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Chapter 5

I had to go. After stuffing my face with cheeseburgers and some more of that magical monster meat, my bowels were screaming at me. I fidgeted as I poked the old man next to me. “Where is the, um, what do you call it, privy? You know, I have to, um, go.”

The man looked around nervously and whispered, “I am so sorry, my lord, our village doesn’t have a privy.”

Sensing my distress, Kalli made her way over. “Don’t worry, Otto, I got this.”

She tugged on my hand and gave me a malicious smirk. Come on. It’s time that you learned how to go in my world.

We walked quite a ways in the darkness as she explained things to me. The town has a special place where they handle pooping. If you have to pee just find a tree or a bush outside of the village and go. The spot is just a short way into this thicket over here. They dug a pit that they fill in every few weeks. I clean it out for them when I go so they don’t have to do as much work. Has your squatting improved since last time?

I knew she was referring to my mishap in the dungeon.

Hey, I only fell over that one time.

She giggled next to me while we walked. You only went that one time.

Well, I’ve come up with a few ideas since then.

Kalli giggled uncontrollably. Now, this I’ve gotta see.

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Hey, that’s cheating! Kalli glared at me as she stared at the porcelain throne I created by editing a leaf.

I told you that I had an idea. Why would I squat when I can just summon a toilet?

She quickly sat on my freshly made toilet and announced, Go over there. You’ve heard the saying, right? Ladies first.

I was about to have an accident by the time she let me know she was done. Kalli laughed, sharing the feeling that was raging through my body. You know, you could have just made another one for yourself, right?

Ugh. I didn’t think of that.

The seat was warm to the touch and I realized that Kalli must have used her flame to clean it when she had finished. I deleted the toilet along with my waste when I was done.

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The feast was winding down back in the village. A couple of women had ushered the children off to bed and people were starting to make their way to their various huts.

For the first time, I took in the fact that Kalli was wearing the same tattered clothing that the rest of the villagers wore.

That’s right. You lost your dress when you left. Did you show up in your underwear or something?

Kalli blushed and didn’t say anything but I could tell from her memory of the incident that she didn’t have the luxury of underwear when she arrived in Gaia. When she found her voice, she explained things to me. The dress was magical. It didn’t just make my clothes. It also gave me undergarments.

Remembering the dress in my bag, I fished it out for her.

I brought it for you.

She turned it over in her hands, inspecting the material. Where’s Suzaku?

He couldn’t cross over. That’s why the dress and Seiryu didn’t make it.

Kalli began to worry about the baby dragon that called her mother. What happened to them? You didn’t leave him alone, did you?

I sent them back to the astral realm. Byakko says I can summon them again when we return. Don’t worry.

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When Kalli disappeared into her hut to change clothes, one of the women I had seen with the kids nervously approached me and said, “Um, my lord. If it isn’t too much trouble. Um…”

Watching her fidget amused me. Normally I was the nervous one. I offered her my best smile to calm her nerves and said, “Tell me what you need. I’ll help you if I can.”

A hint of relief appeared on her face as she replied. “You see. It’s the children. They wanted to know if they could have another cookie before bed.”

I beamed at her and said, “Sure. Milk and cookies before bed is a great idea.”

The kids all squealed excitedly when I entered their hut. Seeing how they seemed to range from ages five to ten, I wondered how old a kid had to be before they got their own space.

Editing up some cookies, I asked the kids, “Is anyone here lactose intolerant?”

One of them asked, “What is labose tolerment?”

Deciding that nobody knew what I was talking about, I edited some glasses of milk and passed them out.

After taking a huge swig of milk, a little girl triumphantly announced, “Milk is super yummy if you drink it after eating a cookie.”

“If you think that’s yummy, try this,” I said, editing the milk into chocolate milk.

I almost didn’t hear Kalli above the laughter of the children as they marveled at the wonder that was chocolate milk. Mel, I told them that we are going to share a hut. Is that okay?

Making a retreat from the kid’s hut, I made my way over to where Kalli was on the map.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her hut was the one we had arrived in when I teleported. It included a pile of straw on the floor with a ragged blanket on top and a pot containing what appeared to be murky water.

Kalli had transformed the dress into a powder blue nightgown. She looked down at the bed and sighed. It’s kind of small. Do you want to make it into something comfier?

I didn’t hesitate to comply, and soon we were laying in a fluffy bed that filled the space completely. Kalli wriggled around for a few moments before saying, It’s so soft. I love this.

