I remained silent for the rest of the day, my presence in the classroom barely noticeable. Silas shot me concerned glances occasionally, but the distance between us kept him from approaching. Naomi was engrossed in her book and seemed oblivious to my turmoil. Despite sitting beside me, Nolan didn't utter a word of concern.

Naomi's earlier words echoed in my mind, a stark reminder of my place here: "They live in their worlds, bound by their ranks and reputations, and you're an outsider, Bumble. The rules for us are different."

Feeling the weight of my isolation, I was gathering my things to leave when Silas's voice startled me.

"Bambi?" His tone carried a mix of hesitation and concern.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he quickly added upon seeing my reaction.

"Is something wrong, Silas?" I responded, my voice tinged with an unintended sharpness.

"Can we talk?" His eyes searched mine, pleading for a moment of my time.

He was the only one who seemed to care, a fellow victim of Darren's cruelty. "Okay, what's wrong?" I asked, softening as I shoved my books into my bag.

He paused, struggling with his words. "I wanted to say thank you for standing up to Darren this morning."

I forced a smile, trying to mask the pain that gnawed at my insides. "Don't mention it."

His concern deepened. "Did he... do anything else to you?"

Before I could reply, the scrape of a chair cut our conversation short. Nolan stood up, his expression unreadable but tinged with urgency. "I just got a message from my parents. We're supposed to have dinner with them. Dad's waiting outside. We need to go now."

Silas looked torn, glancing from Nolan to me. "But I—"

Nolan didn't wait, gripping Silas's arm and steering him towards the door. "Let's talk later, Bambi!" Silas called out, his voice trailing off as they exited.

Left alone in the suddenly silent classroom, the reality of my solitude hit hard. The brief connection with Silas was now interrupted, and it felt like a cruel tease of the companionship I craved. Nolan's interruption, whether out of concern or necessity, had cut off the one person who might understand what I was going through.

Fighting back tears, I grabbed my things and left the room. The hallways were quiet, the noise of the day's end muffled by the thickening veil of my desolation. Each step towards the exit was heavier than the last; each breath felt sharper.

Outside, the chill of the evening air did little to soothe the turmoil inside me. Alaric's car was a small beacon in the dimming light of the parking lot. He rolled down the window as I approached; his face was filled with concern.

"Everything alright, Bumble?" he asked, his voice soft but worried.

"Just a long day," I muttered, sliding into the passenger seat and avoiding his gaze.

As soon as the door closed, I let go, tears streaming freely. Alaric started the car, the gentle hum of the engine a stark contrast to the storm of my emotions. He didn't speak, giving me the space to cry, to feel the full extent of my pain.

By the time we pulled up to the house, the worst of my tears had subsided. Alaric turned to me, his expression gentle. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head, the day's events swirling chaotically in my mind. "Why is it so hard?" I whispered.

Alaric sighed, a sound filled with a weary sadness. "Because you're seeing the world as it is, not as we wish it to be."

We sat silently for a moment longer, the quiet between us a comfortable blanket. Then, gathering our things, we headed inside. The familiarity of home was a small comfort in a world that felt increasingly alien.

Once inside, Alaric saw my tears continue to fall. He sighed and spoke with a strict tone. "Bumble, is crying helping you in any way?"

"No," I whispered.

"How about whining? Is that helping?"

I started to feel frustrated because of all these questions. "Why do you ask these? They do not make me feel better!" I raised my voice. Alaric frowned.

"I am not asking these questions to make you feel better," he responded calmly. "I am asking these questions for you to understand—"

"Understand what?" I cut him off harshly. The tears started to flow from my cheeks faster, and it was getting more challenging for me to breathe.

"Me being an outsider or being beaten up because I helped someone!"

"Be careful of the way you talk, Bumble. There are two things for me to be mad at you now!" Alaric raised his voice. I was surprised; he had never raised his voice to me before. He was always calm and warned me gently, but never raised his voice. I frowned.

"What?" I asked coldly. "What do you mean? Why would you even be mad at me? I am the one who should—!"

"You have no right to be mad or sad at your situation and blame your bullies. Opposite, you were the one to blame! I told you not to help anyone because these kinds of things would obviously happen to you. And let me give you a heads up; it will worsen."

