(Ethan’s POV)

A few weeks after I fell into this strange facade of loneliness, I finally got the guts to look this 'Alpha' up. But, without any helpers, because I was doing this in secret, it took me awhile…Because I simply didn't know his name. I was sure that I might have seen him years and years ago, but I cannot, for the life of me, remember him.

It took me a whole week to finally see his face upon the papers and computer in front of me, considering this wasn't the only thing I was doing, and I finally found out that he became Alpha about a year ago.

So, before when I had met him, he had only been a fledgling uh...

It sucks…Finding myself unable to not stare at his picture for a minute before I snap out of my longing for him…

…Now, he was well respected, and I see that his pack was the 'Rogue Hunter Pack', obviously the pack that would track down rogues for us.

Now that I remembered, his father was here those years ago, because of rogues, and I had to make up my mind on what to do with them because some of them had been mates and some of them had not that killing instinct like many of the other rogues had. It had been a big investigation that I had to look into with each one of them, deciding their fate like a King...

The Rogue Hunter Pack had moved after that to the south, further away from us here in the north, because there where possible rogues down there that led to water and another big human city.

Since this ‘Damien’ has become the Alpha, he has caught 22 rogues, some in which died upon capture and some he questioned.

Rogues weren't really a big problem normally, that one case with his father was the first one in my reign and anything else was small...

Being an Omega and unwanted, I know where rogues start from and try to put myself in their shoes, if I get the chance. Sometimes they are too feral and too far gone to even think like us anymore and are complete wolves. But we can save some of them and hope that they can come back to be Shifters again and be accepted into a pack.

Seeing the number 22, in the space of just over a year, I frowned.

That's a lot of rogues!

Even the big problem with his father had only been about 100 or so!

I was really wanting to call upon him and ask him...Yet, I already felt excited upon seeing his face and wanting to hear his voice again, perhaps if I'm lucky, even a touch of his hand! Oh, I could get him to show me his wolf, I want to see it! Is it big? Is it black like his hair? Would I be able to touch his fur?

Slumping in my chair, I went against my desires, knowing full well that what was going on with the rogues didn't matter...I just wanted an excuse to see him!

Unable to stop myself, and still feeling conflicted and confused on why he rejected me, I wrote a note...Several times...

I made many mistakes and had to start again!

I didn't even know how to start!

'To my dearest mate'

'To my mate'

'To Damien'

'To Alpha Rendall'

Then, I didn't know how to bring up my worries...

'Please don't be worried because you have gotten a letter from the King.'

No!

'I noticed you've killed quite a number of rogues'

Not that either.

'Please read this in privacy'

Yes, but...What else...

It took me another week to finally finish my letter to my mate and it ended up like this:

'Damien, my mate.

I have tried to find the exact reason or reasons that you have rejected me, and I understand why you did it.

A secret, an Omega, I'm King, I already have a family...

You are not at fault and I don’t blame you for the rejection, as I would probably do the same in your shoes.

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But, let me tell you something...

I would never be able to put you to death, for knowing that I'm an Omega...Even if you told the world.

I can never hate you for thinking of me as a lowly Omega, as I feel the same about myself.

I didn't want to be the King and the reason why I have a family, is because I'm the King...If I had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have chosen a mate just to satisfy an old man!

I know that defending myself might not mean a very much to you, but, without even knowing your name, I already wanted you beside me. Holding your hand for an instant, makes me want to do it for a lifetime...Touching your face, I wanted to touch your heart...I miss you. Miss you so much that I wish I didn't have a secret and that I wasn't an Omega...That I wasn't a King, nor did I have a Queen…

I can't regret my boy though. I love my boy.

Forgive me, my dearest mate. Forgive my fate. You will forever be the one that holds my heart, even if you and I aren't together.

Love eternally, Ethan Sollace.'

Folding up the letter and putting my seal upon it, I put it into a draw. I wasn't ready to send it. I didn't know if I ever will send it...But, writing it did make me feel better!

Finally, I went to see my boy again!

I had missed him, but it wasn’t until now that I had the courage to see him once again.

I think…I think that if he had not wanted me…

It doesn’t matter…I was keen and while I felt this way, I was not backing out!

And as soon as I saw him, I felt relief flow through me straight away. I know I was stupid for thinking he wouldn’t want me, especially now as he raises his arms and opens and closes his hands to me…

I was so stupid…

He was still so awesome, so adorable!

