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The Abyss That Stares
Chapter 38: Wounds of the Heart

Chapter 38: Wounds of the Heart

Sariel has her head in her arms, her knees hugged close to her chest. Joey is standing with his back leaning on the wall, his arms crossed. Mom is sitting next to Sariel, gently rubbing her back.

It turns out that the human anatomy's tear glands can be activated during emotional distress. A strange function, but I think it is to help other humans to know when they are in an unstable mental state.

"It's going to be alright Sarah." Mom says, though her voice shakes in a way that makes me think she isn't too sure herself. But it isn't a lie, technically. "Gaster is a tough boy."

"It's my fault." Sariel whispers. She has stopped 'crying', but her voice is hoarse. "If I had read their minds before-"

"It's no one's fault but theirs." Mom interrupts, and Sariel nods slowly, though I cannot see her face to see if she believes mom or not.

We have been waiting at an ' emergency hospital' for a few hours now. Apparently it is different from the doctor's office. Joey sighs and uncrosses his arms, sitting down next to me with a grunt.

"How're yeh feelin kiddo?" He asks me, and I shrug.

"I have healed my wounds." I respond, and Joey nods. "Gaster's wounds were also healed, before he was taken here. Should he not be alright?"

Joey opens his mouth to answer, then closes it and shakes his head. He leans back in the seat and crosses his arms again. "Have yeh ever seen a mutation, kiddo?" He asks, and I shake my head. The Cored members of the pack had already mutated before I was brought to them, and no new mutations had taken place while I was with them. "Good. Frankly, it's… a traumatic experience, for the one involved."

I tilt my head curiously. "Traumatic?" I ask, not quite sure of the meaning, and Joey nods.

"Aye." He confirms quietly. "A mutation will heal the person involved, if they were hurt prior to it. But from what I've heard, it's an extremely painful process. I don't know the specifics, but the body pretty much eats itself from the inside out to form the Core and repair itself from fatal injury. It's a dangerous process, and one that can be fatal if anything goes wrong."

Hmm… "What could go wrong?" I question, and Joey shrugs.

"Lots of things. Not enough nutrients in the body to sustain the mutation, for one. And if any additional harm comes to the mutant involved during the change, it tries to compensate for it. But it's not smart about it, so sometimes it overreacts." He clenches his jaw, his hands tightening on his arms. "But Gasty's mutation will be fine. It'll be fine." He repeats, and I nod.

"It will be fine." I repeat, hoping to encourage Joey. He turns to look at me, then chuckles softly and ruffles my hair.

"No touch!" I complain, and Joey grins.

"I'm going to get some snacks. Anyone want anything?" He asks, and I nod hurriedly.

"Protein bars!" I exclaim, and he nods before looking at Sariel and mom.

"Sarah? Love?" He implores, and mom shakes her head.

"No, thank you." She replies quietly, looking at the doors that lead further into the hospital. Sariel doesn't even respond, which is rude, but I suppose it is acceptable. Mind-Walker also acted this way whenever one of the pack members got hurt.

Joey walks away, and I wait patiently for him to return. But mom turns from looking at the door to me.

"JJ, you said that when the other person showed up, the one who killed the people who did this, he called them the Hands?" She asks, and I nod.

I develop the songbird syrinx. "Fucking Hands of the Makers." I mimic his voice, and mom's jaw clenche-

PREDATOR

I flinch, the fear washing over me. But I know mom is not expressing hostility at me, so I force the instinct to run away. "Are they bad?" I ask, and mom takes a deep breath. The predator feeling is gone.

"Yes. Yes they are." Is all she responds with, and I nod again.

"I thought they were wiped out." Sariel whispers, finally raising her head from her knees. Her eyes are red, and a little puffy, and she looks confused. "Our school said that the RCO purged all of their members."

Mom seems to hesitate, before shaking her head. "They were driven out of the major union cities, but… they still pop up in border settlements every now and then. Wherever RCO or the BA don't have a presence at." She answers, and I tilt my head in confusion. Another thing I must ask about later.

Sariel clenches her hands tight. "Do you think they had something to do with the Rift Entity that got into the city?" She asks, and mom nods again.

