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The Alien
Chapter 4 — Understanding at Last

Chapter 4 — Understanding at Last

I stopped out the front of the house. Being stuck in there again would be difficult, but it would be a whole lot more interesting now that Jarath and I could understand each other.

My vision clouded and I sucked in a breath.

Oh no.

The hood pressed against the wound on my head and I became light-headed. I’d been okay up till now, but I’d overdone it. The Viper was further away than I remembered.

I needed to get inside.

As my foot touched the bottom step, the world tilted sideways and I grabbed the railing. Jarath caught me around the waist before I face-planted the steps. “Hey, I got ya.”

I opened my mouth, but couldn’t form any words. I needed to lie down.

“Are you okay? Can you walk?”

I nodded. Bad idea; my head pounded in response.

Jarath helped me up the steps and toward the front door as my hood slid off. “Let’s get you inside and out of sight and lying down on something.”

I tried to walk into the house, but my legs didn’t want to cooperate. Once we’d stumbled inside, Jarath carried me to a lounge chair and pushed some of my hair behind my ear. “Are you okay?”

No.

As he carefully put a cushion under my head, I blinked to try to focus on his face. He was genuinely concerned about me. It seemed strange that an alien would care when I knew so many people of my own race wouldn’t give a damn.

I took some slow, deep breaths and felt better. “I think I’ve done too much walking. My head... It’s too much.”

His features relaxed a bit. “Yeah. You’ve gone overboard on your first outing.” He smiled and I couldn’t look away from that dimple. “But I can understand why you did it. It’s so much easier now that we can communicate.”

I watched his mouth form the words and it was disconcerting that the movements weren’t in sync with what I was hearing, but I’d get used to it. That was always the weird thing about using translator chips, but it was either that, or not understanding him at all. I went back to watching that dimple as I smiled back. “It makes things a lot easier.”

Stop checking him out!

“Can I get you anything? Do you want a drink? Something to eat?”

I shook my head and regretted it as the room spun. I closed my eyes. I needed to stop doing that. “Um, maybe I should have a drink.”

“Done.” He left quickly and returned from the kitchen with a cup of water.

I sipped the liquid and sighed. “It seems I’m always needing your help.”

I bit my lip. This wasn’t like me. I was always the strong one, always helping others.

It was frustrating, but needing help always meant being closer to Jarath and I liked that. I liked the way he felt and the way he smelled of cologne and a hint of smoke from the fireplace. Being close to him made my heart race. I just wished I could be close to him when I wasn’t on the verge of passing out. That way I could enjoy the closeness.

Alwyn’s tear-streaked and terrified face flashed into my mind and it was like a punch to the chest. I pushed it away as fast as I could.

Part of me knew that these thoughts about Jarath were a bad idea. He was from a different planet. Hell, a different solar system! I couldn’t be having these thoughts right now. Or ever. I needed to get my head on straight.

My priority was to get off this rock and back home. I needed Laith to fly in and take me away, to rescue me like he always did — every time I got myself into trouble. I seemed to be really good at that. This time, though, took the cake.

I closed my eyes and although I thought I was too wound up to sleep, I drifted off fairly quickly. Maybe I should have been worried about that.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

After I’d slept the rest of the day away, we sat together on the lounge talking about our home planets and their cultures.

Jarath turned to face me. “In your culture, what does a guy do if he’s attracted to a female?”

“Well, if he really likes her, he has to wait until the Seventh Day Parade, strip naked, run through the streets ahead of the parade, and profess his undying love to his intended.”

“Really?” The look of horror on Jarath’s face was priceless and his voice kind of squeaked.

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it.

“What? What’s so funny?”

I couldn’t answer right away. Once I was able to speak, I said, “I’m just messin’ with ya. That doesn’t happen.”

His face visibly relaxed and I chuckled.

“You’re mean,” he said.

I smirked. “I know.”

Talking to Jarath was so easy. We seemed to be able to talk about anything and he made me laugh. I hadn’t had that for a long time. It made me drop my guard, the one I’d built around myself after losing my mate on an exploration mission in the Rookwell Quadrant.

It was a small planet covered in jungles and swamps and little else when it came to usable land. We’d been exploring an area that was particularly dense, but found no evidence of the previous civilisation that was rumoured to exist about fifty years before.

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In the early afternoon on the third day when we were heading back to our ship and I was looking forward to a nice cool shower to rid myself of the sweat and mud and leaves on my skin, Alwyn gave a shout and disappeared from view.

My heart was in my throat as we rushed to him. “What happened?”

My blood turned to ice as we reached him and saw that he was chest-deep in mud.

Laith put his arms out to stop anyone else falling in. “Get back!” He turned to Alwyn. “Hang tight and don’t move. We’ll get you out of there.”

Darx handed Laith a rope and Laith tied a loop in it in half the time it would have taken me.

I watched in stunned silence and it was an effort to breathe. This could not be happening.

Alwyn sank a little deeper.

No.

Laith tossed the rope to Alwyn. “Put this around yourself and we’ll pull you out, okay?”

Alwyn nodded and as he put the rope around under his arms, he slid down further.

