They say that you don’t exactly know what happens to you after death. Some have died and have come back from that state and have shared their experiences. It’s just a black void. Someone on the other side is telling them to go back, that it is not their “time” yet. Some come back changed. Forever. Me though? I was not that lucky. I lay there in space after a planet exploded, barely alive and floating amongst the debris, barely being able to see myself. I knew full well most of my body was missing, part of my left leg intact while my arms were barely hanging on and my brain, in shock, trying to send signals to parts no longer there.
I heard a female voice in my head. A voice I had never heard before but it had a motherly tone to it, which, in those dying moments, comforted me and made me forget about how I was dying briefly. “Young one…” she said softly. “Your time may have ended here, but your journey has not. You will continue, but anew. Rest for now, and you’ll be reborn into your new life… your new journey.” The words were comforting. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, as I was floating through space and debris, slowly dying to either shock, blood loss, or being out in space with no way to breathe or even all the above…
[Unknown amount of time later]
I awoke in an unfamiliar place like I had been there my entire life. Where is this place, though? Looking around, I saw that my bed was mostly made of straw and out in the open, with nothing to protect me from the elements. It did not matter, though, as the temperature was mostly warm, since there was no true weather cycle. Where is here exactly, though? Like most situations, you get interrupted when you try to think about where you are or who you are.
“C’mon, get up. You’re fully healed and ready for service. Stop wasting time. The Arch’s dislike those who keep them waiting. Today is when you prove you’re either a survivor or succumb like the weaklings. If you come back, we shall go from there.” Said a rather muscular voice from behind me. His voice sounded somewhat deep, and judging from where his voice came from, possibly someone who towered over me. I looked behind me and had made the mistake of going, “Huh?” Which only angered this being.
“You heard me… NOW GET UP!” he yelled with a deep roar. Not wanting to find out what would happen next, I immediately got up. “Good. Now, follow that group over there, and you will be equipped with the gear you lousy lower classes get.”
The thing about this place is that unless you were born from a Royal bride, you were considered an expendable pawn until you proved yourself worthy. Casualty rates for this level were about 95%, and those who returned would be sent on a new mission where they’d either perish or live long enough to be sent on more missions where you were expected to eventually die. You were essentially just a slave meant to combat the enemies of this forsaken land, but we’ll get into that later.
I followed a small group of others similar to my likeness. Wait a minute, who am I exactly? What am I? I glanced down, patting my body up and down as though one would pat their suit to try and straighten some creases, or at least attempt to. From what I could feel, it felt like my back had… wings? Are these wings? The rest of me had feathers and odd-looking feet like a bird's. Feeling around some more, my face resembled a bird as well. “Interesting…” I thought to myself. I couldn’t help but wonder what that voice did to me. Wasn’t I just an ordinary human before? How’d I get here, and why am I here?
“C’mon Thadeus, we’re going to be late, and this brother does not like it when his men are late for gearing up. He’ll have our heads before we can even prove ourselves to the Arch’s and hopefully finally start getting better gear, housing, and a mate.” I looked around for who said that. I made eye contact with someone else who looked similar. I think. I’m not quite sure, I still haven’t had the chance to see my own reflection. I could look like one of these creatures I see all around me. They took a step closer to me, giving me a concerned look. “Thadeus, are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself today.”
How does one answer this question when you don’t even know what you look like? It felt like I was born into an adult body in a new land, knowing a language I never knew before. Wait. Have I heard this language before? Did I just have an intense dream that I was a human before, who had died from an unknown cause that I just cannot remember? Maybe it was just a dream…
I looked away and attempted to sound as though I was confident, “I’m perfectly fine. Looking forward to finally going out on this mission with my fellow brothers.” What is it that I’m doing, though, and why? “NEXT!” a voice from ahead of me called. I had zoned out as the man yelled at me, “HEY, GET UP HERE, LOWER SCUM!” I looked up and realized that I was the next one in line.
“You got a fun one today…” the man snickered. He was geared up in what appeared to be full leather armor, even on his wings. He handed me a short sword that looked like it was found at the bottom of the ocean. The blade was all rusty and had knicks all over the blade. The handle itself looked like it barely held everything together. Along with the sword, I was also given a small buckler shield with what appeared to be the symbol of the Arch-Brother Gabriel. Wait, how do I know this?
