Chapter IV: Farewell

Racing off into the night, Rieta could not help but notice a lightness in her step. Her coin purse, now safely tucked into a hidden compartment in her new clothes, gave her tail the freedom to uncoil and flow behind her freely as she ran. She felt braver, stronger. As if she could take on the world and laugh at its futile attempts to tame her. For that brief moment, she was the wind.

She was Selene Bryseis.

But, upon remembering what came next, her pace slowed. There were still matters requiring her attention. Selene Bryseis could wait another day. Rieta Andolin still had one thing left to do.

The sun had set beyond the horizon, leaving only the hues of orange and red as night quickly overtook the sky. She moved with purpose, away from the market, towards the slums, where the world had already fallen into the blackness of night. Her eyes were well suited to the dark, and she had no trouble moving without light through darkened alleys and city streets.

She passed by the hovel she and Arveene once called home, past the burnt district she once knew with her mother and father, until she reached her destination: a tall, almost tower-like structure standing above all else in the district. Without stopping, she leapt onto the wall, quickly scaling the side with an ease and practiced grace. Reaching the top, she crawled onto the roof, rolling over to her usual spot as the stars began dotting the night sky. Chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath, Rieta felt relief. She was home, and not a moment too soon.

The relief was short lived, already dissipating as her pounding chest and heavy breathing subsided. The joy and thrill she felt before, now gone from her thoughts. She was not here to stargaze, the twinkling lights and waning moon rising in the night sky held little interest to her anymore. And she was far too old to find any value in things beyond her reach. It did hold some comfort for her, however. Perched atop this decrepit tower, the night sky seemed to engulf her vision. Leaving her alone with the cosmos. Here, she felt as if she could say what needed to be said.

And on this, her last night, she had a lot to say.

She gave herself a moment. A moment more to catch her breath, to find the words she needed to say. Finally she shifted her weight, moving into a seated position. Her tail flickered about nervously. Rieta leaned forward, looking out towards the horizon as she crossed her legs. Taking a deep breath, she looked to the night sky, and tried calling out.

"M…mo…"

How long had it been since she last spoke their names? They seemed caught at the back of her throat, unwilling to be uttered. Feelings of loss and pain welled up in her chest, long buried by need, exhaustion, and struggle, now bubbling to the surface for the first time in years.

Her hand, subconsciously, reached for the pendant around her neck.

Their final gift...before they… She clenched her teeth.

Pain coursed through her chest as old wounds bled anew from the strain, but she forced herself to continue as her eyes began to water.

"M…mom."

Her vision began to blur as a tear rolled down her cheek. The first was the hardest. The second came easier, only suffering a brief hesitation.

"D-dad."

Calling for her parents for the first time in years, possibly since their passing, was too much. She fell into a fit of sobs, curling herself into a ball as if ashamed to still feel their loss so strongly.

She was only a child when they died in the fires, but the ache never seemed to fade. She still remembered them vividly. Her mother, a beauty despite her Malenai heritage, voice warm and radiant. Her father, tall and slim, but his stature belied a voice that was deep, strong, melodic. Memories flashed through her mind. She remembered falling asleep in her mom's arms as she hummed a sweet tune after a nightmare.

She remembered sitting on her mother's lap as her father retold stories in animated fashion, leaping from his seat to act out the scene and using different voices for the characters, occasionally the whole family was brought into the act, giving out roles and telling them what to say. Those nights round the fireplace in their meager home were her favorite memories. Memories whose warmth she kept close on the darkest nights since their passing.

I was only nine when I lost you. It's been eight years...but...I...

Gripping her mother's pendant so tightly her fist began to hurt, she regained control of herself. The sobs subsided, but the tears continued to blur her vision. She wiped her eyes with her free hand until she could once again see the stars.

The next name was so much harder. Time had yet to take the pain, the loss still fresh as the day it happened.

"A...Arveene."

She bit her lip to stop herself from falling into another fit of sobs.

Another orphan on the street, but older and far more experienced. Arveene was everything to Rieta after her parents passed. She would be dead a thousand times over if not for her. True, it was rough at the start. She often grew frustrated at Rieta's slow progress, especially when it meant they both went hungry. But on nights when the pain grew too much to bear, Arveene would hold her close, stroke her hair gently. Softly she whispered that everything would be okay.

On better nights they would sit up until late in the evening, sharing tales from travellers passing through or old stories from Rieta's father, giggling late into the night until sleep took them.

Two years, I can't believe it's been two years since…

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Rieta stopped herself. She still could not bring herself to say it. The night itself was a blur, but the result, Arveene's limp body in the alley…surrounded by so much blood.

She allowed herself a moment to cry again.

The hardest part, in a way, was already over. While she had come up here countless times, retelling stories, sharing new ones to the blackened sky, she never admitted she did it in the hopes that they might hear her, somehow. That in some way, she might find a brief connection with them once again from beyond. She knew some did this with a loved one's gravesite, but they were all buried in shallow, unmarked plots beyond the city limits.

No devilblood or parasite warrants much sympathy, I guess.

Besides, this was close enough for her tastes. Close enough they might hear her, but far enough she could pretend she was just talking to herself on her lonesome perch, if only to maintain her own self-deception and the paltry comfort it brought since their loss. Now, on this last night, there was no sense pretending anymore.

