“I really wanted to believe that in the hearts of us all that we were good. But I can’t any longer. All I’ve seen. All I’ve done. All of it haunts me to my very core, but I’m still here. And I’ll remain here for as long as it takes. Even if this rotting carcass of a once great empire burns around me I will not abandon it. I will not abandon my people. I will not bow.“

- Ser Jeanne Pierre, Second Svar Revolution

Hugo woke up around noon that day, sore and stiff from his poor sleeping angle. But he was warm, so very warm, and that was unusual. The makeshift hospital he’d been placed in for the past two weeks was anything but warm. And when Hugo cracked his eye open and the lights didn’t seem so bright it was shocking. And then he noticed something very important. Something very very important.

Caesar was wrapped around Hugo, almost cradling him in her wiry arms. And this discovery nearly made Hugo yelp in shock. But he was able to catch himself. But that did not stop the growing concern for his safety if- no when she woke up. So Hugo took the only logical course of action, in his mind at least, and began to squirm around. Desperately trying, and summarily failing, to escape.

It was to no avail though, she had a vice like grip around the little Trooper. But it was nice Hugo supposed. Caesar was warm, and her heartbeat was steady. So he focused on that, her heartbeat, and found himself slowly getting more and more drowsy. Hugo could feel himself drifting off in the haze of a long and dreamless slumber. And he did not resist the urge either.

Hugo awoke some two hours later when something jostled him, causing him to groan and crack a blurry eye open. “Wha- Wha’s goin’ on? M’tryina sleep ‘ere.” He said, not quite cognizant of where he was and who he was with. But his sleep muddled comments were met by giggling. And not the sharp and cruel giggling of Silvia either. But warm and hearty giggles.

Something ruffled Hugo’s hair, which caused more slurred questions. Hugo was not a morning person and anyone who said so was a liar, a particularly shitty liar. But he was able to come to his senses relatively quickly, it only took a few blinks and a mental kick in the ass and he was up and staring up at what was supposed to be the ceiling.

Instead he was greeted with a shark-like grin and two candy colored eyes. “Well hello there.” Caesar said in an all to sweet voice, and Hugo tried to scramble away to no avail. His efforts were in vain and he couldn’t escape the pummeling to come. And after a solid minute of struggling Hugo resigned to his fate.

Caesar leaned down, getting especially close to Hugo. “Thanks for bein’ a good pillow n’all that… Hugo…” She whispered in his ear, causing the little Trooper to restart his efforts of escape. And this time he was allowed to leave, and scramble out of the room. He said something about getting coffee.

Hugo burst into the hallway in nothing but shorts and a hospital nightgown, which elicited a number of looks and a few passing comments. Hugo chose to ignore these on his way to the coffee machine. “Dust damn these cookie cutter fucking hallways.” He muttered while stomping on. The hallways really were disorienting, and it didn’t help that his eye was turned on. That was scheduled for tomorrow. And after that they only had five days until departure.

But after a solid ten minutes of walking in circles an orderly got annoyed enough to point him in the right direction. Hugo damn near ran there, only to bump into what he assumed was a brick wall. But a glimpse of silver hair told him it was his CO.

“Mornin’ Trooper.” John said with a crooked grin, looking like he’d just crawled out of bed. It was a sharp contrast to the hardass NCO who was perpetually clean, unnaturally clean even. But Hugo still greeted him all the same. “Good morning sir.” He didn’t squeak this time, which was a small improvement from the normal.

“Looks like you had one hell of a night, which would explain why you’re saying good morning at three in the afternoon.” John said with that same crooked smile, but it was more predatory now. Like he had found something particularly interesting to toy around with.

“Fuck.” Hugo mumbled, which caused John to cup his hair and lean down. “What was that Trooper?” John said with that grin growing ever wider. Hugo looked up, and azure eyes met royal purple. And Hugo said two golden words, “Fuck. You. Sir.” Hugo growled out, and savored the look of shock on John’s face. It was quite nice.

