21:03. Monday, November 20th, 2023 St. Patrick’s Cemetery, Midport.
Poltergeist considered herself the strongest psychic in Midport, and perhaps even one of the strongest psychics in the state. Her power, the eponymous
She had employed Anchor Theory, Perception Training, and even experimented with Rampage Development (that was certainly a mess that was hard to clean up).
Now, she had mastered getting her talent to follow her will. She may not be able to use it for tasks that require fine motor skills, but she could at least be sure she could pick something up without crushing it.
Now, she was the badass leader of the Graveyard Bash. A villain organization she started when she was just 16 years old. One that served her unquestioningly.
Now, the Graveyard Bash claimed the entirety of Midport as its territory besides that lameass private school Sherman University. It may not have been total control, but her decrees set the rules for the Costume game here in this fucking city.
But now it was the third Monday of the month, and that meant it was time for their monthly meeting.
Fuck, when did this shit become so routine?
When they first formed, the Graveyard Bash didn’t have a set meeting time. They just fucking met at the local cemetery whenever Poltergeist had crazy plan she had come up with, which at first was every fucking night. That was back before Poltergeist had learned the difference between cemetery and graveyard. When she picked the name she didn’t realize that a church needed to be connected to be called a graveyard. Still it stuck and it was at least a bit more catchy.
Her life back then was unsustainable though and, eventually, as people wanted to get involved with other stuff, there wasn’t time in the schedule for raiding convenience stores, teepeeing houses, and all their usual hijinks.
Eventually they switched to weekly meetings, now it was monthly. Most of the original group left, some for college, some because they got busy with work, some moved. But the most painful one to Poltergeist, some just got bored. It was mostly the ghouls who left. The non-powered underlings. But it included some of her generals too. But even the generals who were left weren’t even training their fucking powers anymore!
This meeting was only her, Frankenstein, Zombie, and two Ghouls (numbers 4 and 6). Mummy is late as fucking always!
Granted she could be late occasionally, which was probably worse since she was supposed to be running the meetings but it didn’t hypocrisy had never stopped her being mad before though.
When her general (and ex boyfriend), Mummy finally showed up. They began the meeting in earnest.
“Alright let’s kick this shit off.” Poltergeist said. “Zombie, what do we want to start with, talking about the haunted house or cape updates? We’ll leave personal shit for the end.” There was never any agenda.
Zombie was Poltergeist’s chief of staff and the only general without a power. Unless you count being the only member of Graveyard Bash with their shit together as a power. She got her role because it was decided that the Ghouls needed a leader and she was the most qualified.
Poltergeist used to hate her know-it-all attitude when they were in highschool, then briefly had a crush on her when Zombie came out as bi, but that was when Poltergeist was still dating Mummy. The whole situation was a disaster.
Now, she was just jealous of Zombie. She had a well paying job working at Midport’s very own Sherman University as some sort of administrator. Still, she found time to help run Graveyard Bash. Poltergeist never got why she stuck around.
“Let’s start with the last Haunted House. We raised 157 dollars of profits which was already sent to Bury Humanely.”
Bury Humanely was a charity that promotes sustainable burial and funeral practices. The haunted house itself came from the fact that years of playing pranks on the local community had led Poltergeist to realize their powers made them really good at scaring people. A few years back they started putting them on as a way of building a better relationship with the community. It was maybe the single thing in her life that brought Poltergeist true joy.
Is that why I am depressed? Because October's already over? Maybe I just have seasonal affective disorder.
“In addition, we had a potential recruit who was interested in enlisting. If we accept them they will become Ghoul 9.”
Recruiting Ghouls was always a difficult undertaking. Who would willingly sign up to be bottom of the food chain? The original crew only had 5 ghouls. All of those fuckers left besides Ghoul 4, who was the most loyal, and Ghoul 0, who was promoted to Zombie. Ghoul 5 joined with Frankenstein because he was his cousin but eventually moved. Ghoul 6 mostly stayed because he got along with Mummy and Ghoul 4. Every Ghoul or Ghoul candidate after 6 usually would join and flake after a while.
Either it was because they weren’t doing enough anymore or they were too intense. They could never win.
“Do we even have any uniforms left?” Asked Frankenstein.
Frankenstein was the youngest in the group. He joined as a freshman when Poltergeist was a senior. He still went part-time at a community college and worked as a bouncer at a nightclub. His powers made that easier since it included vanilla super strength. It also meant he was the only one here whose Talent was registered.
That had been a fight, but it was agreed that as long as he only registered as someone with extra strength, he could play up the other part of his power for the supervillain shit. It helped that his super strength didn’t make him all that much stronger than your average athlete so he got away with having a lower danger level then he probably deserved.
It was the perfect plan. Which he ruined when he registered his talent as
No law enforcement seemed to care to make the connection however.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“Didn’t G2 make the original uniforms with Mummy?” Asked Ghoul 4.
“Yes, but it was mostly Ghoul 2 since Mummy never learned to sew.” Replied Zombie.
“Fuck you, zom-bitch! I can do it. Not gonna front the cost though.” Interjected Mummy.
Mummy actually could sew. Really it was just that Ghoul 2 had a sewing machine which they now no longer had access to.
Mummy had the power to control gauze, which didn’t help him make costumes for anybody but himself but he did have a surprisingly good eye for design. Mummy and her met when they were both stage crew for the theater club, he was in the wardrobe department and she was a stage hand.
Mummy originally had dreams of working in fashion, and wanted to own his own clothing line. Instead he works at a clothing store, which one depended on the month since he would usually quit after a while to work somewhere else.
