“What do you want to be when you grow up”

“What’s your future career?”

“Where do you see in X years?”

It’s the same question I’ve been answering every year of my whole life.

And every time I answer them… I get a reason not to pursue that dream.

I wanted to be a superhero.

Superpowers doesn’t exist.

I wanted to be a King.

Kings barely exist anymore.

I wanted to be a police officer.

People with those jobs are at risk every day.

I wanted to be a pharmacist.

Memorizing things are not my forte.

Whenever I have something I’ve set my mind to, I immediately throw the notion away.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

But I don’t regret them.

Do I?

I don’t.

Regretting means I totally could’ve done at least one of those dream jobs. But I couldn’t.

I am a slacker, who knows nothing but sit on my ass, and browse the internet, play games, eat, sleep, repeat, and I’m satisfied with that.

I should’ve been dead. Happily dead, at that.

I seem to be unconscious, or rather, in a paralyzed state.

I can’t move a muscle but I can think clearly.

Just to make sure I got all the marbles in the right place:

I am Phillip Zhang, a Chinese American.

I died at 28 years old, due to overexertion, due to hobbies.

I never had a girlfriend, because I’m sure they’ll dump me anyway.

I never had any obsessions. Unless you consider my gaming hobbies as one.

I didn’t have a favorite food, I’d eat anything given to me.

Nor a favorite anything.

Maybe that’s why I was chosen by that… Root of happiness, or something.

That, while I accept the fact that I never had anything big going on in my life, I should’ve. And they gave me a chance to do the things that I could think of.

Or maybe I’m fucked in the head. The last ramblings of a dying mind.

I think I’ve read something about it. That some people’s brain activity spikes so high while on the verge of death. Like time slows down for them, their life flashing before their eyes. But since I don’t have any things worthy of remembering, my mind is just making up scenarios in my head.

What If I was given a second chance, truly? Would I take it? Like, give myself the doubt of actually being satisfied.

I don’t know.

If it’s the former, that I have been revived, then I’ll try to do things.

If it’s the latter, then it’s just a matter of time before I truly die.

So… While I’m waiting… I think I should answer one thing.

Am I truly satisfied?