My hand flew to my mouth. “No!”

His eyes snapped to mine. “It’s okay, Babe. You guys will get me out of here in no time.”

He tried to smile, but he wasn’t fooling me. I could see it in his eyes.

I tried to return his smile, but my bottom lip started trembling, so I bit it so he wouldn’t see.

The three guys in our group had started pulling on the rope before I registered that they’d even moved and I stared blankly as they grunted with the strain.

Their feet slid in the leaf mulch and the mud and they almost joined Alwyn a couple of times. I looked back at him to check how far they’d managed to pull him out and sucked in a breath. He was actually in up to his neck!

“NO!”

Why wasn’t it working?

I grabbed the rope and Hallie joined in too. We pulled and Alwyn even tried digging the mud out from around his body.

Nothing worked.

“Lilliana?”

I looked into his eyes through my tears. His head was the only part of him that was visible now.

“It’s okay.” He turned to the others. “It’s okay. You can stop. I’m not getting out of here.”

There were protests and more pulling on the rope.

“Stop.” Alwyn sighed. “Just stop. It hurts too much.” Everyone stopped. “Lilli? I love you, Babe. I will leave this universe with love in my heart. But I want you to promise me you’ll find someone else.”

“NO!”

“Yes. You need to. Not right away. But one day. Don’t be alone forever because of me. I want you to be happy.”

“No.”

My voice was barely audible and I stood and sobbed. I couldn’t even hold him.

“Promise me.”

“I…”

“Please. You should be happy. You deserve to be happy. Promise me you’ll be open to love again.”

His eyes pleaded with me and I finally nodded.

He actually smiled through his tears. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I—” My breath hitched. “I love you, too.”

He started to sink faster and as his face went under, I screamed, then sobbed until there was nothing left in me and the mud had settled and he was truly gone.

The hardest things I’ve ever had to do — besides leaving that jungle — were telling Alwyn’s parents and attending his funeral service without a body.

I sucked in a breath.

“What? What is it?”

I looked at Jarath as his words ripped me from my memories. “Oh, sorry. I was just off in another time and another place.”

His eyebrows were pulled together. “Wanna talk about it?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t bare that wound. Not yet, anyway. Maybe I’d tell him one day. I just shook my head.

Ouch! I’ve gotta stop doing that!

He didn’t push it and the relief washed through me.

“I’ll just check on the oven.” He pushed up off the lounge and headed out to the kitchen and I realised that my cheeks were wet.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

After Jarath had cooked us a delicious meal, I asked him to show me the injection site for the translator chip. I was still worried about how he could react after I’d carelessly sprayed the medications on it without thinking.

He smiled. “Yeah, sure.”

He moved closer to me on the lounge so that I’d be able to see behind his ear. I was suddenly fully aware of how close he was and how good he smelled. I took a deep breath and willed my heartbeat back to normal. It wouldn’t obey me. I needed to concentrate on what I was doing. Focus! Be professional. This is a medical thing.

He pulled his hair aside and I hesitated. I’d have to touch him to pull his earlobe out of the way so I could see.

Just do it.

His skin was warm and he sucked in a breath as I touched him. I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. Was he repulsed by me? Was I too... alien? Or was it just that my hands were cold?

Focus!

I inspected the entry point. It looked good. Almost healed. A sigh escaped me as relief washed over me.

“Well? What’s the verdict, Doc?”

“Doc?”

“Yeah. You know. Doctor.”

I grimaced. Of course. “Oh. I see. Yes. It looks good. It’s healing well.”

I must have sounded like a complete idiot.

Jarath turned to me. “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? I’m an idiot who didn’t think before she acted. “I used the medical sprays on you without thinking about whether it would be safe for you. So I was worried that it might’ve had some bad effects...” And I need to stop staring at you like this...

“Oh. Okay.” He smiled. “It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’d do if…” Alwyn’s face flashed into my mind and my chest tightened.

“No. It’s okay. I get it. No harm done though, right?”

I wasn’t really sure what to say after that. In the silence that followed, I straightened up to put some distance between us. My face was hot. I needed to keep my thoughts clear. Thoughts of Alwyn raced through my mind. I couldn’t get close to someone yet… or maybe not ever. My heart couldn’t take it right now.

I couldn’t look at him. Things were getting a bit awkward.

Jarath cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, how did it happen? I mean, how did you end up crashing your ship?”

The heat spread down my neck to my chest. Crashing because I did something stupid was so embarrassing and I was dreading explaining it to Laith and the others, but I thought I might as well be honest with Jarath.

I took a deep breath. “It was my fault.”

His eyebrows rose. “How?”

I explained how I’d flown too close to this rock and paid the price for it as I squirmed in my seat.

He listened intently, which didn’t make me feel any better.

“I treated my leg,” I continued, “but didn’t realise how bad my head was, probably because of how bad it actually was. The trip from the ship to here is just a blur. I don’t know how I even made it without passing out.”

He gave me a lopsided smile. “That must have been—”

We both froze at the sound of something crashing to the ground outside. Jarath sucked in a breath, then sprang into action and grabbed his pistol. The pistol that I’d disabled the night I arrived.