Chapter 3
Bond
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Forlorn soul carried by the shame of life
In the depth of heart stabbed by a cursed knife
Gushing blood be the oblation to sin of thy being
To be vanished into love would he lean
Imploring, beseeching for mercy from unseen
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I did not get the chance to tell her about the event that occurred three years ago, when I, for the first time, realised about my curse. She didn’t ask me either. Maybe it’s not necessary. So I decided to not mention it.
She told me to sit on the floor, knees bent.
'For you are cursed, so there is nothing you can offer for the bond to be formed. In your stead, I shall offer a part of my being.'
'I can offer my life, can't I? Even though I am cursed, I still have life. So I guess I can offer my life to form the bond.'
'Yes. You do have a life. Your life isn't cursed. But offering life shall mean your death. What's the point of getting rid of your curse if you are going to die regardless?'
'Won't my soul be freed?'
'Yes. your soul will be freed only to lose its existence. You will be forgotten, erased. It's worse than being cursed'
'Well, maybe. But for my cause you shouldn't sacrifice the part of your being. And I am willing to offer my life so the bond be formed, as freedom is what I desire most'
'So be it'
She nodded. She looked confused. She looked curious. She stared at me with eyes full of wonder and questions.
'I can read the minds of all humans. And I know their real being. But your curse inhibits my power. All my verses of incantations take a detour when I try to reach your mind. I don't like reading people's minds, but yet I am so curious about yours. Ironical'
'What do you want to know?'
'Let's start the ritual. After I complete chanting, we shall enter a labyrinth domain where you shall offer your life and in return we shall form the bond. You shall be alive until your soul is purified and free of the ruins. The labyrinth is a mystery that discloses itself only to entrants. I cannot help you in the labyrinth. To effectuate the ritual of our bond, Labyrinthitis domain is a must. Since labyrinth is where the enciphered conundrum of curses are sheltered. And you will enter the labyrinth to know the nature of your curse. You will be aided by the trapped part of your soul there. And I shall be waiting for you at the dead end. If I were the one who was offering, you wouldn't have to be the entrant. I don't even know if it is just a labyrinth or the network of it. This is very perilous. You must have to meet me without losing your 'self''. If you are lost, your soul shall be consumed by something which will remain a mystery for eternity.'
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'I have to tell you something. I am a coward. I don't think I ca---'
'Yes, I know that very well. Do you not wish to be the entrant?'
'Perhaps I don't have any other choice as I don't want you to be a sacrifice for my sake.' I said, 'Say, if I don't make it to a dead end, what happens to you?'
'I can exit the domain anytime I wish to'
I nodded. 'I will do it'
The rain hadn't stopped yet. She was on the couch. She asked me to come near her. I did and sat before her with joined bent knees. I looked up to the clairvoyant. She held my head, touched my forehead with her fingers, cantillating some verses in an unknown tongue. She asked me to keep my hands on her lap, palms facing upwards, making a cross.
She had her eyes fixed on me, not my eyes, not of my body, but she peered into me from the void.
'O Frail soul, for you to be cleansed, I, Yana, bid you to enter the transition world, a world of supernal, of all Naeryi, for we will all help you to attain your aspiration.'
In the blink of an eye, she cut the radial artery of both my wrists, so precisely done. I could see her nails penetrating the vessels walls, and tearing them apart and the blood gushing out in that very slow moment of silence.
I didnot even have the moment to screem my pain out, when I started to bleed out at a rapid, intermittent rate in a spray , coinciding with the pulse, I felt lightheaded. I was in a state of physical and mental collapse. I bleed a lot in such a short time interval.
I felt severe pain. I felt an attack of severe, sharp, facial pain with a coincident burning agony in my lower arms and wrists.
My senses jerked, my consciousness glitched, and I forgot my existence.
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Everything vanished. Everything existed.
Everything is distant. Everything is close.
Everything feels me. I feel nothing.
Everything is nothing. I am everything.
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Each of my senses failed to perceive the locus of my existence. But, with the rhythmic beat of my heart, and the collisions of something, maybe the waves, helped me perceive the impalpable reality. I was in the midst of all the chaotic powers of creation. Rather the creation which only our senses perceive. I wasn’t in my body. I felt free. The song of life felt to be paused, and now the hymn of truth orchestrated with all the purity. Surprisingly, I had my heart in me.
Evanescing into the surreal consciousness, would in some way, appear to be nonsense. Nevertheless, instinctual reasoning ought not to be disregarded.
‘No thoughts in the void’ I heard a shrilling sound in my mind.
I recovered my senses, as if it was a boon I never had. Full of chaos and terror, I sensed the real absolute pleasure, as if that fraction of second stretched forever, until I realised there was no time at all in the void.
‘You intend to plunge into an inescapable route of fate. Before you take it, I bid you welcome into my own World. A transition cosmos of Infinity. World Of Supernal’
I did not have any means of replying, I am abstract.
‘Are you abstract? Is it conceivable?’
‘I don’t know,’ I replied. It was just a thought of my being. Hasn’t everything become inconceivable at this moment?
‘Maybe it's just a dream?’
‘My instinct denies it.’
‘How would you distinguish reality? Through your instinct? Can instinct lead to truth?’
‘I would not know any of it. I am merely lost. May I ask —’
‘Needless to say, I am here to give succour, strength and guidance to thy forsaken cursed soul. Yes you can ask’
‘Is death the end?’
‘If you wish to cease, it is the end of the evolved consciousness of your life,’ shrilling the void, the voice continued to penetrate the walls of my mind, 'Death, to you, would be the kindest of happenings. It shall free you from your life chain. Your never ending pain would be brought to an end. But do you really seek death? If so, why be the entrant to the ordeal. Ask me, and I shall end you!'
'Would you end me? Is it possible for me to cease from existing?'
'I hold the power of creation, power to rule the Infinity, power to destroy uncertainty. Just ask me poor soul'
'Make me disappear, like I never existed before'