Xiao Fen moved, center of gravity low, limbs tucked in. Her tread left cracks in the stone, and black fire burned on her brow, a crown of eyes that made her awareness of this space absolute.
The crack and hiss of metal lashes displacing air around her was louder than thunder. One tore her sleeve, another kissed her cheek, drawing a weeping slash in her skin, another nearly caught her ankle.
But she yanked her foot up, hopped over, the back of her hands bloodied as they batted away two more ribbons of immortal steel. Terrifying. In her short life, the black viper had never experienced such gut churning terror. Her heart in her throat, her eyes prickling with something close to tears.
Her arm trembled, almost spasmed as she lashed out, a sharp knife hand strike, meant to drive her fingers between the enemies ribs and dig into their vitals, injecting toxic qi directly into their meridians.
Her breath caught in her throat, and her hand jerked, shooting past her opponents side and into the open air.
“That is your point, Xiao Fen. I suppose I have been neglecting my physical arts,” Bai Meizhen said, lowering her hand. The metal lashes skirled and hissed, dragging across the sparring room floor.
Xiao Fen’s breath hitched and her shoulders hunched. “N-no, my clumsiness- I- Your form is much superior, my Mistress.”
“Ah, I did not understand how hard this might be for you,” Bai Meizhen said. Xiao Fen could feel her frown, and felt even more miserable. “Nonetheless. I am proud of how far you have come with your clan arts, to be able to touch me in a spar.”
“Mistress, I did not-”
She stiffened as she felt her lady lay a hand on her head. Fingers cool and soft in her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her Mistress, Lady Meizhen, was truly beyond compare. Every Black Viper must think such of their White Serpent, but she was certain that among her generation, only her estimation was correct.
“It was I who asked you to go against your training in this. You have no fault. But I am pleased to have a companion who can show me where my guard is lax.”
“...Lady Bai very slightly favors her right, and the pattern woven by your fangs leaves a very small gap when switching between the third and seventh movements,” Xiao Fen said quietly. Criticizing her Lady made her stomach churn, but it was what she had been commanded to do. She wouldn’t shamefully fail her command twice in a row.
The hand on her head did not leave, nor tighten its grip, digging nails into her scalp and injecting venom as some of her youth instructors had done to show the folly of opening one's guard to affection.
“I see, I will have to remedy that. Thank you, Xiao Fen.”
Warmth in her chest helped to wash away the nausea in her stomach. Her Mistress was uncommon among her kin. Xiao Fen had begun to understand this. But it failed to dispel the deeper discomfort in Xiao Fen’s heart. She had considered many expectations in what her White Serpent would ask of her as a young girl.
She could not comprehend her Mistress’ intent even now. It was her failing, and it shamed her, to not be able to follow her thinking.
Bai Meizhen’s hand slid out of her hair, and Xiao Fen straightened up. They were in the sparring chamber of her Lady’s domicile, a compact space not fit for greater battles but well enough for martial displays.
“I have pushed your limits a great deal, haven’t I Xiao Fen?” Bai Meizhen said, she flicked her wrist and metal slid across metal as the lashes of the ribbon blade curled themselves back up and vanished from her grasp. “How is your friend, Liu Xin?”
She straightened herself, shaking out her sleeve, the small tear was repairing itself, and she flared her qi, cold fire burning away the blood of small cuts, cauterizing them. They would be healed within an hour. Mistress had been holding back a great deal. “He is well. I have ensured his physical cultivation does not lag while he focuses on his alchemy.”
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“I see,” Bai Meizhen said.
“And I am perturbed by his infatuation with this Wang Chao. It will only hurt him. Their ranks are too far apart, and I have some reason to believe Wang Chao is already engaged in indiscretions with another disciple.”
“Ah.”
“Which I have informed him of, but he has discounted my efforts to gather intelligence on this. It is frustrating.”
She only realized how much she had rambled as the final words left her lips. She felt her cheeks grow hot with shame. An apology began to form on her lips.
“Do not, I am pleased with your answer.”
Which should have filled her with relief, but instead only made her furrow her brow. She did not understand. But then, did she need too? She was only a vessel for her Mistress’ command. She observed her Mistress as she took up a warm cloth and delicately patted her brow.
