Waving to the group of adventurers leaving the store, their hands filled with several silver coins as they waved goodbye, Mira turned the plaque hanging by the window to the ‘close’ position as she locked the front door. Turning back to the counter, she shook her head as she glared at the three large boxes off… junk. Junk might be too harsh of a term for the items in the boxes. They were dungeon relics, but not the type that granted you power or prestige. They were mostly random objects one finds sitting in a dust-filled room gathering well… dust. “Why do we even buy this stuff?” Mira asked, lifting the first box, this one mostly filled with bits of broken pottery, and placing it towards the back wall.
“How else will beginner adventures make money?”
“So, we’re taking a loss on buying this?”
“No, not necessarily,” Luke said, picking up two pieces of pottery. “Look at this one, it’s still mostly intact, and most of its missing pieces are still here. Taking it to a mage and getting it restored can make this very marketable to the right buyers.”
“Like who?”
“Nobles, kings, those types of people,” Luke said, gently placing the pieces back in the box.
“Why would they want old pottery?”
“Decoration,” Luke said, giving Mira a shrug. “I’m not the type of person that worries about aesthetics, I’m more on the practical side, but there are nobles out there that like to collect this type of stuff to adorn their giant mansion and long hallways. Just like hanging a rare weapon on the wall, they like to buy these items as accent pieces.”
“I don’t fully get it,” Mira said, tilting her head, “but if you say it’s worth money, then I will be extra careful with it.” After placing the last box to the back shelf, Mira and Luke both walked to the back of the room, where Luke grabbed two wooden bowls from the cupboard.
“None for me,” Mira said, looking at the pot of stew. “I’m feeling drained. I’m going straight to bed.”
“Alright, but if you get hungry during the night, feel free to grab yourself a bowl.”
“Okay,” Mira nodded as she slowly and sluggishly climbed the stairs. Getting to her room, she hastily removed her work attire, which at this point was feeling heavier than normal. Neatly folding it, she placed it over her nightstand next to the small candle which she had previously lit when entering the room. Dawning a nightshirt, Mira quickly blew out the candle and slowly felt the weight of sleep set upon her.
Once her head hit the pillow, she was oddly enough, not feeling as sleepy since the room was now toed bitingly cold. Slowly turning back and forth to find a comfortable position, she could feel the room grow even colder. “Must have left the window open again,” she thought as she struggled to get up from the bed. Relighting the candle, she could now see her breath, its large puff of white hazing up in front of her. With a giant yawn, she paced over to the window and was surprised to see that it was closed and locked, keeping the cold winter air out.
Straining her eyes, she could see faint specs of red focusing in and out from the window. “What is that?” Unlocking the window, she pushed it open and was blasted by a bolt of rushing cold wind. When she stared back at where the red dot had been, she was not able to make out anything. With a frown, she closed the window back up and was amazed to see that the red dot had reappeared.
Luke sat near the hearth where he had his bowl of stew and a small wooden block that he was slowly whittling away at. Shaking his head, he was baffled at Mira as this was the first time she had ever skipped a meal. “Am I working her too hard?” he thought as he blew the wood chippings into the fire. A scream, the sound reminding Luke of a screeching tire, reverberated from upstairs, its abrupt high pitch noise sending him into shock as he knocked over the bowl of stew, the content of which now decorated the wall in a mosaic splatter.
Pulling out the large golden ornate sword that sat embedded in the stove, he rushed upstairs. Opening the door, he was bombarded with freezing air and the feeling of unease. Methodically scanning the room, he finally found Mira huddled in one corner of the room with a chair held out as a makeshift weapon. “Mira,” Luke shouted, rushing over to her. “What happened?”
“I... I don’t know,” she said with a trembling voice. “I saw something red in the windows, and when I looked closely at it, I saw a face. When I turned back around, a hand came out of nowhere and tried to grab me.”
Hearing that, Luke immediately ignited the sword; it’s hot flames mildly warming up the room. “Who’s there?”
“Give me the girl,” a disembodied voice said as it trembled across the room.
“Why? So you can possess her?”
“Ha,” the voice laughed. “Do you take me for a mere ghost. Those things are like ants to me.” When the voice stopped, two sets of hands materialized in front of Luke, trying to make their way towards Mira.
Grasping the golden sword firmly with both hands, Luke swung the sword hitting both floating hands, causing them to dematerialize.
“What are you going to do with that,” the voice said. “That weapon has no power over me.”