"It's too coincidental for them to be there at the same time the Entity wa-"

She cuts off as the double doors open, and we all turn to see a man in a white coat walking through them, looking at all of us for a few moments. Mom and Sariel both breathe in relief as the 'doctor' smiles.

"The mutation event has finished. Gaster is stable." He says, and mom stands up hurriedly.

"Can we see him?" She asks, and the doctor nods, holding open the door.

"You can, but he's exhausted. We hooked him up to an IV and a nutrient drip to replenish some of what he's lost, but he'll probably be out cold within the next hour or so." He says, and Sariel and I stand up as mom taps her circlet, informing Joey of Gaster's recovery.

He is back in less than a minute, sprinting through the halls with protein bars in hand and breathing roughly. He tosses me a protein bar and I tear it open to devour it.

So hungry, and so good!

"If you all wouldn't mind following me, I can take you to him." The doctor says, and we do so as he walks back through the double doors. We go through a long hallway, with lots of people in white coats and purple uniforms walking around. My ears flick as I can hear faint screams coming from different hallways.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest," the doctor says to mom and Joey as we walk, "your son is extremely lucky. It's been a long time since our hospital has dealt with a mass mutation. But he pulled through with no complications. Others… well, as I said, your son got lucky."

Mom and Joey both nod, while Sariel looks pale. "But he's fine?" She asks, and the doctor nods.

"His mutation wasn't as violent as some others were, strangely enough. Especially considering what the trigger event was. Oh, and…" He comes to a stop out front of a door, and we stop with him. "Though energy readings aren't stable this soon after a mutation, early tests show him as a class 3. I would say congratulations, but that would be in poor taste."

So Gaster is still weaker than me. Smug. But at least now he will be able to defend himself!

Mom and Joey both nod, and the doctor knocks on the door. He opens it slightly, peeking his head inside. "Gaster, you've got some visitors." He says, then steps aside so we can enter the room. We do so, and…

I pause.

Gaster looks very different. Before, he had very sufficient fat reserves on his body. But he has lost most of it, so much that he looks like the members of the pack who would get sick and couldn't eat. His cheeks are sunken, and there are deep bags under his eyes.

But he smiles, and waves. "Hey guys."

"Gaster!" Sariel exclaims, rushing forward and hugging him across the bed. He winces, but laughs and pats her back. "I thought… I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I couldn't stop…" She cuts off as she starts to cry, her shoulders shaking, and Gaster only continues to pat her back.

"Hey mom, dad. Little bro." He says, and mom is the first one after Sariel to approach. She also seems to be on the verge of crying, her lips trembling as she walks to the other side of his bed and touches him. On his face, his forehead, his hair. She cups his cheeks with her hands, and plants kisses all over it. He begins to protest, but the protest dies underneath the weight of every kiss.

"H…" Joey starts, then clears his throat. I turn to look at him, and…

JOEY IS ALSO CRYING!?

Why is everyone crying!?

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"Hey kiddo." Joey finally finishes, small tears in the corners of his eyes as he smiles. "Looks like yeh lost a lot of the Gruschwald weight. Yeh know your mom's going to feed yeh till yeh pop when yeh get home, right?"

Gaster laughs, though the sound is muffled from underneath mom's face as she rubs it with her cheek. "I know, and I'm not dying or anything! You're being really weird mom."

"Hush." She scolds, still rubbing his face with her cheek. "You're going to take my affection like a good son would. I was worried I wouldn't get to do this again."

Gaster sighs, then peeks at me through the dreads of mom's hair. "You've got chocolate on your face JJ." He laughs, pointing, and I lick my lips as I tilt my head.

"Gaster, your fingers are different." I state, and everyone pauses. He looks at his hands as mom and Sariel both lean back to look at them too. He suddenly looks embarrassed, and tries to hide his fingers underneath the blanket, but mom snatches one of his hands to study them.

"Hey!" He complains, but we all continue looking over them as mom holds his fingers up. Rather than brown like the rest of his body, his fingers have become clear, made of a substance I don't recognize. They still hold a normal finger's shape, but the material is clearly different. They sparkle slightly in the light of the room, and mom rubs his fingers with her own.

