Thinking about the tale I would tell, the road back to Brimbrom was shorter than it had been the night before. I arrived in town an hour before dusk and stopped in front of the first person I saw, a young man pushing a wheelbarrow, to ask about "place to buy food and bed," since I didn't remember the word for tavern. He gave me directions, I thanked him and went straight there without a moment of pause. The first thing I saw inside of the tavern was Galian, whose name I struggled to remember by now, sitting in front of the bar with a foamy pint of beer in his hand. The mood in there was quite rowdy for a town that had suffered an orc raid just the previous night, with a round-bellied bard singing and flopping about on a small stage and several drunkards playing cards and shouting at the wenches to bring them this or that, and even a mysterious cloaked figure in a corner.

Yes, I was tired, but how could I resist? I walked up to the cloaked stranger and said:

"I am adventurer. You give quest."

The cloaked figure didn't acknowledge my presence and just continued eating, so I coughed and repeated my introduction with a little more emphasis on the adventuring and questing part. He lifted his face and stared at me from under the hood of his cloak, squinting with a cool expression, and I also squinted and stared back.

"If you insist," he said after a drawn out silence, "but bear in mind that it won't be easy. Take a seat."

I made to sit across from him, but he waved his hands forward and shouted "No, no, sit closer! We can't let anyone hear our conversation," so I looked around and cautiously sat next to him. He then leaned toward me and whispered:

"I'm on an important mission, you see, a very important mission. Critical, I say. Now, don't ask me what it is, I can't tell you," he said and looked around briefly, but then continued, "Fine, I'll tell you. My lord wants to build a new fortress in the southern forests, and he sent me to scout the area, see what we'll be dealing with, you know? That place is rumored to be filled with monsters! I'm a great knight, but this job is too much for any single man, so it'd be great to count on other skilled warriors."

"Who is lord?" I asked, and he gave me a puzzled look.

"A lord is, you know, someone who rules over the land. Do you really not know what a lord is?"

"Not what. I ask who lord is. Who."

"Oh, I see now! My lord is none other than Siruba Furubasta, Count of the Jagged Mountains. Although I usually serve under his son Gurey, I was given this mission by the Count himself! It's a high honor, so this mission must absolutely succeed."

"Good quest. I help you, but need coin."

"Don't worry, my friend, we'll both be handsomely rewarded for this!"

"Handsomely rewarded for what, Giorgio?" said a woman with a stern expression standing next to the man, on the opposite side of me. She wore a cloak identical to his, but with the hood retracted. Her skin was so pale that it efficiently deflected my attention toward her eyes, which were a dull shade of green like the inside of a cucumber on a cloudy day.

"For our exploits, of course!" the man replied after a brief startle. The woman put her hands on her hips and said:

"We just arrived here and you're already blabbering off to strangers?"

"Watch your tongue, woman," said Giorgio as his formerly cheerful mood became sour in a moment.

"You watch yours, or do you intend to let every enemy in the continent learn of our plans?"

"Our lord's enemies have much more important things to do than follow us into a tavern. Besides, this mission is not a secret and we're going to need help, or do you plan to go into the forest with just the two of us?"

"Of course you'd think that. And just who is this help you've found? Surely a famous adventurer," she said, throwing bile at me for no discernible reason. From that brief exchange between them I could already tell what kind of pair they made. The man turned to me and said:

"By the Light, my manners! Pardon me, friend, but I forgot to ask your name. I am Giorgio, a knight of house Furubasta. This usually lovely lady is Alice, please excuse her, she's had a rough day."

"I am Bawb. Adventurer."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance! Satisfied, my dear companion?"

"You don't expect me to trust that a single adventurer from who knows where will solve all of our problems, do you?"

"Of course not, it will be the three of us! And if we can find more-"

"I'm not going into that monster den, Giorgio, and neither are you. My mission is to make preparations and oversee the construction, and yours is to keep me safe, or did you already forget?"

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

By that point I was more than tired of this Alice and the smelly stick she must've kept stored up inside of her rear, so I rose and patted Giorgio's shoulder, saying:

"I go sleep now. Good luck."

I walked up to the bar and stood next to Galian, who was too focused on his beer, apparently a fresh new pint now, to notice me. I waved at him from the side until he turned to look.

"You're still here? I thought you would've left the town by now," he said with a slight slur, apparently surprised. It had taken me more than two days to leave Surom, so I didn't expect to move on from Brimbrom any faster, but he might have seen it differently. Perhaps I could've used the gold in my bag to purchase my way out of this town, but I still needed to gather more information and rest before trying that, and the idea of going to a forest full of monsters was intriguing, so I wasn't eager to leave.

"I am alive, it is good. You collect herbs?" I said while motioning for the bartender to bring me some food.

"It is good indeed, I wouldn't wish to die for some wizard's research either. Ah, sadly, the collection of herbs hasn't gone very well."

