Devi’lynn’s arms ached with effort as she pulled herself up to the flat roof of the storehouse. Her hands and knees got soot-dirty, and the child-robe she wore didn’t fare any better. No matter! She hated her clothes anyway. She wanted to wear practical ones like the boys. Perhaps some armor too. She was definitely going to convince Father the next time!
The sky rumbled up above, and Devi’lynn squinted at the thickening dark clouds. It would rain soon, which would hurt her skin if it caught her out in the open. Devi’lynn grinned. She was in a race against time! This trip turned out to be a very dangerous mission.
Renewed with determination, Devi’lynn adjusted the adult-sized belt-pouch on her waist, then ran across the rooftop. Halfway through she remembered that this was a stealth mission – if anyone caught her she would be dragged back to the mansion – and so she slowed down, softening her footsteps. She darted from chimney to chimney, hiding behind them as she scouted ahead. She didn’t encounter any enemy, but she had a sudden insight that the chimneys were probably not chimneys. They were soot-dirty and eroded metal things, unused for several millennia. The storehouse was the remnant-building of an ancient, forgotten civilization. No one knew its original purpose.
Devi’lynn reached the other side of the rooftop, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the sights beyond. She could see outside of the Lynn estate from here! There was a paved road, and men who looked like traders, and carts both old-fashioned and heat-powered, and so many small houses that Devi’lynn didn’t even know where to look first! There were guards patrolling on the road too, and some of those amorphous blob-like species from another planet that people kept as cleaners. Devi’lynn wondered whether she could catch one on her own. Not today, though.
Today, her mission was to feed the slaves. Her belt-pouch was full of salted meat, which tasted really bad to her but she knew that the space-imps liked it. She also knew that Randel disapproved of slavery, but that was just how life was in Ylvasil. Space-imps were stupid and needed their superiors to be useful. But they weren’t fed enough, so that was why Devi’lynn was here. Wasn’t she?
Devi blinked, gathering her thoughts even as the dream-scape around her fled. Her perspective shifted as her body grew … or perhaps the world shrank down around her. She began to walk, her footsteps sending ripples over her surroundings. Her heart followed a distant tug. Was it the Dream Catcher, or was it her connection to Randel? She followed it either way.
Becoming self-aware within her dreams was difficult. Sometimes it happened quickly, sometimes it took most of the night. It was always about memories, however. Devi had to relive her childhood over and over again, opening old scars and regrets—and then, then she would go and face Randel’s demons in a hopeless battle to help him somehow. Devi didn’t think that Randel appreciated how difficult this was for her. Granted, he couldn’t appreciate it because Devi had never told him about her dreams.
He didn’t need to know. Randel had his scars too, though it wasn’t the reason why she didn’t tell him. It was fear. Devi was afraid that Randel would treat her differently once he saw her past. It wasn’t fair, she knew. She saw Randel’s memories, but she hid hers from him. She probably had no reason to, since Randel was the most open-minded person Devi had ever met. But even so, she was afraid. It was better to be careful.
Tonight, Devi arrived at Randel’s dream-scape before he became self-aware. It was a scene she had already seen: Randel and Sarah, both of them grown-ups, sitting close to each other in the living room with their limbs intertwined. The memory had a happy-cosy quality in the beginning, but it would turn sour-sad when Sarah accused Randel of forgetting her birth-day. Which was, as Devi had learned, a sacred day in Human culture. Sarah would start yelling at Randel and then she would punch him and storm out of the room, fuming-angry.
Devi had confusing feelings about Sarah. She was fond of child-Sarah for what she represented in Randel’s life. Perhaps Randel’s dreams were affecting Devi too, but she liked her anyway. Child-Sarah had been the only warm-spot in Randel’s life for a long time. Adult-Sarah, however? Devi hated her. She didn’t know what made child-Sarah become so unbearably callous, but Devi hated her even in the happy memories. Worse yet, it wasn’t just hate—it was jealousy too.
It didn’t make sense. Women weren’t supposed to feel jealous! Men felt jealous as they left their wives behind during times of war. Men felt jealous when another man so much as looked their wife in the eye. Women had no such concerns—or so Devi had been taught. Only the most successful men could afford a wife, and that was only if they were lucky. If a man had more than one wife, then he was a Lord or Warlord and his wives were supposed to be honored to have such a husband. Having sister-wives was a privilege.
Devi had never actually thought about what her birth-mother and her step-mothers must have felt—up until she saw Sarah with Randel. Granted, Devi had never expected to feel whatever it was she felt for Randel, so perhaps her oversight could be excused. This was all very new to her. Perhaps if Devi’s birth-mother hadn’t died while delivering her, she would have taught her such things. Perhaps. But as it currently stood, Devi was constantly surprised by all the negative emotions she felt about a woman who existed only in Randel’s memories.
