Tales Of The Floridiot's

The Battle Of Dunes Summer Camp

AIDEN:

Hello there reader, One week after I first fought Jack The Painter, me and Kirra went to Dunes summer camp! Here’s the battle me, a Cowboy, and Kirra caused!

Here’s that story!

…

AIDEN:

(Falls out of a tree right in front of Kirra)

Hello there!

KIRRA:

How did you even get here?

AIDEN:

I DON’T KNOW!

I was at home then I was in that tree!

KIRRA:

I don’t understand why Murphy lets you do this stuff but I have to sit next to Carl on a drive to a place he wasn’t even going to!?

AIDEN:

(Shrugs.)

(Looks over at some kids talking about helping to keep the peace.)

Chaos?

KIIRA:

CHAOS!

(We slide behind the trees shifting our way till we are close to being behind the lawful children. We climb up on a rock.)

AIDEN:

Listen here law and order isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

If you want true order aka calm and no chaos then you won’t be able to do anything.

NOTHING WOULD EVER CHANGE.

MOB:

(Throws rocks at us!)

AIDEN:

Nope!

(Snape's my fingers and teleports.)

KIRRA:

NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

(Runs to get to the now running me.)

AIDEN:

Looks like we have a rebellion to commit!

KIRRA:

(Almost out of breath.)

OH YEAH CAUSE THAT’S GONNA BE SOOOO EASY?

(We run into a gym and hide.)

AIDEN:

Well, what would you suggest, oh smart one?

(I roll my eyes as I wait for a snarky reply.)

KIRRA:

I think breaking the rules is enough. We don't have to destroy the whole system yet.

AIDEN:

Maybe maybe. I don’t know.

(I look out the gym door.)

I think the children are gone.

KIRRA:

You know they are probably the same age as us?

AIDEN:

Yeah, but I’m better than them and thus I’m more mature.

KIRRA:

I light almost anything on fire yet I’M MORE MATURE THAN YOU!

AIDEN:

Agree to disagree…

…

(We walked around till we got to a ring-making class where Kirra started her week-long obsession with wire rings.)

AIDEN:

We’ve been in this room for an hour and a half!

YOU ALREADY MADE SEVEN RINGS!

KIRRA:

Okay okay! I heard there is a treehouse in the front we can plan our insanity from.

AIDEN:

That’s more like it!

OLD DUDE:

Quite down…

(DEATH STARE.)

AIDEN AND KIRRA:

(Runs out of the beachfront building!)

(We stop after a minute.)

AIDEN:

Looks like they are rounding everyone us for a church thing…

KIRRA:

Just because our family has proven the reality of literal gods! But I don’t feel like a stupid service about some random life lesson.

AIDEN:

(Pulls Kirra to the tree with a house on it.)

BEHOLD… 

Wood and tetanus!

(I let go of her arm that I probably left a mark on with my grip so I could spread out my arms to welcome her to the old treehouse.)

KIRRA:

Wow, so impressive!

(She says sarcastically.)

(We both climb up and talk about life and our plan for the week.)

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AIDEN:

So everyone is saying Jack will become my archenemy?

Well then….

KIRRA:

Operation no sleep?

AIDEN:

Sure.

(Shrugs.)

(Pulls out the card of my camp house.)

KIRRA:

They are probably dumb.

AIDEN:

Maybe, but you never know and the last thing two chaos-bringers need is to get grounded the first day.

KIRRA:

Yep now have fun because I have a plan to do our mission and my plan does not need your help.

(Walks away back to the gym.)

AIDEN:

Interesting…

…

(I walk down an alley and knock on the door of the camp house.)

SOME OLD-IST DUDE:

(Opens the door.)

Hello, are you Aiden Shulz?

AIDEN:

The one and only!

SHAGGY:

Welcome to the overflow house.

I’m Shaggy.

AIDEN:

Hi again!

(Walks past the dude.)

Hello there I’m immortal and insane!

So hi Parker and Wyatt!

ALL OF THE ROOM:

(Mumbles and confusion?)

AIDEN:

I put my stuff in here at the start of the day.

DUDE BEHIND ME:

Howdy.

AIDEN:

(I turn around.)

Hello? You are?

THE COWBOY:

Call me The Cowboy.

My real name is a secret.

SHAGGY:

Dinner is starting, let’s go.

AIDEN:

Do you like to do some trouble-making Cowboy?

THE COWBOY:

You bet I do!

…

AIDEN AND THE COWBOY:

(Hide behind a tree as the Cowboy uses a laser to start a fire in front of people.)

AIDEN:

Where do you get This stuff?

THE COWBOY:

I have a neighbor who is rich and smart. He gives me high-tech stuff like this laser and this.

(He pulls out a wild west-looking six shot with a tip glowing.)

AIDEN:

What is that?

THE COWBOY:

A laser gun!

(He nods his head and smiles.)

