Evelyn's first week as Lady of the Hold was an odd one for she was on her own, except for gentle cues from the Thane himself. They had caught up on the battle's events, including her meeting with the gods, Hakkon's 'brand' as Kitsa had called it, his reunion with his mother, and the aftermath. Cullen's health was improving, but he had been so mortally wounded it would take another week before he felt himself. Once a day he could make the walk to the Great Hall for their daily War Table meeting, but after that, the Hold was under her command.
Having such power was a new experience for her. Never having so much authority over people other than students in the Circle, she was faced with a whole novel array of problems to solve. A few times a week she sat upon the dais in the Great Hall in her seat conducting business. Cassandra stood resolutely beside her - arm in a sling - and spoke up now and again when Evelyn seemed uncertain as to what to say. Most of the requests came as a direct result of the battle: sky burials, restocking of herbs, potions, and bandages, prayers for the dead from the gods' chosen one, and so on.
With so many wanting her to bless their dead, having been marked and blessed by the gods, the people believed her as close to divine as the one sitting upon the Sunburst Throne. Because of this, she had Dhara arrange a large Hold gathering for her to ask the gods to bless their fallen warriors who helped secure their victory against the red scourge. They held it in the center of the market outside of the Great Hall. A large bonfire was made to burn the offerings the clan brought for the gods. A platform was erected where the people could kneel and speak the name of their dead to the Phoenix. She would, in turn, shout their name to the Sky and toss an offering to the Skymother into the fire. As it was the Lady of the Skies who presided over the power of life and death, she was their main honoree of the ritual. While Evelyn could’ve handled it on her own, her husband wished to pay his respects as well. After arguing over his insistence to attend, Cullen stood beside her stubbornly throughout the evening, even refusing a seat to make him more comfortable.
The ritual was draining, more so than she would've thought despite most of the clan's stout demeanor regarding the dead. As most died in battle, it was considered an honorable and good death, their immediate kin wearing proud looks, despite the sad frowns. The ones who died in the first volley of arrows that were shot into the crowd - the old and young, the ones simply in the wrong place at the wrong time - were the most heartbreaking as their families did not hide their sorrow. Despite this, the one that hurt the most was the loss suffered by her kin.
As Mia approached with her two children, the Thane and his Lady stiffened. Their sister's face was set in the hard Rutherford scowl, though her eyes glistened more than usual. Her daughter, Annis of five, hardly understood the concept of death, so her face was frightened unsure of what was going on, and of all the attention suddenly on her. Her son, Nechtan a boy of eight, knew his father had died in battle. His proud naïve face favoring the looks of his father, must have been following his mother's strict orders to be a model Avvar man.
As they bent the knee together, Cullen took a step forward to say his part, especially to his nephew, who now lacked a father figure in his life. "We are sorry for your loss dear sister. Your husband did his duty to the Hold and our family, defending it against our longtime enemy. He gave his life so we could live, and such is the cycle of life and death. Hakkon will honor him, and the Lady will welcome him into the Sky." He knelt painfully before his niece and nephew, "Your da was a hero, make no mistake about it. To be granted such a death is all we warriors can hope for."
When it was Evelyn's turn to speak, their eyes rested heavily upon her, especially Mia's. "Your father is never far, for I see him in your face," nodding to Nechtan, then looked to Annis, "and in your heart. Honor the gift he has given you, and hold each other close." With a resolute nod to their mother, they moved away to join the others around the large fire.
To conclude the ritual, as it was done on Wintersend, sacrifices of food were also given to Korth and blood was given to Hakkon. The Thane and Lady opened their matching scars to give their combined strength back to the clan. Though her face didn't show it, she was concerned for Cullen during their bloodletting. She watched him carefully but decided to pump her mana into their bond markings anyway to fortify him. Painting stripes down each other, their part was officially concluded. Excusing themselves to the Augur, who could handle things from there, Evelyn left with the exhausted Thane. It was a slow contemplative walk home, but his hovering presence leaning on her, allowed her to nuzzle up into him. After hearing of so much death, she was sorely in need of something pure and good.