Hearing his words horrified me. "Worse?" I whispered. "Worse than this?" I said slowly with a louder tone this time. "I was beaten up and couldn't even fight back because of you."

"How was it my fault?" Alaric asked, confused. I could feel the tension between us starting to rise.

"Like you said, I didn't attack them. I didn't protect myself! And here is the result!"

I raised my blouse slightly to show him my bruise. Alaric's eyes clouded for a moment, then took a deep breath.

"And whose fault was that? What were you even doing there where multiple kids were training? Worse, why did you push someone who had nothing to do with you?"

"They were threatening—"

"You?" Alaric jumped. "Or someone else?"

"Why does that matter? I did the right thing!"

"Really?" Alaric asked. From the way he looked at me, he was frustrated. "How did that work out for you? Did that person help you when you were 'beaten up'?"

I didn't answer his question because the answer was simple: he didn't.

"He thanked me for helping him before leaving the class," I muttered.

"Does 'thanking you' change anything?"

I shook my head. I started to feel worse with this conversation. I wanted to leave.

"Now," Alaric's voice suddenly became calmer, "do you understand?"

I looked at him, puzzled, surprised by his sudden change and question. "Understand what?"

"The way you act and what it causes. Even now, it continues to affect you badly."

I frowned, trying to understand his words. Alaric smiled and started to caress my head gently.

"When you act that way, just like you did now, you feel lesser, and I, your opponent, feel superior. When you show your anger, sadness, or any other emotion accepted as bad, your opponent will feel superior."

"So, you act angry purposely," I gasped.

"Being angry and yelling at you over your past mistakes does not change what happened," Alaric said softly. "That doesn't mean I am not angry at you. I am angry. But I also understand that everything is new for you. You wanted to help a distressed person; that is the right thing, but we don't live in the right world."

He put his hand on my head softly. "I am still proud of you for not attacking. Smile or laugh when they attack you or try to make fun of you next time. Agree with what they say, even compliment them."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Being happy to them, like acting happy because they are beating me up? How does that help?" I asked.

"It might take some time, but I am sure it will help. When bullies attack you in any way, they mostly do that to feel superior and fill a gap inside of them. If you don't give them that chance, they should get bored of you and leave you alone."

"It doesn't make sense," I mumbled. "Isn't there another way?"

"There are many ways, but the route I am suggesting is what I believe to be best in your situation. The teachers won't help you. They might even look the other way in your situation. Attacking or fighting back might cause you to be banished from this safe area, and being banished from a safe place will make things harder for you, especially while you are trying to enter a new safe area."

I sighed and nodded slowly.

"I will try my best, Alaric."

"Good, now come here. Let me look at your bruise."

As Alaric guided me to the dimly lit living room, I finally felt relieved to let go of some of my emotions. As I sat on the sofa, I watched his concentrated expression, a mix of concern and sternness that only Alaric could manage.

"So, tell me how all of this escalated."

I nodded and started to tell him what had happened since this morning. I told him how I asked Silas to come and watch other kids to learn who our competitors were. I told him how Darren started to make Silas uncomfortable and the reason I pushed him. Then I told him how Elijah came and stopped Darren from attacking us, the lunchtime incident, and the punch at the end. I told him how everyone ignored me and Naomi's words.

"Your friend was right," Alaric said as he applied a cool gel to my bruise. "But being an outsider right now doesn't mean you will stay as an outsider forever. I am sure they will get used to us sooner or later. Oh, and don't be mad at the people in the cafeteria, either. They did what they thought it was safer for them."

"To watch me, an outsider, getting slapped and dragged out?"

"Yes and no," Alaric said as he got up and sat beside me. "They chose not to intervene to protect themselves. There is a basic rule for every human being that never changes: they put themselves first. Every person thinks of themselves and their safety first. For other people to think about your safety, some connections have to be established. You don't have them."

"What are these connections?" I asked.

"You need to be close with them, close enough to share secrets or always want to be together. But you are not close to them, and you are not one of them, so there was no reason to protect you."

"How about Freya, Rhys, or Nolan?" I asked. "We were supposed to be a team!"

