Hy-Jinx sits cross-legged on the floor, apparently looking thoughtfully at the board before her, her head leaning into her hands, elbows on her knees. “It’s your turn Dozey” she says petulantly.

In the bright but flickering torchlight, Dozer looks back at her, and smiles, amazed at how Hy-Jinx has already beaten him twice and she can’t even see any of the pieces. “I told you, it’s nothing to do with me.”

“You’re just ‘obeying orders', is that right?” says Hy-Jinx accusingly, in a way that makes Dozer feel ashamed of himself, as if the notion of taking orders implicates one in the orders themselves, orders which in this instance are to keep Hy-Jinx locked up in a stone cell somewhere under Kera-Bur.

“Look, it’s for your own safety. You’ve got everything you need.” Dozer looks around the sparse cell and at Hy-Jinx’s pallor and realises that Hy-Jinx clearly needs sunlight. “For the moment,” he adds.

“Really?” says Hy-Jinx.

Dozer slides a piece diagonally into an adjacent square, Hy-Jinx, tilting her head at the sound, her pale blue-glazed eyes motionless, gazing at nothing.

“Did you hear that they started chanting Mupert-Poopert in the Outer Fayre today?”

“Stop changing the conversation,” Hy-Jinx says, though a small smile twinges the edges of her lips. She leans forward and gently pats her hand upon the board, locating a particular piece and moving it.

Dozer sighs heavily, looking at the move that she’s made and realising she’s got him cornered.

She waits for a moment. “You know you’ve lost…again. Right?”

“Hmm.” says Dozer, leaning his large frame back from the board and reclining on his elbows.

“So how long do I stay here?” Hy-Jinx asks.

“Don’t know. Until the Guild Council decide what to do with you. You’re currently toxic, you know that don’t you? You’ve managed to manoeuvre yourself into a very unique position.”

“Enlighten me,” Hy-Jinx says, stifling a yawn before standing to stretch out her neck and back, beginning to chuckle to herself, before laughing loudly.

“What’s so funny?” asks Dozer.

“I could change my name to Toxic Mischief!”

“That’s not a bad name. Better than Estelle Periwinkle!” Dozer starts to laugh, a deep belly laugh.“That nearly blew our cover in the throne room. I had to pinch myself.”

Hy-Jinx sticks her tongue out and crosses her eyes. “But not as good as Belle Slayer. I quite like that...has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?”

Dozer groans.

“So what’s your name?” Hi-Jinx asks innocently. “Hmm…don’t tell me…let me guess.”

“You’ll never guess,” says Dozer.

“I think I’ve got a good idea. I’m sure someone let it slip. Wait what was it again?...Derek Clodhopper! No. Clumthunk Poofabrains. No? Bimbo Coconuts? Melvin Dungburger!”

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Dozer’s face reddens - he’s clearly not good at taking insults on the chin.

“Wait, wait, I’ve got it…Manfreyed Guildonkey, Bumfuzz Thunderguts. Feckwit Fuddler? Horatio Horseface, Stu Piddleyborne, Ham Clutzmonkey, Bodley Buttefigners, Hunk Mindeath, Klem Crabclaws, Glum Dumbleforth, Turner Blindeye,

“I think that one’s you.” Dozer says darkly, his ego rising and reacting to the continuous stream of titles making him out to be strong but dim witted and clumsy. Clearly Hy-Jinx knows how to get under people’s skin.

“No, that’s definitely you. Oh wait, I’m sorry, you’re right, isn’t it Egon Leftisfriend? Findley Foulheart, Raniway Byebye?”

Dozer closes his eyes and grits his teeth, a look of resigned defeat and acceptance coming to bear upon his features. “Look, I know I haven’t said this and I should have - Bembry too. I’m sorry, we’re sorry…for leaving you.”

“You left me hanging - literally, half way down a rope and it seems it was just good fortune that I didn’t end up on the end of one.”

“We didn’t mean to. It’s just…we didn’t have any option.”

“Uh..huh! Bull Shitzenwhistle. Maydor Ashoele?” Hy-Jinx says slowly, petulance returning to her voice as she sounds out each syllable of this final name.

“But we did come back and get you - Bembry and I spent weeks convincing the Guild to let us carry out the operation and we spent every penny we’ve earned to do so.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Only if you stop calling me nasty names.”

“They were the nice ones,” Hy-Jinx sticks her tongue out at Dozer again before continuing, “and there’s plenty more where they came from.”

“I bet there are.”

“Anyway it’s a good job I don’t hold grudges.”

“Clearly…It’s Doren by the way.”

“Hmm?”says Hy-Jinx as if not listening.

“Doren Zembur, my name.”

“Yes I know that, I knew your true name moons ago,…but I think, if I’m honest. I prefer Bimbo Coconuts.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome…So, Coconuts, I thought you were going to enlighten me regarding my unique toxicity.”

“Well…” Dozer considers his words, “Mupert is obviously fuming, and clearly we, the Guild, have rescued you. Which means that there’s increased focus and pressure on the guard to hunt us down and disrupt any of the Guild’s more obvious activities which in turn puts pressure on those in Kera’Bur which partake in our services. However, there’s an upwelling of support for you from the general populace, your exploits have not gone unnoticed - the ‘Mupert-Poopert’ chanting being a case in point. So if the Guild are seen to turn you back over to Mupert that’s going to cause issues for everyone. Similarly if Mupert does get hold of you, via whatever power he has to do so, that’s going to cause issues for him. along with what may be severe civil unrest. Simply put there doesn’t appear to be a winning move.”

“What do you mean by a ‘winning move’?”

“For this, to all blow over and go back to normal.”

“Coconuts, Coconuts” Hy-Jinx says, her voice laced with disappointment as she shakes her head. “Why do you want things to go back to normal? It took great effort to get to this point in the first place. And what d’you mean by normal? I take it you mean comfortable - to continue along without having to think. Maybe that’s not what should be done - maybe things should continue to be stirred, maybe things should be deliberately made uncomfortable…Like this bed.” Hy-Jinx says, bouncing on the edge of her makeshift cot, a troubled expression on her face. “It’s nearly as uncomfortable as the dungeon.”

The two sit in silence…

”Any word from Madeleine?” asks Hy-Jinx eventually.

Dozer shakes his head, then realises that Hy-Jinx can’t see his response. “No, no word, nor Hood either…or from that Helmet character…but I’ve heard concerning rumours.”

“Oh?”

“Something to do with a mechanical man discovered in the Library - they say that it was a machine that the barbarian’s had acquired from some ancient ruins and there’s plans for some big parade or party or something. Some sort of post war victory celebration, I’m not sure what it’s all about. But I th..”

“Narrative,” Hy-Jinx interrupts gloomily. “It’s all about narrative. Mark my words. First it’ll be statement, then it’ll be pantomime and then little by little the pantomime will change until everyone understands.”

“Look at you! I thought you were a jester, turns out you’re a world weary cynic.”

“Who me?” Hy-Jinx brightens, “Quite frankly I don’t care, it’s all a load of bo..”

The sound of the door unlocking and squeaking open interrupts Hy-Jinx and Dozer’s conversation. A nondescript figure appears around the edge of the door dressed in typical guild attire.

“You’re required. A meeting has been convened and you are to attend.”

“Both of us?” asks Dozer.

“No, just the clown.”

“I’ll stay here then,” says Hy-Jinx, smiling.