As they made it back to the bed, he sat back with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut tight. Dorian or Ilara were still coming over daily to apply healing salves, administer potions, or if needed, a healing spell. He really shouldn't have attended, but his sense of duty and leadership was stronger than any pain - at least for a time - and she couldn't fault him for it. Now, in the seclusion of their bedroom, she put him right to bed frowning at his chorus of grumbles as he attempted to get comfortable. With a kiss, she left him to prepare dinner for her three male residents.
Since the battle, Rosalie had moved in with Rylen, who needed as much care as Cullen, having suffered similar injuries. Though she claimed it was only temporary, Evelyn had a creeping feeling she would not be moving back. Leaving them with a vacant room for her brother to utilize, he gladly took up residency.
Having always been a bit of a drifter, Owayne got used to being the new 'resident Lowlander.' As Evelyn had done, he took it as a badge of honor, garnering the attention of the Avvar women with his roguish looks and charming demeanor. As brother to the Hold's Lady, he was granted more acceptance than they gave her at first, unwilling to risk her fiery wrath. In part, it was unfortunate because she was hoping to pull a prank on him by condemning him to walk into the mouth of a volcano or some other fantasy punishment concocted by Lowlanders.
Branson was slowly recovering as well after nearly having his arm loped off protecting her. Ilara's quick mending of the bone and tissue would ensure he didn't lose function, but it would be a long road to recovery. The muscles would need to be exercised and retrained before he could hope to regain functionality. No one had known how he was wounded until she imparted the story to them. Bran had been unconscious and unable to tell the tale himself, but Evelyn did to anyone who'd hear it. Cullen's reaction was the most profound, and when he was not resting himself he was at his brother's bedside. When he finally woke up, Evelyn watched from the doorway as the two embraced, Cullen imparting his gratitude for his actions and sacrifice. Upon seeing her, he was just as relieved to see her alive and well.
Despite all their injuries, it seemed the one most wounded was Mia after the loss of her husband. Evelyn watched as she tried to go about her days as if nothing happened like the proud Avvar she was. Mia was too stubborn to mourn, instead taking on more work by helping care for her brothers. She was always in their home cooking, cleaning, repairing baskets, anything that caught her eye. At first, Evelyn was grateful since she needed to tend to Hold business, but after a while, her new sister began overstepping. Most of her fretting had to do with the care of their ancestral home; how she needed to scrub the walls of the soot after the cold winter; that the roof needed to be checked for rot because the boys probably had not gotten to it; the cast iron pots in the hearth needed to be oiled; and the list went on and on. If the Phoenix didn't have enough going on with trying to run the Hold for the first time alone, she didn't need her incessant nagging. After the first week though, she noticed Mia looking rundown and a bit gaunt. When she asked about her health she was snapped at, and even Rosalie did not go unscathed.
While she toiled away at the Rutherford longhouse, her children accompanied her having been commanded to remain within her sight. Nechtan was not able to play in the Forest with the other boys and Annis couldn't even go to see her Uncle Bran in the next room without an escort. When Evelyn did stop in, her new niece and nephew were constantly getting lectured on how true Avvar should behave. Mia even went as far as to tell them they weren't allowed to talk to Owayne, which created awkward tension in the home when they'd sit down for meals. When she quietly questioned the children about their mother, they admitted that she never slept, she was just constantly fretting over one thing or another.
As the brothers healed and became more independent, Mia seemed less and less pleased as if robbed of her purpose. Skinny, pale, with purple bags under the eyes, the eldest Rutherford was going downhill fast.
"Cullen, something needs to be done about Mia. She can go on like this." Evelyn decides to broach the topic after dinner one night.
He sighed heavily, "What would you have me do? I've already tried to speak with her having known loss. She insists that she's fine."
"She doing what she did when our parents died," added Branson, "she'll eventually exhaust herself and everything will go back to normal."
"You're joking? You'll just let her overwork herself to collapse?" She looked to her husband who wore a guilty look. "Mia could seriously injure herself!"
"Evie's right, this isn't healthy. I could slip a sleeping draught into her drink or something so she rests. She'd never know." She was inclined to go along with Owayne's suggestion, despite resorting to subterfuge.
