“Bro, bro.” He heard a voice called him in his dream. It was Albert’s voice, so he woke up. “Ah, you’re awake.” Albert smiled seeing Rein opened his eyes. He rolled his sleeve and showed his wristwatch. “Wanna get a breakfast?”
Rein smiled too. A forced smile devoid of emotion, but in this situation, he should smile. “No, I don’t feel like it.” he could not feel hunger or pain, and any food tasted the same in his mouth. There was nothing driving him to eat but his own awareness of his need of food.
“I insist!” Albert grabbed both of Rein’s shoulders and forced Rein to look into his eyes. Albert’s gaze was burning serious, filled with anxiousness and worry. “I know you don’t want to eat but you have to.”
Rein didn’t notice his own condition, but he looked worse than horrible. His eyes sunken and folded under. His gaze unfocused. Skin rough and body thin to the bone. In fact, he was worse than during the night of raid three days prior. Unlike then, Albert couldn’t feel any will to live coming from him. He worried what Rein would do if left alone.
The glass door on the far end of the hall opened. Friede came with a plastic bag on each hand before shoving both to Albert. Inside were chicken and fries. “Friede, thanks.” Albert thanked her.
“Oh, don’t mention it.” She sat on the empty seat next to Albert. “I know you guys won’t eat unless someone brings it and shove it down your throat.” She turned her face towards the opposite side of the hall where a glass window to a room showed a woman connected to multiple life-support machines. “How is her?”
“The doctor said her life isn’t in danger, but her consciousness … we’ll have to hope and pray.” Albert answered while chomping down his chicken.
“It’s my curse, isn’t it?” Rein suddenly spoke up. He asked the doctor after Iris came out of the emergency unit. Aside from mild dehydration, hypothermia, and the cut wound she suffered, there was nothing wrong with her condition. The emotional stress and shock she had to endure could contribute to her condition but Rein believed there was more to it than what they diagnosed.
Albert and Friede looked at each other before answering Rein. Rose had briefed them the situation after everything calmed down, but not to Rein. “That’s the Dollmaker. He cast failsafe magic on Iris in case his plan went wrong. It’s not your fault, Rein.” Albert answered.
Arthur and Rose told them it was, doubtless, a curse. Most likely coming from Rein instead of the Dollmaker, but there’s no way they could tell Rein the truth. Albert made Friede, Arthur, and Rose swear to not tell Rein which they all agreed to without much problem.
“Is that so?” Rein seemed utterly unconvinced by Albert’s lie. Though his recent attitude and flat tone made it impossible for anyone to guess what he was truly thinking or feeling. “Should have killed him when I had the chance.”
The Dollmaker disappeared when Rose and Albert came. There were traces of blood where his body was, but they never found him. Though the injury Rein inflicted and the intense police patrol shouldn’t allow him to get too far.
“Rein!” Friede stood up and faced him with reprimanding eyes. She put both her hand on the hips and leaned towards him, casting her shadow over his whole body. “How can you say that?! Apologize.”
Rein raised his brows. “Apologize? To who?” His poker face and emotionless voice seem so unapologetic, almost mocking even. Of course, he never meant that.
“To who?” She pulled his head up. “To me, to sister, to Albert. How can you talk about taking someone’s life so easily? How do you think we feel when you talk about something like that?” Water filled Friede’s eyes to the brim.
It had only been three days since she was rescued. Despite everything, she tried her best to appear tough and act as if everything was normal. She tried to cheer him and Albert, knowing that the two of them couldn’t operate without her or her sister. Even as far as taking care by buying them foods and drinks. But she was still a normal girl. No, she was a very powerful girl. If it was anyone else, they would be in a hospital bed now and would need months of therapy before worrying for others. But there she was, worrying for others instead of herself.
Friede hugged him tight and buried her face on his shoulder. “I don’t know if sister will ever wake up again. You’ve been acting strange lately, Rein, I don’t want to lose you too.” She drenched his shoulder.
Rein stroke Friede’s hair with slow and careful movement, unsure if this was the right course of action. “I’m sorry.” It was monotone, but it was enough for both Albert and Friede.
Friede let out a cry of surprise when her body was pulled backward suddenly. She, Rein, and Albert instantly turned their face towards the man who pulled her. But before anyone has the time to react, a fist flew to Rein’s face.
Albert stood up from his seat. “Hey! What the fu-“ But Rein grabbed his arms stopped Albert from doing anything unnecessary.
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“It’s fine, Albert.” Rein’s left cheek was red. Looking up, a man of tall stature and rough face, of blond hair and blue eyes stood before him. “Uncle.”
The tall man fixed his black business suit and wiped his right knuckle. “Get out! And never get near me or my daughters again!”
“Father!” Friede protested and struggled to get her arms off his grip.
“Friede, it’s fine.” Rein gave her a reassuring smile and stood from his seat. “I’ll just go home.” Without wasting a moment, he turned his body and walked towards the exit door.
“Wait, Rein!” Friede reached her free arm out and called him, but Rein didn’t look back.
“You, shut up!” Schmidt slapped her cheek, silencing her.