"A visible side effect of his mutation." A voice says behind us, and I turn to see the doctor standing there. "A portion of his chest and shoulder, where his wound was, is also made of the same material. Though it's not transparent like his fingers are."

Sariel reaches to pull his shirt to the side, then stops just before she can and pulls back. The hospital room becomes flooded with her pheromones, and I frown.

Control yourself Sariel!

Mom finishes the job for her, pulling the collar of his shirt down. It reveals a portion of his chest. Just like his fingers, his brown skin stops abruptly, replaced by an almost clear, but slightly cloudy, material. The cloudiness swirls slightly, and Gaster pushes mom's hands away. His face is red, and he looks embarrassed.

"I guess it's super noticeable, huh." He mumbles, and Joey nods.

"It is, but it's nothing to be ashamed about. As far as visible mutations go, I'd say yours is pretty fahkin cool looking." He says. Gaster still looks embarrassed, but he smiles slightly.

"Do you know what your Core ability does yet?" Sariel asks, and he shakes his head, though his embarrassment turns into consideration.

"Not specifically, but… I don't know, it's like I have a feeling of what it should do…" He frowns, scratching his head. "It's hard to describe."

"Instinct." I say helpfully. Mom and Sariel nod.

"That's the best way to put it, I think." Mom says. "You won't know for sure until you try, but every Core user has a rough idea of what their ability does."

Gaster nods along, raising his hand to study his fingers. He turns them in the light, than looks around the room. At first Sariel, then at me, then Joey. Until finally, his gaze rests on mom.

"Mom, dad." He says, looking between both of them. "I know that this is going to seem pretty sudden, but I had a little bit of time before they let you guys in here. To run tests and stuff. And I was thinking, I mean I've always thought it, if I somehow ever developed a Core or…" He trails off, his voice growing quieter with every word.

"What's up kiddo?" Joey asks, and Gaster takes a deep breath. His hands tighten, and he looks at both of them.

"I want to go to the Academy with JJ and Sariel."

-

Aurora hated it here.

She hated the stuffy air, the tacky inspirational pictures hanging up on the wall. She hated the way the couch she sat on enveloped her. But most of all, she hated the person sitting across from her.

Her stupid, sympathetic expression. Her dumb voice, the tone she used. Like how someone might talk to an injured dog.

"Aurora, I recognize that you have a certain… distaste for your meetings with me." The woman said, and Aurora snorted, rolling her eyes.

Yeah, dislike. That's putting it mildly. She thought, and the woman only smiled. That was what she hated the most. Her fucking smile.

"But our meetings are necessary. Not because the Academy requires me to guarantee you are mentally sound to attend." The woman, Doctor Kayeera, continued quietly. "And not because your mom pays for each session. It's necessary, because I want to help you."

"I don't need any fucking help." Aurora snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. Her leg bounced, her boot creating a steady bum bum bum against the floor. "I'm not going to have a mental breakdown or anything like that."

Kayeera nodded slowly, and leaned back, crossing her fingers in her lap. "I didn't think you were going to." She said. "But what do you think you need, if help isn't it?"

Aurora clenched her jaw. "I think I need to get out of this fucking office before I break something." She growled, turning her gaze to the side.

"And do you think that breaking something would be productive?" She asked patiently, and Aurora shrugged.

"I dunno, maybe. It sounds like a good idea right about now."

Kayeera nodded slowly once more, her eyes looking around her office before settling on something. She leaned across her seat and plucked a picture frame from her desk, inspecting it before holding it out to Aurora. "Here you go."

Aurora froze, her gaze snapping back to look at the doctor and then lowering to the picture frame. Her leg stopped bouncing, her eyes narrowing. "What?"

Kayeera pushed the picture frame further out in front of her, nodding towards it. "This. You can break it, if you want."

Aurora's eyebrows raised, her lips twitching in disbelief. "Are you fucking crazy?" She asked, and Kayeera hummed for a few moments.

"Maybe just a little?" She said, smiling lightly, and waved the picture frame in the air. "Take it. You can throw it against the wall, on the floor. You can snap it across your knee if you'd like. You could even throw it at me, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't."