"Mia is following tradition, it's what many Avvar do. They hold fast to their duty and find purpose again through remembering their obligations to the clan rather than giving in to their grief." Cullen's words were met with incredulous looks from the two Trevelyans.
Owayne leaned over to his sister, mumbling, "This is one of those times you don't plan on listening to him, right?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Evelyn," her husband grumbled in a drawn-out warning, "just leave her be. Trust me for once, please?" Reluctant to obey, she did anyway having only just begun to have a friendly relationship with her. Every culture practiced grief differently, from the Nevarran Mortallitasi to the wandering Dalish, and everyone's customs needed to be respected - whether she agreed or not.
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While bedridden and recovering around his ancestral longhouse, Cullen had long quiet hours to contemplate and process their whirlwind of a knotting week. So many things had happened and he had little time to comprehend all the changes that were happening both in the Hold and within himself.
The foremost change was that he once again had a wife. Trying to get himself back into the mindset that he was no longer alone and had duties to fulfill to his people, he would have to steel his resolve again for a fight with the Phoenix regarding this. They hadn't consummated their bonding as he was severely wounded, but once he healed, it would be expected of them; a first attempt for a child was expected of them.
The nauseous feeling in his gut that usually accompanied thoughts of Evelyn during tortuous labor was oddly absent. He had thought with the slaying of Despair that he had felt different, and he knew now it was true. In its stead was a warm bloom of excitement and love at the prospect of hope for a family once more. He was nearly thirty-one, and you'd think by now he'd be busy adding rooms to the longhouse for all his children. Though he'd never admit it aloud to her, his wife too was running out of good years of childbearing. The gods foretold of at least one child he'd have with her, but at the risk of sounding like an old man, if Evelyn was his last wife, he'd be content with that for he'd have his heir.
Yet, if he was being honest, as thoughts of Evelyn floated through his head, he'd fight Hakkon himself if he could keep her to himself for the rest of their lives. Evelyn was a raging wildfire, fed by the trauma and trails of her past. Maybe, their pasts had to be fractured and broken, so together they could fill in each other's gaps, then fuse it with the scorching heat of their bond. The roar of his love would frighten her demons, while her loving flames chased away his shadows. Cullen had found love and happiness again, and if he could keep it for himself, despite it not being the Avvar way, he would. Hadn't he done his duty, especially where the prophecy was concerned? He tried with two wives and it ended tragically in both cases, how could the gods expect him to let Evelyn go if she gives him a child?
Cullen decided then that he didn't care for what was expected of him; he would be selfish for once in his life. He would keep Evelyn for himself, so long as she would have him.
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"You handled that last complaint admirably, my Lady."
Evelyn stopped short, "You mean the two men fighting over the bull? Where I told them to punch each other until only one was left standing?" The Head Warrior nodded her head, "I had originally said it in jest."
"Yes, but you also probably didn't know they'd been fighting over the same woman for years. They'd take any chance to beat each other senseless with expressed permission."
"Hmm, all the excitement when I said it suddenly made sense. That's what I get for making a joke of our people's love of brawling. Now I know."
Cassandra gave her a knowing smile, "You've done honorably by our Thane. I've grown up with him, Evelyn, and I think you've made Cullen very happy. He seems less burdened than he has in years."
"You mean since Kattrin?"
"No, not in that sense. You're a formidable woman capable of ruling beside the Thane, not simply carrying the title because you're his wife. Both Kattrin and Ninne were housewives, which had its benefits, but neither had the head for leadership through a crisis as you do."
"To be fair, they were very young and not a mage as I. Not to mention, I hail from nobility, where being haughty and bossy is a bit of an inherited trait," she gave her a wink.
The raven-haired warrior gave her a pointed look, "Even so, something tells me young Evelyn was still a force of nature." The mage in question gave her a mischievous grin. "You ran the Hold honorably as our Thane recovered and it did not go unseen by our people. Not only that but you proved yourself in battle before all of the Hold. A Lady who can fight as well as she governs is a rarity in the Basin. The clan believes gods have truly favored us."