I could never regret him, and I know I've been so terribly miserable lately, I was still going to be King and walk this path. I was even eager to teach my boy something!

Ever since he was able to do more now when he shifted into his wolf, Chance would go under me often but always had troubles going over the top of me when I was laying down while a wolf. He wouldn't be able to make it half way, but I found it so funny that my tongue would be hanging out and I'd be snorting.

When Chance gets into a bad mood, from not being able to jump on top of me, I would then shift to human and pick him up and put him on me then, he would lick me, and I'd laugh for him.

We were back to being the best of buddies once again and he was now able to crawl in human form, nearly ready to walk.

The Queen and I went on as before, acting like that night had not happened. She did not look at me differently, which did surprise me, but I did silently thank her for it.

I didn't want her to forever be mad at me for using her like that, but I was really down that night. Having been so alone for days and having no one, she was the only one I could turn too...

***

And so, another three months went by and we were nearly back to normal, except, I would find myself unable to stop thinking of my mate.

When I was 'King' and had business, it was easy, I was used to it…But when I was 'free', he was one of the first thoughts in my head.

Should I send the letter? Should I ask to talk to him on the phone? Should I try to forget him?

I couldn't do any of them...None...

I didn't have to courage to defend myself by sending the letter, I was far from being able to call him! Forgetting him!? No way was that going to happen...I was sure I'd never forget that small time we had spent together. I remember his smell, it was of herbal tea and eucalyptus. I wasn't surprised he smelt that way, nor why I liked it so much. He spent a lot of time in the open, and I didn't. I longed to smell all kinds of different things, like that of a normal toasted sandwich.

I have had a toasted sandwich from time to time, but it was full of the best of everything, making it smell different and I was sure there could be another smell. Just a cheese toasted or ham toasted sandwich, but they never give me something so cheap!

Ah, well...It's funny, because my wish of going out, comes true!

Owen made a decision and I was happy to follow through with his plan.

I didn't particularly like it, but...

His idea to get me to do rounds like a King, to see my fellow Shifters, wasn't rare. In the past, a King would often leave his palace, and since it had been so long since the disaster, and that Chance was growing up, Owen wanted me to go out and make sure that my fellow Shifters were loyal to the Sollace family.

So, in other words, I was potentially going to be a target...

Owen told me that this was a long-term plan for my son, so that Chance would not only be safe, but have loyal followers for when he takes the throne.

For that, I agreed willingly. I didn't want harm to come to my boy at all and we still needed to find out who were our enemies.

And since the palace was deemed to be safe, I was then told to meet all my packs and understand what they are like and how loyal they are for my son.

I had to admit, thinking that the King had so much time before, was probably wrong...

So, instead of having half days off, now I'll be out for weeks at a time.

Once I heard this, I was excited and scared at the same time...Mostly because my mate is in a pack...And I'm going to meet packs!

I was also upset that I wouldn't be able to see my boy, so I spent some extra time with him, to make up for the time I'll be away.

As long as there was nothing extremely important, I will be out as long as possible, making the enemy know for sure that I was no longer at the palace.

I will have several guards with me, but most of the best guards stayed at the palace to protect Chance...His life, was now a lot more valuable than mine.

I wasn't saddened, I wanted the best for my boy...I just hope...I hope he has a better reign then me. That he won't have a secret, that he won't be harmed just because he's a Beta and that he can be with his destined mate. I hope this very much!

And, within another week, I was off. I was first going to ‘The Surveillance Pack', personally going to get information from them. Owen already knows a lot, but for me to personally go there about my own family, it was probably about time to do so!

Seeing that their pack had the most up to date technology that both Shifters and humans had discovered so far, I was quite interested.

Walking straight in, being in a formal business suit, that didn't feel like it matched me at all, I nodded at the few people that had come to welcome me, bowing their heads in their acknowledgement.

Owen walked a few steps behind me and I looked back at him, wondering if they did this for him on the short trips that he takes here.

They held so much loyalty to me, that was why I questioned this...

"Your Majesty, it is good to see you again! I am Alpha of the Surveillance Pack, George Monk, and I welcome you!"

I nodded at him, eyeing him thoughtfully. I had met him at least twice before, but I guessed he was being extra polite because I was coming to his pack for the first time.

I had wanted to come here earlier, but Owen had made me wait in the car longer...Just so that I would be late!

And like every other time he had forced me to come late…It was boring!

So…I was glad to be doing something!

“Thank you, Alpha Monk.”