John recovered a few seconds later. “Very well… Carry on Trooper.” And the weathered CO retreated a few seconds after that, mumbling something about shitty coffee. And Hugo was left to his own devices. So he pressed a few buttons and shoved a few cups into place. Just a moment later hot coffee was pouring into the cups with an appropriate amount of cream and sugar for each.

In the weeks he’d spent at the hospital Hugo had learned just how Caesar loved her coffee. He’d learned the same for John and Mint, despite those two hardly coming around to chat. There was a ding, and the coffee was ready. That ding might as well have signaled an execution for the boy.

Slowly he walked back to his room. He still got lost, but only for a few minutes before the same orderly pointed him in the right direction. And soon he was there. Hugo took one deep breath and opened the door. “I’m back…. Got coffee.” He greeted, to which Caesar looked up from her book. She’d been casually lounging on his bed.

Caesar looked up and smiled broadly, she still looked like a shark, and it was no less intimidating. “Glad you could make it,” She continued to smile and Hugo gulped. “Why ‘ya just standin’ around?” She teased, or at least Hugo thought she was teasing, it was hard to tell. Caesar sighed and stopped smiling. “Just c’mon and Siddown.”

And so Hugo did, he set the coffee down on his bedside table then sat awkwardly on the bed. Caesar sighed and mumbled something before taking her coffee. She stopped paying attention after a while and Hugo relaxed. Tension that he didn’t know was there was released and his palms stopped sweating. So the little Trooper took his coffee in hand and blew on the top.

Hugo took his turn to sigh and took a sip of his coffee, and it expectantly tasted worse than dirt. He must’ve made a face because Caesar said something and laughed. He took another sip of the scalding hot dirt water and Caesar laughed some more. He was definitely making a face, wasn’t he? So Hugo decided to tune back in to whatever she was saying.

“High lords above man, why are you so afraid of everything?” Caesar finally snapped, killing any semblance of a good mood. And to which Hugo hung his head in shame. He was afraid wasn’t he? He was a coward who cried behind boxes and had to get dragged around everywhere, why was he even still alive? All these thoughts were swirling around in a maelstrom inside Hugo’s head. And then he heard it.

“I don’t fuckin’ get it… You can hold your ground against Awakened and even be the last to retreat…. But why-” Caesar’s voice cracked, “But why am I the scary thing?” She sniffled and Hugo could feel a pit form inside his stomach. “High lords above- I-I’m not bad?! Am I? I’m just as fucking degenerate and dirty as the rest of you all?” She was crying now, and Hugo was stuck in place.

“Murderers, thieves, traitors… I’m just like the rest of you! But why- Why am I not one of you? By the old gods you’re the only one to treat me like a person and you’re scared stiff! Why…” Caesar sputtered out with a cracking voice, now obviously crying. And Hugo could see why, sort of. Mentally he was kicking himself for not paying much attention to anything.

Hugo Marce had no words, so he acted. More on some sort of subconscious desire than anything else. But he still acted; nonetheless, he reached out and grabbed Caesar’s hand. It was massive and calloused, worn with years of work and the scars from plenty of battles. Her hand completely eclipsed his, but Hugo didn’t care much.

Suddenly Hugo had the words. The right words. He had the correct words swirling inside of his head with a force he could barely handle. They were burning into his consciousness. And he said them. And he said the four most important words anyone had ever said to Caesar up to that point.

“I am not afraid.”

And those words resounded in the drab hospital room. They were the only words Hugo could muster up. So he said them with the same conviction that he had on the battlefield. But he wasn’t shouting orders. He was reassuring a friend, if you could really call her that, that he was not afraid for once in his life. For once he had the courage. It felt good.

Hugo felt a bit better when Caesar stopped weakly crying, but the pit in his stomach was still there. So he acted and spoke more. It was slow and awkward, but he stumbled up from his chair and onto the bed beside her. Hugo cupped her cheek with a small hand and spoke once more. Words ringing true.

“I will not be afraid anymore. I promise. So please don’t cry… I won’t be afraid if you’re here.”