The worst part about this new place is that it appears to be like living in the Middle Ages of Earth. This place had 4-Tiers of lifestyles, and I was at the very bottom of those tiers. Once you get to Tier 3, you’re considered part of the Kingdom’s elite class and don’t have to go on missions where you have a 5% chance of returning. Instead, you could sit around all day or even pick on those they considered unworthy without consequences.
I walked over to others with similar shields to mine, hoping I was in the right place. This was the first time that I could recall being in this place. While others were chatting, I stood there for what seemed like forever, watching and listening to what these fellow soldiers had to say. Some were talking about their plans for when they finally get out of this lower-level personal hell, while others were talking about how they want to return enough to get the right to breed with a female that is chosen for you. Some societies allowed you to choose your own mate, but not this one. In this one, the Arch-Brothers choose who you shall mate with. Not everyone is even promised one, though.
“Listen up, Soldiers of the Holy Kingdom, of Gabriel’s Warriors brigade, today you have been personally selected by the Master Angel himself to do a dangerous task. Some of you may not survive, but this mission is very important. An unholy beast is threatening to take our lands in our lower region, and we need this beast slain, for it is an abomination to the mighty Lord himself. While we were all created equal, they were not created like us. At all. So, your task is to eliminate this being. Those who make it back shall be rewarded. Those who did not, well… you died in the name of the Holy Kingdom, and you shall be remembered. There is no time for questions, so prepare to move out.” The body this voice belonged to was wearing what appeared to be full plate mail, silver in color with a yellow cross across the breastplate. At his hip was a very large looking sword. Due to his armor, it was hard to see how he looked. He sounded confident in us though.. He was wrong to have that confidence in us.
We gathered up near a round rock with some sort of hieroglyphics carved all over it, and we were told to just rush right in when the Portal opened. The group of us raised our bucklers as the Portal opened and went right in. The air in this new spot seemed different. It was foggy, there were trees around, and it looked like we were in a swamp. The others rushed ahead of me while I took the time to examine the spot we landed in. It was wide open, stinky, and miserable overall. While looking around, I found a tree with a hole near the stump. Something was calling me to this hole. But why?
As I checked the hole, I saw a white ball-like object in there, but when I went to grab it, it felt like it sucked some of my energy out of it. “What the fuck is this?” I exclaimed, weirded out by this experience. My right hand felt like I had sat on it for the last hour, and the blood flow was finally returning. The screams from the others I came here with broke my focus on this. It went from war cries and chanting to screams of agony. I stopped messing around with this strange ball and went into the last known direction where the others were. As I arrived, this giant, green-colored creature with brown horns sticking out from his head. He wore a brown loincloth around his waist. I must’ve taken longer than I thought, as he had started a campfire and cooked up those with me. What the fuck is with this guy?
I picked up a rock and threw it at him, but he didn’t seem to notice, or possibly just didn’t care. Seeing all the blood and bodies, I wanted to turn tail and run. But I somehow just knew that if I went back without killing this beast, I’d be killed upon return. I sighed slightly, raised my sword, and charged at this thing, knowing full well I was going to die. I was dead either way, though. Might as well attempt to fight this thing.
The beast heard me as I was loudly charging in. It looked angry that I had disrupted its victory meal. It won’t get me. I’ll just be smart about this. It threw away a leg it was devouring, and I thought this beast was far smaller than it was. I was about six feet away when it grabbed me by my legs, causing my sword to drop because of the sudden force that caused it to fall apart. “You interrupt meal. Your kind bugs compared to my kind. Silly birdy people weak. Bones break easy. Watch this.” He took his other hand and squeezed my leg. I screamed out in pain. It felt as though my bones had been ground into powder. I don’t want to die this way. I won’t die this way. I’ll at least go down fighting. The beast thought I was done until it decided to try and bring me close to its face, probably thinking about swallowing me whole.
I felt my shield hanging off my back, and I was lucky enough to be able to grab it. I chucked it at the beast’s face as hard as I could, hitting it in the eye. “OWWWW, MY EYE. MY EYE.” It shouted as it dropped me. “EYE HURT, WHY DO THAT!?” Did I just piss this thing off? Am I more fucked now? I managed to fall near the blade of a sword and used that to prop myself up. “You don’t scare me! I’ll kill you; I promise that.” I yelled at it. The beast looked at me with its remaining eye and started to laugh. A laugh that, if you had heard, would send shivers down your spine and all the hair on your body would stand up. “What mean? You weak, look at leg. Leg no there. You no last long, you stupid Angel.”
An angel? Is that what I am? How’d I get to this body anyway?
