“Vertue, the boy today, please go easy on him.”
“Got it dad, I won’t do anything to his reproductives”
Mother said to tell him the line about reproductives, which means not to injure a man between his legs. Apparently, that’s where a man’s soul is, but I’m not sure.
“It’s fine here, but in public it’s—”
“Father right? Geez, you worry too much... I’ll be off then”
“Haaah... Take care”
Take care, meaning don’t kill him. Of course, I wouldn’t. I don’t kill unless they’re trying to kill me. This law of the jungle, isn’t exempt for any intelligent civilization, human or otherkin. The court nobles may argue such a thing is primitive and inhumane, but anyone would choose to fight and kill their enemy, when they, their loved ones face danger.
These years without war must’ve softened those aristocrats. What with their exotic blends of tea, and savanna monster hunting, they’ve probably never felt real danger in their whole life. No, one of the maids were saying how her previous master was always dying from fleas. Hah! Domestic pigs the lot of them! They’ll never feel the thrill of killing hordes of goblins, the joy of shoving rusted arrows through a goblin witch’s blowhole, the ecstasy of—
“Princess, your drool. You’re thinking of goblins again, aren’t you? Haah, this is why you can’t get a man“
“Ah thanks— But hey! Lay off my case, Lizx! Just what are you implying about me and g-goblins? I... I can get a man anytime I want. Like, Snap, you know, Snap!”
“Fine, fine. Vert and goblins are, special. Men are different right? Like sweets for one stomach and meat for another~”
Lizx wipes at my mouth (that is absolutely not leaking drool) with a clean white handkerchief she took out from somewhere. This personal maid of mine is at it again with her over-familiar attitude. No, I did tell her to be open with me, but why does she bring up goblins all the time?
“So it’s the Archduke’s son today...”
“Yes, Archduke Helion Perio’s first born, Sir Lisium. He announced that he would be waiting for you on his treasured zenhorse outside the arena”
“Lily-livered Lisium huh. I haven’t fought him yet? I was sure I dueledtraumatized all the big names already“
“Almost, there is Sir Lisium who’d been sick for the past few years, and a Lonbo, let’s see, third son from the Archa house who’s away on higher education studies.”
We were indeed, currently, walking towards the arena. It’s only 20 minutes away from the castle, but our pace makes that 10. Lizx was flicking away her slender fingers on, most likely her Help Menu, where she keeps a list of all my challengersvictims. She’s got weird hobbies. But when I tell her that, she starts talking about goblins again. I know we hunt a lot of those vermin, but how come she always mentions them when talking to me? I’ve asked other maids, but they’ve never heard a peep about goblins from her.
~•••~
“Greetings, my lovely maidens! And Felicitations to you, my beautiful princess Vertue! For I will have you. I have accepted your challenge to marry any man who can conquer you in battle. I may have been bed-ridden for some time... But! I ’ve drilled the knowledge of over 100 rare and exotic skills into my mindhelp menu, and have trained with the most elite of sword instructors in the kingdom to reach a soaring level of 95 in only 2 years! What do you say, it would be a shame to dismiss our glorious bout as we would tell the story of how our loves intersected like the edge of blades, and how the rising sparks of us clashing ignited our passions to unreachable heights. But! I mustn’t, mustn’t wound the face or body of my lovely bride to be. I propose to go easy on you. Please don’t take this as disrespect towards a fine warrior such as you, but with my pride as a man, I wouldn’t allow it! Forgive me! Now, shall...”
“Kheh, the fool is still blabbering?”
“Kheh, indeed— Oops. Erm, Sir Lisium! We are all ready here!”
It’s quite frustrating I have to do this. Though the challenges have been somewhat audited by dad, There’s still a lot. Every noble in the country above baron is eyeing for me. And on top of that, there’s all the all the royalty and high nobility bringing their sons along so that they could have external affairs experiencea go at making me theirs. Worst of all, they’re weak.
What’s more frustrating is this guy, who was supposed to be my fiancemeat shield against those dirt crawlers. But then he had to go and be sick. My betrothal canceled, and me being ripe for the taking at the age of 16, for 3 years they all swarmed like pigs to feces... I’m, not comparing myself to feces, alright? It’s just a saying. Lizx told me I was the most fuckablemarriageable gal in town, according to the men she’s talked to. Ha ha ha. That maid sure has a way with words. Is there any man who would dare use the word fuckable on me? It’s not a word I know, but it must be rude. Maybe, I’ll sic a few High Goblin Bosses on her next time we’re on a quest.
But right now, a former fiancecurrent flea troubling me. I’ll direct some of my frustrations on him. I open my Infinitum Box catalog and try to find a weapon that won’t kill him. Of course, I could even take out a Supreme HP Potion and throw it at him, his head would explode and the potion would regenerate it. I’ve used this a few times on challengers, but those guys would start crying about the Goddess or something after getting back their head. Well, dad said to take care, and the Perio House has been producing good alchemists for many years. Chlo would be sad? too, so that one’s a no.
