Waking up is supposed to be a warm and comforting feeling, like hot cocoa on a cold morning or at worst, struggling out of bed for an early shift at work. Not feeling like a tractor is sitting on my chest while simultaneously scooping out my brain. Peeling open my crusty sleep filled eyes.
I gasp and attempt to hold down yesterday's fiesta of beers and a burger. "Wregh!" Failing miserably, I squeeze my eyes shut against my pounding headache. Aiming my head as best I can I spew what feels like the past weeks worth of beer and synth food all over what I hope is nothing important. By the cold stone pressed against my naked backside and not the comforting feeling of sani-rubber, I guess that I must have ended up at Lizzy's last night and not my kitchen or bathroom floor.
Slowly pushing myself to a sitting position. I crack my eyes and see that I am lying on what seems to be a smooth rock shelf inside of a cave. To the right of me is a web of light flashing and shifting on the ground, coming from a tunnel about 6 meters away. And directly to my left the tunnel is sealed with old-timey bricks with faint traces of something glittering between the stones. with the far side of the cave just a meter away.
Feeling a slight chill on the family jewels, I look down. "AIIIIEEEEEE!" I scream while flailing my arms. Looking up at me was the ugliest looking animal head I have ever seen; its skin dried like a piece of soy meat sitting too long in the sun with flecks of gray and green crisscrossing its skin. It's snout looking like a pig with large tusks jutting from the sides of its mouth. Someone it seems was kind enough to drape me with the ugliest blanket I have ever seen.
Taking deep breaths to offset my oncoming panic attack, I smelled faint traces of dampness, mildew, and green growing things on the air. Thinking back I couldn’t remember the last time I had the spare cash to get into the parks. Or anywhere outside of climate controlled work zones. Stranger and stranger.
Hesitantly I look beneath the pig head hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Naked, great. So someone either drugged me last night or I went on a wicked bender, hopefully, the latter. Otherwise, I got into some weird shit. Or at least I think it was last night.... Thinking it over I couldn't remember the last time I had such a bad hangover. Usually, it takes a good amount of synth beer to get a buzz let alone an actual hangover. leading me more towards the idea of drugs or something else...Definitely got drugged. Never having blacked out in my life on synth beer. I doubt I would begin now. Especially considering I would need a stomach the size of a hundred liter drum to fit all the beer required.
Trying to remember the night before, it all seems kind of fuzzy. Not that it is gone just old. More of a distant memory rather than a dozen hours. All I know for sure is that I left work and wanted a bite to eat on the way to Lizzy's apartment. Stopping at Josh's Place outside the warehouse sector, salivating over the thought of a burger and beer. Focusing as much as I can all I remember is taking that first sip of beer and a bite of meaty flavored goodness then nothing. Damn, I definitely got drugged. Never having blacked out in my life on synth beer. I doubt I would begin now. Especially considering I would need a stomach the size of a hundred liter drum to fit all the beer required.
Slapping my cheeks to get out of my head, I swing my legs over the edge of the shelf avoiding the slimy green vomit as best i can. Thinking happy thoughts I try to hold down the remaining bile trying to climb my throat. With shaking hands, I lower my feet to the floor a meter below. Overestimating my strength I almost take a nose dive, luckily catching myself at the last minute against the far wall. Feeling my strength ebbing at an alarming rate I rest against the wall letting my heart rate slow. After a few minutes of catching my breath, I grab the blanket from where it had fallen and secure it to my waist as best as I can. Feeling the furry stubble along the blanket as I do so.
Strange, this blanket feels like what I expect real leather would feel like. But there hasn't been a living pig outside of government control to my knowledge for about fifty years now. No way someone wasted that much cash on an antique or jail time stealing from the big man. Just to punk my scrawny ass. Considering even small crimes carried a minimum of 20 years of weekend community service and a full neural rewrite for those unsavory tendencies. Turning criminals into upstanding zombies. Most wouldn't risk it, for any amount of cash. And those that would well, they are just plain scary. Be it connections, money, or bat shit crazy.