“Fine, but let’s just see if this new person is even worth joining before we shill out for a uniform. Zombie, you handle the interview and we’ll talk about it next month.” Poltergeist said.
“Okay. It will be done.” Zombie said with a mock bow. For all her competence got her, Zombie really did seem to like playing the assistant.
“Alright, before I move on, I want to say some good shit to everyone. I’ll try not to take forever though. Is that cool?” Poltergeist said. Everyone nodded.
“Okay first off, good work manning the doors Frankenstein. Nobody got too rowdy that night, so good work.” Fuck, the word rowdy makes me sound so old. When did I get like this?
“Alright next, Ghoul 4 good performance all around. Your acting was top notch. Next Mummy and Ghoul 6, good job on the decorations and shit. It really looked, like, actually professional. You really got the vision. As always Zombie, thanks for helping with getting people to volunteer and stuff. And also, great location. You and mummy did a good job promoting it too.”
Fuck none of this sounds like how a super villain should sound. 16 year old me would be so disappointed.
“I think we all did a really good job. It was definitely better than the previous years.” Said Ghoul 6.
“Definitely.” Said Frankenstein.
“Okay, that is it for patting ourselves on the fucking back. Territory updates.” Said Poltergeist.
“There is a new group forming in SU. Some kind of political group.” College groups tended to pop up every year or so. It was a complete fucking grabbag on theme, quality, or propensity for violence. It was why trying to hold sway over the college was completely pointless. Just let the rich kids fight each other, that was her policy.
“Like an eco-warrior thing or something else?” Asked Mummy. For some reason that was always the most common. Hell, people said the Graveyard Bash dipped into that model a little bit with their charity fundraising. That was just bullshit though because really all Poltergeist wanted was a charity that fit their theme rather than actually fighting the pollution of the funeral industry. Though she probably cared a lot more than she might pretend to.
“No, according to the latest reports in the administration they are a breakaway from the Worker Activist Alliance-Youth Division. They are a non-costumed organization that draws on various left-wing philosophies. Apparently there was some sort of failed takeover which led to five people leaving to start their own group.” Only five?
“If they broke off from a non-costumed group why would we think this group would want to participate in the costume life?” Asked Frankenstein.
“Franky we have gone over this a few different times now. Everyone is playing the game whether they like it or not.” Answered Mummy, unhelpfully.
“Even though there is occasional bleed through of capes and cowls into regular life, that really is not sufficient evidence for your belief that the costume game permeates every level of our society. If that was the case, I would have to update the group on every club and organization on campus. I doubt the chess club really merits that level of concern.” Zombie argued.
“Whatever Zom-bimbo.” Mummy grumbled. This early into a meeting and he has already used both of his insults. Gonna be a long night, isn’t it?
“To answer your question Frankenstein, the reason this off shoot merits our concern is because of the unconventional nature of the split. Their breakaway’s leader is a neo-pasadist.”
The word hung in the air for a second. Then another second. A third.
“I’ll bite, what the hell does that mean?” Asked Ghoul 4. Good ol’ reliable Ghoul 4.
“I am glad you asked. This is a new ideology on the rise since the birth of psychics. Originally a branch of communist thought which incorporates ufology and other new age thought, neo-posadism encompasses all sorts of left wing conspiracy theories.”
“How much of that was from Wikipedia?” Poltergeist asked.
“Read the whole article on the walk over here!” Zombie bragged. Everyone gave her a few chuckles, Mummy just rolled his eyes.
“Okay, well thanks for the update. We’ll be sure to keep an eye out for anyone abducting the local cows.” Poltergeist said. “Any other updates?”
“Of course, Commander Poltergeist. We have been challenged by the quote unquote ‘hero’, the Midport Messenger.”
“Obsessenger is back for another round of eating pavement, huh?”
“Another round implies someone other than Poltergeist has ever beaten him. Unless you have news you would like to share?” said Zombie.
“Throwing stones from your glass house must be extra tough when you don’t have psychic powers. Remind me, how many fights have you won in the name of the organization? Besides, what is the point in having an almighty, all-powerful leader if we all don’t get to share in the credit.” Said Mummy.
“That may be the case, but you know we still all need to be pulling our weight. Especially us generals.” Said Frankenstein, flexing a small grin. Though he was only in the top three of their organization, he was the most confident in his regular training.
“I am ending this discussion. Zombie, when is the challenge scheduled for?” Asked Poltergeist. Conversations like this could last a while if you let them.
“10 PM Madam Poltergeist.” Answered Zombie.
“For nearly derailing our conversation, Mummy, you are gonna take on the challenge on our behalf.”
That was her cool evil boss for a villainous organization reason, but the real reason was a lot simpler. On the off chance that she got hurt in the fight, even as low as that chance was, Poltergeist currently didn’t have any health insurance. She had recently gotten kicked off her parent’s plan on her 26th birthday and her job did not offer any. It was high-key stressing her out.
It is so unfair. To be brought so low because of the fucked up US healthcare system.
“Zombie was derailing too, why doesn’t she ever have to fight?”
Because she doesn’t have powers nimrod. Of course though, she has the best insurance of any of us from the university.
“Even the way ya ask seems built to antagonize her. Kinda proving Poltergeist’s point, aren’tcha?” Asked Frankenstein.
“Mummy, in all seriousness, are you up to this task?” Tone-wise she tried to mix in the do not fail me with some you up for this shit? And hopefully got the message across without needing to break her persona.
“Oh don’t you start worrying about me. I’ll do it. And I’ll kick errand boy’s ass.” Mummy responded.
Welp, guess he is good. Hopefully Messenger can afford medical bills.
"Then good, because we have such sights to show him!" Poltergeist declared.