"My Mother groaned, my Father wept, into the dangerous world I kept", William Blake
Everything was dark, devoid of all light but oddly warm. Michael was still slightly miffed about the whole mocking tone of God's words but he soon forgot it as he considered that holding a petty grudge against 'the creator' and all that was one of the few sure fire ways of dying... Again...
Although after following this line of thought for a while Michael considered how God had actually reincarnated him and as stubborn as Michael was he would have hated to go past the pearly gates without having another crack at life.
*Sigh*, 'How long is this going to take!', Michael screamed in his mind. He knew that he was literally being reborn but still couldn't God do something to cut down the waiting time.
It was at this moment that Michael noticed the slivers of light at the edge of his vision, 'Finally!', he thought loudly in his mind.
'...'
'...'
'HOLY SHIT!!!! NO ONE TOLD ME BEING BORN HURT SO MUCH!!!'
---
And after half an hour the pain was over, 'I will never be reborn ever again.'
Michael promised himself darkly.
---
It turned out that babies have a really hard time opening their eyes as Michael found out first hand as he wanted to see what his new 'mother' looked like.
On his twentieth attempt, around five minutes later, at opening his eyes... He still failed. But succeeded in managing to hear the talk going on in the room.
"I don't know what to say Miss. I've almost never seen a case where the child doesn't cry.", Came a low calming female voice to his ears.
"Is anything wrong!?", Sounded a wildly concerned voice in response. 'I assume this voice is my 'mother's.', Michael concluded to himself.
"No, not that I can tell... It should be perfectly fine.",
"Thank goodness! Can I hold him?",
"Yes of course... Here you go... If there isn't anything else, I'll be on my way then.",
"Thank you.", said 'mother' sincerely.
There was a noise of someone coming in from outside the room and then a rough male voice was heard, " Catlyn! Are you alright? How's the baby?",
"I'm fine, just a little tired. As for him."
"Him!", the man's voice sounded extremely excited.
"Yes Honey, it's a boy.", now the woman sounded happy too. 'What the hell is going on!', Michael could still not open his eyes.
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The man, Michael now presumed to be his father started cheering and jumping around for joy. Some more people could be heard coming into the room, clapping and congratulating the man and his wife. Quickly Michael got bored of his not being able to see and forced himself to reconnect with mana in order to open them manually.
Feeling the space around him Michael tried to get a feel for the mana particles in the air touching his bare skin and instead of absorbing them, which would've immediately shown due to an awakening (Imagine explosions and bright lights), he just forced the mana particles with his will to open up his eyelids.
Two seconds later Michael fainted.
"Oh it seems he's fallen asleep. I will return later Catlyn after I prepare the naming ceremony. You get some well deserved rest.",
"Yes dear I think that's for the best."
---
An unknown amount of time later Michael woke up. Apparently his body was now adjusted enough to the air because he could now open his eyes without much trouble.
Looking around Michael could see that he had been placed into a well made cot with tall walls to stop Michael from escaping, 'As if I could escape with my current physical strength.', Michael cursed.
After practicing and moving each of his limbs around for a while, Michael figured he could probably stand on his chubby baby legs, however, as he was half way up by lifting himself on the side of the cot the door in the corner of the room began to creak open and a male and female walked into the room.
'DAMN YOU GOD!!!! YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS IS FUNNY!?", Michael could only hear faint chuckling as a response to his thoughts as Michaels new Mother and Father walked into the room.
Both suspiciously in the form of big, humanoid, pigs.
---
"Ga ha ha ha ha *munch* *munch", God laughed whilst shoveling pop corn into his shadowy mouth.
An angel walked up to the side of the throne, as it came closer it could be recognized as Gabriel.
"What is so funny? People are trying to finish paperwork you know.",
"Sorry, sorry", God managed before he started laughing again.
However suddenly he went serious,
"Gabriel you need to understand something.",
"Yes my lord."
"Listen well...
Reincarnating an old man as an Orc is fucking hilarious... Ga ha ha ha ha!"
...
The laughter resounded throughout heaven for many hours.