I hobbled towards the beast, wincing in pain with every step. The beast watched me and continued to laugh as I made a feeble attempt to fight this beast. Knowing full well that I would lose this fight, I fell to my good knee and used the blade of the sword to take a slash at the beast’s leg. The laughter stopped. I looked up to find a very unhappy look on its face. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. I broke the silence and said again, “I’m here to slay you…”
“No. Not slay, die. I slay you, you no slay me.” The beast made a fist and raised it as high as it could. Not wanting to die with what little I did, I started to fight the beast’s leg as it was the only thing I could achieve, not being able to stand. Then things just went black momentarily. Where am I? Am I dead? What’s going on?
The voice I had heard while floating out in space had reappeared in my head. “Oh no, you’re not done yet. Not this easily…” Then, the void faded. My eyes opened, and I was back at the tree. Wait, I’m alive? I took a few moments to gather my bearings as a giant green beast had just squashed me moments before. Was I dreaming? I looked inside the tree and saw that the ball object had gone from a white color to having energy swirling around on the inside. While I had never seen this before, something in my head told me it was a way for me to save my energy, and if I had a mishap, it’d allow me to keep coming back. Interesting… how do I know this?
I looked back in the direction of where the beast was camped out. At this point, I could see it looking around in confusion. I ran back over there, managed to jump on its back, and started to punch it in the head, its bad eye, and any place that felt soft. After a few solid hits, the beast tried to grab me off of it but kept failing to do so. Eventually, it said “You annoy me. You no die!” Then suddenly, things were vertical, and I woke up at the tree again.
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For the next several hours, I kept going from the tree back to the beast. Fighting it little by little and repeating the cycle of dying and being resurrected by this strange object. Eventually, it became exhausted enough to knock itself out, and I used a sword from one of my fellow warriors to pierce the skin and stab it through the heart. Then, to prove that I killed it, I cut off one of its horn.
I took a moment to rest, gather my thoughts, and to process what had just happened. Out of 10 of us sent to dispatch this beast, I was the only one who came out alive. How was I going to explain this once I got back? I walked back to the tree and grabbed the ball out, staring into it for a few seconds before placing it in my armor. I went back to where the Portal was in the area, and it wasn’t there. I decided to sit down and wait in the hope they’d potentially send a scouting party to see if the deed had been done.
A few nights had passed since I defeated the beast, and I was still in that swamp. I was starting to wonder if this was just a ploy and that they expected nobody to return, and nobody here actually mattered. As I was thinking about giving up on the idea of being rescued, I heard a sound behind me and saw a portal open. Out of it came three soldiers, all wearing silver-colored armor that glimmered in the sun. They were fully covered, and on the armor, there was a half-sun with a brown cross in front of it. This seemed a little strange that angels of this caliber would come to assist.
“You survived, brother, well done. Do you have proof of the demise of the demon? Show us now, or be branded a traitor to the Holy Empire,” one of them said demandingly. He held out his hand and motioned for me to place something there. I placed the horn in his hand, took a step back, and kneeled. Why am I kneeling? “Ah, very good. A prized piece of the beast that Orcs would not part with at all. Very good. You may enter the Portal to go back. You shall report to the Lord Mateaus upon your arrival.” I nodded and went through the Portal. It was a very different area than what we had embarked from.
As I got back into the Kingdom, I was greeted by someone in gray armor with gold outlines and a helm that suggested they were part of the Angelic High Order.
“Very impressive Thadeus, you’ve managed to take out a very strong opponent with little to no training beforehand. You are deemed worthy to join the Order as you are the sole survivor of dispatching an Orc of high caliber. You will be given another mission to do, and if you survive that, we will initiate you into the High Order under Gabriel, and you will move forward from the lowest filth to his personal assistant.” He stated. I stood there, confused.
Less than a week ago, I had just awoken in a strange place after floating through space, barely alive. Now I’m something called an Angel and having to prove myself through errands and being initiated into some sort of High Angelic Order. But what could be worse than taking out an Orc?
[Fast Forward a few weeks]
Despite not being sent on another mission to prove myself further, right away, they invited me to a much nicer place within the Kingdom. Rather than sleeping on straw placed over dirt, I had my own personal quarters. It wasn’t very large but had an actual bed and a place to hold my armor and whatever weapons I had. Since I wasn’t considered to be part of the Holy Order yet, my armor was still basic leather mixed with some metal around the shoulders, but at least my sword wasn’t a rusting piece of scrap metal. While I had a personal assistant assigned to me, I didn’t rely on them and would let them relax most of the time in my quarters. However, to keep up appearances, I would have them fetch small things just to make it seem like I was utilizing them. The truth was, I enjoyed being able to talk to them as the others around me were all sorts of stuck up. I chose to keep my head down and just ignore them.