Caesar stopped for a moment. A complete and full stop. Which made Hugo’s head begin to swirl around. Had he said too much? Not enough? Were those the wrong words? And for three whole seconds he was stuck with those thoughts as Caesar did nothing. And then she did something- she giggled. She giggled and broke into a smile, eyes still red from crying.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“Y-you’re really trying to be all cool,” More giggling caused Hugo to deflate slightly. “But… Thank you. Thank you for not being afraid Hugo.” Those words made Hugo light up. A beaming smile across his cracked lips. He could taste copper, but that's okay. This made it okay. “But you should only do these types of things with people who you really like.”

Hugo didn’t say anything back to that. He couldn’t really think of a proper response. Did he like Caesar? Yes. She was his friend and had his back in that hellacious battle. But how far did it go? Hugo didn't know the answer to that question and it was bothering him heavily. He should know this. He really should know this.

“I- uh… I’m- Dust damn this… You’re welcome, I- I’m not very brave… You know that much. But I’m willing to try… if it’s you…” Hugo mumbled. Trying to act like he wasn’t blushing and that he didn’t have an urgent question weighing on the back of his mind. But such thoughts caused an important question to bubble up from the depths of the little trooper’s mind.

Hugo looked to Caesar for a moment with a pensive look, eliciting a “Hey. What’s up?” To which Hugo only looked more pensive, if that was even possible. But after a moment the words slowly formed. Coming out in a low whisper that slowly raised in volume to a shaky, but standard tone.

“Caesar.. What do you do- What do you do when you like someone but… but you don’t know if you’re ready to like-like them? I’m having a bit of a conundrum right now.” The words came out before his brain could really parse what was going on. A running theme with him at this point in time.

Against all expectations Hugo had, Caesar didn’t tease him. Or make any comments. Or anything, really. She simply sat there, utterly silent. And she remained that way for a few seconds, which caused Hugo to lean in. Bringing the two mere inches apart. And that action caused Caesar’s entire face to go beet red. And then it hit Hugo, he was a little too obvious with that one. Oh well, honesty in these types of things was good… Right?

“Caesar… You uhhh.. You’re a little red.” ‘No shit Hugo. She looks like a dust damned tomato!’ Silvia crooned. But Hugo didn’t even know what a tomato was, so that quip was both ineffective and confusing. But; nevertheless, Hugo continued to speak. “Are you okay?” He was playing dumb on purpose, mainly because he didn’t think he could hold it together if he was one hundred percent honest.

And after a moment, Caesar answered. “Well. If you really like someone, like if you like-like them… You should probably tell them. Honesty is good- At-at least I think as much.” Caesar took a gulp of air and her cherry red blush faded, somewhat. It had left her neck and ears, but she still looked like a ‘tomato’, whatever that was.

It was Hugo’s time to blush as his face turned a dark shade of crimson and his mouth went dry. He sputtered for just a moment as the words failed to properly form. Leaving the little Trooper quiet. Quiet in a room with another quiet person. Quiet squared. It was a very teenage thing, which fit the two like a glove.

“Well… I uh… Well- You see…” ‘Oh just spit it out already. This is getting painful. Even for me, and I don’t even have pain receptors..’ Silvia’s prodding had sparked something within Hugo, which caused him to break their little trance and do something insanely rash. Something so rash that it’d probably get him killed under most normal circumstances.

Hugo kissed her, and it wasn’t the most pleasant of affairs. It was sloppy and their teeth clattered together. And after fifteen seconds of contact Hugo finally pulled back, expecting some sort of retaliation, which would never come. That probably shocked poor Hugo more than anything he had done. And almost more than what Caesar would do.

She grabbed Hugo by the face and yanked him in for another kiss, all hot and passionate. Hugo could feel his head spinning and could hear his heart pounding in his ears for the next few seconds before they parted. And when they finally did part both of them were so flustered that words didn’t even come out.

