Guranahan

Even considering Jerefiah’s vast incompetence this was a task that I could have sent my 5-year-old son on with all the confidence of him coming out of it with good news. Yet here I am looking at this stupid big head that’s making every excuse possible to justify his failure.

He’s been on the call for only 3 minutes and I’m sick of him. Without really knowing what I’m doing my hands reaches out and shuts down the hologram depicting the daft Carnitopian. The irony that they have such a large head and yet so dim is not lost on me.

“Jeeves, find Jerefiah, and kill him.”

“Yes, Sir”

A voice from behind me, one that never left my side. I have no clue of his real name or race, in my mind, he is illustrated as nothing but a shadow. Flowing and flickering alongside the various blinking lights and levers that makes up the captain's quarters. The number of times I’ve tried to catch him off guard is beyond my count. So, as Earth Mafia’s Patriarch, it would be worrying if he wasn’t sworn to protect me. But he is, thanks to my late Old Man.

With Jeeves on the case, I can rest easy that the bumbling big head will be dead soon enough. I also know that Taijitu is beyond my reach thanks mostly to him, which means it should be eradicated before that diabolical woman gets any crazy ideas.

I scratch my left cheek where a freshly healed scar resides.

“What was that swines name again, Jeeves?”

“I believe it was Lessova, Sir.”

“I want her dead too.”

“Of course, Sir”

Jerefiah

I knew he’d come but not like this. My race is a funny one, very rare and with not a lot known about it, it gave me the perfect hand for faking my own death.

Jeeves, however, is a problem.

That bastard butler is a real menace and is the only reason I am in my current state. Five days showerless, airless and underground. In case that sounds familiar - you’re right - I’ve been buried. I found myself a lot closer to death than I had originally hoped for, my ability to shut down all bodily functions for a couple of hours allowed me to appear dead despite only suffering a bullet wound to the head. My guess is that he used such a crude method in case anyone found the body they would just assume it was some back-alley fight went wrong.

I spent the first few hours digging the bullet out of my four-inch thick skull, I eventually found it a few millimetres from my brain.

The rest of the four days I have spent digging. I have been digging up and putting the dirt beneath me so that I slowly moved up, closer and closer to sweet freedom. I’ll be on the run for a bit but I have a couple of ideas for what I will do after getting out. My fingers slip through the dirt and find no further resistance. My races inability to breathe means I’m not craving the air but more the light, oh, and some food.

My body rises from the soil which I would imagine looks terrifying to anyone watching. Unsurprisingly there is no one. As my eyes adjust to the light I soak in my surroundings. A wasteland, a few kilometres away I see the city, a few kilometres in the other direction a cloud.

I nod my head and smiled.

He knew... That damn Jeeves knew I was still alive all along. I’ve heard of Earth’s Storms before and their ability to tear a reinforced antanite wall to pieces. My skull may be strong but not as strong as antanite, more like very hard steel.

I sit down, appreciating the orange and green monstrosity approaching me. The wall of colour engulfing even the sky as it moves forwards at an impossibly slow rate which I know is actually quicker than some spaceships. It’s the effect everyone is familiar with, when something is far away, it looks like it’s moving very slowly.

Unfortunately for me, the city is a lot further. I would get about a quarter of the way before being turned into space dust.

A few hours passed and the storm was close, another four minutes I would guess, before the beautifully terrifying storm consumed me like a hungry beast, swallowing something too small to be of any real nutritional value.

I had resigned to my fate as soon as I’d seen the storm, but now I was certain.

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I heard a slow buzz in front of me, from the direction of the storm. My first thought was some sort of lighting storm or electrical charge that made the storm so deadly.

I pictured myself being shocked to death, or maybe frazzled to dust by a voltage beyond the possible.

Instead, I found an odd looking ship parked in front of me, side on it looks like a horizontal letter ‘Y’. A small glass door opened and through it an eye, it was almost comical until I focused on the eye and found no pupils, looking closer I found they were there just a very pale grey colour.

“For what reason are you out here, young Carnitopian?”

“To die,” I stated simply, my ticket out of here has arrived and I was not about to blow it.