A few days later, someone came in and stated that it was finally time for me to start this next mission. They walked up a flight of stairs and on the way up, they gave me explicit instructions to not make eye contact with anyone and to remain kneeled with my head down. I was very curious as to who I was about to meet, and I would not be able to make eye contact with them. When we finally reached the top of the stairs, the door was ginormous. It was about 14 feet tall and looked like it was made of oak-type trees with gold jewelry dotted all along the edges. The door slowly opened and made a squeeeeee sound the entire time.
“Thadeus, you may enter.” A voice from in the distance said. It was hard to see anything as it was pitch black. I looked at the escort behind me, he winked and motioned for me to go in. Well then… okay. I slowly walked in before I bumped into what felt like a podium of some sorts. Shortly after running into it, 4 lights appeared over the others.
“Bow Thadeus, for we are the Arch-Brothers. I shall be speaking directly to you as you are within my clan for now. I am Arch-Brother Gabriel, and you shall serve me.” His voice echoed throughout the chambers. I remembered what the escort had told me, so I dropped to a knee and looked down at the ground.
“Ah, very good. You are obedient, after all. We thought you would be, but we wanted to make sure. Before you can become part of the Order, we must give you another test to ensure you make it back. If you die, then you die a hero who shall not be forgotten. If you succeed, you return with glory and shall be part of the Holy Order. Do you accept these terms?”
I figured if I was going to die, I should at least have the right to face those who were looking at me. I slowly stood myself up and raised my head. “Master Angels, forgive me, but I’d like to lay eyes on those before me before I die.” What if this causes me to die instead? What if I just broke some sort of law? Oh well…
One of the others let out a laugh. “What is so funny here, Brother Michael? Does this one disobeying make you laugh? C’mon now, tell the rest of us,” one of the others shouted at him.
“This young one in front of us has fought a fiendish demonic Orc, cut off its horn, and has the audacity to look at us and claim before his death that he shall look at us in the flesh. I like this one, and if Gabriel hadn’t claimed him, I would have, as this one is different than the other peons we have. This one better come back full of glory and victory.” Michael responded in between laughter. He had a grin on his face but appeared to be proud of the fact that I defied them.
“Let's get back to this current ordeal. This mission, Thadeus, you’ll be going on will be by yourself. You have two moons to defeat this other creature that has been deemed as a demon to the Kingdom itself.” They showed me a picture of the beast. It was tall, slender and looked as though it hadn’t eaten for quite a while. “Yes, my lords, it shall be done,” I said as I bowed towards them.
“Very good. Don’t come back alive if you fail to defeat the creature.”
I was ushered off to my quarters, where I grabbed my sword, armor, and the ball. I had a feeling I was going to need it. I managed to tuck it into my armor and then informed the guard that I was ready for the mission. Just before departure, he informed me that they were unable to get me close to the target and that I would have to hike a bit to get to the location. I asked about flying, but they said I needed to sneak up on the creature; otherwise, it would harm me before I could ever see it. I nodded and walked through the Portal.
I only had two moons to complete this mission. I had to work quickly to figure out where this creature was first. Thankfully, I was given a picture of the being, and there were human villages nearby where I had exited. I walked up to the first village, and I was greeted by an arrow landing directly in front of me. I heard a man's voice yell out, “Your kind isn’t welcome here, Angel; tell me what business you have here!” I put my hand above my eyes to see if I could see where exactly this voice was coming from. I took a step to the right and placed my hands up in the air with the picture in clear view. “Hello! I am on an extermination mission and was wondering if I could approach to show you a picture?” I yelled back. I could see the man with the bow lowering it before one of them shouted, “Step forward with you, but keep your arms away from your waist.”
I slowly walked forward while keeping my arms up in the air. When I finally got close enough, one of them came close to me and disarmed me of my sword. “Very good. You may lower your arms, Lord Angel, but just so you know, you may not stay here longer than you need to.” The man who had previously shouted at me took the photo out of my hand, looked shocked, and stated, “This… this monster has been stealing our livestock and crops and has even dragged away a few of the small children over the last month or so. We didn’t think it’d catch the attention of the Holy Kingdom as they don’t care to help our kind out without it benefiting them.”
