What followed was more of the same. I could barely breathe by the end of it, the encroaching dread from watching the very existence I’d once called home be pulled apart thread by thread sending my mind spiraling into some dark thoughts. There was a lot of self-doubt, a strange amount of despair, and a splash of loathing that I couldn’t understand where it was directed. I wanted to blame something for what happened to the Earth, but it was just bad luck.
Nothing had drawn the things there. Humans hadn’t pushed some existential boundary, like the Maq’Dim had. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And somehow, that just made it worse. There was nobody to hate. No blame to be placed. Other universes had existed for so much longer than mine had, yet mine would be completely gone within a few millennia. Gone, or as Archivist put it, ‘irreparably damaged’.
There was really nothing left for me. This was my life now. I wasn’t sure if that was what Archivist wanted to drill home by showing me this, but it’s what I took away from it. What little remaining doubts I had were laid to rest, completely and utterly buried under the annihilation of my old lives. Whatever Garret, Tarel, and the rest of humanity were doing was barely of my concern. If I couldn’t put a stop to Endra, then we’d be fucked before we had a chance on this world.
I stepped dully out of the black room, into a black hallway, and let Archivist lead me back to everyone else. They didn’t say a word as we walked, but they did throw an arm over my shoulder and pull me into an awkward hug that said more than they ever could have.
Even though I didn’t have humanity, I wasn’t alone. I had Jun, Mortician, The End, everyone I hadn’t met on board the Ossuary, and even Okeria. My old friends were gone. Their new lives would shape them into completely different people, just as mine had. Maybe we could be friends again someday, but there wouldn’t be any familiarity in those relationships. It would be two people meeting for the first time, and I’d have to treat it like that. Anything else and I’d lose myself trying to bring forth people that never actually existed in the first place.
The weight didn’t lessen. But the burden was… a little more bearable. I felt a small smile curl my lips, a stark contrast to what I’d just experienced, and returned Archivist’s compassion. They buzzed with content, and I felt the darkness around me bleed away ever so slightly. Not enough to reveal anything, but enough that it felt comfortable instead of stifling.
Then I stood at the threshold of light, watching The End and my two companions chatting like old friends over a kitchen table. It was peacefully surreal, and something unique to my life now.
“Ah, Sebastian.” The End said when it noticed me walking up. “Our time is coming to a close, so if there is anything you wish to ask of me in person, now is your time to do so.”
I hadn’t thought I’d been gone for that long, but I guess I had. “Why did those things destroy my home universe?”
Jun and Mortician froze up, and The End hummed sadly. “Your universe was tainted with something I have dubbed ‘existential rot’. It was created at a time The Beginning was mad with power, and a small dose of that madness cemented itself in the makeup of your existence. Over time that madness fostered and ate away at the fabric behind everything, leaving only soft rot where a sturdy wall should have been. I have witnessed a fair few universes fall to the rot, but yours was the first to be… inhabited.”
“Are all the universes made around then rotting away?” I asked, a strange sense of dread worming itself into my mind as I spoke. “Are any of them populated?”
The End nodded gravely. “The rot does not spread at the same pace within all of them, but there are other civilizations who will eventually fall to ruin among them. I hope against hope that they can become technologically advanced enough to join the all-world without our intervention, but it is just that. A hope. A hope that did not come true for humanity.”
“Jesus.” I muttered, shaking my head as I took my seat next to Jun. “Is there anything I can do? Or… we can do?”
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“There is. We have been working towards it for millennia. Yet it is still not even close to fruition. Do not trouble yourself with problems you can do nothing to fix; focus on Endra, and when you are eventually strong enough to aid our cause, I will welcome you with open arms.” The End said calmly. “I know the desire to help is strong, but for the moment, the best thing you can do to aid is to become stronger. Far stronger. Strong enough that you could entertain the possibility of defeating one of the things you just witnessed alongside Archivist.”
