“Now,” Dara said, reaching across the table and patting my hand gently, “it’s not as bad as all that. The Nexus of Realities is probably the best kept secret in the world. Your mother once told me that only six or seven people in the entire world - including me and her - knew what the House really was. The rest just think it’s easy access to anywhere in this world. Which is bad enough.”
“You can say that again,” I said quietly. “We’re sitting on the dimensional equivalent of a weapon of mass destruction. Imagine the damage someone could do, the things that could come through -”
“I’d rather not,” Dara interrupted firmly, “and you shouldn’t either. The House caps the Nexus, keeping it from opening any wider than it already is, and preventing anyone - including you - from using it without a massive effort. Such an effort is years beyond your skill and knowledge. So put it out of your mind…you can’t do it by accident the way your many times great-grandmother did. She saw to that!”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then forced myself to take another bite of my sandwich. Somehow, doing something as utterly mundane as chewing was unbelievably calming in the face of such otherworldly knowledge.
Dara smiled, seeming to understand. “It’s a huge, terrifying thing, I know. Your mother wrestled with it for weeks once she learned of it. Your grandmother spent her entire life pretending it wasn’t the truth.”
“How do I handle it?” I asked blankly, still having trouble digesting the idea.
“For now,” Dara said, “it’s enough to know. It’s why the House is so important, after all. Imagine how much damage such a thing could have done if it wasn’t bottled up.”
“I’m not sure I can.”
Dara nodded sympathetically. “To be honest, I’m not sure anyone really can. It’s too large. It’s actually very good that you’ve already reached that conclusion.
“But for the most part,” she continued, “it’s just the secret buried at the heart of the House, which makes the House what it is. Most Guardians go their entire lives never even having to think about its presence.” She leaned forward. “But you needed to know just why protecting this House is so important.”
I nodded. “I think I get it now. The outline of it, at least. My God.” I shook my head. “What was she trying to do? The ancestor who created the Nexus by accident.”
“I never did find out,” Dara said apologetically. “I didn’t get to know her until after it was done, and she was never willing to speak of it. All I know is that whatever she was trying to do was the result of a terrible emotional injury, but again she would never speak of it. I merely sensed the wound within her.”
“And…do I…will I…have that kind of power at my disposal?” I asked uncertainly. I wasn’t sure I wanted - or would be able to handle - that much power!
“In the fullness of time,” Dara said contentedly. “With study and experience. But I believe that you, like all of the Guardians who came after her, will be wiser and more careful about the use of your power.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I think. So…what other secrets does the House hold?”
Dara smiled. “I can’t tell you everything on day one, Caley. You’d have a nervous breakdown.”
“That,” I said with a faint smile, “is not very encouraging.”
She laughed softly. “No, I suppose it isn’t. But I promise you that none of the House’s other secrets - the ones I myself am privy to, at least - are even remotely close to the scale of that first and most important one.”
“That’s a relief,” I said frankly, and it was. It really, really was.
I finished the last few bites of my sandwich in quiet contemplation and followed it up with an apple…I had always found pears and plums too sweet for my tastes. Dara, bless her, let me digest both food and concepts in silence for several minutes, while Sparkle demolished a fourth plum and then flitted off to a nearby pond - an actual, small pond, that appeared to be fed by a natural spring - to clean herself up.
As I rose, Dara rose as well, coming around the table to hug me gently. “Come and visit me any time you need to clear your head, or are looking for some advice. I’m always glad to help.”
I returned her hug. “Thank you so much, Dara. Not just for clearing my head, but also for giving me a better idea of what’s at stake here.”
She smiled and stepped back from me. “The Caretaker is a tremendous fount of knowledge…but he is occasionally a bit short of wisdom. I like to think that he and I balance each other out somewhat.”
“I would say so,” I agreed. “Come on, Sparkle!”
Sparkle flitted up into the air from where she’d been washing and gave herself a mighty shake, shedding water in every direction. Her natural purple glow turned the little shower of water droplets into a cascade of tiny rainbows. Then she darted over to me and settled onto my right shoulder. “Ready!”
I paused at the door to lift my hand in farewell to Dara, and watched with fascination as she melted back into her tree. Then I closed the door behind me and started walking.
“Where are we going now, Caley?” Sparkle asked. “Back to find Ken?”
“No,” I said slowly. “I don’t think I’m quite ready for that conversation. Anyway, I know there’s at least a couple of hours left before it’s time to go, but I want to get ready for my trip into town tonight.”