Adult-Sarah was beautiful, at least by Human standards. Devi knew enough about Human culture that she could tell such things. Sarah had dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes—and a body similar to Devi’s. Sarah was her Human alter-ego. Was it a coincidence, or was it arranged by the gods of Nerilia? Was Devi supposed to be Sarah’s replacement? Were the two of them really so similar, or was it just all in Devi’s head? Since when did she care so much about looks? It wasn’t all that mattered. Devi was quite confident that, unlike Sarah, she wouldn’t get mad at Randel just because he forgot some stupid birth-day.
Devi walked closer to Randel’s memory, pushing against it. The dream-scrape pushed back at her, firm and insistent, trying to dissuade her from interrupting the dream. She didn’t relent. Her eyes were set on the back of Sarah’s head as it rested on Randel’s shoulder. The closer she got, the more resistance she felt, but she could ignore the brunt of it if she focused on a singular thing. Reaching Sarah’s head. Her black hair was long and silky, braided much like Devi’s. Devi reached out and sank her fingers into it.
Her perspective shifted. Randel stirred next to her, his arm tightening around her shoulders. Devi lifted her head from his shoulder, smiling. Her arm slipped around his waist, blue skin pressed against his blue shirt, hugging him closer.
“Huh?”
“It’s alright,” she said. “Take your time. You were dreaming.”
Now that she didn’t need to focus anymore, Devi took in the details around them. The room was small and over-stuffed, but the details looked fuzzy-hazy in Randel’s memory. The clearest item was a screen in front of their seat that had lots of Humans moving on it. There was no sight of the shades yet. Good.
“This is nice,” Randel said, snuggling closer. “You’re getting better at finding me.”
“Yes,” Devi said. “Easy cheesy.”
Stolen novel; please report.
“Easy-peasy,” he said. “Why are you wearing this dirty robe, though?”
Devi looked down at herself, realizing that she was wearing the clothes from her own dream.
“Oh,” she said, then willed her clothes to disappear. “Better?”
“Now you’re just teasing me,” Randel said. He looked down at her, but even as he did a set of soft Human clothes appeared on Devi.
“You’re really good at this,” Devi said, peeking into her pants to check the underwear she wore. “How do you make multiple layers?”
Devi could feel Randel shrug beside her.
“It’s my dream. Probably why I can manipulate it better.”
Devi had her doubts. Even in her own dreams she wouldn’t have managed to purposefully conjure such intricate clothing—and Randel did it with a single glance. Devi wanted to tell him how impressive that was. She wanted to, but it wasn’t what Randel needed. He didn’t take well to being praised; he would feel uncomfortable and perhaps even doubt her sincerity. Devi had never known a person like him.
“Perhaps I should undress more often,” she said. “I enjoy it when you put all kinds of exotic clothing on me.”
“Come on, Devi, a pair of jeans and a blouse are hardly exotic.”
“They aren’t? Then you should try harder next time. What else do I keep you for?”
“So now you admit that you’re just abusing my goodwill.”
“What? Me Sylven. Me speak Human no understand.”
“That’s an old joke, and you stole it from me. Shame on you, copycat.”
“Grr!” Devi turned her head and poked Randel’s shoulder with her horns, which turned into an impromptu wrestling-match as Randel tried to turn her head away. He sprawled out on the sofa, laughing, allowing himself to be defeated as Devi sat on his stomach.
“You have a strange way of showing your gratitude,” Randel said.
“Ha! Gratitude? Insolent Human, you were implying that I was a joke-thief!”
“Yes, but I gave you exotic clothes.”
“Oh. Well, yes, I suppose I can be grateful for that.”
Randel moved suddenly, leaning up until his face was right in front of Devi’s. She gripped his shoulders as she stared into his eyes. Green eyes. Oh, so alien and green.
“There is this thing Humans do at times like this,” Randel murmured. “It’s called kissing. Have you heard of it?”
“Yes, I did,” Devi whispered back. “It’s a very disgusting act. Don’t Humans know how much bacteria there is in their mouths? That’s what they eat with! Very dirty.”
“Well, we Humans do many dirty things,” Randel replied. “Like holding hands, for example. Can you imagine it? We touch all kinds of things with our hands, and then we hold each other’s hand. Imagining this perversion makes me shudder.”
But Devi could barely hear his words; she was too focused on his lips as he talked. His breath caressed her skin, tickling her neck, keeping her captivated. The corner of his lips twisted into a roguish smile as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He didn’t move, however. He didn’t move, and so Devi leaned down and touched her lips against his. Her horns bumped against Randel’s forehead, but he adjusted the angle and pressed himself closer. His lips felt firm and soft at the same time, sending pleasure-shivers down her spine. Her heart beat faster. She drew back quickly, catching her breath.
“I don’t see the appeal,” she said.
Randel laid back to the couch, seemingly unbothered by Devi’s words and by how short their kiss had been.
“That’s unfortunate,” he said. “And here I was just about to say that this is a dream, so there are no bacteria here. It’s as hygienic as it can get. You know, in case you wanted to practice kissing me some more.”