I shrugged as I had no clue about the situation other than the extermination of this creature being handed to me as some sort of test. Although, it was made to sound like I was going to have to do another day’s hike to get where I needed to go. “Since this creature is attacking your village, I’d like to be able to stay here until the task is complete. I can promise that if you help the Kingdom, we shall leave you alone and not ask for anything in return since you are assisting an Angel of the High Kingdom. Your debt will be paid.” I wasn’t sure about anything I was saying and wasn’t sure if my word would matter, nor if the Holy Kingdom would leave them to their vices.
The men looked at one another, then back at me, and nodded. They told me that as long as I was there to slay the beast on behalf of both them and the Kingdom, I could stay as long as I needed. I looked up at the sky and could tell it was the first moon’s approach. Meaning I was low on time. I looked around for a suitable spot where I would not interrupt anyone and found an old barn that was unused. I motioned at it, hoping they’d be okay with me taking up that for the remainder of my time there. Surprisingly, they nodded. I went in and found some old hay just outside in a field that I used to hide my little ball of resurrection.
As it got darker outside, I heard bells going off in the distance and running outside. I stepped outside, and one of the men from earlier stated that they were going to need my help as the village was under attack by the creature. I wasn’t sure where I had to go, but it became very apparent when I heard a child scream from just down the road. Following the sounds of the screams and a trail from a child’s hands being dragged through the dirt, I eventually caught up to them.
The being turned around quickly, letting go of the child’s legs, and hissed at me. It looked nothing like it did in the picture other than looking sickly. Its eyes were pure black; it had cat-like ears, green-colored scales, and a pink tongue that looked snake-like.
After hesitating for a few moments, I finally worked up the courage to engage it. It was far quicker than I and eventually was squeezing me by the throat as if we were engaged in some form of kinky sex. But it wasn’t. It was miserable as I was not only choking but being beaten to death, and I couldn’t even move any part of my body. I lost consciousness and found myself back in the barn. I ran back to the spot, just as it was picking up the poor child again, and shouted, “Hey! Did you miss me?” The being turned back and looked confused.
This time, I threw the first punches before getting pinned up against a wall and handled roughly. This constant state of death and resurrection went on for at least another few hours before the creature was finally eliminated. Cause of death? Exhaustion. Once again, I won another major battle, but it was from being able to return over and over. But this battle caused something to change in me and in the form of trauma. Being pinned against a wall while being choked to death most of the time caused me to be fearful of anything tight around my neck.
By the time I had defeated the creature, it was almost the second moon. I went back to the barn, tucked away my lucky little ball into my armor, and retrieved the body of the creature before running back to where the Portal was going to open. To my surprise, the Portal was already open when I got there.
“Ah, welcome back Thadeus. Glad to see you’re alive and well, with no scratches. Plus, you even got the entire body to show you did this successfully. Very well. You have proven your worth to the Order.” Someone from my right said. It made me jump a little bit as I did not sense him nor expect anyone to be here quite yet. I looked around before realizing who it was. The same man who had taken me to the Arch-Brothers was also the same man who was there.
“Yes, I did it. I told the people of that village that in exchange for their help, we’d leave them be. If it weren’t for their help, the creature would’ve gotten away.” I was bending the truth a bit, but I really hoped I had the power to state this confidently and get away with it.
“Hmm. Very well. We shall leave them alone, but we will reward them for their help in capturing this vile demon.” He replied. He sounded sincere. I bowed. “C'mon, we have to go before the Elders to get this started for you. It’s likely you will have to never do these things ever again as you appear to be destined for far greater things, such as serving one of the Master Angels.”
I walked through the Portal but dropped to the ground once through. I don’t remember much other than waking up in some sort of medical area. Not many are lucky enough to be even placed there. Most who dropped after coming back from a mission were just thrown to the side. I must have been special. “Ah, good to see you awake. You’ve been out for a while.”
“What happened?” I groggily asked. It felt as though I had been sedated.
“From what we were told, you faced a very powerful and ugly demon, and upon your return, you passed out. You probably used up all your power and strength to do that. But… since you were a hero, you got placed here and received the best healing our healers could offer. You have been out for a week. Now that you’re awake, though, it is time for you to return to the Holy Order for your ceremony.” Strangely, the healer said this as if it was normal to just kick someone out of bed after shortly waking up and informing them they had to go before the council. So I got up and walked outside the building.
Instantly, someone placed their hand on my shoulder and said, “Come with me.” I looked over and just nodded and followed.