“Foolish mortals,” the fiend began in tones that yearned to lull the senses into softness. “There is no need to further wave your bits of metal and feeble spells around the atrium of my humble palace.”

From his concealed point behind a pillar so great it could hide a horse, Reed felt the tip of his crossbow begin to bow in embarrassment. He looked up at the soaring ceiling, where eldritch glass caught the glow of burning souls in beautiful hues and Reed felt barbaric. He looked at the lovely, deadly plants and the people sitting at tables in nice clothes just trying to have a nice meal and he felt like scum.

Reed hung his head preparing to surrender in embarrassment.

::Remember that guy I told you about who was in charge of torturing the sinful lovers?:: Came a voice inside Reed’s head. The voice of the great fiend before had been like a tsunami of velvet, a cosmic horror of incredible comfort. The familiar voice in his head was similar to the first in the way that pools and oceans both have parts that are called deep.

Reed nearly gasped upon hearing the voice as he felt the effect of the earlier voice lift slightly. The Great F

::The one turned one of the lovers inside out and then turned the other inside out over them?:: Asked Reed, silently.

::Via their assholes, yes.::

The gravity well of the Great Fiend’s voice pulled less harshly while they spoke. As soon as he was no longer distracted by the voice in his head, Reed found himself being once again soothed by the voice. He looked at those with whom he had broken bread for weeks and saw them relaxing the hands that held weapons.

::You said they were fully conscious during the whole experience.:: Refocusing on that bond brought the ability to move again and Reed began to slowly work his way... where? Away! He began sliding back along the immaculately clean floor.

::They still are, as far as I know.::

::That’s terrible! Are you saying this is the monster that did that?:: Reed found a small opening in the wall he was concealing himself against and began worming his way into it like a rat into a lifeboat.

::This is the one that taught the monster that did that.::

::Are you sure?:: The opening was tight, not nearly as deep as he had hoped but he could disguise the entrance with his cloak. Outside, the soothing doom spoke on of the futility or resistance and irresistible appeals for peace on behalf of the adventurers.

::Of course, Agmeroth, or ‘Aggy the Inverter’ as he would come to be known, was so excited about their accomplishment they hosted a dinner and invited Urathenemon over to seek their approval.::

::How do you know so much about the affair?::

::Who do you think they hired to tempt the lovers into sin?:: Reed began wondering where Baphomet was during all this. He cast his awareness into his familiar’s form. When he opened his eyes, he was looking at one of the well set tables that ringed the atrium. A fine work of confection (“probably dusted with heartbreak and armpit rash,” thought Reed) was being lifted to his mouth. A spider crawled across the pastry and Reed paused the hoof that was ferrying the cursed cookie.

In the reflection of polished tourine of the tortured blood of innocents, Reed saw a baby goat raise an eyebrow in inquiry. The two other fiends at the table paused their own dining and stared.

Embarrassed, Reed returned his attention to the cramped confines of his hiding spot.

::Which sin was that?:: He asked.

::In their belief,:: Baphomet continued, ::there is a forbidden dance, done in secret on special nights. I told the lovers that participating with an open heart in the dance would give them the capacity to feel what the other felt.::

::And that’s what condemned them to this hell?::

::Sort of, they also participated in a small orgy that included the niece of their religious leader. When their leader found out, they cursed the lovers and got them sent to hell.::

::Wow, they can do that?::

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::No, but because they participated in the dance, it was ruled we could keep them because they had participated in the technically forbidden dance.::

::Wow, I’m glad I don’t have any religion or gods.::

::Everyone’s got gods.::

Reed was prepared to retort but decided it would be a good time to start gathering information on a plan to get them all out of here.

::Imagine if we had put any effort into a plan to get into here.:: Baphomet sighed, sensing the intention as Reed once again popped into his head and began looking around.

::There was a plan, Lilly left it written on the note.:: Down below, fiends were stripping his companions of their weapons and wrapping their wrists in the thirsting twine that drank power and hope from those it bound.

::But imagine if we followed it.:: Bapho’s voice was rhapsodic. Not for the first time this hour, Reed questioned his own wisdom in bringing Baphomet along on a deadly attempt to free their friend from her father’s imprisonment in hell.

::We mostly followed her plan.:: Reed felt himself get angry at himself for getting sucked into the argument.

::But then you had to get clever and try to use magic to skip a step.::

::And now you’re going to use magic to get us out of it.::

::The only magic I’m participating in is the magic of how lovely this tea tastes.::

::You are going to slip in among the guards and make one of them invisible so they can slip away.::

::I’m not going to do that.::

::You have to! It’s in the contract.::

::I’m allowed to ignore insane commands.::

::You aren’t and this isn’t. Go down there.::

::And die? If I die here, this is the end of it for me.::

Reed thought about that. It hadn’t been easy finding a familiar, even one as nearly useless as this one was.

::Do you have any other options?::

::Yeah, we spend the rest of your life down here. We can pretend that you’re my burden to torture for eternity.::

::Pretend?::

::We can stop pretending that we aren’t pretending that you have any power over me and that it’s my holy duty to torture you until the end of time.::

::I don’t want to be tortured by you anymore than I already am.::

::Don’t worry, I have a cousin who lives outside the city. We’ll keep you in the barn and use your illusions to fake the torture if anyone stops by.::

::That’s not really the way I want to spend the rest of my life.::

::It’s not like you have long to live anyway.::

::That’s not the point, even if it’s wrong.::

::You have what, a couple hundred years left at best? They’ll fly by and you’ll be just as dead and then you can go to where you deserve; the barn of my cousin where I will start torturing you in earnest for all your sinful ways, you naughty, naughty boy.::

Reed blushed among the many feelings of frustration he was experiencing. He grabbed control of Bapho and began marching him down to the procession his friends were being bustled along in.

::Hey!:: Bapho cried, ::Stop it! I was going to do it on my own but in a less stupid way!::

Reed ignored him and tried to slip stealthily among the forest of weaving legs that lay between Bapho’s form and their goal. Reed had long suspected that the form Bapho insisted on, that of a baby calico goat, was not as necessary as Bapho claimed. It was definitely not great for sneaking.

::You’re going to get us killed!:: Bapho said as they bounced around a table and towards the rearmost guards.

Reed grit his teeth, feeling their bond being strained by the distant between them. If they didn’t get there soon, Reed would lose his grip and be forced to rely on Baphomet “interpreting” his directions in whatever way he pleased.

Tiny hooves danced among large boots. Reed cursed inwardly, trying to identify his friends from this lower angle, through the eyes of a goat which saw things strangely.

::Which one is Szarra?:: Asked Reed, feeling sweat begin to soak his hands and back in the hole his body was hiding in.

::Three rows ahead, just get the druid.::

::Which one is that?::

::The only one with the short, bushy tail!::

Reed caught a flash of the tail. Thrazz, their Gnoll Druid, was one guard away.

“Hey!” A guard called out.

Hands reached to grab the baby goat.

::Pull me out! Pull me out!:: Cried Bapho.

Reed danced him between hands and legs. He was nearly there.

::If they catch me, they can hold me and I’ll be stuck and I will sell you out faster than a duke defunding an orphanage.::

Reed lept the goat just out of grasping hands. He felt a stab of pain as hooves landed on the spiked thigh of another guard as he bounced off onto the back of the one who had bent down to grab him. From their he bounded in the air towards Thrazz.

Just as he touched, he felt hands grip the small neck of the baby calico goat. He threw the spell down through the form and saw Thrazz fade from sight before the goat was whipped around.

Reed was about to try and recall Bapho, praying it would work when they all felt the stage slip out beneath them.