Satisfied, I smiled and stretched before disentangling myself from the two girls. Isabella was already asleep with an beaming smile on her face, and Brandr was simply sprawled out and breathing heavily. To be honest, I may have altered Brandr a bit too much. I don’t know how much an increase in sensitivity actually represents, but I’d increased her sensitivity twice when I was spending the cheat points on her.
From what I’d just witnessed, the increase must be much larger than what I’d originally believed – from the moment I first entered her, to the moment when I finally exited her, Brandr was stuck in an endless loop of orgasmic pleasure. Honestly, I was grateful that she had taken the ability to do without food or water. If she would’ve been ‘normal’, I honestly think she would’ve dehydrated! There must be at least a gallon of creamy liquid down her hips and under her, as each thrust of my hips made her arc and release! While I was thinking that I might need to tone that sensitivity down a notch (What if it was like the Richter scale where each increase was 10 times larger than the previous one!), I noticed that there were several small popups floating off to the side.
Congratulations!
You have now obtained the status: Married (to Oathbound Starchilde)
You have obtained the Marriage Rank: Newlywed!
You may now view your partner’s status, skills, and spells!
Due to nefarious actions, your spirituality has decreased by 5!
Congratulations!
You have now obtained the status: Married (to Zephyr Roseheart)
You have obtained the Marriage Rank: Newlywed!
You may now view your partner’s status, skills, and spells!
Congratulations!
You have obtained the title: Polygamist!
Your luck has increased by 2!
Your spirituality has decreased by 2!
Congratulations!
Your slave-sword has now obtained the status: Married (to Bloody Hell)
They have obtained the Marriage Rank: Newlywed!
They may now view their partner’s status, skills, and spells!
Their status has been altered to: Slave-Wife!
WOW! Lots of messages. According to the system, apparently I truly was married to both girls now. Also, it seemed as if there might be different rankings in marriage, and they offered various benefits. As a newlywed, I could view my partner’s statuses, skills, and spells. Amusingly enough, apparently the system thought I was lucky for getting two different wives. And, apparently, those stupid Gods didn’t approve of me marrying a demon, nor of me having more than a single wife.
Screw them!
If the gods don’t approve of who I take as my wife (or wives in this case), then I simply won’t approve of the gods. “Hey Gods! You standing with Drake has now decreased by infinity! Hear me, you jackasses?!” I shook my hand at the sky to let them know how I felt about them.
DING! A message window instantly popped up in response!
Congratulations!
The monthly respawn has begun!
Merry Christmas!!
What?!
Various goblin screams echoed from out in the hallway – thank goodness Isabella had left the door open when she’d last came in! “Brand, wake Izzy! Something bad is happening!” Without pausing to get dressed, I grabbed up my tail spike and rushed out the door and into the hallway. Cracks were beginning to open in the classrooms once again, and new monsters were starting to slowly crawl out and into the rooms.
Isabella and Brandr should be safe where they were for now, if the cracks opened in the same places as last time, so I dashed down the hall as quickly as possible to get to the room where the other girls were. “Get in the room with Iz and Brand!” I shouted at the little female goblins, but they couldn’t understand me. I hoped that they’d be OK, but I had to prioritize the safety of humans – even living corpses of humans – first.
Sliding into the last room at a breakneck speed, I crashed into a small black figure climbing out of a crack in the blackboard and it shattered into a dozen pieces. Chunks of something sprayed across the room and much to my amazement the crack was already starting to shrink in size. Before I could really sort out all the details of what was happening, a resounding bellow echoed from behind me and I felt a resounding pain in my back as I was flung across the room to crash into the far wall.
Moaning at the sudden shock, I stumbled back to my feet and turned around to find myself face-to-face with a nine foot tall minotaur. A nine foot tall Christmas minotaur! Its skin was a deep black chocolate. Its eyes were gumdrops, and the teeth looked like broken candy canes. Its massive axe had a huge candy cane handle and the blade itself appeared to be made of hard peanut brittle. The horns on its head were oversized marshmallow cones.