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Speaking of a scrawny ass. Looking down at my chest and arms they seem unusually thin. I mean I'm not ripped or anything but I do work out on occasion at the office gym. Peering down I still seem to be my near two meter height, but my skin looks like a strong breeze could bruise me. It is somewhat sallow with my veins and muscles showing through like thin paper. Feeling cool air on my head I reach up and touch my scalp. "No, No ,NONONONO!" Someone shaved me! my beautiful hair! I run my hands across my head and face, then check my arms and legs. "What kind of sick bastard does this!" They didn't even leave me my eyebrows! I don't feel a trace of hair on my entire body, not even the stick and berries!
"Damn someone is gonna pay for this shit, gonna take forever to grow back. Not to mention whatever they gave me made me look like a damn monster...Skins all messed up, looks like I'm an ehead or something..." I mutter while checking the rest of my body.
Well, first things first I need to figure out where the hell I am. Thinking back, I tried to remember if any of the parks had cave systems running through them. Drawing a blank I began to stumble my way towards the non-metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel. Pissed and looking for some answers.
Sliding my hand along the wall I walk to the cave entrance. Reaching the opening, I wait for my eyes to adjust to the blinding light leaking its way between vines blocking the entrance. With one hand securing my makeshift skirt I use the other to push and pull the vines from my path. Pushing through to the small clearing just outside.
Peering around I could tell I was in some deep shit. The cave opened halfway up a hill covered in flowery vines. The beautiful almost too vibrant flowers meandering across the creeper-covered hill like an explosion of rainbowy vomit. With the cave opening up at canopy level showing an ocean of trees undulating in the wind and faint mountains in the distance. Having never seen so much green in my life other than in holo-movies or games I could feel cold sweat beginning to drip down my back. Maybe I had gone a little beyond blackout drunk or drugged. No way was I still in my colony, as far as I knew there weren't even this many trees left on earth. Most have died off and been replaced with the giant terraformers working to fix the planet and keep the few remaining wild animals outside the colony biome's alive.
Feeling a sharp pinch on my leg, I come back to reality. Looking down in shock I see the biggest damn bug I have ever seen. With a glance, it looked like one of those Hercules beetles in old earth nature vids every kid grows up watching in school. Except on steroids with a massive bluish tinged shell reaching up to my knees. And a giant jagged horn about a meter long, piercing my left calf just below my makeshift skirt.
Tensing its leg’s, it pushes deeper into my calf breaking me out of my stupor. Screaming I fall onto my back dropping my pig skin and wrenching the horn from my leg in the process along with a good chunk of flesh. Kicking out with my good leg as the beetle lunges at me I catch its horn with my foot lacerating my sole but knocking its tip between some vines on the hillside. “Shit, shit, shit, Shit, SHIT!” I mutter while scrabbling backward towards the cave.
Looking around for something to defend myself with I don't see any more of the giant beetles but I also don't see any large branches or rocks that I could use as a weapon. Everything is covered by the vines. Shit, that thing is totally going to gut my ass and eat me! Starting to hyperventilate, I look at the struggling beetle and realize I'm going to have to kill it before it gets free. No way could hide from it In the cave while bleeding everywhere, it will just follow in after me.
Psyching myself up I crawl towards the beetle on my hands and knees while leaving a trail of blood across the greenery. Working my way to the back side of its shell; while being leery of the claws on the rear legs I grab and flip the beetle onto its back with adrenalin fueled strength. Snapping off the tip of its horn in the process. With shaking legs, I stand up then stomp with my right foot with my full weight into its soft underbelly. Stomping over and over again on its belly, leaving bloody footprints. Gaining a few small gashes from the beetle’s claws while it tries to defend its self. Finally, I feel it start to give. With one last stomp, my foot smashes into its gooey insides. "SQUEEEEEE" The beetle lets out a high pitched shriek and stops its struggling.
Feeling exhausted from the adrenaline leaving my body. I wrench my foot from its corpse and fall to the ground. Worried about a parasite or infection I attempt to clean as much of the ropey gray entrails from the bottom of my bloody foot as I can with the nearby vines. When I suddenly hear a loud. *DING* Followed by a bright blue window popping up in front of my face.
The hell is this....