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Talking chains and walking underwear
Interruptions, both good and bad

Interruptions, both good and bad

I lay there for an hour pondering my thoughts, the only way to tell the time being the quiet ticking of my wristwatch. "I'm sorry for the delay; there was a problem with the prince," said the knock at the door. Before I could respond, the head priest walked in. "Can we proceed?"

"Have you given your question any thought?" She questioned as she sat down on the couch across from me. "Why were we each individually called?" Unintentionally, the question came across as a little more heated. Even providing a shoulder to cry on could have prevented half of the pain and damage.

"You and all the heroes; are a mistake." She said it with such deep shame in her voice. "A mistake!?" How are we mistakes if you made us this way? My thoughts were half mumbled, half roared for the entire castle to hear. "Yes, heroes were made in a hurry, literally a last-minute job meant for one target." The first demon king? "It was my predecessors who used you out of greed and laziness without consequence."

I was already halfway out of my chair when I realized what she had meant. "Heroes are produced from an inversed piece of the demon lord, who was formed by the inverse of the universe, the sins of life," she said in a placating tone.

"As such heroes, or more specifically the ritual that summoned you, got ingrained into the very fabric of magic, to the point where calling it a demi-god would be a disservice." She remarked as she removed a circular pendant adorned with runes from her bag.

“That was 50 years ago, after the death of the emperor, it had gained enough power to dictate its own fate; now a god with no equal it finished the half formed ritual summoning you.” Pointing at me with a pipe that paper out of nowhere.

“The gods understandably want you dead, so do many kingdoms and sect, cults and more,” she stated stretching one hand out to the side. “On the other you have the sponsorship of the most powerful entity that could mop the pantheon with its own blood if wished too and the most powerful empires support if need be.” Pausing to take a deep blunt of the noxious pipe.

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"As a result, wizards, priests, mages, warlocks, and demi-gods came together and reached an agreement over the self-published summoning ritual," she said, releasing a wall of smoke. "Heroes are paradoxes, powered by negative stimulus," she said, emptying her pipes over the cold snacks.

"Hunger, exhaustion, pain, sadness, depression, anything and everything is valid as long as it's either negative or counter to a hero, as such a coalition against a hero would eventually spawn one to both destroy said coalition and everything in a cubed area." The smoke has started to change both color and shape. "Oh, yeah, those eggs were able to crack some of the math that made you tick: (adversary + challenge) ^3." Writing down the formula on a piece of paper.

At this point my mind has stated to pull points together, and I had to ask “So priestess what are your plans for me?” The shifting smoke pausing as if in consideration. “Well for one killing you would only delay the inevitable retaliation, dozens of lich stories we have to thank for that nugget of truth.” Swilling higher in a recliner like shape it responded. “Contract will either bite or break, threats do no good without leverage.” The smoke darkened now pulling into itself debated outload. “Tempting you with treasures is an expensive move.”

*Knock*

*Knock*

A loud knocking at the door. Snapping our gaze back to each other I waved “Thanks for your time, I don’t know who you are but if it’s possible I’ll try and stay out of your way.” A grin now plastering my face, the dark cloud took a moment for my words to sink in before leaving out the window when the door knocked again.

"Sir Hero, may we come in?" The voice is deep and metallic, like an organ. "Yes, I’ve been quite lonely." A half-truth. The metal-covered giant crept through the small doorway, a slight gold glow slipping his visor and armor. Marching in behind him is the head priest, she looks like she had expected to find someone here.

“Ah Hero, sorry for the delay, the prince wanted to meet you before your reorientation.” A slight cracking in her once confident voice. Taking the seat before me she took out a large notebook, covered in a dozen or so of yellowish runes she starts scrolling her finger over wrinkly paper. “Ah here we go! Hero you have a question before we continue?” An urgency for speed in her voice.

“Why douse the prince want to meet me?” Even the cloud used him as an excuse, he must be a pain in the side if name dropping like that works. My mussing was cut short, as the priestess hoked on imaginary air as the door’s hinges were blown off by a gold speckled boy three sizes to small.

“Hero you are under arrest for high treason against the emperors rebuke!!”