While I was blinking away my surprise, the beast roared and charged me, head lowered. The horns might look like marshmallows but they stabbed deeply into my side and the beast crashed into the wall with me impaled on them. Agony ran up my stomach and I slammed my spike into the creatures head repeatedly. Thick deep fluid poured out from its skull and the smell of cherry was heavy in the air – it even had syrup for blood!
For several long moments we crashed and slammed against each other until finally the minotaur slowly sank to its knees and fell over. “RAAAAHHHHHRRRRR!!!” I gave a roar of victory! This might not have been the beast that killed me the first time, but it was a minotaur of some sort and I felt a surge of satisfaction in defeating it, as proxy.
Looking at the party window, I could see that both Isabella and Brandr were slightly wounded, nothing serious at this point, but not something which I wanted to get any worse. Since the crack had closed at this point, I glanced back and saw that the two ‘weak ones’ were still on all fours and simply staring out the window oblivious to what was going on around them. Figuring they would be safe for now, I dashed back out an into the hall where a scene of wild mayhem was occurring!
Rats made out of fruitcake were swarming the hall and Brandr and Isabella was trying to keep them away from the goblins who were all trying to cram into the teacher’s lounge. I’d already been exposed to the destructive power of the rat swarm, and I didn’t want the girls to suffer the same fate that I had so I desperately charged forward and jumped into the rear of the battle.
The fruit-rats here were only about the size of a small cat, so I knew these were the common ‘babes’ of the nest. They were so low to the ground that stabbing at them with my spike wasn’t possible, so I simply kicked and stomped at them, sending broken pieces of fruitcake scattering everywhere. Isabella was cussing heavily, and that shocked me! I didn’t think she was the type to use such colorful language, but apparently being awakened after her honeymoon put her in a rather foul mood. Personally, I was just glad that this respawning didn’t occur while we were in the middle of our frenzied passion!
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“Brand! Iz!” I yelled at them, “See if you can shut that door for the goblins. Hopefully they’re all in there by now! The rats shouldn’t be able to open it, so they should be safe in there!” Brandr dashed back in one quick hop and slammed the door shut with a resounding crash. Then with another great leap, she flew forward and back into the rats before they could close the distance to Isabella. Small balls of fire flew repeatedly from Isabella’s hands and the smell of burning and scorched fruitcake was thick in the air.
For several long moments we fought and destroyed the small rats that were pouring into the hallway, and then when a brief pause in the battle occurred, Brandr and Isabella rushed past the doorway to join me on the side I was on. No sooner had they rushed past the door than a set of loud growls echoed from the classroom and several larger dog-sized rats came rushing out into the hall. These looked as if they were made from fudge, and their teeth and claws were white chocolate.
With a rush, they charged and Brandr and I braced to hold them off while Isabella flung ball after ball of blazing blue fire past us. Chocolate teeth sank into my leg, and I stabbed frantically at the rat’s skull. Syrup sprayed all around us, and Brandr’s blade was a whirl of destruction. Chunks of fudge and chocolate rat flew as she sliced left and right into the rats that got within her reach.
“Back up!” I yelled. If I was right, there was going to be a nasty bastard coming out of the room soon! “Back! And make certain to save some magic Iz – the boss is coming!” Isabella nodded and ran all the way down the hall and into the room where the two ‘weak ones’ were. As she was heading into the room with the girls, the rat champion pounced out of the room and into the hallway facing us.
The beast was the size of a large pony, and it appeared to be made out of hard caramel. Its claws were white and dark chocolate covered pretzel, and its tail was a long strand of licorice with a candy cane icicle-spike at the tip of it. The instant it saw us, it barreled down the hall; long tail striking out lighting fast in front of it. I managed to leap to the side to avoid the tail and its spike, but doing so knocked me off balance and the beast barreled into me and send me flying end over end tumbling down the hallway.