Sparkle giggled. “I think you’re going to be really good at darts.”
“Do you?” I asked, amused. “I’ve never thrown one before in my life. I don’t really even know the rules to the game.”
She giggled again. “I don’t either. But I have confidence that you’ll be good at anything you really set your mind to.”
Her faith in me was absolute and unshakable. It was a little bit intimidating, really. “You’ve been there before for darts night, haven’t you?”
“Sure! I used to go with Mistress Chessie!”
“Can you give me an idea of what I should wear?” I asked hopefully.
I felt her little feet kick idly against my shoulder. “Not really. I mean, fairy fashion is a lot different than human fashion, and Mistress Chessie liked to dress to attract attention. I don’t think you do.”
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“True enough,” I admitted.
The House, as it seemed wont to do, judged my desire to walk without destination for a little while and simply presented me with hallways and staircases in a seemingly endless maze of floors and doors that couldn’t possibly fit into its exterior. I ignored the physical impossibility of it - or maybe I was getting used to it - and just walked.
I considered my own personality and style. Except when I’d been doing ballet and gymnastics, I’d always been rather subdued in my choice of colors. I liked to wear earth tones and rich primary colors, especially green and blue. I’d always felt that pastels washed me out completely, and only in ballet class had I ever been talked into wearing pink.
Not because I didn’t like it…it’s a lovely color. But with my pale skin and white hair, it just doesn’t suit me.
Stylistically, well…I was admittedly a bit repressed. While many of my female classmates had pranced around campus in cropped tops, tight pants, short skirts, and see-through shirts with just a bra beneath, I’d been wearing chinos, calf-length skirts, shirts, and blouses. If I was feeling particularly safe about being casual, relaxed-fit jeans and a polo shirt or t-shirt.
It wasn’t so much a confidence issue as a desire to not draw any more attention to myself than my unusual appearance already did. It was camouflage, for lack of a better term.
Not that it ever really worked, I admitted to myself. I still got hit on by boys and girls alike with somewhat uncomfortable frequency.
At least I was probably going to find an older - and hopefully somewhat more decorous - crowd at the Oak & Ivy pub this evening. Perhaps with this group, I could just be myself and not worry about how other people saw me.
I thought about what I’d seen Malcolm O’Day wearing behind the bar. Jeans and a shirt under his apron. Pretty casual. Could I get away with something similar?
Jeans and a…I paused for a moment. Assuming they had room for another player, I’d be throwing darts.
Short sleeves, not long.
All right then, I’d find something short-sleeved to wear, and throw a jacket over the whole thing for the walk into town.
I could drive in, I supposed. And why not? We’d see how I felt when it was time to go.
Either way, I desperately needed a night out, and it would give me an opportunity really start putting down roots in the community.
God, that turn of phrase was never not going to be a terrible pun again, now that I’d met Dara.
To my surprise, I found myself standing at the door of my bedroom. The House was definitely getting better at knowing my mind. I wondered just how deep that connection would become as I settled in.
The thought did not disturb me. I found it rather comforting, actually.
I ended up changing into a comfortable, knee-length denim skirt, and a short-sleeved green shirt. In deference to the cool weather, I added a pair of thick dark tights and a pair of flat-heeled, green leather ankle boots (that I’d never seen before, but which fit me perfectly). Over that outfit, I threw on a brown cable-knit sweater. If I got too warm, I could take it off easily enough.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I had to admit that I looked more confident and in command of myself than I had just a week ago. Heck, I’d looked downright exhausted and harried most of the time.
“What do you think, Sparkle?” I asked.
She zipped over in a streak of purple and hovered by my right shoulder, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “You look very presentable,” she said, sounding just a bit uncertain.
I glanced at her and smiled. “No fashion advice for me at all?”
She giggled. “Well, I think frilly dresses in bright colors, especially with short skirts, tight bodices, and gauzy bits are the best. Especially with matching stockings. I love stockings.”
I blinked a few times, then smiled. “That’s typical fairy fashion, is it?”
Sparkle smiled at me. “Except for the stockings. Mistress Chessie got me into those.”
Literally, or figuratively, I wondered? Then decided I probably didn’t want to know.
“I think we’ll work up to fairy fashion, then,” I said with a smile. “Though I have to admit, I wouldn’t mind trying on a dress like yours someday. It’s very pretty.”
“You’d look amazing, Caley.” She said it with such uncomplicated honesty, as she did all things, that I felt my cheeks heat up a bit.
