On the other side of the water bowl was an older wizard with a similar hat to mine. It even drooped over like a deflated tree on top of his head, like mine. “Thank you for calling customer service. How can I help you?” I said.
“Hey there, sonny, no offense, but can you get me someone older? I need someone that has worked with brooms over decades to solve my problem.” The man said.
“Well, you’re just in luck because I’m 620, and have worked with the company for 2 centuries. You could say I am over qualified to help you. I may only look twenty, but that’s a gift of immortality.”
“Oh wow, that’s older than me! Forgive me, I thought you were one of those young whippersnappers that just discovered magic. Anyway, I bought this broom, and it just isn’t accepting my magic; I can’t even use it to fly. In fact, Sometimes I confuse it with the broom I used to sweep the floor.”
“I can understand your frustration sir, do you have the model with you?”
“Uh yeah, let me get it.” He said and then walked out of sight of the portal. A moment later, he returned with the broom. “Okay, here it is, the Demon Beamer 5000.”
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Whoever names these products is getting a bit carried away; they just keep getting even more ridiculous. “Sir, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you a warlock?” I said.
“Nope, I’m human in flesh and blood.”
“Oh sir, we specifically designed that broom for warlocks. I’m surprised you’re still alive with all the demonic energy that the broom produces. For your inconvenience, send the broom back to us, and we will exchange it for a broom of equal value, the Sky Blaster 3690.” I said, grabbing a notepad and feather pen. “Okay sir, I just need your coordinates, and we can send over the broom right away.” The man gave me his information, then we ended the call.
Getting up from my desk, I headed to the claims department. Inside this massive three-story tree, it held three departments that operated together to provide our customers with the best experience possible—Production & Supply at the top, claims in the middle, and at the bottom is my department, Customer Service.
After I submitted my request, I went back downstairs to my cubical. On the way, I thought more about what Tina said this morning. Maybe it was time to ask Jim again for that promotion. I mean, I don’t really have anything to lose.
I went past my cubical and straight to the large Grand Master Customer Service Wizard’s office. Knocking on the door, I heard a voice behind it say, “Come in,” and I opened the door.