Tales Of The Floridiot's
The Quest To Naples
AIDEN:
Hello, there reader, It’s been a while since I posted anything due to life. But I’m back with season two of the stories!
Now, here's the story of how me and my family moved from Washington back to Naples Florida in 2021.
It was a long trip and a lot happened.
This was also my first time in my family's homeland!
Enjoy :)
…
MAX:
OH GOD LOOK AT HOW THOSE TRUCKS ARE DRIVING?
(The nine box trucks quickly moved down the street. Almost swaying.)
AIDEN:
(I look at my overly scared brother as I reach my arm high up to lay my hand on his shoulder.)
It’ll be fine boy.
MAX:
You don’t know how much highly extensive things are in that box truck.
AIDEN:
And I don’t wanna hear about it. Now make up some fake tears for the boys and Kirra.
KIRRA:
I heard that.
AIDEN:
Sh*t.
MAX:
We’ll miss you a little.
AIDEN:
Lies.
MAX:
Aid-
AIDEN:
We’ll miss you a bit too much mainly because we are going to Murph's playpen. Like some stuff actually gets to the news there.
KIRRA:
Yes, you two should make a Youtube channel.
MAX:
NO.
AIDEN:
Noted.
KIRRA:
Why are you guys moving again?
AIDEN:
My Dad got a job at a podcast/history place.
KIRRA:
Oh ok.
CARL:
(Pokes me in the back.)
AIDEN:
Wha-
Oh hi.
CARL:
Have this.
(Hands me his wood carving knife.)
AIDEN:
One day I’ll give it back.
Maybe.
CARL:
By enemy.
AIDEN:
Till the next fight!
BILLY(My Dad):
Time to go, we are already late!
AIDEN AND MAX:
GOT IT!
AIDEN:
Anyways byeeeeeeeeeee!
KIRRA:
Cya idiots.
MIKE:
(Walks up.)
See you boys around.
MAX:
You too.
(Waves.)
MIKE:
And Aiden.
AIDEN:
Yeah?
MIKE:
Tuna.
AIDEN:
Tuna.
MIKE:
(Nods.)
AIDEN AND MAX:
(We get into the car.)
(I slide into the middle seat of the car to realize that Max is on my left side. On the other side is my little sister Alice.)
Quiznak.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
ALICE:
Your Doom is at hand!
(Bites my hand.)
AIDEN:
…
Child I’m immortal…
-_-
ALICE:
(Starts to drink lots of water.)
AIDEN AND MAX:
???
AIDEN:
Otherwise.
DAvve
EVERYONE IN THE CAR:
NOO!!!
CASEY:
Please no.
AIDEN:
HAHAHAHA.
MAX:
Why do I feel without Kirra you are going to have no self-control?
AIDEN:
Because that is the truth!
…
(Seven hours later.)
AIDEN:
I unconsciously feel the car stop.
BILLY:
(Pokes me in the side.)
Boy, wake up.
MAX:
WAKEY WAKEY SHORT BOIII.
AIDEN:
(PULLS MY KATANA OUT OF MY POCKET.)
HEHHHHHHHH??!?!
BILLY:
We are at the Redwoods.
AIDEN:
Oh, wait why??
MAX:
WHY NOT!
AIDEN:
(Walks out of the car.)
(See’s Alice.)
Nope.
Max come on.
MAX:
Where?
AIDEN:
Deep into the forest.
MAX:
Oh death.
Nice.
(As we walk deeper we hear whispers and trees moving.)
AIDEN:
It’s nice to see things taller than you for once.
MAX:
Sure thing, short boi.
(Things get quiet but it almost seems like the trees are thinner the farther we go.)
AIDEN:
(Jumps on an old stump.)
Now who's short little brother?
Also-
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE WATCHING US, YOU FURRY PLEB!!!
MAX:
(Sighs.)
Never a moment of peace…
AIDEN:
(Turns around then punches a ten-foot-tall red-haired bigfoot.)
(I step back a little before pulling out the handle of my katana, holding it for a second before the blade materializes.)
DA BIGFOOT:
(Tilts head in confusion.)
(Stairs at Katana.)
(Growls)
AIDEN:
Max run!
(I start running away from the beast before swinging around and slicing at the beast's jaw.)
(It growls again before picking me up with one hand.)
Noooooope!
(Pulls out the wood carving knife stabbing the beast's hand so it lets me go.)
(As I start to run away it kicks me like a soccer ball.)