By the time I had regained my feet and my senses, Brandr and it were slicing and clawing heavily at each other. The rats tail had been severed, but Brandr had a long bleeding gash down her stomach and hip that was bleeding heavily. Her speed and reflexes was much higher than the rats, but its sheer size in the hallway made it almost impossible to dodge fully.
With a yell, “BOOOO BEEEEEES!”, I charged into the fray and rushed up the hallway, lowered my shoulder, and slammed full speed into the rat’s face and shoulder. A small crack appeared in its caramel face, but I, myself, flipped over the creatures head and shoulder and bounced across it to crash into the floor and wall with a resounding bang. I was hoping to knock it away from Brandr to give her room for a full swing of her blade, but it was simply too large and massive to budge so easily.
Staggering up, I almost dropped my spike. My right arm was numb and I could barely grip the spike in my hand. I’m assuming I either broke my arm or dislocated my shoulder in that fruitless attack.
Damn it!
Quickly I swapped the spike over to my left hand, and then I charged the Rat Champion. Its back was to me now, and in a surge of desperation to keep Brandr’s falling health from going any lower – she was down to a little less than half life now – I tossed myself across the beast’s wide back and started slamming my spike into its head where the crack had appeared from my shoulder slam.
The beast was too large to maneuver in the hall, and Brandr’s blade kept it from rising up and spilling me off its back, so I repeatedly keep slamming my spike into the ever-widening cracks across its face. After several repeated strikes, pieces of caramel started falling off the beast. A few more sound hits after that, the caramel face crumbled, and the Rat Champion collapsed in a cracked heap upon the floor.
Looking around, the hallway here seemed clear for the moment and Isabella was coming back out of the room at the stairs with a three balls of flame hovering in the air before her. We were all hurt, but Brandr seemed to have taken the brunt of damage percentage-wise. (I’d probably taken more damage over all, but then I had a lot more life overall, so I could afford to take a few extra hits.) Looking at the party windows, Isabella was about at about 80% life, Brandr around 40%, and I was still around 50% life.
And that’s when a joyous “Ho! Ho! Ho!” came echoing down the hall from the rooftop.
Not knowing what to expect, I ran down to the room where Isabella had just left, and I tried to dash past her to the roof. But, down the hall, Santa Claws came with a bound!
He was dressed all in red licorice, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with sprinkled ashes and cookie-crumble sootl
A bundle of candy-cane spears he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a monster just opening his pack.
His eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were chocolate roses, his nose was a cherry!
His dastardly mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as stained red like bloody-snow;
The stumpy candy pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And fire and smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a snarling face and a big fat belly
That shook when he howled, and almost made my knees as weak as jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right nasty old goblin,
And I cringed when I saw him, fearing he’d put me in my coffin!
He winked his eye, and rotated his head
Like a possessed person, I know I had a lot to dread!
He spoke not a word, but charged straight forward into me,
And clawed me heavily and knocked me to my knees!
He slammed his fist upside my nose,
And head over heels, my body arose!
The wind flew out of me in one huge whistle,
And then he stomped on me and ground me under his feet like a thistle!
I heard him exclaim as I was starting to lose my sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
My life was hanging by a hair, when balls of fire flew through the air,
And a blade slashed past me fast with a flare!
Santa Claws screeched and I struggled to rise,
And the goblin bastard was toppled over to his side!
Not allowing this moment to pass,
I shoved my spike as hard as I could up his ass!
Syrupy ichor poured all over my hand,
As Santa Claws screeched like a demon band.
Both of his hands came down to grab his pierced rear,
And Brandr’s blade struck swiftly and knocked his head clear.
With a shout of joy, I tried to clear my head,
That Santa Claws bastard, he was dead!!
DING!
Congratulations!
Santa Claws has been defeated!
The month respawn event has now ended!
Merry Christmas!!
About damn time.
Now I just had to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, and why I 'witnessed' that last part all in rhyme.