“Yes…”
Devi blinked, realizing that her fingers had unconsciously gone to her mouth. Her lips tingled as if they could feel Randel’s touch still. She lowered her hand when she saw that he was watching her. Smirking. Devi punched his chest lightly.
“It’s weird, alright? Humans are weird, and you’re the weirdest of them, Randel.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure to remember this moment the next time you accuse me of not being romantic.”
“Kissing is not romantic.”
“It is, for a dirty Human like me.”
Devi huffed, then slid down until she was lying on top of Randel, resting her head on his chest. She was not doing this because she felt flustered. It just felt right to hold him close. Natural. Devi closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It sounded just like hers. She was Sylven and he was Human, but their hearts beat exactly the same way. Steady, comforting. Until Randel spoke again.
“The shades are here.”
“Don’t go yet,” Devi said, her hand grabbing onto his shirt. “Please, just … stay a bit longer.”
Randel didn’t move, but the calmness was gone. His heartbeat sounded insistent-impatient. Restless. Demanding to go.
“What’s wrong?” Randel asked.
It took Devi a few heartbeats to gather her thoughts.
“The shades said that the real Randel is the three of you together. They said that the Randel I knew had always been more than one person. But I know it’s not true. You’re right here with me.”
In fact, dreams like this were the only time when Devi could be absolutely certain that she was talking to the real Randel. Her hand clutched his shirt tighter, unwilling to let go. Once they woke up, she would be back at double-guessing his every word and doubting his intentions. She had always hidden it from him, but it was taxing-tiring both mentally and emotionally. She needed this brief respite. This moment of pure trust.
Slowly, cautiously, Randel moved both of them up to a sitting position. He didn’t say anything, but his posture was tense. Devi glanced at the pair of inky black shapes at the other side of the room. They were still far.
“I can feel that you want to disagree,” Devi spoke. “Say it.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“About what?”
“About me. The Randel in front of you is weak. Both in resolve and in, well, everything else. He has been beaten one too many times. He doesn’t know how to fight.”
Devi drew back so that she could see Randel’s face, but he wasn’t meeting her eyes.
“I don’t agree, and I don’t care,” she said. “Do you really think that being able to fight is what I appreciate in you the most? I don’t need a man to fight for me.”
“No, but fighting with you is another matter,” Randel said. “You don’t have to deny it; I know it’s one of your fantasies.”
“Randel, if you say things like that I’m going to punch you again.”
“I’m just stating the obvious. You like the Randel who can fight. You like the Randel who can stand up for himself. Without the shades I wouldn’t be noteworthy.”
Devi gaped at him. Patiently teaching her his language and culture wasn’t noteworthy? Keeping her company without ever asking anything in return wasn’t noteworthy? Being kind and understanding, treating her like an equal, and trusting her with his deepest secrets weren’t noteworthy?
“Are you trying to provoke me,” Devi said, “or are you just hunting for compliments?”
“Fishing for compliments,” Randel corrected her. “And no, I’m not—”
“Shut up.”
“I’m just—”
“Shut up!” Devi said, climbing out of Randel’s lap to get to her feet. “I’m going to free you from the shades.”
Randel shook his head and was about to speak, but Devi cut him off again.
“No!” she said, pointing at him. “I am going to free you from the shades! Mark my words. I’ll stay close to you, and when the time comes I’ll fight the shades and I’ll win. And then you’ll feel confused and lost, but I’ll stay by your side. I’ll stay until you realize that I stayed for you, and then I’ll stay some more. You’ll feel grateful, and you’ll say that I was right, and I’ll say that I told you so! Then I’ll stay with you, and we’ll live happily together.”
Randel sat, frozen in place. Even the shades in the background seemed to have stopped drifting. Devi put her hands on her hips, satisfied with their reaction.
“That was—horrible,” Randel said, hanging his head. “Terrible speech, Devi.”
He let out a strange, choking sound as if he was holding back a chuckle.
“Oh, please,” Devi said. “I think that you of all people should appreciate it. You make these silly speeches all the time, and—Randel, are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Randel said, sniffing. “Just give me a moment.”
He stood up then, and for a moment his wet eyes met Devi’s gaze. Just for a moment though, before he turned his back to her. Tears. Those were tears in Randel’s eyes. Devi stood completely still. She had never seen a man cry. Was this a Human thing? What was Randel feeling? Had she said something wrong? What was she supposed to do now?
“Terrible speech,” Randel mumbled, wiping at his face. “Don’t do that ever again.”
Devi stood silently, mystified by his reaction. She had a feeling that Randel didn’t mean what he had just said—but then what were those tears for? For all she had claimed to know him, it seemed that she had still so much to learn. Oh, but she would learn. Of that much she was certain. She smiled at Randel’s back.
“You’re welcome.”
Randel took a quick, almost shy glance at her over his shoulder.
“Thanks, I guess.”
He then walked – or perhaps escaped – toward the shades and plunged his hands into them.