"Well, the brand on my belly would certainly back up that claim. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask the Hold Spirits about it while I had the time."
"One more thing, my Lady," Cassandra looked about suspiciously, "I've been meaning to warn you about…" Just then Rosalie, Dhara, and Ilara passed through the market together speaking quietly among themselves, but their mischievous grins revealed something was afoot. The warrior pushed her behind one of the market stalls before the other women could see.
Frowning, Evelyn held her breath, "Cass, what did they do?"
"It's not what they did, it's what they will do."
"I like that even less."
"Well, that why I wanted to warn you, especially if Cullen plans to return soon. Since you were robbed of your wedding night, they plan to… capture you and tie you to a bed like what is traditionally done after the feast of the knotting ceremony."
Evelyn slapped a hand to her forehead, "B-but the battle-- why would they still want to--"
She shook her head, "It's tradition and while it is all of our jobs to uphold it, you know they take great pleasure in mortifying you over your stolen bride status at every opportunity."
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Evelyn wiped a hand down her face, "And when will this happen?!"
"Sometime shortly after Cullen returns to his duties and is capable of… well, you know." Cassandra cleared her throat, "I thought you'd want to prepare yourself."
The mage sighed, placing her hands on her hips, "Is this like the challenge, where I'm expected to resist?"
"You can, but typically, as I said this takes place after the feast following the knotting and the stolen bride is some degree of drunk."
"I see, so I'm going to avoid any invites to the Mead Hall for the foreseeable future. I do appreciate the warning, my friend, but I must ask, are you in on it?" Cassandra's face flushed a bit in a telling response. "Then I have only one thing to say... catch me if you can." The two women's expressions changed to impish smirks as they parted. Cassandra looked back at her only once, jogging to catch up with the conspirators. Cullen's recovery was going splendidly and he was days out from returning, much to her relief. Chuckling to herself, Evelyn continued through the Hold, knowing that this was the last ritual pertaining to her Lowlander status. Seeing the looks and laughs following her as no doubt most of the clan knew, she would do her best to give the Hold something cheery to talk about. But first, there was one more nagging issue she needed to contend with…
As the Phoenix approached the Augur's Hut, a flash of purple and blue light came from the Heart of the Hold. The Hold Spirits were waiting for her, which in her experience was never a good thing.
With a deep breath, she strode in, the five spirits already in their places. Wisdom's deep and ancient voice was the first to break the silence, "Welcome my Lady, it is an honor to finally greet you as such."
"Thank you, Wisdom. But I came here--"
"Aye, we ken, Phoenix." The heavy intonation of the young hunter replied, "Ye wish to find out the meanin' of the markin’s on ye."
She nodded but before they could discuss further, the Augur arrived. "Korth's beard, I saw the light! What is-- oh, my Lady! Is everythin' alright?"
"Quite, Augur," Wisdom answered, "we were just about to discuss Hakkon's latest gift to our Lady."
"A gift?" The Phoenix tilted her head in question, her hair falling with it as she had worn it down to take care of Hold business. "Kitsa said it was a brand?"
"It matters not what it is called, but rather what it does." Evelyn stopped her protesting at the head spirit's words. "If you would allow us to view it, Phoenix?" Unbuttoning her light linen shirt, the symbols etched into her skin glowed crimson against the scar they sealed like magical stitches.
"Ye know what these are then, Wisdom?" Dhara had bent to get a better look at them, tracing them in the air with a lithe finger.
"They are symbols from the language of the gods. Such knowledge has been lost to the mortal plane, but we Spirits still remember." The ancient wraith floated over to the two women, he touched a cold hand to her stomach making her jump slightly. "Ah, yes, it is as I thought. Lord Hakkon is wise and cunning indeed."
Evelyn cringed, "I'm not sure I like the sound of that…"
"Fear not, my Lady, it is quite a reasonable price to pay for your life. This first symbol is that of a 'Thane,' and this tick mark indicates the number one. 'One Thane.' The next is the symbol for 'mage' with two lines, so 'Two Mages.' This one means 'Child' and the last is the number 'three.' It seems Wintersbreath has dictated the number of children and the kind you will bear in your three-year-bonding with the Thane."