“Thank you, Sparkle. Shall we go?”
“It’s kind of early…”
I nodded. “I feel like walking into town, though. And I think I’d like to do a bit of window shopping on the way there.”
She beamed. “Okay!” And without another word she shot towards the Master Key where it dangled from my choker. I felt the tiny impact as she connected, and when I looked in the mirror she was there, a perfect, tiny silver fairy molded to the key, as if she’d always been there.
Thus reassured that she would be unseen and that I wouldn’t be going out alone, I opened the door and then paused. “Oh, bother. Sparkle, before we go, I need you to do me one favor.”
In an instant, she was hovering in front of my face, back to her natural size and color. “Yes, Caley?”
“Go find Ken, let him know that we’re going out, and we’ll be back later this evening. I don’t want him fretting that we’ve disappeared on him.”
She threw me a crisp salute and shot out the door, leaving a streak of quickly fading purple light in her wake.
“Meet me at the front door!” I called after her and laughed.
She did, zooming up as I was putting a light coat on. “Ken says ‘Be careful and have a good time.’” She reported eagerly. “I think he was working on a new lesson plan for you.”
“Thank goodness.” I opened the front door. “Ready?”
“Ready!”
I paused and looked at her. “You’re not going to hide on my Key?”
She swept in a short circle and giggled. “Nobody will see me outside in broad daylight, even if there was someone around to see me. Before we reach town, I’ll attach to the Key.”
I smiled. “All right. Let’s go, then.”
We left, locking the door behind us. After a few steps, I impulsively stopped and went back, placing my hand flat on the door and summoning up a sense of reassuring affection for the House to feel. “Don’t worry, we’re just going into town. We’ll be back.”
To my surprise, I felt a sense of understanding, calm certainty, and affection that was directed toward me. I guessed that meant the House understood and was okay with our excursion.
Sparkle, watching me, smiled and shot away down the long drive, obviously enjoying being outside. And why not? For late October, it was a beautiful day. The sun shown down on us, blunting the crisp autumn air and offsetting the gentle breeze that blew across us, bringing hints of the coming winter with it.
I hesitated briefly, thinking about what it might be like walking back later, after the sun had set. Then shrugged and started after Sparkle. I’d jogged in colder weather, wearing thinner clothes. I’d be fine.
The walk finished clearing my head, and by the time we were halfway to town I’d started to feel a bit silly about my miniature meltdown that morning. Not because it was anything less than perfectly understandable (I was able to dissect the reasons why it had happened with no effort at all…hindsight, as the saying goes, is 20/20), but because I strongly disliked losing control of myself that way.
All you had to do to know that I appreciated self-control and precise behavior was look at my old extracurricular activities: ballet, gymnastics, and fencing. I didn’t like not being in complete control of myself, especially when it came to my emotions, and the last few days had done their level best (and some) to rattle my composure.
Of course Ken would be concerned about making sure I learned the magical equivalent of self-defense as quickly as possible, and it sounded like he firmly believed in the old saw about ‘a good offense being the best defense.’ It wasn’t untrue, but it wasn’t what I was used to. Since Sparkle and Dara both appeared to agree with him, it was just an adjustment I would need to make.
The deeper mysteries of magic could - and undoubtedly would - come later. Learning how to bend reality to my will wouldn’t do me any good if I was devoured whole by the first monster I came across.
That was a sobering thought.
But, I sighed, one I’d better learn to live with. Life is change. Adapt or die. I’d resolved to see this through and not run screaming back to my old, mundane life…I needed to adjust to the realities of my new world.
Not, I suspected, that I could go back. Now that it was becoming aware of me, as I was becoming aware of it, I had a distinct sense that this new - and potentially more dangerous - world I had entered would find a way to follow me back to the ‘mundane’ world I’d come from. And God help me (and probably anyone near me at the time) if that happened and I didn’t know how to protect myself from it.
I was distracted then by Sparkle, who shot past me in pursuit of what I thought was a wren of some sort. They were moving so fast that all I really saw was a small brown blur being chased by a small purple streak.
“Sparkle,” I called after her, “what are you doing?”
She returned to hover in front of me, flushed with the exertion and giggling. “Just playing, Caley!” She flitted up to me and plopped down on my right shoulder with a little “Whew!”
I laughed. “All right. We’re almost there, so stay with me.”
“Okay!” She hopped off my shoulder again, and in an instant was attached to the Master Key, as if she’d always been there.
I shook my head, smiling, and walked the rest of the way into town.