“Do you have blood on your hands?”

“Only dirty blood, that was to be spilled eventually.”

“All blood is to be spilled eventually. Would you like a lift to the city, I believe in second chances, and third at that.”

“I believe this to be only my second.”

“Then hop aboard, and don’t touch anything or I’ll drop you right here where I found you.”

I nodded my head amicably and climbed through the newly opened door, ignoring the flush red interior and taking one of the two seats available, my hands glued to my inner thighs.

A voice from the speakers in the walls suddenly came to life.

“Take the other chair, sit there quietly.”

I moved without hesitation to the other chair and sat down.

“Oh, and fasten your seatbelt.”

Only at that moment did I realise we still had to outrun one of Earth’s Storms. I strapped myself in with a lot of fumbling due to the nerves, just as I heard the familiar click, my whole body pushed against the chair, the speed of the vehicle reaching such ridiculous levels that I heard a crack that sounded an awful like we had just broken the sound barrier.

I began trying to wrap my head around my current situation. This thing had come out of the storm, meaning even if it was for a short time, it was actually inside it.

Whilst that alone is already beyond my comprehension, this ship going as fast as it is is also a little beyond what I am used to, for something this size to be able to outrun one of Earth’s Storms is what I had previously believed to be impossible.

After the short ride and even shorter admission into Earth’s second largest city, Alavas, he parked and I got out, thanking the eyeball before moving to walk away.

“Sir, are you from around here?”

“Long enough to know the place, what are you looking for?”

Giving directions is quite literally the least I could do for the man that just saved my life.

“It’ll come as a surprise but I’m looking for a small gym, quite famous in the past but has recently fallen on some tough times. They go by the name of Taijitu.”

What a coincidence.

“By chance, I was heading there myself, I was wondering if maybe I could get a lift then we’d both get there as soon as possible.”

The mysterious eye blinked then replied.

“I believe that to be the most efficient method, hop aboard once again. Seeing as this relationship seemingly is going to last longer than both of us thought, might I ask your name.”

I nodded, not sure if he was able to see me in the back of his ship or not.

“Of course, Jerefiah, and yourself?”

“I suppose that would be a good question, I have no name using vocal languages but I suppose if I were to choose the one most similar to my name it would be Flatten Mountains.”

I creased my brow, how am I supposed to introduce someone named Flatten Mountains.

“I do beg your pardon but a name like that may mean a lot in your language, I’m afraid it is slightly unconventional in ours.”

“And? What is wrong with being unconventional.”

“Sir, I do not mean to be rude, however, you will be taken a lot more seriously a lot quicker with a serious name.”

“Are you mocking my name, saying it’s not a serious one.”

“I’m afraid I’m just stating the truth.”

The ship came to a halt. I put my head in my hands, I’ve insulted him, he’s going to kill me. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“What would you recommend instead?”

I released the tension in my body and chose to approach this very carefully.

“How about Monty.”

“Monty, for what reason?”

I saw that coming.

“It means mountain in a very old language, one so old most people have forgotten even its name.”

“I understand, you are translating my name. Thank you for your recommendation, I shall call myself Monty.”

I sat back in my chair, pleased with my quick thinking. I can only imagine what it says on his travel visa, I bet the guys at Earth customs were surprised when someone came through called Flatten Mountains, then again, probably not.

He starts the aiv again and after a few moments and some directions from me, we arrive outside the run-down gym.

“This place has not aged well.”

“Tell me about it…”

“It was created around 3000 years ago, founded by a man by the name of Shen…”

It took me a moment for me to realise he was actually telling me about it.

“Oh, not don’t worry, it’s just an expression to let you know that I agree with you.”

I can’t see his face but I can feel his realisation and embarrassment in the way that he stopped talking immediately.

“Actually, it’s a ridiculous expression and doesn’t make much sense. I am also sure it died out a couple of centuries ago.”

I try to reconcile.

“Let’s go inside.”

He ignored me. I smiled as the door opened and I got out, not knowing what to expect my mysterious saviour to look like. My lack of expectations still was not enough to prepare me for what I saw.