If Evelyn had been capable of swooning and fainting like a typical noblewoman, she would have. Instead, she stood there blinking stupidly. "He… t-the gods can do such a thing?"
Love's sweet voice wafted about the room, "Yes, and with the added blessing of the Skymother, Hakkon's gift is all but assured."
"And if I fail to produce these three children?"
The Warrior crossed his arms, "Then that wound will open back up. No magic nor thread could seal it shut. You will die and the prophecy will go unfulfilled."
"Figures."
Grumbling like the old crow she was, Tradition shook her head at the Lady of the Hold, "Have you not learned to trust in the wisdom of the gods and our customs? Have they not been favorable to you, or is your Lowland haughtiness still so ingrained in your being? Leave the threading of fate to your betters and stay the course."
Love flew towards her, "Once the Thane is recovered I expect you to honor your scared bond and mate." The breath was knocked out of her momentarily and her brows nearly shot off the top of her head. "He needs to sow his seed into your fertile field. It is tradition and the terms of Avvar knotting."
Evelyn pinched the bridge of her nose, scrunching up her face, "So soon?"
"Is this not the custom in the Lowlands as well? To marry then mate that night?"
Looking up at the long-haired woman, she stammered, "I-it is, just-- those women aren't expected to go into battle as I am. The Grey Wardens could arrive at any time and I'd have to leave! Hakkon's protection or not, we don't know how long I'd be gone for."
"Trust in your forged path, Phoenix. The gods will provide for you, for you are their only hope." Tradition nodded her feathered head and her dead eyes bore into her with resolve. "Have faith and uphold the Avvar way of life, girl, it is your sacred duty."
They were asking for her blind faith. While she did trust in divine providence, her rational self still wanted to fight for control over the situation. With a resigning huff, Evelyn was left with little choice again. "I will heed your counsel, Spirits. As you know, I like to have all the information before making decisions, especially ones as critical as this. All I ask is for patience. Have I not done what has been expected of me in the end? I have accepted my new duty and I will do what is asked. I- I just need time to accept it." Evelyn hoped it appeased them, and she looked to Dhara who nodded as if she could hear her thoughts.
"Do so quickly, my Lady, for time is not on your side. Even if you do fulfill the prophecy, Hakkon's price still must be paid." As his voice trailed off and the Spirits dissipated into thin air, the Heart of the Hold returned to its comforting hues of orange and yellow.
Able to leave now, Dhara was getting ready to say something, but Evelyn left before it could come out. Fade-stepping home so she couldn't be followed, she was relieved to find their house empty. She needed time to think, or rather accept her circumstances again. Sitting in Cullen's large chair, she leaned back staring deep into the central fire pit. Mesmerized by the flames, she let her mind wander.
Time stilled for her as she thought about things more seriously than before. Everything seemed to always be a ways off until suddenly the day was upon her; their knotting for instance had been decided months in advance, but it never felt real until she was standing at the end of the aisle with Owayne. She didn't mind the fact of having to "mate" with Cullen, in fact, she looked forward to it, but she would be remiss if she didn't want to battle first before starting a family. Was that not a perfectly rational thing? And if impregnating her was a tradition on their "wedding night," then Cullen would be expecting as much. Would he be ready? As of late, all their conversations had been about the recovery of him and the Hold.
Just then, the door creaked open and Mia stepped in quietly. "Apologies sister, I didn't know you were here. I came to collect the laundry while everyone was out." The past few days, Owayne had been taking Branson and Cullen down to the training yard for some light exercise.
"It's alright… actually, can I ask you something? A marriage question?" Straightening, the blonde looked weary but moved to sit on a chair near her. Mia's back was to the fire, casting her face in shadow. Raising her eyebrows expectantly, Evelyn took it as a sign to continue, "How… long did it take after your knotting to become pregnant?"
The eldest Rutherford didn't seem pleased by her question. "About eight months, but it's different for everyone. I had not been blessed by the Lady of the Skies."
Evelyn let out a noisy exhale, rubbing a hand down her face, "That's what I was afraid of."