“—charming pair of King and Queen!! Oh? Ah, there you are my lovely Vertue! Eager to declare our couragelove aren’t we, hohoho~ Right! Then I shall too display might worthy of being called your husbandking. Behold, this fine Klatana, a sword forged in the delicate workmanship of elven fingers, hammered from the toughest Zenmithril excavated from the peak of mount Lushmore. Now my sweet. Are you ready to recievebe charmed by me?”
“... ... Anytime”
I let him finish up his speech, finally notice me standing on the stage of the arena, run over — completely lacking in form — take out a sword that reeks of backwater trash — I mean, it doesn’t even look like it has Gravity Dance + on it — and say a bunch more words while clearly letting the back of his mind show. I let him do all that as I leisurely found the perfect sword to use on him. Unblade of Firephantom. This one’s perfect.
“— Hef?! she, disap—”
And it’s over. Or is it just beginning for him? He falls on his knees... here it comes. I close my hearing with Sense Null, so I can’t hear his agonizing screams probably echoing all the way to the castle. I see Lizx holding her fingers to her ears. Ah, she only had Sense Dull. She should train more. I walk over to her and use hand signals to communicate that we’re leaving. The screaming should be over in 15 seconds or so, but hmm... lowest setting means... a day?
Let me explain. Unblade of Firephantom is made from a rich source of Madness Ether and uses the Soulstrings of an Extort Firephantom. But enough with the jargon, basically it’s a sword that does not cause a single cut. It instead shows phantasms to the one seeming to have been cut by it. Thus, the place to aim is the head, right through the brain. The blade is a translucent red with white specks seeming to flow on it like dust under sunrays, and the hilt, it’s a cheap thing I had made from some leftover Sperg Turtle shell.
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As for its effect, let’s take the lowest setting I hit Lisium with, costing a mere 100 points of Chaos MP. I’ve experienced a higher setting once, but if I tone down the intensity a bit... He will be standing a space of pitch black. He will have his fingers and toes strung on by red Soulstrings. Then he will have the strings pulled one by one cleanly tearing off his finger meat leaving only the bone. The tearing uses the Firephantom’s Phantomfire which cuts but does not burn the wound shut.
Of course, it’s all an illusion, so even in the pitch black space, he can see himself fine, including the blood gushing out of his fingerholes — the blood is clearly more than the 8 pints he is supposed to have in his body, but the bloodfireworks are something like a creative idea I tried to implement the next time I used this move — He will be left in that state for an hour and then instantly healed like nothing happened. Then, the process repeats again for around 24 hours.
If he faints during the hour, he is instantly healed and the process repeats. But all those hours are passed in his brain that has passed through Madness Ether, that will compress this thinking many fold according to the setting of the attack. In this case, it was 24 hours into 15 seconds. He could run and try to shake off the strings, crawl, squirm around all he wanted. But it was all in his mind.
~•••~
“Vert, you know, I keep telling you this, but they’re just normal people you know”
“No, we are all human Lizx, I am not worth any more than a dweller of the slums. But I, us nobility, especially us royalty, have the duty to protect the people. For that, we need strength, right? So, if I’m not normal compared to the commoners, then so be it. I’ve told you all this before too, why do you keep asking me is what I should be saying, no?”
“Haaah...“
Lizx heaves a great sigh and shakes her head side to side. Your happiness will escape you know. But that fleaLisium, was he not aware of my level? After it made an uproar in the castle a month ago, there has been no challenges to me whatsoever until him. Is it because he was sick, no, the Archduke house should’ve been well informed about such matters. He, was sick in the head it seems.
“Listen princess, you are level 395? No, it’s higher now?”
“I hit 405 last week remember?”
“Right, you’ve hit the 400s. Do you know, humans who have reached level 400 can be counted on your fingers. Most of them went mad, and destroyed whole towns until an army had come and stop them. Some others even chose to leave to the lesser Godsplane you know?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“What I’m trying to say is, we are already monsters. I, I’m level 323 right now. I feel it. This isn’t what Human is supposed to be. I can comfort myself with men all I want, but it doesn’t feel real. Sometimes, they just feel like tiny, ti~ny balls connected together in a way that makes them definable as alive but in the end, they’re just ti~ny—Khu!“
I flick an index finger and strike Lizx on the forehead. At the same time, I apply Mind Zen on her. She must’ve forgotten. haha, so clumsy, this maid of mine. No, wait a second. She just said...
“M-M-M-M-Menn?!! Lizx, you c-comfort yours-self with— —?”
“Ow ow... Yeah, what’s the big dea— hoho~”
Lizx was holding her forehead with both hands rubbing away the pain, but she affirmed it nonchalantly! What’s more, she’s making a ghastly mischievous laugh. What, what is this, Lizx turned 17 this year right? I’m close to 19, and I still— — No, that’s not the point! Lizx, how come I, how much have you...!!! Don’t tell me, you’ve even k-k-kiss—
“It’s pretty good you know~”
“Wh-w-w-w-what are you implying t-t-that I haven’t— —!!”