(I fly through the air hitting a car as the bigfoot runs at me.)
(Grabs my katana off the ground.)
(I stand up.)
Okay, you're going to regret that.
(Runs and then slides under the red beast then plunges my katana deep through the beast's back.)
(It falls face first. As the life drains from it.)
…
(A few minutes later.)
AIDEN:
(Sits down in the car.)
And I bet that still won’t get on the news or Youtube.
…
(One day later.)
AIDEN AND MAX:
(Spread our hands out in sink and say.)
BEHOLD THE FOUR CORNERS!!
CASEY:
(Takes a picture.)
(Laughs.)
Okay, that was a good one.
MAX:
(Walks to the middle, runs his fingers around the large engraved circle then across the two long lines that make up the X shape that cut the states in four.)
(The Xmen logo-looking shape starts to glow pink.)
CASEY:
What did you do now?
MAX:
I DON’T KNOW???
The sky starts to go dark as the Moon moves over the sun causing an eclipse as the stars become visible in the middle of the day.
Aiden what is happening?
AIDEN:
(Sips my cherry icee.)
I don’t know but it’s cool.
MAX:
AIDENNNNNN!
AIDEN:
(Shrugs.)
(The eyes of people around turn black.)
Well, that can’t be good.
(I pull out my katana.)
MAX:
(Runs to the car to grab his axe.)
AIDEN:
(Starts sliding and dicing as the crazy people attack me.)
(The sky gets darker and darker as more and more of the sun gets covered by the Moon.)
AIDEN AND MAX:
(Max gets back as the sky is fully dark.)
(We both fight off the crazy people making sure not to kill but only injure.)
(This goes on for a while till the eclipse ends.)
(At that point we have to run to the car so we aren’t blamed for all the blade wounds.)
MAX:
That was we-
Actually pretty normal for us.
AIDEN:
That was a waste of a icee.
…
(28 hours later.)
MAX:
We are doomed. We are doomed!
Our car broke down. And somehow we are so lost that we are in Ohio!!
AIDEN:
Ehhhhh there is nothing out here we’ll be fine till the repair truck gets here.
BILLY:
That may not be true, the people of Ohio are close to the strange of Florida's citizens.
And will fight over who’s stranger.
AIDEN:
Well okay then lol.
MAX:
Hey someone is down the road!
Hello?!
THE STRANGE AVERAGE HEIGHT TEEN:
(Walks up to us.)
What’s up my twiz?
BILLY:
And you are?
CHRIS:
Oh, I’m Chris.
AIDEN:
Hello Christopher. I’m Aiden, and the old dude is my Dad Billy. And the tall boy is Max.
CHRIS:
Nice well I see your car is broken down.
Need any help?
BILLY:
No, the repair truck is on it’s way.
CHRIS:
Yikes, you’d be here for hours.
MAX:
How could you help us?
CHRIS:
Pulls out a purple glowing rock.
Put this in the gas tank.
AIDEN:
How many of those rocks do you have?
CHRIS:
Hundreds.
AIDEN:
TVA much?
MAX:
Grabs the rock, drops it down the gas tank, and starts the car up perfectly.
Wow, nice.
AIDEN:
Nice meeting you Chris but we have to get to Naples.
CHRIS:
For a vacation?
MAX:
No, we are moving back.
BILLY:
(Facepalms.)
(Calls the recipe company to cancel the truck.)
CHRIS:
Oh, you're from Florida?
AIDEN:
Yep, we are the Florida famous Floridiots!
CHRIS:
Interesting.
(As we talk to Chris more and more people show up till we are surrounded.)
AIDEN:
Well, it's been interesting meeting you but we are leaving now.
CHRIS:
SORRY TWIZ BUT NO ONE LEAVES OHIO!
AIDEN:
(Pulls out my katana.)
We don’t obey any laws that includes yours.
CHRIS:
We will see, won’t we?
AIDEN:
FLORIDIOTS ASSEMBLE!!
BILLY AND MAX:
We are already here?
AIDEN:
Then attack!
(For the next week The great Ohio Vs Florida war raged.)
…
(Three days after the end of the war)
CASEY:
Welcome home!
AIDEN:
(I exit the car as the sun sets, I can hear crickets. There were fireflies in the air and I could tell that this would truly begin me and Max’s adventures for it was now just us against everything, everyone. It was time for Florida to once again deal with the Shulz!)
Well, Max.
ADVENTURE AWAITS!