"Evelyn!" Mia angrily yelled, surprising the Phoenix, "You should be thankful for such a gift! Some women become pariahs due to their inability to grow a child in their womb. In some Holds, they cast out the impotent, man and woman alike!" Venom seeped from her words, "Husbands drag wives before the Thane to shame them publically for their inability to do the one thing only women are capable of creating life. And you're afraid?!" Mia bit back her anger, making Evelyn hold up her hands to halt the tirade, failing. "I didn't take you as one to shirk their duty. Every Avvar must keep our traditions alive, something my husband died for! You spit on his memory and all those we've lost by being so selfish. And don't you dare use the excuse that you didn't know because you were a naïve Circle mage!"
A wave of fury heated her mana pumping lava through her glowing veins, "I'm not afraid of having a child, what I am fearful of is not fulfilling the prophecy before this plague of red lyrium, not to mention the taint from the Blight, takes over the Basin and I'm too heavy with child to stop it! It has nothing to do with Cullen or neglecting my duty!" Evelyn shot up and Mia stood too meeting her sister-in-law's raptor glare, "But I'm glad I didn't get to explain further before you once again demonstrated your lack of faith in me."
Mia's eyes narrowed, her expression hardening like tempered steel. "We are on the brink of extinction… what is there to think about?! Why should your insignificant feelings about it matter at all? The women of the Basin mourn their emptiness, and would anything to change that, while you sit here on your arse, bless as can be, complaining about your luck—"
"Mia!" Having entered unnoticed, he strode angrily to her, "How dare you speak to my wife and the Lady of the Hold with such callousness!"
The blond widow did not shy away, "Well, your wife is afraid of doing her duty by giving the clan new life! In fact, she'll be responsible for giving all the Avvar the ability to conceive again, and here she stands selfishly thinking solely of her fragile feelings!"
The Thane didn't even look at Evelyn, stepping close to Mia growling through his teeth, "That is none of your concern. How about you take your own advice on one's duty and find another husband who will put up with your righteousness."
A vicious whisper slithered between them, "Right, just like how you did after your wives died. No, instead you moped about like a bloody Lowlander coward!"
Evelyn's heart was pounding, letting her words escape her, "Sweet Skymother…" All of her previous anger fled in favor of gut-wrenching terror. Time slowed as she watched her husband's hand swing back, but instinctively she pushed Mia away, countering his strike easily with her arms. Holding his wrist, she squeaked out, "Cullen?!" They all froze, wide-eyed and breathing heavily. As the three processed what was happening, reason thankfully began to intervene. Cullen blinked over at his wife shamefully before falling face-first into her embrace. Her fingers massaged his hair and shoulders, as she felt his skin go cold and clammy. Turning her head to Mia who looked unnerved, she nodded without a word to the door and she quickly left.
Alone, Cullen's form was leaning heavier on her, and his large hands raked her as if trying to ball her up in his arms. His head rested under her chin and she squeezed him tighter, realizing that his restlessness was coming from emotional pain. Walking backward, she dragged him with her into their bedroom, lest Branson or Owayne return and see them in such a state. She couldn't help the tears that trickled down her cheeks, losing them a moment later in his blonde hair.
In their bedroom, they fell onto the bed never parting. With a swirl of her finger around the room the candle lit the dark space and its furniture in its lament light. After a long time of just breathing against each other, Evelyn spoke so softly, even she had trouble hearing herself, "I'm sorry, that was all my fault."
He picked his pale head up, "That was not your fault, my love."
"It was a misunderstanding, I made my question unclear and she just…" She swallowed hard.
"What question?" His tired amber eyes searched hers as they lay on their sides, nestled against the heavy pelts on their bed.
"I asked her how long it took her to get pregnant." Evelyn kept her eyes busily viewing the details of his maroon shirt, unable to meet his gaze. "She misunderstood my reaction to her reply as if I was planning on shirking my duty, and well… you heard the rest."
After a deep breath, she felt the warmth of his body return as he lay in silence for a short period. "And… what was it that you truthfully meant?"
"I… was concerned of becoming too heavy with child before the Grey Wardens arrive. Depending on when they get here it could cause a problem. And I wouldn't want to endanger… our baby."
