Two people moved around in the darkness, unable to see each other as they wandered aimlessly in the dark. They didn’t know how much time had passed or that they were being observed by Death.

“So, are you going to talk to them?” Life asked Death.

“I really don’t want to. Plus, we’re in a place where time is relevant. I can take as long as I want.” Death replied.

“Yeah,” Life sat on a mini throne right next to Deaths. She then laughed, “but you’ll just be piling up work to do later.”

Death sighed, “Yeah... you’re right… but I really don’t want to. What if they’re like the previous ones?”

Life hopped off her tiny throne onto Death’s armrest and patted his boney head. “Just do it.”

“Fine,” Death groaned. He waved his hands and summoned both of the souls.

“It’s about time!” Life hoped back down to her throne, which was now in front of Death’s throne.

“Where am I?” Asked one of the souls.

“Who is there?” The other one said.

“Ah shit, they’re both girls,” Death groaned.

“What’s wrong with that?” Life questioned Death, curious as to why he said that.

Death went on a rant, “With humans, you either get decent ones or complete fucktards. Do you know how many times I’ve heard ‘I want to speak to your manager?’ I’m Death. There is no force in existence that governs me.”

“So what does that have to do with girls?” Life wanted to know.

“They’re so annoying! Especially the older they are. No, I will not give you your ideal body. I’m not going to listen to your list of thirty things you want!”

“You know we can hear you.” The first soul said.

Death’s mouth dropped wide open. He forgot they could hear him. Clearing his throat, Death said, “To be honest, I hate you all the same. Annoying little shits, calling me evil.”

“What about—” The first soul was cut off by Death.

“Nope! This is over! We’re starting over!” Death sent the souls away with a wave of his arm. Death had a moment of silence to collect his thoughts before bringing them back.

“Hello,” Death said, “As you can guess, you’re dead.”

The second soul started freaking out and crying, “I’m dead! But I was alive not too long ago.”

“Finally, a normal response,” Death thought to himself.

Stolen story; please report.

“Ok. So now what?” Asked the first soul.

“Well, fear not. We’ve decided to take pity on your miserable existence. All of those days bounded to a chair. Doomed to watch as your existence passed by without you. Never fully in the present and always stuck in the past. On the what if’s. You’ll have a new life.”

“Really?” Asked the second soul, wiping away her tears. “What about everyone else?”

“You’ll forget them if you want that.” Life said.

Both souls stared at the little girl sitting in front of Death. “Who’s the little girl?” Asked the first girl.

“This little girl is the reason you’re all alive,” Life chuckled. “I’m Life. I guess you can say I’m the mother of all or whatever you call it.” Life got up from her throne and walked over to the second soul. “You’ll go first.” Life placed her hand on the second soul’s nose. The soul flashed out of existence. “And you’re second. Boop!”

“Are we done with reincarnations?” Death asked, his head resting on his boney arm. “Can we judge some souls, or literally anything else. I really need to hire another intern.”

“Nope! We’re not understaffed anymore!” Life hopped onto Death’s lap.

“Finally!” Death exclaimed. Death summoned a large blue, glowing mirror. “Now to see what we have for entertainment.” Death waved his hands to scroll through the mirror-like a couch-potato flipping through the channel on the telly. “Silver?” Asked Death.

“Nah, he’s boring.” Life groaned. “OU! What about Joker! He’s funny!”

“No, he’s a dick.” Death changed the channel.

“What about her! She’s been around for centuries! I wonder when she’s going to die?”

“She’s just living in a hut in the woods. They do say there are fates worse than death, but no.” Death got bored before he heard Lanzar’s voice.

“Flip to this channel! It’s going to crack your bones!” The metallic voice said.

“Goddammit.” Death muttered.

“God has nothing to do with me. Ainz! Hahahahahaha!!” Lanzar Laughed. Lanzar then flipped the channel to a cell door being opened by force. A flower-shaped figure then entered the cell.

“Is that the flower creature you made eons ago, Lanzar?” Death questioned.

“Nope! I got nothing to do with that! I just asked Life to make a bipedal plant-based creature that eats children at night. And for it be able to take the form of other creatures as a disguise.” His metallic voice screeched.

“That’s oddly specific,” Death’s red eyes looked down and made eye contact with Life’s green eyes that were looking up at him.

“What?” She said innocently, “Lanzar asked very kindly.”

“Did he give you cookies?” Death asked.

Life replied, “He gave me cookies.”

“Wow… It’s not that hard to bribe you.” Death poked her head.

“You’re missing the good part!” Lanzer pointed at the mirror.

All of them looked in the mirror as the flower at the children. “Wait… Are those the children from earlier?” Death questioned.

Life was quiet and watched. Life then turned towards Lanzar and said, “What the fuck! We just reincarnated them! Do you know how miserable they were!?” Life was pretty upset.

“Hey, I just guided the flower.” Lanzar laughed, “Though it’s pretty funny.”

Life was about to scream when Death stopped her, “Just leave it. Judging by what species they were. They have a bit of time left. Though I’m surprised that they still exist. I thought they went extinct on that planet.” Death waved his hand, changing the images to cat videos.

“They’re so cute!” Life shouted, forgetting about what just happened.

“Bye, Lanzar,” Death said. He moved his hands in a waving motion to summon a tray of cookies, which Life started eating.

“Nah, I’ll stick around. I want to see how this plays out.” Lanzar grabbed a cookie and threw it into its metallic body.

“Shit. I thought Lanzar would leave.” Death thought to himself. He then sighed as they all watched cat videos.