The bandit mastermind’s question echoed around the huge bunker. Wait a minute alright? Don’t wanna go murdering without a clue of who I’m murdering. Tenner kept his mouth shut, inspecting the trio while the ghost beside him thought of the lines that’d leave his tongue.

[Name(s): Wolfhound

LVL: 21

HP: 960

Class: mastermind]

[Perks: Bone Crushing III, I Run with the Blade VII, ????]

[Insight(s): Being uses wolves’ tactics, considers themself an alpha]

The burly bandit must’ve been the leader of all: his level was by far higher than the other two’s and his outfit--a suit covered in badges, pins and patches of artwork--seemed like a flash of light compared to Killerfinger’s red pants and white dress, and Deathdoor’s grey cargo pants and tank top.

[Name(s): Killerfingers

LVL: 13

HP: 200

Class: mastermind]

[Perks: True Sneakiness III, ????, ????]

[Insight(s): Being is very agile]

The bandit queen jittered and her eyes remained wide while waiting for an answer from Tenner.

Tenner’s new ability that he just discovered, to get a basic insight into any being, would tip the scales of the fight quite a lot.

[Name(s): Deathdoor

LVL: 15

HP: 700

Class: mastermind]

[Perks: Slaughterer III, ????]

[Insight(s): Being enjoys the taste of blood]

Though after inspecting Deathdoor, every idea Tenner had evaporated. The giant black man, half of whose weight consisted of fat and other of pure muscle, evened the team out. They had an attacker, they had someone agile, and a guy who could withstand the entire Castle of Hate collapsing onto him.

So these are the kings of the slums, Tenner thought, And for no lack of a legitimate reason. Certainly, they look like the kids back at home who I’d annihilate and empty the pockets. But those skills… Oh and those levels too. Dash is really gonna put in the work guiding me through this.

He quickly thought over any possibilities.

Negotiation, a bounty hunter against high-level masterminds, wouldn’t work. He didn’t even bother trying to talk himself into believing otherwise. Rallying the bandits against them? Wonderful pipe dream. Sure, Tenner and his charisma of a diamond could, but…

They’d have to be killed for the Castle of Hate to be his. Yet ending one of them was a massive undertaking.

“I do,” Tenner spoke, getting the nod from the ghost.

“Brought Dash along too!” Killerfingers interrupted, grabbing the wired phone in the middle of the table. She tapped the “5” on the keypad. “Ghost problem.”

These masterminds prepared for everything.

“I came to say your castle belongs to me now--”

“How fucking dare you?!” Deathdoor slammed his fists on the table, rocking half the bunker. “You know how hard I worked for this shit?! I don’t care if this is a joke, you better take those words back!”

“Calm down,” Tenner and Wolfhound spoke at once.

Putting his fingers on his temples, Deathdoor sat back down. After a deep breath, he wiped his face and a monotone expression returned to it.

“Continue, Tenner,” Wolfhound said.

“You’ve got no right to this castle. Other gangs built it on the lands of hundreds of people.”

The bandit king laughed. “Really? So you actually came here with a joke…”

“Nah, I’m just helping you understand why you’ll die.”

A smell of sweat crawled up Tenner’s nose. Someone’s foot tapped the floor. He kept his expression serious, even amongst loads of giddiness the ghost’s successful instructions brought.

“I won’t lie -- you’re scaring me,” Wolfhound said. “But I’m afraid for you. Indeed, we may be masterminds by class, but we’re henches by heart. I don’t need to explain what’ll happen to your face if you fight us. I don’t even know who could beat us.”

“Not a single fucking lunarist in this realm,” Deathdoor remarked.

Wolfhound agreed with his fellow bandit’s words and said, “Disrespect offends me, but I would let you go for a simple apology. But bloodshed of my men for no reason? You wanted a fight and--oh--you’ll get it.”

“I don’t know, Wolf!” Killerfingers said. “He’s got that fucking Dash by his side.”

“And I’ve got you.” Wolfhound stood up, jerking his head for the others to follow. His veiny hands grabbed an axe, at least three times larger than Tenner’s, and whose edges were lined by lasers.

Beside him, Deathdoor cracked his knuckles and Killerfingers unveiled laserclaws on both hands.

Fucking clowns. Tenner’s eyes flicked from Dash to the bandits. Though clowns who’ll put up a good fight. I bet they’ll last five minutes.

***

Dash’s hazy hands pointed at the scalpel Tenner had snatched from the doc, and pointed at his sleeve. Then the ghost caused his CHEK to bleep, which was followed by a pair of screens in his view.