“Mistress, I do not understand.”
Bai Meizhen turned to face her. Xiao Fen felt as if she would shrink to nothing and disappear. The admission burned.
“What do you not understand, Xiao Fen?”
“Anything,” she admitted, lowering her head. “From the moment I came into your service, I have not understood your intentions.”
Bai Meizhen was silent, and Xiao Fen waited for her reprimand. She had more than earned it. But she could not continue to serve with so little comprehension. It only led to errors and her acting in ways which harmed Bai Meizhen’s interests.
“I see. I would like to know what your best guesses are then, Xiao Fen.”
Xiao Fen pursed her lips. It was frustrating, so frustrating. Why could her Lady not simply tell her what she was meant to think? And that pernicious little thought, that criticism hurt too.
“I assume it is part of Lady Suzhen’s program,” she said slowly. “That you want me to better understand outsiders. Hence your command to ‘make a friend’. I was not suited to a diplomatic role. But then it seems you intend to keep me by your side, as a bodyguard? If it is about not bringing you shame at public events I could merely be your shadow, but…”
“You’re not wrong, Xiao Fen,” Bai Meizhen said. She took a seat on the stone bench set against the wall and gestured for Xiao Fen to follow her. “My Aunt… After being here for nearly two years, I truly believe she is right. But I wonder sometimes if she does not go far enough.”
Xiao fen tucked her hands into her sleeves, taking a seat beside her Mistress. She listened carefully. There was a relief in finally unburdening herself of her failure to comprehend her Mistress’ desires.
“The Bai clan is broken,” Bai Meizhen said, and Xiao Fen stiffened. “Did you know I have been studying our history under the Ambassador? My Aunt has begun to provide me with my Mother’s journals and manuals as well.”
Xiao Fen silently shook her head.
“We have, through the ages, made ourselves mighty. We have grown beyond reproach or challenge. But I think somewhere, we deviated from the proper path. In making ourselves impossible to challenge, in seeking that goal beyond all others…. We have excised our own ability to recognize errors. We have not rotted so much as… grown brittle.”
“...And I admit, the pure eyes you look at me with Xiao Fen. I find them frightening.”
“Mistress-”
“I am a woman prone to errors, to temper and ill thought out passions. Do my indiscretions with Bao Qingling bother you?”
Xiao Fen bit down on her reflexive no. She understood implicitly that her Mistress would not be satisfied with that. She feared for her Mistress’ safety, sometimes stewed on what she would do if the gangly foreigner harmed her Lady’s heart, but… no. It was just one of her Mistress’ secrets, one more thing for her to keep and protect.
Some Xiao were moved by lust. Those caught in congress with each other during their education were harshly punished and underwent severe revisionary training, but she knew that there were those in her creche who had some fantasies of being with their Master in such a manner, this was allowed. She had not lied to Liu Xin back when he had asked her intentions. She had never felt such impulses. She would gladly comply if her Mistress commanded it, but she did not feel any jealousy.
“It does not. I only worry for the danger it brings you.”
“I see… that is relieving,” Bai Meizhen said, looking down at her own hands, folded in her lap. “Xiao Fen, you asked for my intention. I do not believe the Xiao clan’s methods are good. Your training leaves you incomplete. I will admit, at the beginning when you came to me I did not have a clear plan. I only knew that I needed more than obedience. Ling Qi-she, well she ruined me in some ways.”
Pride in her clan warred for a moment with deference to her Mistress. Of course the latter won out, even if it left her feeling unpleasant. Dislike flared in her heart. If there was anyone who she envied it was that obnoxious girl, who was so close to Bai Meizhen, who laughed with her and traded teasing barbs as if they were…
Friends.
“I am afraid I will continue to be a hard Mistress to serve, Xiao Fen. Perhaps I have been too long among those who do not show me reflexive deference, and listened too long to Cai Renxiang speak. I am going to have many enemies. I will need you to walk beside me, not behind.”
Xiao Fen felt a lump in her throat, but she nodded. “I understand.”
For the first time, she felt like she actually might.