“There…” Caesar wheezed out, back to being fully flush. “That a good enough answer for you?” And somehow, she managed another shark-like smile. To which Hugo nodded along dumbly. Head spinning and heart throbbing. “Now scooch over. You’re all nice and warm and this fuckin’ place is fucking frigid.” She said before unceremoniously crawling over Hugo and snuggling in right beside him.

Hugo finally spoke. “I uh… I have a robot in my head who’s making fun of me.” While an odd thing to say, it was true. Silvia had been laughing her ass off for the duration of this awkward affair. “But. I- uh… Could you stay with me? It’s hard to sleep even without Silvia’s intervention… I’m stuck on that dust damned wall every time I close my eyes.”

Hugo found himself leaning into Caesar, even if it was a bit cramped in the hospital double bed. She was warm, and like said space heater said early, it was ‘fucking frigid’ inside of the hospital. And this time when he closed his eyes, Hugo wasn’t brought back to The Wall… He probably wouldn’t be able to keep himself together if he ever found himself up there again.

“Yeah. I’ll- I’ll stay with you… It’s a little quiet in my room anyways, and I’m pretty sure they’re trying to kick me out.” Caesar giggled and pushed some hair from Hugo’s face. Finally revealing his new eye. And to her credit, she didn’t outwardly flinch. Inwardly… That was a different story. And Hugo could see as much.

The ghost frown that started to form on her cracked and bleeding lips, how Caesar tensed up for just the faintest of seconds, and of course how she wrapped an arm around him. Making sure to pull him in close. All of it gave Hugo a good feeling, a rather depressing but good feeling. Like someone cared.

“How does it look?” He posed. And Caesar pulled him in even closer, squishing both of them together into an awkward mass of limbs and blushing. But after a second and a half, she answered. “Looks good. They gave it a pretty color too, which helps the whole aesthetic out. It don’t matter anyways- I liked you before the fancy eye and I’ll like you after it.”

Hugo’s prosthetic eye was a marvel of science. It looked almost like a normal eye… Almost. The veins were gold instead of light red, and the iris glowed slightly. Casting a ghostly blue glow around Hugo’s eye socket. It was otherworldly to look at, if you bothered to get close. And Caesar was real close. Not that Hugo minded. Again, he welcomed the contact.

“Yeah… I- I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel about it. Like- I’m glad I still have an eye. And I’m glad I did all the stuff that made me lose it. You’d probably be dead without all of that… And- And- And- Yeah. Just yeah. But it hurts. It hurts so bad, so dust damned bad. I can’t even move my head without it burning.”

Caesar nodded, and her frown had finally taken form. But it wasn’t a harsh thing, just sad. So very sad. Hugo picked up on that and attempted to recover. “But- but. We’re both still here, right?” He chuckled and turned to Caesar slightly. “We’re both alive, John is alive, and Mint is too. And that’s what matters in the end, for me at least…”

“Yeah… You’re right. Sorry for being all mopey. Guess I’m just kinda off from all the meds they’re dosing me up with. They don’t normally give that kinda stuff to us Troopers. So I think the Brigadier General had a hand in it.”

Images of Eliza Evermore flashed in Hugo’s mind. And how overwhelmingly powerful she was. He could just feel it in his bones. It was like coming face to face with the smoking barrel of a lightning cannon, or some other insanely powerful squad weapon. She made him feel absolutely powerless, even when “praising” them all. It just left a bad taste in his mouth.

And the realizations about Mint didn’t help any of that either. They really just raised more questions than they answered. They obviously were married at one point. The tension was there. But the way he just stood there, like a statue. It was unnerving. Like when someone had to go face the High Lords, just like he did while on trial. Their very presence took the wind out of you and made it hard to walk.

“Hugo… Hugo… Stop zoning out on me y’hear? Now ain’t the time for any of that negative bullshit. It’s just me and you right now. And that’s what matters. So forget about anything else… Just for a little bit.” And she kissed him on the forehead. A sweet gesture, which caused Hugo to snuggle further against her. Laying his head on her shoulder and looking up to Caesar with two, massive, azur, eyes. One glowing, the other not.