Squinting his eyes, Luke walked forward. “So, you’re a vampire.”
“Vampire? How dare you compare me to those… to those… blood bags,” the voice shouted, causing the room to be covered in a thin layer of ice.
Closing his eyes, Luke pondered about the situation. “Duh,” he said, hitting the side of his head. “Mira, can you move.”
“Yes,” she said, nodding her head.
Grabbing her hands, Luke bolted to the door of the room. Rushing down the stairs, he pushed Mira towards his bed as another pair of hands grasped at him, causing his skin to glow a pale white. “Fuck,” Luke shouted, rubbing at the affected area. Flakes of frozen dead skin peeled off as dribbles of blood trickled down his arm. Looking over to Mira, he pointed towards the front of the store.
“You mere mortals are nothing,” the voice said, this time in a smug disgusted tone.
Raising the sword, Luke made wide arcing swings as he slowly made it down the corridor to the front room. Rushing up to him, Mira held out a potion of healing, which Luke immediately poured over his arm. Looking down the hallway, Luke could see the wall starting to grow sheets of ice that ran down towards the front room. A form only visible by the shifting cold air slowly drifted towards the two.
“Are you done with your little games?” the voice said. “If you give me the girl, then I may spare your life.”
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
Grabbing the box filled with junk they had previously set on the back shelf, Luke started to hurl random pieces of poetry down the hallway.
“What makes you think any of that will hurt me,” the voice said, the pieces of pottery crumbling into dust as they barreled down the hallway.
Running out of objects to throw, Luke hurled the box down the hallway and proceeded with the next box of junk. Taking each item one by one, he pitched them until he landed on, what he thought, was the right one. “Found it,” he said, holding it up to the spectral voice.
“What is that?” Mira said, grabbing on to the back of Luke’s shirt. It was like the other items in the box made of pottery, but unlike the other items, it looked extremely obscene. The item was shaped like a woman, or maybe it was some kind of demon, a succubus maybe? It was in a revealing pose, with little to no clothes, or perhaps it did have clothes once but was chipped away over time.
“What are you going to do with that, throw it at me?” the voice said mockingly.
“Is that what you want me to do with it?” Luke said with a smirk. Pulling the object back in a pitcher stance, Luke motion for Mira to move further back. With one good hurl, he slammed the object at full force towards the floor. Surprisingly, it did not break but bounced across the room like a rubber ball. “Wow, that's a lot tougher than I thought.”
Picking it back up from the floor, he slammed it a few times on the edge of the front desk. After seeing the object not even cracking, he moved over to some of the metal weapons and armor. Striking it against a shield hung across the back wall a few times, then at a large metal club with spikes jutting out of each end, Luke was astonished to see an object of this ‘taste,’ could be so durable.
Placing it on the floor, Luke held out the large golden sword. Igniting the sword, he poked at the statue. A small beam of light slowly discharged from the blade as a loud screech could be heard from the hallway.
“By the nine hells, that really hurts,” the voice, now coming from a floating skeleton with bright red eyes draped in several layers of dark clothes said.
With a smirk, Luke raised the sword for another strike.
“Whoah, whoah, whoah,” the skeleton said, holding out his hands. “Let’s not get hasty; we can talk this out.”
“You want to talk it out after trying to kill me?”
“I wasn’t trying to kill you; I was just trying to… Well, anyway let me introduce myself, I am the great wizard Kaultos.”
“Don’t you mean lich?”
“What’s a lich?” Mira asked.
“A lich is a wizard's version of immortality. They cast a spell upon themself to turn undead, then they usually hole up in a dungeon and build an undead army.”
“How did you know he was a lich?”
“That’s pretty easy since I’ve had several in my campaigns.”
“You fought liches before?”
“Uh… yes,” Luke said. “B-back to the topic, why did you want Mira?”
“Well… you see, as you said, I am a lich, but a lich without an army. I’ve met several other ‘liches,’” he said disdainfully, “that have thousands and thousands of undead, but I can’t stand the idea of an undead army. They are just so… ehh.”
“Ehh?” Luke repeated.
“Repulsive... What’s the point of being immortal when the only thing you can talk to are stinky rotting bodies. I want my army to be full of living, breathing, ...woman,” he said, quickly adding the last part.
“Uh-huh… Care to explain how a perverted lich like you ended up in my shop?”