"Not really," Alaric continued. "You are a group of people who have the same interests. They won't do anything to help you as long as it won't affect their goals. Like I said, you are not close to them. You are not one of them, so there was no reason to protect you."

"But Elijah came to our rescue."

Alaric sighed. His face showed he was uncomfortable. "I believe he didn't come to help both of you. He came to help the person who was in trouble, who was one of them."

"How are you sure about that?" I asked, confused.

"Did he ever look in your direction, or was his body toward you?" Alaric asked.

I tried to remember all its details. Elijah's gaze was at Darren's first as he was preventing the slap. Then his gaze turned towards Silas, and he only talked while he was looking at him, but not to me. I felt my eyes start to tear up again as a strange pain coursed through me.

"No," I whispered. "No, he didn't."

We stopped talking for about a few minutes. Under Alaric's pitiful looks, I felt worse.

"At flag race," I started talking. "Am I allowed to fight back, allowed to attack?"

"I believe so. If this wouldn't be the case, they wouldn't let you in."

I nodded slowly.

"I am going to give you a day off, so relax and enjoy your free time," Alaric said calmly. "Tomorrow, we are going to continue our training."

"No," I jumped quickly as I clenched my hands. "I want to continue the training."

"We will not continue, Bumble. You are not in the right psychology to train."

"I need to!" I said sternly. "I have to do that for the flag race-"

"No," Alaric said. He was unhappy with my response. "You are not training because of the flag race. You are training to survive in this world. To survive against voidspawns, not some stupid high school rubbish," he said coldly as he got up.

"Your bullies, your so-called friends, and even the guy you like will someday go away. But the danger outside, the voidspawns, will remain the same. And for me to train you, I need you to have the right mind. I can't train a teenager who acts like a kid, sulks, or plans to do something stupid because they won't listen to what I tell them," Alaric closed his eyes for a moment and started to take deep breaths. My eyes teared up with his words; it made me feel guilty.

"I promised your mother to protect you, to show you how to survive and protect yourself in any kind of danger, Bumble. I did my best to do that, but if you continue to act that way, I fear that I can't hold on to that promise," he said lastly before leaving me alone in the living room.

🐝🐝🐝

The chill of the early morning air was a crisp reminder that the day ahead held its own challenges. My nerves hummed with tension as I entered the forest clearing where our team assembled for the flag race training. Despite yesterday's turmoil, I was determined to keep Alaric's counsel close—to mask my true feelings and bide my time until the flag race.

When I saw them all laughing and happy, I felt pain in my heart. I gulped and slowly continued to walk towards them. I felt the tension give way to rage and frustration. I was mad at them, disappointed at them for not even looking my way, but I tried to hold on to what Alaric told me yesterday. When Freya saw me, she smiled as if nothing had happened yesterday.

"Morning, Bumble!" She greeted joyfully.

"Yeah, good morning," I muttered.

Naomi smiled at me gently as she was fixing her shoes. Silas offered a shy smile to me while Nolan nodded in acknowledgment, his demeanor reserved, perhaps unsure of how to bridge the gap after yesterday's abrupt departure. Rhys and Freya smiled as always. I clenched my fist at this sight.

Calm down, Bumble, don't forget what Alaric said. Don't forget it!

Suddenly, blue weapons, which I learned this word last night, appeared right before us.

"Alright, I think I did it right. It is still in loading state, but the range arena will be done soon," Freya said with a smile.

"Not consulting us, lovebug, how thoughtless," Silas said in his normal, playful tone. Freya looked at her as if she wanted to hurt him.

"This was literally what we talked about yesterday! And what did I say about that word?" Freya hissed. Before Silas could answer, Nolan jumped.

"Let's just go with it. I believe everyone, besides Bumble, knows how to use them," he said as he waved the gun. All of them nodded.

"Okay then, I can help Bumble," Freya entered the conversation. "In the end, I am the best with guns in rank E," she smiled.

"Sure," I said with a forced smile.

"Alright then!" she said joyfully. I followed her as the holograms with humanoid figures appeared before us.

"Let's start with the basics," she said, her tone professional but friendly. She handed me a rifle, guiding me to the correct position. "Focus on your posture and breathing. Shooting is as much about precision as it is about control."