“High Lords above. That’s a secret weapon or some shit.” Caesar blushed even further and tried to look away. Which caused Hugo to chuckle to himself and lean up, then kiss her on the cheek. “Eyes on me, okay? Like you said. It’s just us.” He teased with a coy smile.

“Oh shaddup will you? I’ll smother you or something.” Caesar bashfully replied, much to the chagrin of Hugo. This was nice. Hugo really wished it would last forever, he really did. It had been a long, long time since he was last held by someone he lo- liked. Yeah. That word was a little strong wasn’t it? But like all good things, it wasn’t set to last.

Hugo had no idea about what was about to happen. Yet there was a deep, pinching feeling inside of his gut. Just screaming at him that something was bound to go wrong. It was the same feeling he’d gotten on the Dragonfly before his first battle, and the same feeling he got the last time he saw his mother.

That sinking feeling caused Hugo to dawn a rather sour expression. Much to the confusion of Caesar. Who promptly pinched the little Trooper’s cheek and spoke to him in a soft voice, “Hey now… My eyes are on you. So kill whatever the hell you’re thinking about. Right now is more important than any of that bullshit. Y’hear?” And Hugo went to respond-

But the much dreaded screech of the hospital’s intercom interrupted their little moment. It was like an argur really. A harbinger of time to come. A scary fucking thing for any Trooper. Hearing that intercom ring out was a fucking terrifying thing. And Hugo didn’t use that word very lightly, he didn’t like to swear in general. But who could blame him as his throat went dry and the seconds ticked on. Then-

“Sergeant Hugo Marce. Sergeant Hugo Marce, please report to the command center ASAP. Drop what you are doing and immediately report. Command out.” And that was it. He was dead wasn’t he? They had found out. And this supposed realization was like a spell of doom. And Caesar simply ended the silence with a few simple words.

“You heard ‘em. Go on and report. I’ll be okay, but you sure as shit won’t be if you don’t hurry your ass up.” Caesar gave him a quick but chaste kiss on the lips and shoved him out of the tiny bed they had been in.

“Y-yeah.” Hugo swallowed and booked it out of the room. Damn cookie cutter hallways always confusing him as he ran. But an orderly had snagged him a moment later and shoved him into the right direction. High lords be with that absolute saint of a man. But Hugo didn’t have the time to stop and thank the man, he was busy running.

Hugo continued to run out of the hospital complex and onto the mustering field. His bare feet getting cut up on the numerous small stones in the muddy ground. But he didn’t care. He had his orders, and he was going to follow them no matter what. He was a dust damn Trooper! And Troopers didn’t whine or bitch about a little mud and blood. They sucked it up and continued forwards.

That’s what he told himself at least. It was easy to lie to yourself like that really. Hugo knew he was lying to himself on some deep, primal level. It just felt wrong to think like that. Like he was being blindly led along by a hair. Like he was a High Lords Damned sock puppet. Strung along like a fucking fool.

But those thoughts could take a back burner as he ran the three kilometers to the command complex in the middle of a lightning storm. The hospital was really well sound proofed it seemed. But that didn’t matter as lightning tore across the sky and slammed down onto the earth all around the little Trooper. But he kept on running like a mad dog.

After a good fifteen minutes of running Hugo arrived at the command complex’s entrance. He was soaked down to the bone in his thin hospital gown and without pants or shoes. But he was there. And the Scions at the entrance looked a little shocked.

“The Lieutenant General will see you now son… We thank you for your haste. But-” Hugo just looked up to the Scion with his massive, innocent eyes, utterly unknowing of the peculiarity of his situation. “Nevermind. You may proceed.” The Scion rumbled and stepped to the side, letting Hugo into the war room once again.

And in the center of the room the Lieutenant General stood there imperiously. Her face betrayed no emotion, as she gazed down on Hugo. It was like staring at a statue of steel and gold. Mesmerizing, but incredibly terrifying. And that fear only amplified when she spoke ten words, ten bone chilling words.

“Silvia. It is good to see you again, old friend.”