“I am no pervert, I am a connoisseur,” he said, eyeing Mira. “Why, when I was in my dungeon, I was happily sleeping when I was rudely disturbed by those wretched adventures. When I awoke, they were in the middle of a fight with my guardian hound, those smelly, sweaty, heathens. At that point, I did not have the desire or the willingness to fight them, so I went back to sleep.”
“You were unwilling to fight because the whole group was made up of guys,” Luke guessed.
“The archer was a guy, the mage was a guy, and the guy who looked like a bag of pure muscle was their healer, I mean like, c’mon.”
“So, you just let them take you as treasure?”
“No… They thought my phylactery was in poor taste, so they left it. A couple of days go by, and a fresh adventuring group comes in and looted the remaining items. I was still sleeping when I was being looted and didn’t even know I was being sold until such lovely gentle young hands were handling me.”
“What's a pillow… phillo?” Mira asked.
“Phylactery?”
“Yes, that thing.”
“A phylactery is the lich's heart. You normally can’t kill a lich without destroying its phylactery.”
“Oh, so is that why he’s so scared of you destroying that thing,” Mira said, pointing to the statue.
With a nod, Luke looked back at Kaultos. “So the question now is, what am I supposed to do with you? I can’t kill you.”
“You can’t?” Mira and Kaultos said in unison.
“I mean sure, I can kill him now, but knowing him, he’s the type of wizard that has multiple phylacteries set up. If I destroy this one, his soul will just jump to the next one.”
“And how do you know that?” Kaultos said, crossing his arms.
Walking past Kaultos, Luke paced to the back room and grabbed a set of keys. Pulling out a basic bronze one, he walked back to the front of the store and opened a small draw that was set near the bottom of the counter that was filled with a bunch of random knick-knacks. Digging in the draw for a few minutes, he pulled out not one, not two, but eight different statues, all with different obscene poses.
Even though some of the more unseemly statues were covered up by cloth wraps, Mira still had to turn away from the sight of them as her face had turned a pale red. “This is not even counting the other three I sold a while back to some noble who thought they were ‘magnificent pieces’ for his collection.”
“You have Matilda,” Kaultos said, picking up a modest-looking statue with a slim figure dawning a less than modest dress. “This was my first love, she died over a hundred years ago, but I still remember her fondly.” Holding the figure up to the candle, he wiped the thin layering of dust that had accumulated over the years. Small chips of red paint fell to the floor, as he admired the wooden figure.
“How did she die?” Mira asked.
“I blasted her with a lightning bolt after she rejected me for that smug Guther. I did reanimate her afterward, but she was never the same,” he said with a smug smiling face which contrasted the horror that swept across both Luke and Mira.
“Oh...” Mira said, any followup questions immediately vanishing from her head.
“Yeah… I’m going to need to kill you,” Luke said, placing the blade over the statue’s body.
“No, no, that was ages ago,” Kaultos said.
“If he can return once you kill him, why is he so scared?” Mira asked.
“Ah, that’s because it takes his body a very long time, months to years, to have enough power to be able to return to a new phylactery. If by that time adventures are able to find and destroy or remove the objects to a faraway location, he won't be able to come back. ”
“You sure know a lot about liches. I can count on my finger the living people who know that secret.”
“I’m very knowledgeable when it comes to these things,” Luke said with a shrug, his eyes glaring past the lich at the monster manual poking out of his worn backpack.
“I know, let's make a deal. If you let me stay here and provide me with supplies so I can continue to make my art, I will help protect and take care of your store.”
Scratching his head, Luke’s eyes wandered over to Mira. Vigorously, she shook her head, letting Luke know that she was not at all happy with this arrangement.
“It’s already too cramped for two people let alone three,” Luke said, in a half-hearted tone, “but, I think I have an arrangement that might be more suitable to your needs.”
Early the next day, after his groggy sleep on the floor as Luke had let Mira sleep in his bed due to her room still being a frozen coffin, the walls, still covered in a thin layer of ice. Even if the room had gone back to normal, Mira still insisted she stay near Master Luke because she was not trusting at all of Kaultos, and to that point, Luke agreed, making sure to keep his statue along with the rest of them stored inside a small container.
“Hello, Master Luke,” a kid said, walking into the store to drop off today's parcels of random objects.
“I actually have an outgoing parcel,” Luke said, placing the box on the counter along with several gold coins. “Can you get this expression delivered by the end of today.”
“Most definitely,” the boy said, grabbing a small pad of paper and writing out a recipe for Luke.