As I aimed and fired under her watchful eye, the recoil less pronounced this time, I found a rhythm. Each shot was a moment of focus that pulled me away from the chaos of my thoughts.

"See? You're getting the hang of it," Freya complimented, a small smile playing on her lips. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Thanks, Freya."

She smiled back at me, then left to practice for herself, too. As we practiced for about an hour, we started to talk about tactics. They talked about the names of the people I was unfamiliar with, but when I looked at Naomi's face, I saw that she was too. They talked about what they might be good with and what needed to be done in the next hour. After that, we packed our things, discussed the last flag race role we needed to prepare, and left.

While I was walking back home, I felt somewhat different. Different from yesterday, I felt people's gaze on me. I could feel that they were uncomfortable with me walking there. My steps got quicker and quicker until I realized that I was running. When I arrived home, I was out of breath. Seeing Alaric preparing breakfast made me feel at ease. I smiled and walked towards him.

The rest went fast. We had our breakfast as if nothing happened yesterday. I prepared for the school, and Alaric dropped me off. As I walked through the school hallway after changing my outfits at home, I tried to recall Alaric's advice and keep my head high. The buzz of students around me was a stark contrast to the solitude I felt. I had barely made it halfway to my classroom when I heard a familiar, unwelcome voice behind me.

"Well, if it isn't the bug," Darren sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I turned to see him flanked by his usual cronies, their faces twisted with smug anticipation.

"It's a good thing we brought our bug spray with us," one of his friends said mockingly. I forced a smile, remembering Alaric's words. "Good morning, Darren."

His eyes narrowed at my cheerful tone. "What's the matter? Are you still feeling heroic after yesterday?" he taunted, stepping closer until he was looming over me. He and his friend surrounded me. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, but I kept my face neutral. "I'm just trying to get to class, Darren. Is there something you need?"

He laughed, a harsh, grating sound that drew the attention of nearby students. "Oh, there's plenty I need. For starters, how about you admit you're just a pathetic little outsider who doesn't belong here?"

I felt a spark of anger flare up. I started to hate the word 'outsider', but I quickly smothered my rage, focusing on keeping my expression calm. "If that's what you think, Darren."

His smile faltered slightly at my lack of reaction. He leaned in closer, his breath hot on my face. "You think you're clever, don't you? Trying to act all tough. But you're just a coward bug, hiding behind your fake smiles."

I clenched my fists and tried not to punch him as my hands itched for it. "If that's what you believe, Darren," I repeated with a big, bright smile, my voice steady.

Darren's eyes flickered with frustration. He wasn't getting the reaction he wanted. He grabbed my arm roughly, yanking me closer. "You think this is a joke? Do you think you can just laugh off everything I do to you?"

I bit back a wince as his grip tightened. "No, Darren, I don't think it's a joke. In fact, I am pretty sure you are serious about what you were saying."

He pushed me against the wall hard enough to make my head spin. Everyone around us looked in our direction to see what was going on.

"Then why don't you do something about it?" he hissed. "Why don't you fight back, huh? You were really good at that yesterday."

The hallway had gone eerily silent, all eyes on us. I could feel my classmates watching, their curiosity mingled with fear. I looked Darren in the eye, my voice low but firm. "Because I don't need to fight you, Darren. As I said before, everything you said is what you believe."

For a moment, Darren's face twisted with rage, and I thought he might actually hit me. He yanked me through my collar. "These words soon will be your reality," he hissed, and as I was waiting for a physical attack, he let go of me, shoving me away in disgust. "Pathetic," he spat. "You're not even worth my time."

As he walked away, his cronies following, I slumped against the wall, my whole body shaking not with fear but anger. My eyes teared up with the fury I was holding. The students around me slowly returned to their conversations, the moment of drama passing as quickly as it had come. But the humiliation lingered, a bitter taste in my mouth.

I straightened up, taking a deep breath. I could feel the rage bubbling just beneath the surface, but I swallowed it down. Alaric's words echoed in my mind. Smile, laugh, agree. It was harder than I thought it would be, but I knew I had to try. For now, I would endure till they finally accepted me or got bored of me.