"Why?" I said, sitting down at the bar next to him as one of the wenches brought me a pint of beer. As much as I avoided alcohol in my world, and the taste of this beer wasn't impressive in the slightest, I still rejoiced. Drinking beer in a tavern after a quest, the universal celebration of adventurers!

"Because of what happened to Stuart. Light be in his soul, such a tragedy," he said, and stared into his beer with a look of utter defeat. I asked again and he slowly looked back at me, saying "It's best that you don't know. Because he was always the one who hired the mercenaries to guard us, now I don't have protection to venture into the forest."

"Forest of monters?" I said.

"Yes, it's to the south of Brimbrom, where all manner of strange things grow. We've long had a deal with Stuart where he gives us transport, protection and supplies, and in exchange he takes a good portion of the herbs collected. That forest has been blessed with rich magic since the dawn of this kingdom, so its herbs are abundant and of remarkable quality, but so are its monsters. Hearsay has it that the forest itself births one monster for every breath that a maiden takes."

"What maiden?"

"I don't know, perhaps all of them."

"That make many monsters," I said just as the wench brought me two plates, one with beans and chopped up meat and the other with some sort of salad which looked like lettuce but had the color of an orange, with pieces of broccoli. It had the same taste as lettuce, so it wasn't a distraction as long as I didn't look at it.

"Indeed. The edge of the forest is usually safe, but to go deeper inward has been the death of many adventurers."

"And what you do now? No mercenaries, no herbs?"

"Ahh, that's what I'm trying to sort out. The church needs those herbs to heal the sick, otherwise we might see an outbreak in Surom... but I don't know where to find those mercenaries and I don't think they'll want to work without payment upfront. My only choice might be to return and hire a party of adventurers there, but I can already hear Kihergan's 'we can't spare a single piece of gold, we are in debt as it is'! Oh, what am I going to do?"

"I help you. Already go on quest to the forest," I said while chewing a mouthful of orange lettuce.

"What, you've been to the forest?"

"No, future be. I go scout forest with man, you come, collect herbs."

"With what man? Why does he want to go there? Is he suicidal? Is he a monster in disguise?"

"Not know, you ask. That man," I pointed at Giorgio, who was eating alone again. Galian gave him a quick look and then back at me.

"The two of you, that's it?"

"Three. You come. Four if woman come, but not expect."

"Is any of them a wizard, at least?"

"Not know."

"And you're still confident in going there? Don't waste the life you've barely saved, it's foolish! Stuart always hired at least nine well-armed mercenaries, don't underestimate the danger."

"I am strong. Kill orcs. Is monsters stronger than orcs?"

Galian looked at me with his eyes almost popping out of his head, as if asking 'don't you remember cosplaying as a sack of potatoes? Are you even the same guy?' and I smiled awaiting an answer. As foolhardy as I may have seemed to others, assessing the danger was a crucial part of my adventuring process; after all, I wasn't generous enough to sacrifice my body for the eating pleasure of some ungodly faceripper. If the forest was more deadly than a band of orcs, I would prepare accordingly, but the quest wouldn't be forfeited.

"Are you referring to the raid that happened last night? Did you go off to kill orcs on your own?" said Galian, still with an incredulous air.

"Yes, raid. Not alone, others help. They dead."

Galian stared at me, slightly gesturing back and forth with his body and moving his mouth as if trying to conjure a coherent idea. No luck. I tried to relieve him of the pressure by meeting his gaze and giving a faint smile, to no avail. He mumbled things like 'how' and 'why' several times over, trying to convey to me that I should be as horrified as he was, and that the most appalling thing about this whole matter was that I wasn't appalled by it. Eventually he gave up and looked at his beer again with a subtle shake of his head, saying:

"Fine, this may very well be the Light's answer to my predicament, as incredible as it is. The edges of the forest will have enough herbs to keep the plague from spreading, I'll join you until I've collected what's necessary and then we'll part ways."

"Good. You fight?"

"The best I can do is impart the blessings of the Light, but you'll have to protect me."

"Is blessings powerful?"

"Of course. He who walks in the Light can't be defeated."

"Then why not bless you and fight?"

"Spare me your paradoxes, my day has already been trying enough," he said with a dejected face before gulping down his beer and asking for another. After that we ate in silence until I finished my meal and paid the barkeep. I also rented a room for the night, which took only three attempts to communicate. Perhaps I was getting better at speaking the caveman dialect.

The room was on the second floor of the tavern. It had a bed, a chest and a small square table with a simple chair; exactly what I had expected. At first it felt strange to have a proper bed after sleeping on the floor for the past few days, so I began by sitting on it slowly and getting used to the sensation. It then occurred to me that I should plan countermeasures to prevent anyone from trying to capture me in the middle of the night, but by that moment I was already comfortable with my head on the pillow and the food in my belly made it even more difficult to stay awake. The last thing I managed to do before falling asleep was to take off my armor without getting up. I slept much more peacefully than anyone would approve for someone who carried several murders in his conscience.