AIDEN:

Is his name Elon? Or is he called the Hacksmith?

THE COWBOY:

You got it right the first time Mr Musk is great!

…

(Later at dinner we separate and go different ways. I bump into Kirra for a minute)

AIDEN:

Ello.

KIRRA:

I HAVE MADE OVER ONE HUNDRED RINGS. SOME CAN KILL SOME CAN HEAL THEY ARE MY SOURCE OF POWER!!!!!!!

AIDEN:

YEEET!

 (Runs over to Wyatt and Parker.)

PARKER:

What’s up?

AIDEN:

(Garbs a cup of milk, some M&M’s, gummy bears, taco meat, and rice crispy treats. Then put them all together in the cup.)

PARKER:

What on God's green earth is that????

AIDEN:

The liquors brew!

THE COWBOY:

Poison?

AIDEN:

One day.

JOHNNY TOUCHDOWN:

I do believe that is not acceptable.

THE COWBOY:

Run!

AIDEN:

(We bolt through the lunch room out the door. And we kept running till we were in a crowd.)

So where are we going?

(I ask hoping to get info and break up the confusion of two dudes running into the group.)

PARKER:

To the beach?

THE COWBOY:

Cool.

PARKER:

Hey Aiden, are you related to Kirra? You two look alike.

AIDEN:

Yes, how do you know her?

PARKER:

She broke some rules and was literally doing full-out magic and now is locked in her camp house.

I heard they were going to try to do an exorcism on her or some crap.

The whole camp is talking about how it's like 1948 when almost the same thing happened

AIDEN:

SH*T.

You two with me?

WYATT:

Hey, I’m with you!

AIDEN:

Oh right, you're here.

THE COWBOY:

I’m always up for a rescue mission.

AIDEN:

And by the way, Parker that means you gotta help.

PARKER:

Alright then…?

AIDEN:

Okay well, I bet we have a few minutes.

(I look down the beach as the wind flows making it look like a different world. I look off into the distance so far that all I can see is a fog and past that my eyes couldn’t even see past.)

(I watch as sand castles are made  and after a while, the waves start to creep up closer to the shore.)

…

(About twenty minutes later.)

(As all four of us walk up the shore dunes then we see a dark blue-ish purple beam of light cut through the sky.)

THE COWBOY:

D*mn she be one powerful witch!

AIDEN:

(Looks up in confusion.)

Okay like that must be her trying to break free, but like she has been a witch for what? four, five days and she is just making it up as she goes. YET SOMEHOW SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT!?!

(Another beam of plasma shoots up and cuts the tops of about twenty pine trees.)

(We all stop mid-sprint.)

PARKER:

Sure she needs our help?

AIDEN:

I don’t care if she thinks she doesn’t.

(We run up the large field that is in between the Lunch house and the camp houses.)

(I run up to the people who are trying to tear a demon from her body but would just make it so she would become a ghost.)

You don't know the forces you are messing with!

(As I run I pull out the handle of my katana from my pocket. Swing it as the blade materializes.)

(I knock over the head of one of the dumb wanna-be exorcists with the handle of my katana.)

THE COWBOY:

(Shoots the others with electric plasma shots to incapacitate them.)

PARKER:

(Fist fights the weird camp leader.)

This isn’t how I thought the camp would end!

AIDEN:

Same I thought it would end with some long car ride home after eating too much candy oooor the…

PARKER:

DON’T SAY IT!

AIDEN:

THE LIQUOR'S BREEEEEEEEW!!!!!!

PARKER:

(Punches out another dude.)

Dear god why?

KIRRA:

(Incinerates a lady who was trying to do the exorcism.)

Never try to get answers from Aiden!

(She flannels her hands to get the strange fire-like stuff that was building up after her magic.)

AIDEN:

HAS ANYONE GOT A PHONE?

PARKER:

Yeah!?

THE COWBOY:

Call the police d*mnit!

AIDEN:

WHAT HE SAID!!!!!

(I push off a really angry dude with my katana then knock him out.)

Well, I knew Wyatt wasn’t gonna help too much I don’t even know where he is right now!

(Half shrugs before seeing a car fly at the remaining camp heads)

WYATT:

(Exits the car.)

What were you saying?

AIDEN:

GREAT JOB.

(Puts both thumbs up!)

THE COWBOY:

You got some true spirit boy!

PARKER:

We are all the same age?

KIRRA:

I’m one year younger than Aiden.

THE POLICE:

(Pull up and exit their cars.)

ONE OF THE POLICEMEN:

What did you do now Shulz?

AIDEN:

I have no idea what you are talking about!

(Does a two-finger salute.)

How about you three?

Wanna join my little team for a bit? After all, it's something to do this summer?!

ALL THREE OF THE BOYS:

OH HECK YEAH!

…

And that is how I got one of my favorite teams in the summer of 2020!