Tenner didn’t read the instructions -- he’d somehow developed a system to take them in without unnecessary thoughts. He used all of his focus on completing them.

Tenner’s fingers slipped the scalpel into his sleeve as his other hand grabbed his axe. The grip of the weapon was an island in a storm -- the biggest comfort facing three formidable foes.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Foes who’ll die and turn to martyrs not fuck with me…

The bandit masterminds spread out, taking different positions. Franticness showed in their eyes: they hadn’t ever faced a situation quite like this before. They coordinated well, either from years spent together or mounds of high level perks.

Tenner couldn’t wear them out or attack directly. This was an unwinnable situation. But he knew--deep inside and in the front of his mind--that he’d stand on their corpses. Axe ready, Dash’s hazy hand waving, he charged.

The first was Wolfhound. The strongest of them ran at the same speed as Tenner. On course for head on collision, both raised their weapons for a fateful strike. At the last possible second, Tenner threw his axe over Wolfhound’s head then slid between his legs, and sprung in the air, grabbing the axe and striking it down on Deathdoor.

The tank clenched his fists, surprised at the attack, but ready for its impact.

The blade managed to slice through his right hand, ripping off the middle finger. Deathdoor unleashed a howl. His left soared at Tenner.

Tenner fell, pranced right and grabbed the axe. With every centimeter he pulled, more blood sprinkled out of the tank’s hand. Deathdoor punched again. This time, Tenner fell whilst holding the axe. It freed itself from Deathdoor’s tough skin, but slipped out of Tenner’s grip and fell on the ground, sliding over to Wolfhound’s legs.

Tenner ran to grab the axe. The bandit king was faster than him and reached it first.

Tenner turned around, dashing back towards Deathdoor.

For the tank, the shock of a massive wound wore off -- it had only dealt a few dozen damage. His fists rose again, covered in blood and eager for a classic pummeling.

Tenner’s first punch concentrated all the energy of his run’s energy: the impact stopped him in place and slid Deathdoor a few centimeters back. The smell of rubber filled the air. Tenner’s eyesight focused. The burly man had caught his punch and winked.

Tenner winked back. And started sawing Deathdoor’s fist with the medical saw.

The expression on the tank’s face soured in a flash. He ignored the pain and held Tenner, trying to crush his fist. But the saw dug over a centimeter into his skin. It even drilled the surface of his bones. That sort of pain even a tank couldn’t bear.

Not a breath later, with the saw back under his belt, Tenner unleashed an onslaught of punches. The distance between them became blurred like the air above a fire. Yet Deathdoor blocked every single jab. Growling in frustration, Tenner kicked the tank’s fist, boosting himself towards the others, who’d almost reached him.

When Tenner’s attack let up, hundreds of scalpel stabs became visible on Deathdoor’s hands. His eyes widened. He fell to his knees then dropped his head into those hands. His dark-skinned face became red.

The bleeding damage a single scalpel does is tiny--maybe four or five a minute--but multiply that by a hundred and you’ve got yourself one tough situation, Tenner thought. Worst case scenario, it’ll only cripple him. Hope he dies without having to see his friends go too.

Shame I can’t use this trick again -- scalpel’s blunt already. He dropped the weapon from his sleeve. It clinked on the ground, he kicked it and it wooshed straight to Wolfhound’s face.

As he dodged, Tenner sheepishly grinned and focused on finishing the two masterminds ahead.

Killerfingers remained behind Wolfhound, waiting to shred Tenner with her claws once the bandit king’s axe struck down. Tenner’s weapon remained stranded behind them both. The ideal situation would be running to it whilst ignoring everything around. But the bandit’s speed wouldn’t allow such a thing. Cornered and too slow, Tenner had to fight.

He snipped the air with the final tool he’d taken from the doctor’s office -- the scissors. He didn’t even need the ghost’s help to know what to do now. Even though Wolfhound was the most powerful and dangerous foe, he’d have to die first -- Killerfingers was too fast to be beaten melee.

I gotta seperate Wolfhound and kill him before Killerfingers reaches me. Tenner dashed towards the bandit king. Once more, they ran to one another, weapons swinging in their hands.

Wolfhound was slower now, his eyes glancing over Tenner’s shoulder, scanning his fallen friend, and filling with sorrow. Right before the collision, he refocused and adjusted his axe.

Wolfhound’s blade soared straight at Tenner’s neck. Tenner’s scissors searched for Wolfhound’s fingers. They both didn’t get what they wanted: the scissors cut Wolfhound’s index and middle fingers off, and half of his thumb; in turn, the axe missed and sliced down Tenner’s back, leaving open a half meter long wound.