“Oh~ you’re so cute, princess!”
She, she’s poking my cheek with a finger. My furiously red cheeks... No, I’m not angry, no, maybe I am, but more than that. This sense of defeat... I, I can easily beat her, turn her into nothing with a Snap, a Snap! But that’s a coward’s path. I, am I a human? Am I truly a Woman?— —
“So, you know after the tongue comes out, he would~”
“—!!! STOP! S T O P!!”
She came close to my ear and spoke in whispers in a freakishly seductive voice. What. What are you trying to do here. tongue? Where does that come from, it’s a kiss right? So... the tongue goes into t-t-the m-m-mouth!? Such vulgar!— — I have to stop it. No, I didn’t admit defeat. That’s not what happened! I merely have to use Mind Zen and— It’s not, working!? So my true intention to activate it isn’t there? No, I’m not, not interested in such vulgar actions! The tongue comes out, and he— — What is this. What is this. The Skybreak Leviathan was easier than this, and it was level 600! I, caved. I shouted out.
“Anyway, they’re supposed to summon a hero today~”
Lizx backed off and diverted the topic. Such pinpoint timing, is she an angel or— no, she’s the devil. She’s the very incarnation of the Chief God of Hellplane I say, this Lizx Makina. But, hero huh. Beings from another world coming to fight for us. They’re supposed to have the most potential amongst any being on our Earthplane. In other words, they gain Exp crazy fast.
“H-Hmm, what about this hero?”
“C’mon princess, read between the lines a bit. I’m saying you two should hook up (if it’s a guy)”
“Haaa!?”
I tried to ask calmly, but couldn’t. Stupid, useless Mind Zen, do I need to upgrade it? But... her response. Ok, alright. I’ve lost you there. I responded unnaturally. What’s this hoo kup supposed to mean? You mean marriage? Why do I have to marry the hero?
“You’re not serious, are you? From what I’ve heard, the hero comes here as an adult but at level 1. Level 1 you know? He’d be massacred by even a single High Goblin. And you’re trying to get me to marry such a man? Lizx, I know you’re my friend, but there’s a limit to—”
“Hmmm~, are you sure? It’s a great opportunity I think~”
High Goblins are nothing to us, but a commoner would need at least level 25 to even barely consider taking one on. Commoners are usually level 20 upon reaching adulthood but the hero starts at level 1. No, I’ve heard they make up for it with rare Skills, the so-called Cheats and very high, Exp... multipliers...
“Lizx, you’re thinking about—”
“That’s right~, have him join our party. We’ll pump him full of the best enhancement nicknacks me and Chlo have to offer, and, we’ll be training him. Ah! We’re all girls, so there’ll be something like a Harem scenario too. Good, good, harems are a man’s dream after all. Oh, Vert’ll be the heroine so... we’ll let you have first dibs, so don’t worry”
I understand. I understand that Lizx is making fun of me. In the first place, what harem. Albama is monogamic country, you know? One man, one woman. End of conversation. You’re saying you, you girls will also k-kiss him after I do?! Unforgivable! And even the premise is wrong. I..
“I don’t even love him— no, I’ve never even met him you know. I understand the concept of political marriages, but he’s a person from an alien world, not a noble. Also, wh-what do you mean harem!? Don’t you have a man... Men? Wait a—”
“Hahaha, don’t sweat the details, Vert. Just a bit of fun amongst adventurers~ Well, serious talk though. Princess Vertue. You are almost 19. It’s different for us commoners, but noble women have 1 or 2 children by now. Mistress... Your mother is worried you know. No, let me be frank. She wants grandchildren soon. This is not about levels, we can’t anger her too much. You understand that right?”
She pats me on both shoulders and laughs to divert the topic. What a cheeky...
Children. Mother wants me to have children, is it. It’s too early for Jers, and I’m... getting past my prime huh. Children, man and woman, they — — What. Oh, right. So we train the hero. The hero will get strong fast and we can crush the demon army come time for the war. Love, marriage. That can wait. The safety of the people is prime objective... Mother, is scary though.
“Looks like you’re considering it. Look, I want you to get marriedknow men too. You don’t want to become like old lady Floridi right?”
Floridi Perio, Chlo’s aunt. She was, no, she’s still a brilliant alchemist. But she’s over 40 now. She chose her research over taking a husband and still holes up in her laboratory with all those cats. Every time we talk about her, Chlo, Mother, Dad, they all look lifelessly to the distance. If I don’t... Will I be seen like that as well? No, I’m fine with any way people look at me. But am I myself alright with that? It’s a small feeling, but something inside me says, no. I’m not fine.
“I... need to get married huh...”
“I don’t plan on intruding in your private decisions, but I think you’d be happy”
“Thanks, Lizx”
“At your service, princess~”
Lizx. A loyal maid, a trusted party member, a good friend. I sure am blessed. Right, I need to be strong too. It’s been a while since I kicked down the audience room door. Maybe the carpenters made it sturdier this time. Haha, I’ll show them— I’ve decided.
“Lizx, let’s go to the palace!”