I… was that even a possibility? I couldn’t even vocalize how completely and utterly impossible that was. I was one person. Those things broke reality and destroyed my world. Killed everything that didn’t get a core just by… existing. The look on my face must’ve given away my thoughts, because The End chuckled knowingly and slid a box wrapped in blue and white ribbons over to me.
“Once those thoughts turn from impossibilities to improbabilities, we will talk about those beings. For now, though, I have a gift for you. It is not something that will make you stronger; rather a small treat from someone who wishes you the best on your respective journeys.” The End said with badly restrained anticipation. “Juniper and Mortician both have theirs, though I asked them to restrain themselves until you came back. You may open your gifts now.”
Jun tapped my shoulder and motioned at a box that looked exactly like the one The End had given me, except hers had Nia’s symbol on the top of it. “Mortician’s has a symbol I don’t recognize, and yours doesn’t have a symbol at all. I’m a little worried this is going to be something huge.”
“We are as well.” Mortician agreed, pushing their box towards me. It had a symbol that looked like a gemstone carried on a small wave, tinged with flecks of black and gold that were a complete contrast to The End’s blue and white. “It feels like this is our symbol, but we’ve never seen it before.”
So why didn’t mine have anything on it? I pulled the box closer, finally feeling that it was a hundred times heavier than I expected, and frowned down at it. Compared to Jun’s and Mortician’s, my box was wrapped in smaller ribbons. That was the only difference.
I gently undid the ribbons, casting them to the side as I pulled each silky-smooth piece of strange fabric away, and eventually found that they weren’t wrapped around anything. The ‘box’ was just the shape the ribbons had decided to take, and inside of them, there was a small white square. It looked a whole lot like white chocolate. I picked it up. It felt like chocolate. It even smelled like white chocolate, but with a tinge of vanilla and some intense berry-like fruit that I couldn’t place.
“What’s this?” Jun wondered aloud, holding her own little confection up for everyone to see. Hers looked slightly different from mine; the square was mint green, and from the intense scent it gave off, it would taste like dark chocolate mixed with cinnamon sugar. “It smells like…”
“Something from your home.” Mortician said quietly, golden-tinged tears forming in the corners of their eyes. They were staring down at a small cylinder of deep purple, one that smelled heavily of lilac and black licorice. “We remember this. Some of us loved this little desert, yet others absolutely hated it. We wonder how that will affect our enjoyment of it now that we are one.”
Sweets. One single little bonbon each. I raised an eyebrow and looked over at The End, only to see that it was watching us with some of the most scrutiny I’d ever seen. For a moment, I considered that these chocolates would somehow tell The End our deepest secrets. But then I recalled all the times it had acted like a concerned grandparent.
Maybe all it wanted was to see if we enjoyed our treats. I raised mine to my lips and bit it in half, feeling the all-too-familiar sensation of sugar against my teeth and tongue as I started chewing. And as I chewed, the flavour started feeling… familiar. Nostalgic. One moment I was sitting there, and the next I was sitting in my parents’ home with the fireplace on. Mom passed around a box of store-bought ‘luxury’ chocolates, leaving the pure milk chocolates for my brother and the white chocolates for me. Some of them were flavoured with vanilla, some of them had fruit fillings, and I loved all of them equally.
That was… so long ago. I leaned on the table with one elbow, staring at the deep red paste concealed within the chocolate that held so many memories. All the Christmases with my family. The birthdays when dad came home with a little bag of chocolates to add to mom’s store-bought white cake. Their smiling faces, happy at the simple fact that I was happy. All of that was gone.
But I remembered. Even though those times were well and truly done, that didn’t mean they never happened. I looked over at Jun to see her deep in thought, staring at her empty hand as if she wished she hadn’t eaten hers in one bite. Mortician was none the better, a tiny little corner nibbled off of their treat while they mumbled to themselves through a cascade of tears.
“Just because the better times are gone, it does not mean they did not happen. Cherish the good memories. Curse the bad ones. Forgive. Hate. Learn. But never forget.” The End spoke with an intensity that almost deserved to be captured in all-caps. “On behalf of the Ossuary and all its inhabitants, I welcome you to the family.”