Yelping, Tenner retracted his hand. He danced around Wolfhound and backed away.

[Warning! Damage: -45 to health]

[Being’s HP is ++]

For a moment, he couldn’t believe such a weak hit could do so much damage. His fingers scrambled into the bag and took out two potions. As he chugged the red one, the other slipped out and splashed beside his feet. Tenner cursed.

[Health Immensely Increased: +100 to Health!]

Energy flooded Tenner. His arms straightened, his vision cleared and the scissors in his grip felt as light as ever.

Fuming, Wolfhound rushed Tenner, countless perk activation commands spilling out of his mouth.

Tenner backed off. He grabbed another potion, just in case he’d need another boost in five seconds. Fours meters away from his, the bandit king jumped. His axe soared at Tenner.

It’s impossible to dodge. Tenner raised the scissors above his head, blocking with his bag.

Wolfhound’s axe slashed right through it, shattered the potions and lodged into Tenner’s palm. At the same time, Tenner cut the bandit king’s artery.

Both fell next to each other, a lake of blood pooling under them. Tenner closed his eyes and got the axe out of his palm, opened them and started drinking the potion.

[Warning! Damage: -35 to health] [2x]

[Being’s HP is + ½ ]

[Health Immensely Increased: +100 to Health!]

His and Killerfingers’ gazes met. Her mouth fell sideways whilst misery drooped from her eyes. Tenner chucked the empty potion to the side and clambered to his feet, turning to the bandit king beside him.

Wolfhound was a mix of red and white. His skin turned paler by the second whilst his clothes dripped with blood. Yet he still clung to life. As the bandit king tried to roll around, he extended his tongue, a lick of Tenner’s bag his only hope.

Tenner kicked it away, leaving a streak of red across half the room then turned to Killerfingers. She approached Tenner, laserclaws giving her face a tint of crimson. In the middle of a step, she stopped and started backing away.

Tenner ran. She strutted away from him, focused on a barely visible door in the metal wall of the bunker. There was no way Tenner could catch up to her. But this place was mined into the realm’s under-mechanism, he remembered, and he’d escaped one of these before.

I bet these bandits don’t know what surprises these pipes have for them.

He floored it towards the closest pipe, slipping on a few puddles of blood as he grabbed his axe. Nevertheless, he made it in time. The first strike unleashed a bunch of steam from a pipe two dozen meters away from him. The second sent a bunch of bats flying out of the left corner of the room. The third caused a total collapse of the system.

Killerfingers had reached the secret exit and lobbed it open. But a plume of black smoke erupted towards her and knocked her on her back. The smoke clearing, Tenner leapt at the bandit queen. She coughed. She got to her feet. And she met an axe to her face.

Her arm jumped out of instinct, slashing Tenner’s weapon in half. The other hand, whose damaged laserclaws flickered, stabbed him in the shoulder.

Tenner hopped back, screaming through shut teeth.

[Warning! Damage: -20 to health]

Black soot and Tenner’s blood stained Killerfingers’ sleek body and sharp face. Vengeance burning in her eyes, she stood and wiped away the dirt from her face. For a moment, they both caught breaths. Then she leapt.

A holographic map shone from the chip under Tenner’s belt. It blinded the bandit queen like the robots had done to Tenner under Realm 349 -- his fist confidently soared through the light. Its knuckles cracked. Killerfinger’s nose shattered and she fell to the side, blood spurting across Tenner’s face.

This is the best gift ever, Chisel, Tenner thought, turning the map off. He knelt beside Killerfingers. She squirmed, both hands holding her bloody nose.

Tenner’s eyes scanned for a weapon. Anything would do the trick. His hand landed on the handle of his axe..

“I give last words now -- got any?” Tenner said, trying to connect the handle with the head of his axe. It was destroyed beyond repair. You served me well. He threw the head away.

“Take care of my castle...”

Tenner nodded and smashed Killerfinger’s skull in with the butt of the handle. Fragments of skull and red gore splattered across the floor. All the creditcoins in the corners started glowing once. They lightened the haze--created by the smoke and steam of the burst pipes--into pink.

Tenner threw the handle away and stumbled to the middle of the room.

“What are you looking at? We’re done here!”

The ghost turned to him, shaking their blurry head.

[No we’re not. She opened the door -- the ghost hunters are coming. Ghost. Hunters. You’ll undoubtedly have to fight them without my assistance…]

Tenner turned to Killerfingers’ corpse. From the doorway, footfalls sounded. He turned back and limped over to his potion-soaked bag.

I gotta lick it!