Cerinya never existed? Maybe your life there is just a figment of your imagination, a false memory. Maybe you really are Connie Bain, and you just had a mental breakdown.”
She realized he was grasping at straws now. “Don’t gaslight me, Gerald. I had enough of that in the mental institution.”
“Then tell me something: Why did you come to this world if you always planned to live and think like a Cerinyan? You knew it wouldn’t be the same. Maybe you should have stayed in Cerinya.”
Alyndia felt the anger rising in her breast. “Now you’re talking to me as though I’m your mail-order bride, and I don’t like that.”
“Did you just call yourself my bride? I feel like I hardly know you anymore.”
Alyndia heard the despair in his voice. She knew his anger was borne of his love for her, but she could find no words to comfort him or ease his pain.
“Yes, Gerald. I suppose I have changed somewhat. I imagine that Connie has too.”
“So what will become of you and me? What about our plans?”
“Whether or not we get married isn’t going to change the reality of what’s going on in me and what must be done. Do you understand?”
“All right. How will it be done? Who is going to fix the problem? You can’t cast spells here, and you said Connie herself can’t do it. How is it going to happen?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Elenglea will try again. I never got the impression that she liked me. She would probably be glad to do it if it meant spoiling my happiness. My main fear, though, is that retribution may await me when I return to Cerinya. I may even be imprisoned.”
“You’d prefer to go to prison in Cerinya instead of living with me as my wife here on Earth?”
“No, Gerald. I don’t prefer that. And don’t be an ass. But when the time comes, I won’t have a choice.”
“Why? Because of the law? As I see it, Alyndia, it all comes down to your choice. You could do what’s best for us—or you could follow the law. You’re choosing the latter.”
“What makes you think I have a choice anyway? As I’ve told you, Connie’s soul and mine are entangled. Part of me exists there as she does here. While we’re in this state, I can be found easily with the right tracking spells, and certain bad spells cast from there can affect me here. In fact, if Connie wanted to make my life difficult, she could find some high-level wizard who could cast a spell that would make me sick or insane without affecting herself at all. So far, I’m glad she hasn’t. You should be glad, too.”
Alyndia noticed his downcast expression on hearing all of this. He wiped his eyes. His emotion touched her. She reached out and squeezed his forearm in order to affirm her love for him and to show she sympathized. He shook it off. This hurt her.
“Gerald, I’ve explained the situation the best I could. I’m sorry you don’t understand.”
“To the contrary, Alyndia, I understand perfectly. I just can’t accept it. Let’s just end this conversation for now. I’ll go set the table, and we’ll have a quiet dinner together. You said you were hungry, didn’t you?”
“Gerald, it’s not that—”
He abruptly turned away from her and walked toward the door. He stopped at the threshold, looked back at her, and said, “By the way, we’re having pasta tonight.”
“You’ve already told me that.”
“I hope you’re hungry.”
“Not as much as I was ten minutes ago. Maybe I’ll skip dinner this evening.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
Alyndia wiped her eyes. “Gerald, listen to me. I cannot say what the future holds, but there’s still a good life for us to live in the here and now. Let’s not argue about this and enjoy whatever time we have left and make it good.”
“Yes, Alyndia. Let’s enjoy our life together—for as long as CIA Agent Connie Bain and the Spiritual Law of Cerinya permit us to,” he said in an ironic tone.
She moved her lips to speak, but before she could utter a word, he had disappeared from the doorway, leaving her alone in the studio.