Cullen sucked in a sharp breath, nodding, "Tradition is clear, would you risk the wrath of The Lady of the Skies? Especially since she blessed you?" A shiver ran up her spine at the thought of seeing the ghastly woman again, let alone suffering her ire. She hadn't told him what the Hold Spirits had said, so it seemed everyone was telling her the same thing. Trust the gods, endure, or perish. "Historically, Avvar women who are carrying have shown great strength, resilience, and bravery. Some of the most famous heroines have fought in battle pregnant."
Evelyn looked incredulously at him, "Good on them, my love, but I will tell you now, I will not be one of those women. Besides, I was not born Avvar, and from what I've heard, pregnant women are always tired, sore, and stuffing their faces with whatever they please. Who's to say I won't be the same way?"
"I don't believe you, the Phoenix, would never be so irksome. No, you'd take after the Avvar as you've shown time and time again. I have had experience with this."
Finally, she laughed, "Oh, my poor delusional husband." She rolled on her back with her arms above her head beside her thick braid. "In my experience, my temper and my stomach usually win out over everything. If anything, I'll be a raging hothead gobbling up our winter stores."
Chuckling along with her, he rolled on top of her, propping himself up on his elbows. "So, it won't be very different from any other day then."
"Hey!" She swatted at him playfully from below, their earlier gloom drifting away with their laughter. As it did, it was as if his words stirred her whirlwind of thoughts into a clearer picture. Stopping, her voice turned thoughtful, "Maybe we should just… trust in this crazy plan the gods have for us?"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that if they believe the time is now to," she sheepishly traced a finger up and down his bicep, "have a child, maybe we should?" After her words, a jittery pang of excitement and nervousness speared her belly. After what the Hold Spirits had told her, maybe it was best to just let it happen. She continued to distract herself, not wanting again to see his initial shock at it. "If you're not ready--"
He cut her off, skipping the polite kiss for a deep open-mouthed one. His tongue twisted and danced with hers desirously. Pulling back, he leaned to one of her ears, "I am ready."
"What of your trauma? I don't want to trigger it again," she whispered worriedly.
"Despair holds no power over me now," their eyes met, and she saw the resolve burning in them, "I've come to terms with my past. I will not let them hold us back from happiness." Staring off to the side, she couldn't help the emotions brought to bear. "But what is really troubling you, my Lady? I can see it plain as day on your face. I'm yours; you need not keep things from me."
Swallowing hard, she blinked back some wetness forming in her eyes. Her voice suddenly was hoarse and meek, "I don't want you to leave me after our three years." She pushed him up slightly so she could unbutton her shirt, pointing to the marks and explaining their meanings to him. "We are to have three children, Cullen." A teary smile tugged at her lips, but he was frozen in shock still looking at the symbols.
His hand brushed against her skin as if any more would damage her. "Three?" His voice was one of quiet astonishment, "We will be blessed with three?"
She nodded, "Yes, but Cullen… I love you, but the thought that myself and our children would have to leave..." A tear escaped her and she quickly swiped it away with a sniffle. The glow and softness of Cullen's face were enough to dam the rest of her tears. It was such a profound expression and feeling that their bond markings pulsed with a gentle light.
He smiled that rare radiant smile, threatening to make her melt into a puddle of longing. "I too feared you'd want to leave and I can't bear the thought. I know it's a ways off and much can happen but, I do wish to bond with you for life, if you'll have me. We'll raise our children and leave a legacy for them together. It's not the Avvar way, but you've been forced to do everything our way, that we ought to do something like Lowlanders for once."
She partly sobbed her reply with a matching resplendent smile, "I would like that very much!" Embracing, Evelyn couldn't remember a time she had been so relieved and happy. Though as he said, a lot could happen in three years, she couldn't imagine anything worse happening than they've already been through. His answer was enough to quell the worry in her gut, and with his desire to bond for life now known to her, this changed everything.
Closing her eyes, the planes of his muscular body added physical sensations to her heightened emotional state. Her natural response to his skin on hers was always instant, especially as she felt him hardening against her leg. He was feeling it too. She rolled her hips as much as she could beneath him, and he responded by nipping at her neck.
