- There are a variety of ways to awaken the power resting inside us, though we are not sure of the process itself. For us, it is as natural as breathing. As for outsiders, things are reduced to trial and error.

Not all shall be revealed, and there’s no guarantee it will ever be. It is the nature of the world – what makes it bearable instead of boring are precisely the pieces missing.

- What are the methods?

- I said I would teach you… I’m rephrasing it. I’ll lead you into awakening, but in the end it’s up to you to discover your powers… First of all, which tone is your voice? The guardian must have told you.

Tone… For it to be pitch black, it can’t be a good thing, although having a brightly shining one, like the first, could be worse. Regardless, they will be able to observe it eventually if I am to use this power. It would be different if they had deep knowledge of the process, in which case I could make use of it to avoid progression during my stay, then learn it another time.

It is a situation I can’t lie. However, I can still bend it a little.

- He said it is dark. What does it mean?

- For us, the tone of our voice means how many are the doors leading to a meaningful future. The darker the tone, fewer the doors, the brighter the tone, more paths to take. For outsiders, the tone means everything…

Storyteller stopped talking, her face suffocating on what I can describe as an eerie feeling creeping through her skin. It is not disgust, nor awareness, it is an anxious fear: something I don’t recognize when it surfaces inside me, for I just recently remembered it, but that I can clearly discern from another’s expression, regardless of its features.

This fear, in particular, is one shared by all of humanity. Fear for the unknown, the knife hidden in the darkness that only exists as a possibility, pointing towards the heart of the feeble and rogue on the mind of the strong.

Accounting for her own silence, she proceeds.

- It means everything for you… Instead of opening the doors, it selectively picks a door and leads you to your destiny, almost as if… Set in stone. Like I said, the voice can’t change, and that only adds to the fact outsiders can’t change, they can’t deviate from their path, even if they wish for it. They don’t choose, they are… Chosen.

- In that case, does light and darkness mean nothing for me?

- It certainly means something, she speaks now composed, and the thirst for knowledge makes for most of the reason outsiders aren’t openly antagonized. Before they can judge, they want to know, they have it as a need.

I watch silently as contradiction piles on her chest. It is not that outsiders bend the rules, nor that we create our own rules… I would rather say we simply operate under a different set of them. Such a simple answer… Although she reached this point, she refuses to accept it.

The true terror of not knowing manifests itself. My existence is a huge threat, but the puzzle doesn’t look complete. There is context, but it is lacking. I could always be wrong, however – I was before, why wouldn’t I again?

- Then, what shall be the starting point?

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

- Most of you can awaken through contact with your inner self. That is, your personality, your emotions, feelings.

This method I can safely erase. It may be true that the me before meeting with the order and my current self are fundamentally different and that the real me, instead of dead, is struggling to get out – but it is an invalid point. I am very introspective and know myself all too well; every single day of my life is filled by an endless stream of thoughts. Even with the sudden burst of fear and anxiety, those feelings are rapidly numbing.

But just coming in contact with your inner self doesn’t seem to be the answer. I would guess that awakening comes from a strong burst of emotion, a sense of realization, enlightenment…

- That method won’t work for me, what are the other options?

- Another broader option is through fighting.

- What kind of fighting?

- Fighting as in general physical strain. People who awaken this way take much longer to mature their powers and will be constantly at risk of losing their lives.

If my previous hypothesis is correct, that should be a high level of adrenaline. No, it would be too easy to do so; all I would need is an injection. Strangely, she said physical strain and not physical activity, and from what I know there are a number of warriors and assassins with the ability to give themselves away at battle, like possessed by something, not burdened by their thoughts and either blind from rage or completely shut down of reality.

I sincerely don’t know if I can achieve such a state.

- That seems possible, but are there other ways?

- There are many strange ways… A rough estimative would be that 70% awaken through the first method, 25% through the second method, and the last 5% awaken under unknown circumstances. I’ve only ever met one outsider with this pattern.

While saying that, Storyteller calls on the person with ear plugs. His eyelids, upon closer look, hold stitches so tiny that can’t be noticed from a distance.

- What? He asks indifferently.

- He goes for Oliver, and is part of the latter group. He can only manifest his abilities with his ears covered and eyelids lowered. Also strange is that the only words coming from his mouth are whispers, almost no one is able to hear him speak our way.

The young man steps in and, mildly annoyed, speaks on a crooked smile.

- I hate the noise you produce and loathe the colors of every single word muttered. But it is better than turning back…

- Are there any more cases you know of? I asked hoping for more clues.

- There is the case of a girl called Mabel who chose to return, she was able to speak only through a feathered mask. Again, for reasons unknown…

From the information I’ve received, I can reorganize the awakening types in those three:

1. Synchrony: the awakening is triggered by the feeling of accomplishment that comes from rediscovering oneself.

2. Disruption: the awakening is triggered by utter disconnection from reality or embodiment of carnal desires, both stemming from battle.

3. Catalyst: awakening is only possible if a set of conditions is met.

- I will start with the second method, then. How will I achieve it?

- A tiny one like you… It will take a very long time…

On the verge of protesting, I ponder on his words. I’ve completely forgot that right now my body is that of an eleven years old, and though I certainly have strength and agility in me, it shouldn’t be sufficient. In fact, I’ve never been on my prime condition.

So that I can attain disruption, I should throw myself at daily training before engaging a battle with my life on the line. Even then, there’s no guarantee I’ll awake… But, no matter how I think of it, I can’t envision success on this tactic, and the answer comes right away.

There is not enough danger. In order to reach this state, I need an unimaginable amount of thrill, a level of adrenaline linked to a situation that will further drive me into either an empty, hollow space, or into the pinnacle of madness. Will I be able to go on with a plan that has not a speck of reason?

I think maybe, and yet again I find myself wrong… My feelings aren’t rapidly numbing, they are certainly there. However, I am neither suppressing nor bolstering them. They simply appear out of nowhere, without previous notice.

And this feeling I’m getting now… It is much stimulating. It is pleasurable, funny should I call? It has a mix of fear and excitement… Doesn’t matter, it feels good and I want to keep it that way. The plan that I have in mind, it will bring out the maximum amount of drive in the shortest amount of time, that I’m certain of. The results are binary: either succeed and live, or fail and die.

I will destroy the order from inside out.