Friede, with her red cheek and teary eyes, looked at Albert with pleading eyes. No need for words between the two friends. They knew what they must do. “I’ll excuse myself.” Albert stood up and chased after Rein.
“What an asshole,” Albert complained outside the hospital. “Now of all time, he acts like a father.”
“I don’t think hitting your own daughter is acting fatherly.” Rein replied.
“Yeah, but at least he actually shows up in front of them. Wait, does that makes him better or worse?” It was no secret between the friends that Iris and Friede had no connection with their father. He gave them money, a place to live, and someone to help them with their daily lives, but that’s it. They only ever met him once a month for a formal family dinner or when he attended a business that needed their presence. Their father didn’t use to be like that, only after their mother passed away.
When they reached the hospital parking lot, Rein turned. “Thanks, Albert, I can take the train back home.”
“Don’t mind it… hey, want to grab lunch at my house. Your father not home, right?” Albert had a hunch that if he let Rein return alone, he wouldn’t eat. “I’ll send you back after that.” He pulled out his motorcycle key from his pocket.
If he still had his sense of taste, he would have accepted that offer immediately. Albert’s father was a world-famous chef, though he didn’t work in a restaurant. “What about your father? He doesn’t know I’m coming.”
“It’s fine. Dad’s on a business trip overseas.”
“That means I can’t taste your father’s food. What’s the purpose?”
“Heh, I’m not Iris or Friede. You told me you can’t taste anything remember? There’s no different.” He rode his motorbike and started its engine. “Come. It won’t be long.”
Rein sighed and shrugged his shoulder. With everything that had been happening and with his current condition, he wanted to organize his thought alone for a while. But it seemed Albert won’t leave him alone. “Fine, but I have to return before dark. There’s a lot of stuff I need to do.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Albert patted the seat behind him. “Hop in.”
Albert took Rein’s word too literary and only allowed him to return home when the sun had set. He arrived at home when the sky turned dark.
Rein cleaned up his house quickly before sitting at the dining table. Exhaustion had left him when Iris went into a coma, but there was a lot of things he had to think about. The first thing was ...
Stabbing himself on the hand.
He stabbed his own palm with zero hesitation and full force. The tip of the knife even showed up on the back of his hand. As he expected, he was completely devoid of fear and pain. His condition was much worse than before.
To prevent further blood loss, he quickly bandaged his wound. Dying was not his intention, not yet. After that, he burned his hand, dip it in ice, and electrocuted himself. Each time he felt neither pain nor the tiniest bit of the sense he should have. There wasn’t even the slightest bit of hesitation in his action.
He sat back on the sofa in the living room with both his arm bandaged. Maybe he went overboard, but he had to confirm it. That he couldn’t feel most senses and emotion anymore. Good thing his vision, hearing, and touch still functioning, but it was a matter of time. But now he couldn’t even fear that bleak future. He couldn’t dread it, or despair because of it. Stoic and calm, his heart still like a rock.
But even with no emotion, the image of Iris going cold in his arm, going weak because of his curse, etched itself deep in his mind. The images played out in his mind again and again. Each time it played out, his sane mind told him to feel guilty, but his heart could not. The disparity between the two was maddening and ripping him apart from the inside.
He opened his eyes and watched his surrounding. His house was quiet tonight, far too quiet.
“Lee. Come out.” He said with contempt in his voice. There was no hatred or anger in his heart, but he remembered who he supposed to be angry at and acted accordingly. “I know you want to come out. I know you want to tell me and boast and mock me that no matter how hard I tried to save those I loved, I will only end up hurting them. Come out then, take this chance.”
He waited and waited, but no matter how long, no answer came. Lee never showed up, nor did any ghost or abnormality that used to haunt him. After he left the Dollmaker to die and carried Iris to the hospital, neither the spirit nor the hallucination ever bothered him anymore. Even ‘she’ on his shoulder had gone silent too.
He used to hate those spirits and abnormalities, but now they disappeared, he was alone with nothing to do. If only his heart could miss them, maybe he would.
Rein stood up, heading to the drawer in his bedroom. Inside sat a piece of paper that wrote a few years ago. Hs will. There were times when he lost his reason to live. But when he thought of Iris and father Constantine and Friede and Albert, he pushed those suicidal thoughts deep inside and kept fighting on for dear life.
Now he felt neither guilt nor fear not sympathy even for them.
This was the best choice. He should have done this a long time ago and spared dozens of innocent lives from horrifying end. And if his hypothesis was correct and Iris went into a coma because of him, maybe it would be lifted after his death. If not, at least he wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore.
Well, that wasn’t exactly the case either. He would hurt them one last time, but that was it, one last pain and no more. It would be hard for Albert, Friede, father, and Iris when she woke up. Unlike him, however, they had a life to live. They had friends other than him. They had things they could do, enjoyed without him. And for Iris, this world was filled with men so much better than him. No need to look far. He was a burden in each of their life. Life would be so much better for them and for everyone else if he hadn’t approached them in the park many years ago.
He put the paper on his table. Someone would find it after his death. Maybe the police when they search his house for the cause of suicide, maybe Albert or Friede or even father Constantine if he finally decides to enter this house. Whatever the case, he had done everything he had to do.