"I fear I'm not in fighting shape to roll you properly yet, my Phoenix."
She smiled again, chuckling at his insinuation, "Who said you had to do anything?" He paused, moving to gaze at her curiously. "All I require from you, husband, is that you lay here. Are you fit for that?" Evelyn cocked an eyebrow up, watching his scarred lip smirk up.
Moving to lay in the middle of the bed, she could see there was lingering soreness in his bones, but it would not hinder her designs for them. With him comfortably watching her, she slipped off the bed removing her clothing while holding his gaze. With each piece shed, he touched himself, twitching beneath the confines of his pants and humming his approval each time more skin was revealed. His eyes drank her in like a man dying of thirst. She could tell he wanted so badly to just pounce her, growling and cursing at his limitations.
Walking on the tips of her toes quietly back to the bed, she climbed up straddling his thighs. A lithe finger traced gently up the ridgeline rising from his pants, "I wonder if you ever dreamed of my mouth around you?"
His reply was husky and low, "More times than I'd care to admit."
"Good," she hummed, pushing his shirt up while laying gently over him, taking him by the bottom lip. Their mouths sparred back and forth for dominance, Cullen not used to being at the mercy of her. It seemed he was taking what he could in his recovering state, and she'd let him win that round. Surrendering her throat to him, she took in his oakmoss scent greedily as he ravaged her with his mouth.
When her neck began to ache, she grasped his strong jaw to halt him. Sitting back, she wasted no time untying his pants and pulling them down to his knees. His thick manhood sprang free, throbbing from being constrained. Gentle at first, she pumped and circled its head with her thumb. Her other hand tickled and massaged his balls gently. Evelyn watched his reactions carefully, committing to memory what he liked. Cullen watched her as if she was a halla playing teasingly with a hungry lion. Her eyes admired the taut muscles covered in his darker hair the lower her view swept. His thighs were as solid as rocks, making it a welcome challenge to straddle.
Bending, her lips kissed the tip of his cock, never breaking eye contact with the lion. Pausing, she watched his breath hitch when she took him fully in. His eyes shut and his head fell back, reveling in her attentions, "Korth's breath, Eve!" She smiled against him before actually beginning in earnest to suck on him. His hips bucked at her as much as they could, but she brought him to heel with her tongue and added a hand on his shaft.
Even as deep as she could take him, he was still too large for her, so with a firm squeeze, her mouth and hand worked in harmony to bring about his pleasure. When the telltale signs of his end began, she stopped and mounted him to his surprise. Her legs bore the brunt of her weight so she wouldn't hurt him, as she impaled herself down on him.
Once fully seated inside, her muscles worked him back up to the brink. His hand flew to her clit working feverishly so they could come together. It had been quite some time since she had such pleasure and his calloused thumb had her breathing salacious curses quickly.
Moaning shamelessly riding him, her thoughts began to ebb from her lips, "Spill into me, fill me with your seed! I will give you children worthy of your name!" There was a brief flash of astonishment across his face, before igniting him with ardent passion. Evelyn shivered at the look, breathlessly imagining what he would've done had he been fully recovered. Even her mana sparked along with the bond marking surprising them both.
Cullen's desperation to want to fuck harder imbued his words with possessiveness, "By the gods, woman, I want to watch you swell with my child!"
"Yes, Cullen! Fuck--" Everything hit her at once in a searing rapture. Evelyn cried out, writhing atop him as she felt him explode within her. Having never had a man come in her, the feeling of it alone is what sent her hot euphoric satisfaction.
Falling over, she lay beside him holding his hand tightly. After a minute of reprieve, he kissed it, "Gods, I love you. Never leave me, Eve. Never." There was a hidden desperation in his voice that told her that despite moving past his trauma, the scars would forever be there. The fear and doubt would plague him until he held his breathing child and her warm hand.
"I promise, my love." Reveling in the warmth sitting within her, her free hand reached reflexively for her belly. Upon touching it, Hakkon's gift illuminated and she wondered if it was simply by coincidence.