“Daddy, why do people keep leaving us and telling us to go away?” asks Punkin, so abruptly without warning that it startles Cer, breaking the perpetual state of scanning for danger while walking.
“Why do you ask?” responds Cer, pausing midwalk to look at Punkin who is now drawing circles in the dirt with her foot.
“It makes me sad. Do they want us around? If I like people, I want them around.” responds Pupu as she looks down at her feet, afraid to look up at Cer’s response.
“Do you want everyone around? You don’t like everyone do you?” answers Cer as Cer squats down to Punkin’s eye level to lift her chin and look into her eyes.
Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Pupu responds with more curiosity than sadness. “I love everyone. I want everyone to always be around. I love them and they don’t have to be sad. But they don’t want to be around us.”
“Pupu, would you love them any less if they didn’t like us?” Inquires Cer while studying Punkin’s heart and spirit’s response through her aura before she can even respond.
“I love them because everyone needs love.” responds Punkin sadly, realizing that not everyone will love her back.
Placing a hand on Punkin’s shoulder, Cer offers a gentle warm smile of reassurance. “ We love because that’s who we are. Whether or not they love us back should not change our love for them. When they feel hurt, love becomes hate or pain that hurts, so they fear us sometimes. People hurt what they fear.. Just because we love people, does not mean we let them hurt us.”
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“You mean like Nin? She was sad. She tried to make us dead… She was alone and afraid of us so she wanted to hurt us?” asks Punkin, welling with sadness by the thought of Nin feeling unloved and alone.
Picking up Punkin and perching her on one forearm, Cer begins to walk while comforting Punkin. “Yes. Just like Nin. She was hurt because she felt I left her all alone. Sometimes people make stories in their heads because making a story up that hurts them is easier to accept than not knowing why someone would leave.”
Listening while still pondering why people have to feel sad, Punkin rests her head on Cer’s chest with her hand stroking the back of Cer’s head to soothe herself as they walk.
Rubbing Punkin’s back with the other hand to soothe and comfort her, Cer continues to answer Punkin’s curiosity. “People who are hurting will hurt other people without knowing it sometimes. They are just trying to find their place in the world or protect themselves and sometimes they forget they have the power to hurt people they care about. The pain someone feels when they are hurt is just as strong of a feeling as the love they felt before it hurt. Just like hurt people will hurt people, people who are healing, will heal others.”
Sighing, Punkin responds. “Does that mean we heal everyone?”
Chuckling, Cer responds while being mindful not to dismiss Punkin’s curiosity. “We do what we can Pupu. There are a lot of people that need healing- much greater than we can provide. Everyone deserves love; it does not mean they are entitled to our love.”
“Who do we love?” asks Punkin, more confused than she was when the conversation began.
Shrugging, Cer sighs a response with wavering conviction and uncertainty, “We love everyone. We may not be able to show everyone, but we feel that love. We Will the good of others for their own benefit, not ours, AND we must choose who we focus on. Sometimes the people who are hardest to love are the same people that need love the most; sometimes we trust that others can give them that love so we can focus on the people we have the ability to heal and appreciate the magic we have to offer. Our love feeds our magic Pupu. A witch’s magic is only as strong as their mystic and only as lasting as the source we draw mana from.”
Yawning, Punkin responds. “It makes me tired, daddy. Love is confusing and tiring.”
Smiling, Cer continues to walk while rubbing Punkin’s back as she falls asleep. “Yes it is Pupu. Love is a choice. All choices are actions. So loving people will be tiring, much like walking and carrying those you love. We get tired, but somehow we find the mana to keep going.” Sleep well. You are so much like your mother. Your Mystic and your Mana draw from the same source- you are a wellspring of love.