It’s memory foam.

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Laying in bed with Kalli reminded me of all the little things I missed when she was gone. Just feeling her next to me made me feel that everything was once again right with my world.

So, where are the Hellquists located? Did you deal with the contract already?

She shuddered beside me and clutched at my arm, pulling me closer. There was a problem, Mel. Something went wrong and I ended up here.

I began to worry that maybe we were on the wrong planet.

Where is here? This is Gaia, right?

Kalli nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. Yes, this is Gaia but it’s in the dark territory.

Is that far from your home town?

I turned to look at her. She opened her eyes when I kissed her on the nose. I don’t know how far it is. This is a forbidden land. People don’t come and go from here.

I will try to send you home again tomorrow.

Kalli suddenly pulled me closer. No, you can’t.

Don’t worry. I have a new skill where I can warp to you no matter where you go.

She shook her head with a determined look on her face. You don’t understand. There are other villages. We can’t just leave. We have to save them.

No way. We need to save you first. Then we can worry about the villagers. I’ll help cure them all once you’re free from the contract.

Kalli was adamant when she replied. Nope. My contract has at least six months left. These villagers are dying as we speak. We have to do everything that we can to save them. Nobody else is going to do it.

Isn’t there anyone else that can help?

I could feel the frustration in my girlfriend rising. There are plenty of people who can help but they won’t do it. That’s why we have to do it.

There was no arguing with Kalli when she was like that.

Very well. I guess we’ve got some villagers to save.

Kalli smiled and kissed me. Now, tell me about this new trait of yours, and why does our connection feel different?

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Congratulations. You have reached level 24

The dream was different that night. It began when I was a child. I found myself sitting at a table staring longingly at a group of kids playing handball. My chest ached with a longing to be accepted, to be a part of the group.

Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder. “Is this seat taken?”

The tiny freckled redhead didn’t wait for an answer before she slid into the seat next to me. “Is this where you grew up, Mel?”

I gaped at her. "Kalli? How are you here?”

Her laughter echoed around the playground, drawing the attention of the other kids. “You’re the one that made our connection stronger. You tell me.”

The kids had stopped playing and made their way over to us. One of them sneered at me and spoke to Kalli. “How can you hang out with him? He’s such a loser.”

The kids with the boy started chanting, “Loser. Loser. Loser.”

Kalli pointed at me and asked, “Do you mean this boy? Melvin Murphy? I can assure you, he is definitely not a loser.”

Without saying another word, she planted a kiss on my lips. It wasn’t a passionate kiss like I was used to. It was the kind of kiss that a seven-year-old gave. Our lips met briefly and then parted with a smack. I felt the dumb smile play across my lips as the other kids stared at us in shock.

One of the boys cried out, “Eww, now he’s got cooties too.”

Before I could respond, a group of girls came out of nowhere and chased the boys away. Kalli stared at me and asked, “What just happened? Are those girls your friends?”

I shook myself out of the daze I had been in and laughed. “No. They just want to kiss the boys now that you’ve kissed me. They always chase them and the boys always run away.”

“Do they ever kiss you?” She asked with a fire in her eyes.

I frowned. “Nope. Not even once.”

“Good.” She replied, kissing me again.

I woke up to find Kalli clinging to me. She yawned and muttered, I miss how warm your planet is. Gaia is so cold at night.

I laughed and explained, I just live in a warm part of my planet. Also, it doesn’t help that we are sleeping in a hut. Perhaps we can change that today.

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After another edited feast for breakfast, we set about the task of what to do next. Kalli, who had been there longer, explained, “Gaia is more dangerous than Earth. If we attempt to travel on foot, we will be set upon by monsters. Usually, there are caravans that do trade between the villages but none pass through the dark lands.”

“How do the villagers get supplies?” I asked, wondering how they survived.

The villager named Otto, who turned out to be the new village elder, explained, “We used to travel to the other villages. It was this infernal plague that put a stop to that. It has been raging through the countryside for the past year. Even if we wished to travel, the last of our wagons were lost to monsters.”

Joe’s eyes lit up at the mention of a wagon. “I can make you more wagons no problem. Just tell me what you need.”

Otto shook his head sadly and explained, “I’m afraid it’s not quite so simple. While we would love to help you out, we just can’t spare the men right now. Our numbers have been decimated by this plague. If we were to even spare one man, we would put the rest of the village in danger.”

It was my turn to offer assistance. “I think we can help with that. I have a few ideas to help out around here.”