Aurora studied her for a few moments, before snatching it out of her hands. "You're serious?" She asked, and the doctor nodded, gesturing for her to go ahead. Aurora's eyes narrowed again, and she looked down, turning the frame over in her hands to look at the picture held inside of it. It was of a young woman smiling out at the viewer. She was pretty enough, and resembled the doctor in a way that only family could. "Who is this, your daughter?"

The doctor laughed. "That hurts. You think I look old enough to have a daughter that age?" She asked, and Aurora shrugged. "No, it's my younger sister."

Aurora pursed her lips, her finger brushing along the glass of the frame. "You don't like this picture or something?" She questioned, and Kayeera shook her head.

"I love that picture. It's probably my favorite thing in this office." She answered, and Aurora scoffed.

"Then why the fuck are you telling me to break it?" She snapped, tossing the frame back to Kayeera who caught it deftly in her hands. She studied it for a few moments, looking back up at Aurora.

"So you're not going to break it?" She asked, and Aurora rolled her eyes.

"No, of course I'm not going to break it if it's important to you." She huffed, and Kayeera smiled, nodding as she placed it back on her desk. "So what was that, like a test or something? 'Let's see if the crazy bitch actually breaks it'?"

The doctor shook her head again, once more clasping her hands in her lap. "No, I meant what I said. If you had broken it I probably would have been sad, but I would have forgiven you. I gave you full permission to do so after all."

Aurora paused again, her brows furrowing. "Why?"

Kayeera gazed at her, then leaned forward. "I just realized that in the past sessions we've had together, we have always done this my way. Clearly my way isn't working, and I can't help you if you keep me outside of the walls you have built. This was the first time you've ever expressed a desire of any kind, so I wished to fulfill it."

This bitch is fucking weird. Aurora thought to herself.

"I don't need any help." She repeated, though with a bit less hostility than before, and Kayeera nodded.

"You're right. You don't need help." She agreed, but her eyes softened. "But it's not you who is asking me for help. Your mom is asking me for help. Your friends. You're in pain, clearly, and they don't know what to do to make it better. But I can't make them understand what would make it better, for you. Only you can."

Aurora hated the swallow she had to take. "Yeah, okay. Alright. But there's not jack shit anyone can do to make it better. There is no better, after being dead. There's only-" She choked off, angrily wiping her eyes.

"Only…" Kayeera gently urged, and Aurora took a deep breath.

"Look, my friends are dead. It sucks, and I miss them. Every fucking day, I miss them." She whispered. "They were killed by some fucking monster in a forest somewhere, and I ran. Like a fucking coward I ran, because I was scared I was going to get killed too. There is nothing better after all your friends are dead. There's only the pain left afterwards."

The doctor listened as she spoke. And when Aurora was done, the doctor didn't say anything for a few moments. "Different doctors specialize in treating different wounds." She finally began. "Surgeons, for instance, specialize in treating wounds of the body. I specialize in healing wounds of the heart."

Aurora snorted derisively. "Please spare me from your tacky, corny speeches." She said, and Kayeera laughed.

"Alright, I'll scrap that whole speech I had planned." She said, though the humor left her tone, replaced by care and concern. "But it's true. You have experienced something that very few people can even imagine. And because they can't even imagine it, they don't know what to do or say that won't hurt you. They don't even realize it, but their sympathy can be painful, can't it?"

Aurora hesitated for a few moments, but nodded. "Yeah. It fucking sucks. And it sucks more that I can't explain to them why." She admitted softly, and Kayeera uncrossed her fingers.

"So let me teach you how. You don't need help, Aurora, but I do think that you need someone who knows how to listen. To really listen, and understand what you're saying, because the absence left behind by the death of friends is something very hard to process without someone who understands."

Aurora hesitated again. She knew that everything Kayeera was doing was her training. But for the first time, she felt like she was talking to someone who understood.

"Have you lost someone too?" She asked, so very quietly, and Kayeera nodded. She turned to look behind her, and Aurora followed her gaze to settle on the picture frame. The one she had considered breaking.

"She was an Academy selectee." Kayeera murmured. "She would have started last year. But something went wrong during a training exercise, and she disappeared. Her and her entire squad."

Aurora bit her bottom lip, then took a deep breath. "Okay." She relented, and Kayeera turned back to look at her.

"Okay?" She asked, and Aurora nodded.

"How do I start?"