Tears finally stopped rolling down her cheeks and her breathing normalized. As she calmed down, her eyes turned upwards, and she continued.

"I…I don't know if you hear me. I don't know if you're listening or…if it's all been in my head the entire time. But…I need to tell you something." She paused a moment to dry her eyes again, "I'm leaving. I…finally have enough money. I can leave this place, and start my life as an adventurer, just like in all those stories we used to share…"

She choked out another sob as little details, almost forgotten, now returned to her. Father's booming voice when he retold ancient battles or when he danced around the room laughing wholeheartedly. Mother's artful mimicry, her voice shifting from cackling witches to mighty barbarians at the drop of a hat, all the while her eyes brimmed with mirth. Arveene, smiling from ear to ear, as she shared a slice of pie stolen from a stall during a festival Rieta couldn't recall.

With greater effort than before, Rieta managed to shove those memories aside. She still had more to say, and needed to see it through to the end.

"…I just want you to know I haven't forgotten you. And…I'll come back one day, even if I'm not the me you know, and tell you all about it. And Arveene…"

She paused for a moment, catching her breath. She continued, "I just want you to know…I'm not going to forget you either. I…you…you were my best friend, and I'll always think of you as...the sister I never had."

Rieta clenched both fists tightly now, fingernails digging into her palms. This was the part she knew was the hardest, as the words still escaped her, "What happened to you was-"

She swallowed, "I don't-"

Tears rolled anew down dampened cheeks, "I...I can't-"

Choking back another sob, "...I won't let it happen again."

"I finally found…" It was getting easier, slowly, "Well, I mean...I think I know where I need to go...I'll...stop them. I don't know what I can do, but…I'll try."

A pang of guilt ran through her. While there was no lie in what she said, she intentionally left out a few key details.

If they really were listening, she refused to give them reason to worry.

She had no idea what she was going to do once she made it to Syndramire. All she knew was she had to go. The rest would fall into place, one way or another.

Still, the hardest part was over, now she just needed to finish. "I'm leaving tomorrow, but not as Rieta. I'll have to be someone else. Someone strong and brave enough...to leave you."

She huddled up again, arms and tail wrapped around her legs, sobbing, as she added, "...love you all…I miss you so much..."

A familiar warmth spread over Rieta as she continued sobbing in the night, until everything subsided and she finally fell to sleep.

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Time waits for no one, tomorrow came swiftly, but she was ready. Two years in the making, and it was finally here.

She was at the docks by the time the sun had fully risen, drained from the night's events, but she refused to let any of that fear, sorrow, or pain show today, of all days. With bags in tow, wearing the clothes and hat so meticulously crafted for this journey. Her tail flickered nervously under her cloak.

She approached the ship, The Admare, with confidence. It was a fine vessel, by her estimation. At the very least, she hoped it would be retold in years to come as:

"A mighty vessel, stretching end to end across the horizon. Piloted by captain and crew, veterans of their craft, braver than all save Selene Bryseis herself, who dared enter the maw of Syndramire."

Or something like that. No need to note that it was smaller than most vessels and the crew were about as loud, obnoxious, or putrid as any other. The captain, Renik, was large, likely due to being half-orc, though the only indicators were his greenish skin and toothy underbite. He turned as he heard her approach, "Ah, you must be that girl Drey mentioned the other day. Still looking fer passage to Syndramire?"

She nodded, puffing her chest slightly before loudly proclaiming, "Yes I am. You may call me Selene Bryseis, or just Selene."

He scratched his head, "Whatever you want, so long as you can pay."

"Of course, good captain. I, Selene Bryseis, always pay my debts." With a flourish, a coin purse flew from her hand and hit the captain in the stomach, before falling to the floor.

Captain Renik, visibly annoyed, quickly snatched the purse from the ground before anyone noticed and counted out the amount. "Yer about half short, horngirl."

Horngirl? Really? Selene suppressed her annoyance at the chosen nickname before explaining, "No, that's the first half of the payment, you will receive the rest once we dock at Lendrig's Hollow. Fair?"

The captain shrugged, "Fine." He placed the payment into his coat pocket, "Don't expect much comfort this trip, horngirl. It's a long voyage and we ain't got the time to deal with luxuries. You get fed twice a day on this ship. And it's first come, first serve. Cots are for those who work, so if you expect an easy ride, sleep on the floor."

He turned away, heading back over to the sailors packing supplies and items onboard, while adding, "We leave in under an hour, with or without you."

Selene suppressed a minor grimace, but this was to be expected. She was used to slumming it and could handle whatever came of this. She did, however, hope moods would improve after they set sail, or this would be a long, long ride. She stepped toward the gangplank leading to the ship, then stopped upon reaching it.

This was it.

This was the first step of thousands on her journey. Not as Rieta. Not a thief, a parasite, or a devil. From henceforth, she would be Selene Bryseis, in all ways, at all times.

Rieta turned, towards the sky, towards her home. Perhaps for the last time.

Goodbye, mom. Goodbye, dad. Goodbye, Arveene.

She then turned, climbed the gangplank, and Selene landed on deck with a dull thud as her boots met the wood.

Goodbye, Rieta Andolin.